My bf is mad at me and not talking to me properly because I'm

>>17869643
Is it a girls only trip?

>>17869663
It is in the sense that I'm staying at my friend's house, but he was suggesting we rent a beach apartment since he had tons of money and nothing to do, and I'd still get to see my friends anyway, but to be honest I just didn't want to.

>>17869643

Enjoy the rest of your holiday and once you get back home sit him down and have a proper discussion with him. Nothing you can do while you are away and he's bitchy, so make the best of your holiday and then work on it once you get back.

>>17869669
You say you are going with your friends.. are there going to males on this trip?

>>17869643

If it's a trip including males and females where some of the males are single and good looking I think it should be fairly obvious why he's angry.

Obviously it's your life, it's up to you to do as you like and if you thought you'd have less fun with him there you have every right to keep him home... just if there are other boys involved there's only one thing he will expect.

he's angry cause he feels like you're not including him.
>>17869669
you just said it yourself you'd rather not be with him. its just a slap in the face honestly. and now its like you're rubbing it in saying you're partying all night so now he's definitely thinking you're fooling around on him cause a) you didnt want him to come b) well its a holiday without him

Just get some dick while you're there to take your mind off him
He'll never find out

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56KB, 657x527px

>GF ditches you to go hang out with her friends and handsome Chads
At least he's man enough to be mad

>>17869643
At least he has a reason
I'm being blamed for something I don't even know about, literally texting like normal, 3 hours later, I'm getting attitude

>>17870307
lol same boat bro. gf comes over last night all cuddly and laughing. 10 minutes later she's flipping cause we're lying in my bed joking and she's hangry cause she didnt get food the two hours prior she was sitting having a drink at a restaurant, and now its my fault cause i didnt get dressed fast enough, and now its my fault she's starving and throwing a tantrum that she doesn't want to go out anymore. she woke up this morning still in her mood and left without a word even after i helped her clear off her car in the snow

>>17870320
Jesus Christ, I was just shocked, and I'm going from being shocked to being annoyed thinking about it

I'm literally on 4chan just killing time because this is when we're supposed to talk, THAT is not happening so I'm here in memetown

What in the world goes on in their minds?

>>17869643
>What do?
kill yourself for being a slut

>>17870344
no no, save that for the other one who admitted she cheated in another thread

this is seems innocent

>>17869643
It's because you had to be passive aggressive and leave secretly instead of just up and telling him that's how you feel.

Rip communication 2016. We had a good run.

F

>>17870342
lol, i'm not quite sure, but i know a lot of the problems could be solved if they just did something for themselves. instead expecting us to do it, then saying no we don't want you to do it, to "omg why didn't you do it for me!?"

>>17870257
This is why the humanity is fucked and on the verge of a extinction. Either we destroy technology or we fuck ourselves.

>>17869643
yikes, honestly i know it sucks because sometimes you want to just be with friends but when someone is so emotionally invested in you saying that they cant come is a huge stab in the heart :/ having been in a simmilar situation as your bf i can tell you it fucking sucks. The best thing you could do is sincerely apologize and tell him you didnt mean to hurt him, and no "buts" about it lol

>>17870519
yeah having risky sex with lots of partners is whats going to cause humanity to die out

You don't deserve him.

I hope he's smart enough to break up with you.

>>17870253
>>17870526
>>17870617
I didn't want to include him, I don't want to have to include him in everything, I like being individual, and I don't want to feel like I'm the center of his life and there's nothing else. Plus I think it's too soon.

We've been together 7 months.

>>17871328
>We've been together 7 months.
uhh way past expiry date for someone like you, you should start finding a new guy.

We all know what happens in those trips.

>i'm going to a vacation and you cant come lol, also tonight i'm patying with some random people
>why is he mad???

>>17871347
>>17871350
I understand the situation itself might be uncomfortable even though I never felt any form of jealousy, but if he trusts me then he shouldn't have a problem with anything I do at all.

>>17871356
That's not how it works honey, you can't just do whatever and expect him not to worry.

>>17869643
I went to Europe to study for one semester and took several photos at a party where a drunk female friend was smiling next to me and my gf threw a hissy fit...
At least I had legitimate reason, you are a terrible gf OP. Not because you refused him, but because you didn't communicate with him and settle this issue before going on this trip.

Genuinely curious op, are you autistic?

>>17871361
It is though, if he truly believed in me what would be the issue?

>>17871365
I did communicate, he said there was nothing I could do to make the feeling better and I should just take the damn trip because nothing he said would matter to me. And I did in fact said I wouldn't change my mind about it. I tried to assure him nothing would happen but it's not enough. He said he felt like I was putting the relationship at unnecessary risk which makes no sense.

>>17871356
Trust is given, not expected. Let's be real here, you're acting in an extremely untrustworthy manner and you're acting surprised he's not cool with it.

Then on top of it you didn't want him to go with you. Trust is a two way street. Would you really be comfortable with him disappearing for a week just to party and wouldn't let you come along because he didn't want your company?

>>17871371
You going on a trip to a place with semi naked dudes who are most likely way more attractive than your bf and who are going to eye you up, together with your girl friends this will certainly create a perfect ambient for flirting.

>>17871377
BUT I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.

God, why is this hard to understand? I always go out with just my friends and he never complained about it.

>>17871378
Also, you not wanting him with you there is pretty worrying as well. I have seen couples break up for way less.

>>17871371
>I did communicate
but the issue was not settled, he was unhappy and you went anyway, that's a clear disregard to the state of your relationship. Why not break up with him first. inb4 you don't want to do that lol but you don't want to compromise either.


>I was putting the relationship at unnecessary risk
Yeah he's right.

>>17871380
>BUT I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.
And I'm not saying you have to. But you're ignoring the context of what you're doing here. Your behavior at a bare minimum LOOKS absurdly sketchy and is exactly what I would expect from someone looking to get some strange.

A girls night out is one thing, going out for a week to party and refusing to let him come along is another. Apparently you're too slow to tell the difference.

>>17871380
One week is long time though.

>>17871391
I'm going to stay at my friend's house and I didn't want to rent an apartment, I didn't feel like it. Also it's to be on the beach, not to "party."

>>17871400
>I didn't want to rent an apartment
And? You told him "that's that". You say you communicated and are wondering why he's still angsty, but you resolved jack shit. The fact you had no interest in working something out with him was a red flag in and of itself.

Your inability to put yourself in his perspective is astounding. You're going to the beach, so you're going to be running around in bikinis surrounded by men. There's going to be alcohol, don't try to bullshit us. You're going to be with your friends, not his. God knows what they'll try to egg you to do, and we've all seen that spiel where the gal insists they'd never do so and then she "makes a mistake" (there was actually a thread from a woman a while ago about exactly that). When he asks about going, you shut him down and end the conversation and don't even try to figure out a middle ground.

I'm going to echo what the other anon said. Are you autistic? It would explain a lot.

>>17871380

Nothing wrong with you wanting time to yourself, but damn, flat-out refusing to have him around is pretty damning.

I mean, do you actually even LIKE him? It doesn't sound like it.

>>17869643
Tell him that you are going to have fun with your friends and, while you understand while he's upset, you would like to discuss this once you get home and if he wants to talk to you during this week he can talk to you without being passive-aggressive.

You're right about not wanting to include your boyfriend in everything you do. It is perfectly normal to spend time alone or with your friends - they are YOUR friends, not HIS, and you shouldn't really force them to include him in all the group activities.
It is normal that he might be jealous or worried, but he can survive a week of jealousy.

I've been with my SO for 10 years - we travelled solo, as a couple, with our friends separately, with our friends as a couple and it was never an issue. If he doesn't trust you THIS little, maybe reevaluate your relationship.

>>17871411
She is not his propriety.
She has every right to spend time alone with people she loves without him around. If he doesn't trust her or her friends it is entirely his problem for no reason, she doesn't have to give him a way to control her or accommodate him. She can, if she wants, invite him along but apparently she doesn't want to.

Stop pretending that it is normal to control your SO and not let them spend time alone with people they love. It isn't.

I'm just going to remind everyone here briefly that the issue is NOT OP's boyfriend being afraid of her cheating on him, but rather that she is seeking leisure time specifically without him and he's unhappy about being excluded.

I say again, this is NOT a question about infidelity concern. So these theories about OP cavorting around with shirtless men are irrelevant. Stay on topic, children.

>>17871435
She's partying on Christmas week without him amd stays at overnight parties, why is it so unreasonable to not want to be left out on that. He doesn't sound like he wants to stop her from being with her friends at all, this is a reasonable amount of suspicion if anything.

>>17871440
Except it is very relevant. Her sketchy behavior would make anyone think she may be going on the trip for that exact reason.
>I'm going on a beach vacation with my friends and you can't come
>why?
>cause I don't want you there teehee
>omg why is he mad?

>>17871451

The point is their relationship is not mutually satisfactory, not that it's adulterous.

She wants one level of interaction, he wants another. Either they cope or they break up because it's not meant to be.

>>17871435
>property
>control

>the guy just wants to spend time with her, and she REFUSED

She went ahead with her plan even if he said he's unhappy, instead of trying to resolve the issue. OP is lying if she said she communicated her feeling to him, that she feels she has every right to spend time alone with people she loves without him around. That part was probably added later. Read the OP
>He asked to be included but I refused, because I wanted to go with my friends, but he got really angry when I went to an overnight luau last night

Control lol, more like lack of control.

>>17871445
>why is it so unreasonable to not want to be left out on that?
Because they are not his friends. He's not part of that social group.

If they routinely hanged out with this group of friends, and they planned a trip together and she asked him to stay home, she'd be a bitch.
But this is not the case - she wants to go with her friends (which aren't his friends) and he wants to come. He's a stranger to these people and it's unfair of him to even ask to go - what's the reason? If he wants to spend time with her they can travel alone. He cannot invite himself to a beach trip and then ask her to sleep in a separate place, and not actually spend time with people she is travelling with.

As a guy, that's sending huge red flags. Not you, but him. You should be able to spend time alone, and he seems overly controlling or jealous/insecure. I have had overly clingy girlfriends before and sometimes I just enjoyed being on my own, even they understood that. They may have been sad or lonely but never angry or suspicious at or of me for it.

>>17871464
If the guy wants to spend time with her he can ask her to spend time with her when she doesn't already have plans with other people.
She is going with her friends, should she ignore her friends in order to spend time with her boyfriend?
And since he's not her dad he cannot really tell her not to go to a party. It's a bit silly to get mad for this kind of things.

He sounds really needy and he needs a reality check. It doesn't matter that he "feels" like you're excluding him. This isn't about the trip and it's not about you. Normal people can deal with that and understand your need for distance. If he can't deal with that without lashing out or trying to manipulate you, you may want to start looking for someone more mature.

>>17871371
>if he truly believed in me what would be the issue?
If you *truly* didn't want to sleep with other people, then what would be the issue with him coming too.

See how that works? It's not an argument.

Like another anon said, you're not acting trustworthy, so why would he trust you. And it's not even about trust alone, since you obviously want different things out of this relationship. He wants to spend time together, you don't. There's nothing you can do really. Just wait for him to make up his mind whether he wants to stay with you or not.

OP here, these are some of his messages he sent to me yesterday, after I complained he was very cold:

>Dude, I just don't wanna be talking shit during your trip. I want you to enjoy it regardless of my issues. I want you to have fun. I wanna be fine when you get back and everything. I just wanna be a little bit dead these days.

>I'm not gonna be punishing you forever for doing something "wrong," or something I think is wrong. Someone can be right and abuse that fact so much that they become wrong. It wasn't even the beach and I don't want you thinking everytime you wanna go your friend I'd get this bad. It was a combination of this entire month.

Some other stuff happened this month that upset him.

>>17871435
>She has every right to spend time alone with people she loves without him around.
Of course she has every right to do so, and he has every right to say her actions are bullshit. I have the right to fuck a tree, doesn't mean it's a good idea.

He's not saying she can't go, he's upset she's acting sketchy and doubled down on her actions. It's blatantly transparent the issue isn't just that she's spending time with friends & family, and it's incredibly disingenuous you'd try to pretend that's the issue here.

>>17871440
Bullshit. She herself has stated that there is an issue with trust here. >>17871356

People don't have faltering trust in someone just because they're hanging out with friends. They have faltering trust in someone because surprise! They're afraid their partner is being unfaithful.

>>17871473
There's a massive difference between being needy and not wanting your gf to go on a week of 24/7 bikini partying alone.

>Normal people can deal with that
Normal people don't have to because normal people either take their partners on these trips or don't take the trip in the first place.

>trying to manipulate you
Letting your partner know you're not happy with the relationship is being manipulative now. Nice one.

>>17869643
I'm with you OP. There are romantic vacations and there are fun with friends vacations and there are vacations with another couple or couples and nothing ruins a just my friends vacation than a bf hovering.

Only once I recall doing anything more than dancing guys I met while away and the only reason was my bf kept texting me.

>>17871371
My own shitty take on this whole thing, for what it's worth, is as follows: that

You want to spend time separately and have a good time with your friends at the beach. Chilled vibes, nothing wrong with seeking that distance.

However, you would do well to acknowledge that you dun goofed in the way you acted on this desire, as the other anons here do have a valid point - you did not make an effort to compromise, and this is the fuck up.

My suggestion to you would be to apologize to your bf after your vacation - not for wanting alone time because you should not have to apologize for that - but for how you disregarded his own feelings on the matter.

But fuck it I'm just some random tool on the internet. Do with my two cents what you will.

>>17871480
If you don't fucking like the guy just break up with the poor guy you retard

>>17871484
What is the sketchy thing she is doing?
Going away on a trip? Not inviting him to a trip with a group of people he isn't friends with? Actually having fun on said trip?
Because she isn't doing anything wrong and he's overreacting.

>>17871495
>honey I will go on a one-week beach trip with overnight partying and you absolutely cannot come along
>but this is not a problem because you are supposed to trust me :^)

>>17871495
>What is the sketchy thing she is doing?
Going to the beach surrounded by people he doesn't know, and then firmly shutting down any of his suggestions about going together.

The fact her first reaction was "No, you can't go, no middle ground" is in and of itself extremely concerning. If she had actually tried to reach a compromise red flags wouldn't be popping up everywhere. At no point did he say she can't go, that she can't do certain activities, etc. If he actually did so I'd get the narrative that he is being controlling, but he's not.

>>17871500
Yes, it isn't a problem.
He shouldn't go to a trip with a group of people he isn't friends with just to control his girlfriend.
He shouldn't tell her to "rent a house with me" and steal her away from her friends.
He shouldn't distrust her because she wants to do what every other normal person does and go out and party with her friends sometimes.
It isn't necessary to fuck a thousand cocks to have fun, I've been in a relationship for all my youth and still partied and got drunk in most of European capitals. I've never cheated.
You don't need to take a flight to suck a dick. If you want to cheat, you can do it wherever. If you want to be faithful, you'll do it wherever.

Don't pretend it's normal to not trust your SO.

>>17869643
Your bf is going about this all wrong. When a gf of mine does this I see it as a free pass for new pussy and take it. gf never hears a word from me. I know what happens when girls go away for the weekend. Fucked plenty of them that admitted to having bf's.

One example. 3 bros and I walking carrying two cases of beer meet 4 girls that offered us a ride and they invite us for drinks at their cabin. 3 of the girls including the one I fucked had bf's. Me and my 3 bros all got pussy that night. The girl I fucked begged me not to tell the other girls, what a laugh.

>>17871487
>Normal people don't have to because normal people either take their partners on these trips or don't take the trip in the first place.
That's honestly untrue. It's normal to have a need for "guys night" or "girls night" and organizing a trip with the girls is a super normal thing to do. It's not normal for her boyfriend to have an issue with that. It is not normal to expect your girlfriend to bring you on her girls' trip as a tag-along.

>>17871504
>Going to the beach surrounded by people he doesn't know
Her friends.

>and then firmly shutting down any of his suggestions about going together.
Because he doesn't know them. Why would he want to go?

I wouldn't want to drag my boyfriend on a trip with my high school friends and I have been with him for 10 years. They don't know him well. We have inside jokes he wouldn't understand, we talk about things he's not interested in, we talk about people he doesn't know, we do things he doesn't found enjoyable.
It wouldn't be enjoyable for either of them, and it would ruin my time with my friends if I had to explain to him every joke and every reference, or if I had to not go out with my friends doing things we like because my boyfriend doesn't enjoy them.

In a relationship you don't become a two headed monster. You are still allowed to spend time alone, to spend time alone with your friends and family and generally to mind your own shit. It was inappropriate of him to ask to go, honestly.

>that she can't do certain activities,
He got mad at her for going to a party and he is mad because she didn't invite him.

OP here, I'll be fair, there were some other things that happened this month, I'll try to name them...

Earlier this month he asked me to sleep over at his place, it had been over a month since I did so, and I said I was tired with work and study and wouldn't be able to do it until January. He said OK. Then I went to study at my friend's house and ended up sleeping over there. The next week I got invited to a karaoke birthday party, and since it was only for my friends, I didn't invite him, and it ended up lasting until 5AM. After this he got really upset and we had a huge fight over me saying I was tired and wouldn't be able to spend the night then doing these things, I told him he was right, and we sort of got along, but then another fight started when another one of my friends came to sleep over at my house the following week.

He said I was doing things with other people that I wasn't doing with him, and that I was pushing him away, because the entire month we'd only seen each other 3 or so hours each day we hang out and we never even went anywhere, just stayed at my door or something like that. This is true, but I simply felt like spending more time with my friends. As a way to make peace though I offered to sleep over at his house this last friday, but then some more shit happened when he saw the Instagram on my phone and noted that my ex's profile was up there on the suggestions, above his. I don't know why this happened, I swear.

He said he felt insignificant in my life and like a second choice. He didn't even want to have sex that night and he's usually kind of addicted to it. The next day I went on the beach trip and now we're here.

>>17871514
>Her friends.
And? Just a while ago there was some broad here who insisted her bf was all wrong about her friends, that they'd respect her boundaries on a camping trip. She later made an update thread talking about how it just seemed to encourage them. People have stated that they're not his friends so he shouldn't expect to go, but it cuts both ways. He knows shit about them, why should he trust them? If you've ever met unstable people that were your friends friend, you'd understand that it means shit.

A good example of a compromise would have been sitting down and going "hey! let's introduce you to some of my friends before this trip to cut down on the tension.". That would have made any red flag here much more insignificant, if not removing it altogether.

On top of all of that, it's pretty fucking clear that there's more going on here than just the trip >>17871522

>>17871470
>If the guy wants to spend time with her he can ask her to spend time with her when she doesn't already have plans with other people.

He probably did ask to spend time with her, and she probably bought this trip up and told him not to come. That led to the OP situation.

>She is going with her friends, should she ignore her friends in order to spend time with her boyfriend?
This scenario is like the most basic situation to handle in relationship 101, like those you cannot avoid forever and if you cant deal with just don't get into a relationship. Why cant her bf participate in whatever she and her friends are doing? did she explain that to him, would he be ok with being left out during their "girl time" but at least still gets to see her at the end of the day? maybe he'd say ok to that. Further more it's obviously not an all girl activity like going to get hit on at party, right? or is it? lol

>And since he's not her dad he cannot really tell her not to go to a party.
Read the thread, he is just sad and disappointed in her. He accepted the fact that she will do whatever she wants regardless of his opinion. Entirely different from the picture you are painting. I doubt even her dad would be able to tell her to do anything haha such a strong woman.

>It's a bit silly to get mad for this kind of things.
Doesn't sound like it's just about "this kind of things"
Read >>17871480
He had something else happened that upsets him. And probably needs the support from his gf or something lol sounds kinda dumb right.

I think OP did a pretty good job at painting a very misleading picture of her bf judging from the response criticizing him, while he actually did nothing to prevent her from going with her friends, not an ultimatum, not even an argument. Whatever his antics were, probably just some tired responses.

>>17870263
This.
OP sounds like a bitch.
I hope he breaks up with you.

>>17871505
>he shouldn't
>shouldn't
Based on what? Your wishful thinking? She should be able to do whatever she wants, but he shouldn't?

You vilified her bf for no reason. He didn't forbid her to go. He was ok with it. He's even dealing with now. You're claiming he's being manipulative and lashing out for the simple fact that he doesn't like that she doesn't want him along. And instead of accepting that they have a disagreement about something, OP is complaining about him not cheering her on.

>if he truly trusted her
If she truly trusted him she would just his judgement and shouldn't go, no? No, because it's a bullshit argument. Like another anon said, trust is earned, not given away.

>I've been in a relationship for all my youth and still partied and got drunk in most of European capitals. I've never cheated.
Good for you that your relationship survived. But there's an unlimited supply of threads and stories where it didn't. Because it's not a normal thing to do.

>>17871511
This isn't one girls night out. This is a one-week christmas trip with beach parties with drinking and half naked men and women everywhere.

>>17871514
>Why would he want to go?
Because she is there? Because the beach is nice? Because he likes partying? Because he wants to make friends with her friends?

>I wouldn't want to drag my boyfriend on a trip with my high school friends and I have been with him for 10 years.
Ok. I would though. Guess that proves you wrong. Check mate.

Stop projecting. OP said nothing about it being a personal reunion or anything of the kind. In fact she specifically said the main reason she wants to go alone is because just that, she doesn't want him to be there.

>It is inappropriate to ask your gf to go on a vacation together.
Holy fucking shit.

>>17871522
Break up with him, you are not ready to have relationship, it will be better for both of you.

I'm telling you this because it reminds me of my ex, its just going to get worse, he probably already lost all trust in you.

>>17871522
How he's not given you the boot is a fucking miracle. Look - you need to decide whether or not you want to be in a relationship with this guy or not because the relationship dynamic you're creating here is not fair.

You can't always want to be with your friends over him and you can't put him on the back burner because "you're tired" - and then doing that exact same shit with others, only compromising as a last resort.

In the nicest way possible, get your shit together or you're gonna end up real single real fast.

>>17871522
>He said he felt insignificant in my life and like a second choice
Well, well. You bf is right and I'm not one to have a problem with time away with friends. You always find time for them and not for him so there must be a reason you do this.

>>17871522
LMAO this guy is a fucking wimp, the shit you put him through.. any guy with backbone would dump you over this

do you even care about him at all?

You sound like my bitch ex. Hope he gives you the boot.

>Why did she want to go alone?
>Why did she still refuse me when I asked?
>How can I trust her going on overnight parties on a trip without me?
>Are her friends more important than me?
This is how your boyfriend's mind sounds right now.

>>17871542
Dude, I'm trying because I'm scared of it ending. I'll provide even more backstory to maybe help sort this all out...

Regarding this ex: I was hung up on him when I met my current bf two years ago, which is why we didn't work out initially. I hadn't forgotten my ex. This year I started talking with my now-bf as friends and told him this ex, who has a gf, got drunk and texted me, and that I was confused. I called him gorgeous and everything, which I now regret. One time I was mad and also said the reason I didn't want my bf two years ago is because he couldn't make me forget this guy. So he's always had a huge complex about this person, and when he saw the profile suggested above his on my phone, he flipped shit.

Saturday he was taking me to my house and he asked me if I'd delete this person of all my social media if he asked me to, I said I didn't know. He didn't wanna touch me anymore. He said "you're making a choice, you just don't realize it." It seemed like he was right on point to dump me, so I caved in and deleted, and then I went to the trip, and that was the last sour interaction.

To be honest I also don't see the need of "forcing" me to delete my ex from social media, because I feel it's totally unnecessary and aggressive even, but he seems on edge.

>>17871522
The poor guy lol

Makes me happy about my dysfunctional relationship.

>>17871529
Why would he need to trust her friends? He needs to trust her. If she knows she wouldn't cheat, and assume she is wise enough to know that they wouldn't rape her, there is nothing to worry about.

Also - that thread was bait. It was the same as the yoni massage bait. Come on.

I agree that there's more going on, anyway.

>>17871530
>He probably did ask to spend time with her
He asked her to go to a trip where he wasn't invited to. She already had plans.

>Why cant her bf participate in whatever she and her friends are doing? did she explain that to him, would he be ok with being left out during their "girl time" but at least still gets to see her at the end of the day?
Because he wasn't invited. They aren't his friends. And he can survive a week without seeing her.

>>17871538
She should be able to do whatever she wants with her life unless she is doing something against the commitments she has with him, he should do the same. He shouldn't ruin her trip with her friends by coming along.

>If she truly trusted him she would just his judgement and shouldn't go, no?
No? I trust my boyfriend, this doesn't mean I obey to him.

>Because it's not a normal thing to do.
It is perfectly normal. I am 24, I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14. I had a normal youth of travelling, partying and getting drunk. This doesn't mean I have to be unfaithful or disrespectful.

>Because she is there? Because the beach is nice? Because he likes partying? Because he wants to make friends with her friends?
He wasn't invited. You don't invite yourself to a trip out of your own initiative.

This is bait, right?

>>17871558
pls lol
>And he can survive a week without seeing her
yeah that's what he said, too.

>>17871552
You both sound very immature and stupid, stop posting here and go talk to your bf. And next time you he him in person, just end it, trust me.

>This isn't one girls night out. This is a one-week christmas trip with beach parties with drinking and half naked men and women everywhere.
There's the truth. This fear of infidelity.

I think you're projecting those fears onto this guy. Honestly, as OP has said more, it sounds like he's just kind of needy and wants her around all of the time. Again, I'm going to say that's not normal. It's common but, it's not healthy or mature.

Best thing you can do, OP, is explain your need for distance to him. He needs to understand that it's important for you to spend time with your friends personally. He also needs to understand that you can't change that. It's your biology.

>>17871560
Unfortunately not.
These are real people in the real world.

>>17871560
It is not bait, with my two detailed posts and the OP I have honestly stated everything that happened this month, so I wanna know what I should do, and no breaking up bullshit, because we're gonna be together Christmas day and I want things to be fine.

>>17871569
Are you interested in him, OP?
It doesn't seem like you are much into him.

>>17871552
you are not treating this guy you call a bf decent at all. what has he done for you for him to be your punching bag? let this guy go so he can get on with his life and find someone that care for him.

>>17871569
>we're gonna be together Christmas day and I want things to be fine

You just want to keep him around to not be alone on Christmas, why not let him go? the poor guy suffered enough.

>>17871558
>He wasn't invited.
You're fucking retarded. You literally said it's inappropriate to ask your partner to go on a trip with her friends.
And you said he shouldn't want to go in the first place, which is double fucking retarded. There are plenty of reasons why someone would want to go on a trip with his gf.

>No?
Yes, that's what I said. Nice selective reading skills.

>I did, therefore...
Yea ok.

If you actually read the thread instead of insisting on your tumblr-tier reasoning, you'd see that OP did everything to completely seclude her bf from her friends. But hey, guess that's normal too, right? I mean if you're a strong independent girl who doesn't need no men, why would he even want to meet her friends? He shouldn't want that. He shouldn't want to know what's going on in her life. Spending time with his gf? At christmas? Who does he think he is??

>>17871569
I feel sorry for whoever marries you.

>>17871569
>I want
this is the problem OP. You get what you want except for deleting your ex's profile but you are angry with him for that and ran away for a week to punish him. Why? Are you really that selfish?

>>17871380
>I don't want to include him
>I always go out with just my friends
Which is it, bitch?

>>17871577
>it's inappropriate to ask your partner to go on a trip with her friends.
Because it is.
My partner is a person, not just half of a couple. He can do everything he wants with his friends, family or on his own without asking for my permission or having to invite me along.
I don't ask him to take part in everything he does, and definitely not ask him to invite me to something. If he wants me there he can invite me, if he doesn't say anything I assume he's fine.
Normal people do that.

>There are plenty of reasons why someone would want to go on a trip with his gf.
Sure, but he wasn't invited. I wouldn't want to go to a place where I am not invited. I don't know you.

I am taking solely about the trip, I think OP is unfair towards her boyfriend and should apologise and fix her behaviour. But, when it comes to the trip in particular, she didn't do anything wrong.

It is not a matter of being a strong independent woman. I need my boyfriend and love him, probably OP does too. I am an individual and enjoy activities without my boyfriend. My boyfriend and friends met, when I felt like including him in my life (for example they didn't meet when I wasn't sure we were going to be together for the long term, perhaps OP isn't sure of that either since they've been together for just 7 months?).
He should want to know what's going on in her life, and to eventually meet his friends, and to spend time with her.
He shouldn't expect to be invited to a trip, or get upset because he wasn't invited.

>>17871522
This is good bait

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Post YFW you're not dating OP

>>17871586
>He shouldn't expect to be invited to a trip, or get upset because he wasn't invited.
Not him but you're taking the trip outside of the context of THEIR relationship, this isn't just a trip she had planned with her friends, this is one of many occasions in a short period of time where he was tossed aside for her desires and her friends. He rightfully felt that he was cast aside as a secondary part of her life and then she tells him that she's going to spend an entire week at the beach with her friends during the fucking holidays and even spent a night at a party and rubbed it in his face.

You cannot solely talk about the trip when it's a big part of a bigger story in their lives. Events and people and their actions and words do not exist in a vacuum.

After reading up to >>17871586 I have to say this:
Congrats, OP. He's going to break up with you, and he's going to do so in a way that lets you know he realized the relationship was dead for months.
You cannot change that, trying to do so will only make it harder on both of you. May as well be nice and let him be the one to break up. It'll keep him from looking for some rope and a sturdy ceiling fixture, and it'll teach both of you some much-needed lessons on relationships.
For OP: Next time someone chases after you while you're in a relationship or immediately after a breakup, just cut them out of your life.
For OP's boyfriend: Learn to be assertive, not passive-aggressive, and do NOT, under any circumstances, be the guy mentioned above anymore.

That said, neither of you two are at fault. Nor is your ex, OP, even though he played a larger role than you think. You are both simply incompatible and inexperienced.
Let it end, learn from it, move on and don't look back. That goes to both of you.

>>17871552
Look, OP, whilst I respect your straightforwardness with him regarding what you do and don't want - you are completely marring this relationship because you are not treating the two of you as a unit.

I'm seeing a lot of "I WANT", "I FEEL" etc etc. and this is what I think is distorting the dynamic of your relationship so much. You need to realize that, as long as you continue to put your own needs above his - only compromising when forced to - this relationship of yours will continue to deteriorate until it just crumbles.

I don't think you're the bitch people here are making you out to be, but you are being incredibly selfish - and I think if you can work on that, or even just show your bf you are willing to work on that earnestly, then you have a shot at getting this unfucked.

>OP goes to a party and fucks random guys
>Doesn't realize why her bf might have an issue with this
???

Is this what the world has come down to?

>>17871649
Oh, I agree. I obviously didn't know all those details when I originally posted.
I said a couple of times that OP acted poorly when she posted the whole story.
I just don't think that the trip itself, out of context, was such a big deal as other anons think.

OP is being unbalanced and unfair towards her boyfriend in general. I wouldn't have known that, given the OP.

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>>17871522
>>17871552
You're clearly not spending time with him in general. It's perfectly OK to want one trip alone with your friends but you can't start screaming "BUT I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME." >>17871380 if you don't include him in ANYTHING

You should honestly ask yourself if you really like this guy or if you're just afraid of being single (actually how my last relationship just ended lol). Don't stay just because of fear (he's not the only guy in the world that'd date you lol). Think hard about what you actually WANT from the relationship.

If you still decide to stay together then just enjoy your trip and make up for the last month once you get back. Go do something you both enjoy for a couple days. Give him lots of attention and make him forget about whatever doubts he had about you not wanting to spend time with him.

>>17871522

You're being emotionally abusive and wondering why he's getting upset?

>>17871757
>emotionally abusive
What. Not holding to her words is bad, but it's not emotionally abusive.

>>17871772

You'd have a point if this was only a one time occurance.

she may not be aware of it, but this is a form of emotional abuse because she is manipulating him in a way to become needy/dependant on her and then refuses to give him the satisfaction by making excuses, while she goes and does the same thing he requests of her.

>>17871674
>I just don't think that the trip itself, out of context, was such a big deal as other anons think.
Nice backpaddling.
You were always aware of the context since I laid it out before a couple of times and you directly quoted me. Then again, maybe your selective reading skills are at fault again. It was never about "I need some alone time", it was always about "I want to go party all night every night for a week on a beach with people you don't know and you're not allowed to come".
And you still literally argued it was inappropriate to even suggest they might make a couple vacation out of it.

>>17871815
I couldn't be aware of the context since OP didn't mention it till halfway through the thread.
She didn't say she had been mistreating her boyfriend and preferring her friends over him persistently over the last month. She said it here >>17871522, well after my original post (>>17871435).

I still do think everything I said.
I think that OP should change her behaviour and prioritise her boyfriend more, but this doesn't mean he acted well. It makes his behaviour more understandable, but still not fair in my opinion.

>>17871815
>And you still literally argued it was inappropriate to even suggest they might make a couple vacation out of it.
Also, it is. Highly inappropriate.
It is not a couple vacation, it is a friends group vacation. He shouldn't have asked to make it a couple vacation.
She had a previous plan with her friends and it's unfair of him to ask her to fuck that up and make it a couple vacation.

Even if it is perfectly understandable because OP has been a bitch towards him over the last month, his behaviour isn't right in this case.

>>17871522

OP you do realise you are supposed to be friends with the person you're dating right?

You are supposed to actually like and want to spend time with your significant other

>>17871786
I don't see any case of her manipulating him to become dependent on her....he just wanted to hang out with her and she chose her friends instead. Yes, it's shitty, but not manipulative. I would ask OP why she chooses friends over him. Are they incompatible? Does he ask too much of her free time?

>>17871848
Come on if your gf of 7 months has been ignoring you for the last month then how are you supposed to react?

See:
>>17871737
>>17871865
>>17871786

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>mfw reading OPs posts

I hope you extend your vacation with your friends because otherwise you will be spending Christmas alone and miserable, wondering where it all went wrong.

I've had an absolutely shitty month and this thread cheered me up a bit. So thank you OP for being so dense.

>>17871909
By having a serious talk with your girlfriend of 7 months. You should be able to communicate with your significant.
You should tell her that you don't mind her having an active social life but you feel like you aren't her priority right now. You should tell her that you wish you could spend more time together, and ask her if she is willing to put effort to do so. You let her decide whether she wants to put more effort into it or not.
You also mention that you would really like to be included in her activities with her friends more - mind, you still want her to go out alone, but you'd like to get to know them since they are so important to her.

Sounds better than "Wee-wee, you went away with your friends, you never spend time with me!!".

>>17871380

>>BUT I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.

>>I always go out with just my friends and he never complained about it.

So you're saying that you don't include him in everything all the time?

Bitch, a relationship doesn't mean hanging out with someone that you happen to be fucking exclusively - it means sharing your life with another PERSON. You gotta deal with their emotions and hangups just like they do yours.

>>17871356
>>17871371

If he's not the same as you and not going out with his buddies he is most definitely going to care, just because he trusts you doesn't mean he won't worry about the what ifs.

Also, after 7 months together, you shouldn't already be at a point where you dont want him to be with you for an entire week, you don't seem to even miss him.

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Relationships typically end like this these days.

Betamale makes 3 months worth of progress on un-betaing himself, gets a gf. Goes back to being beta, gets openly and enthusiastically cucked by his gf. Beta then transforms into a male feminist and devotes the rest of his life to sabotaging women by hijacking feminism with distilled hatred like we're all used to seeing from feminists the past 30 years.

The circle of salt.

>>17869669
This could qualify as deflecting. The question was simple. Is it or is it not a girls only shindig?

2 more questions:
1. Does he know your "girlfriends". I do not mean know personal stuff about them.just has he met them?
3. Can you actually tell us why do you don't want him there? ( without deflecting -- just answer)

>>17871923
Did you read what OP posted? That's exactly what her bf did. You're projecting your own insecurities onto this guy lmao

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>>17871630
dodged a bullet

>>17871939
Yes. I did read it.

She has every right to enjoy herself alone with her friends, she isn't wrong for going on this trip and she isn't wrong for not wanting him to come with her.
She is wrong for not making him a priority.
He is wrong for trying to make invite himself on this vacation, for trying to make this a couple thing and for getting mad at her for actually enjoying himself on this trip.
He is right at being mad at her for being uncaring and distant.

Both should apologise.

What's so hard to understand?

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>>17871630
>mfw if I was dating op

>>17871956
FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS

>>17871522
Dude, just reading your post feels disgusting.

What in the ACTUAL fuck? I hope less people like you exist.

>>17871522

You need to decide if this relationship is important to you, enough to accommodate his needs. He seems more invested then you are and feels like he's putting in all of the effort, little things like telling him you're too tired to see him and then seeing a friend instead might not be too big of a deal but coupled with other things and then a 1 week trip with your friends where he "can't come" are all sure fire ways to make him incredibly insecure about where he stands in your life.

He clearly really likes you, if you don't feel the same way or if your ideas of quality time together aren't in sync then you need to let him go, his jealousy and insecurity will only grow and will probably push you away over time.

>>17869643
>>>17871939
>Yes. I did read it.
>
>She has every right to enjoy herself alone with her friends, she isn't wrong for going on this trip and she isn't wrong for not wanting him to come with her.
>She is wrong for not making him a priority.
>He is wrong for trying to make invite himself on this vacation, for trying to make this a couple thing and for getting mad at her for actually enjoying himself on this trip.
>He is right at being mad at her for being uncaring and distant.
>
>Both should apologise.
>
>What's so hard to understand?
>>17869643
>>>17871939
>Yes. I did read it.
>
>She has every right to enjoy herself alone with her friends, she isn't wrong for going on this trip and she isn't wrong for not wanting him to come with her.
>She is wrong for not making him a priority.
>He is wrong for trying to make invite himself on this vacation, for trying to make this a couple thing and for getting mad at her for actually enjoying himself on this trip.
>He is right at being mad at her for being uncaring and distant.
>
>Both should apologise.
>
>What's so hard to understand?

So taking her boyfriend (of 7 months) would kill the mood ... rightly so. Do share ! I've always been curious of why that would be

he didn't try shit, he even offered to rent an apartment. He wanted to be there with her.


OP should try harder. Either at relationships or hiding shit. Her call.


Trashy though

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>>17869643
>>17871522
Why the fuck are you still in this fucking relationship? It's obvious that you are pretty much forcing yourself to spend time with him, and it's pretty clear that you ONLY want to go out with your friends and sleep around.

Just leave him, he probably deserves better than you.

>>17871552

You are fucking this guy up, leave him for his sake. You have planted so many seeds of doubt in him that he is probably an insecure mess when you're not around. You have fucked up on several occasions, and you don't seem to show much sympathy or awareness to how your words and actions might affect others.

A lot of what you have done is very shady, even if your intentions aren't that way, he has every right to doubt you after everything you have described. If you cared enough about him you would want to do anything to ease his mind, but you seem to just make things worse.

Honestly you shouldn't be in a relationship at all at this point, just go out with your friends and be free, let the rest come later.

>>17872008
Yea op, and you're already on vacation so you can get some new dick to tide you over

>>17871989
>Do share ! I've always been curious of why that would be
Because she wants to spend her time with her friends and not with her boyfriend.
Because people behave differently with their SO and with their friends.
Because it's always hard for an outsider to fit in a group of strangers, and doing it on a trip is extra risky - it's not like "we didn't have fun tonight, he'll stay home tomorrow night".
Because she doesn't want her boyfriend to be alone in the flat he would rent to be there, while she's staying at her friends house or to give up on staying with her friends to stay with her boyfriend.

Plenty of reasons, to be fair.

>He wanted to be there with her.
Cool shit. She didn't want him to be with her. Since it's HER trip with HER friends it's not ultimately his decision.

>OP should try harder. Either at relationships or hiding shit.
What is she hiding?

>>17872018

That's all well and good but if you read the entire thread this is a common occurrence in their relationship, she hardly see's her boyfriend and he doesn't feel like a priority in her life, this is all before the 1 week trip she is taking with her friends that he isn't allowed to come to.

If anyone prioritises their friends this much it shows they just don't really like their partner that much in comparison, or at least would prefer to spend their time elsewhere. Eventually there is a disconnect in their lives, her idea of fun is not having her boyfriend around and seeing her friends, his is to see her.

>>17872034
Sure, and I already stated multiple times that she should fix those issues if she wants to stay in the relationship.

This doesn't mean that the best way to fix those issues is him intruding in her alone time with her friends by wanting to tag along their trip and renting a flat in the same town where they are going. It is obviously going to ruin the trip for her.

I'm not saying she behaved well, I'm saying he should have pointed that out and asked him to solve it once she came back, not doing this.

>>17871996
Because a monkey needs to have a firm grip on the other branch before letting go of the old one.

>>17872052

I haven't read anything else you wrote in this thread so I'm only replying to your most recent one. The best way to fix things, if that's what she wants to do would be in fact to cut back on her friend time to show him he is a priority and NOT to take a 1 week trip with her friends. They have been having a bad month and have issues to resolve, taking a trip that directly relates to all of the issues they have been having just seems selfish and immature of her and only proving his point further about where he stands in her life.

I get what you mean that he shouldn't really be tagging along and he probably knows that too, seems like he's desperate to spend time with the person he loves. Or could have even just wanted to know she cared enough to say yes or compromise in some way, not just a flat out "no".

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ITT
clingy faggots who can't survive without GF telling them they love them to boost their ego

Literally fuck off, I need space to breathe and I can't do that if you're always glued on my ass.
I bet you don't even hang with your SO with each one just doing their own stuff, silently and with an occasional head bump.

>>17872075

/thread

>>17872052
Wow, you're stupid as well. The guy wants to spend time with her, and she keeps throwing an excuse at him, just so she can be around with her friends.

She's messing up the guy, and she should leave him now before destroying him completely.

>>17872077

What is people needing different levels of intimacy and attention?

OP clearly needs much less than her partner, and therefore they are not compatible and should find people that are closer to themselves.

>>17872077
>Fuck others in parties
>don't see your "boyfriend" for a month
Just be a good cuck and pay for my stuff will you

>>17872083

Pretty much this, watch as well as she drags him through this for another year or so and ends up dumping him for being too needy or insecure. How to fuck a person up 101.

Some people just are not compatible, realise this early and move on, don't mess with their minds and self worth only to crush them later down the track.

>>17872076
Leaving for a one week trip after the bad month they had was terrible timing at the least, I agree.
I would say she could maybe find a solid plan to spend the rest of winter break together, and in general putting more effort in the relationship if she wants to stay with him.
It doesn't feel like she is much interested anyway, from the way she talks about him.

I don't think he's an asshole, but yeah - I don't really like desperation and from the way OP put it initially it seemed really, really clingy and desperate.

>>17872083
The guy can spend with her when she doesn't have previous plans withe her friends. She shouldn't find excuses to not see her boyfriend to spend time with her friends, but she also shouldn't have to spend more time with her boyfriend than she feels the need to.

If she's messing up with the guy and he is unhappy he can leave her, he's not obligated to date her if he's unhappy.

>>17871328
7 months in, and it's "too soon" to include him in your social life?? It's not like we're talking about marriage here. This really does seem inconsiderate

so why dont you give him the go ahead to go to Vegas and spend some time at the Bunny Ranch

hes just going there to sleep afterall. So what if there are girls there?

>>17872129
>7 months in, and it's "too soon" to include him in your social life?
My friends didn't even know I was dating my SO after 7 months. 7 months is pretty much nothing. I mentioned him after a year we were dating, introduced him to them after a year and half.

>>17872149
That just doesn't seem healthy, unless you really don't see your friends often. How did you even avoid the subject for that long? They never ask if you're seeing anyone, there was never a "scheduling conflict" between a date with your SO and hanging out with friends?

I just don't see how it's even possible to compartmentalize your life like that, or why you'd want to

If I'd been dating someone for half a year without meeting anyone else in their life, I'd assume she wasn't taking the relationship seriously, and I'd probably start thinking about breaking it off and moving on

>>17872117
He has made an emotional investment in her, and she keeps prioritizing other things (her friends included), rather than him, for nearly every occasion.

Also, the guy is trying to save the sinking ship, called their relationship. He cares about her, even though she doesn't.

Don't forget to sage this shitty thread.

OP if you're reading this just leave the guy and go sleep around, you're using your bf as a means to be socially accepted or whatever stupid shit is stuck in your mind.

>>17872160
No, they don't ask if I was seeing anyone. Why would they?
We don't really pry into each other's lives.

I met up with my friends every Saturday at 6 PM, had dinner and stayed out with them till 3 AM. We met once or twice during the week, told them I was busy if I wanted to stay with him.

I don't compartmentalise my life, I told them when it actually became a relevant part of my life and when me and my BF understood we were serious.
Relationships aren't a great topic of conversation, it's not all that interesting to know how much I like my boyfriend.

>>17872162
I haven't said she doesn't. She should definitely spend more time with him.

I know what he's trying to do, I am just saying he's doing it wrong.
He should impose himself or tag himself along without being invited.

>>17872178
>No, they don't ask if I was seeing anyone. Why would they?
>We don't really pry into each other's lives.

I like 4chan
It really opens me up to the way people live and define friends. Interesting way of life

>>17872178
It wouldn't be "prying" to take an interest in your friend's personal life, that's kind of a normal function of most friendships. I dunno, it's not like I sit around gabbing about relationships with my friends 24/7. But in general I know when they're single, I know when they're seeing someone new, it just comes up one way or another

I dunno, if you're seeing someone for seven months before you'd even consider him a "relevant part of your life," it just doesn't sound like a very good relationship

>>17872182
It is weird to ask your friends that you meet literally every week if they are seeing someone.

I told them when I was ready to and when I felt like it was an actual important thing, I didn't feel any need to say it after a few months of dating. When I was sure we were going to last, I told them.

I don't like talking about my personal life with my friends and they never ask.
I hang out with them, we talk about our interests, joke around, or we do things together.

What are we supposed to do? Sit there and be like "Oh my god I met such a cutie on Saturday!!". Who gives a shit?

>>17872180
They're in a fucking relationship, and he already tried to convince her to go with her on that trip, and hell, he offered to rent a place for them.

She should also try to get him to "tag along", but fuck no, instead she makes him feel like he's an complete outsider, not only in her friend group, but in her life as well.

>>17872194
We've been together for years and are very happy together.

And, no - a guy I've been seeing for a few months isn't such a relevant part of my life that I cannot talk about things without mentioning him. I dated other guys for the same amount of time before him and now I don't even know if they're dead or alive.
When I felt like he wasn't just one random dude I had been seeing for a few months in high school but he was a serious thing I started mentioning him. Before, meh.
I don't enjoy talking about my personal life, I don't see the point. My best friend knew about it after a few weeks we were dating, everyone else didn't.

>>17872196
>He already tried to convince her to go with her on that trip, and hell, he offered to rent a place for them.
He shouldn't have. She didn't invite him. He shouldn't try to impose his presence in her life.

>She should also try to get him to "tag along",
Probably, but she doesn't want to, at least not yet.

>>17872210
Well that's fine, but it doesn't really apply to this thread - OP's boyfriend obviously takes the relationship seriously already, WANTS to be part of her social life, and it's kind of inconsiderate that she's completely blowing him off and expecting him to still be happy about it. They're not just casual fuck-buddies who haven't decided if they're serious yet. And for MOST PEOPLE, a seven-month relationship is long enough to know how you feel and where you stand.

>>17872195
Idk man it's just something that comes up
I work with a bunch of dudes and it just comes up naturally like when we want to hang out it'll be like "I Can't I'm busy with my girl tonight" "oh watch out chucks gonna get whipped again"

It's just odd, I didn't say it was bad

>>17872221
It is perfectly normal to not include your SO in your social life. I still do hang out alone with my friends most of the time.
Even if he wants to be included, she doesn't want him to. They can find a compromise, but it's not like she's a bad human being for not wanting him around when she hangs out with her friends.

He can communicate he doesn't like it and try to find a compromise (for example hanging out with them more regularly), but being upset isn't exactly helpful.

ITT: dumb cunts emotionally enabling OP to continue destroying her "bf"

Fuck all of you

excpect your relationship to go downward spiral from now on OP.

well done

>>17872235
Heh, never did for me. I just said "I'm busy".
He didn't mention me to his friends till we had been together for... 4 or 5 months? I think I met them for the first time after two years. Beside his best friend, and we basically just said "hi" to each other and had a coffee.

>>17871371
This has to be bait, who the fuck would trust and believe in someone like you? Do you even read the shit you write?

>>17872216
So, according to you, he should just stand there, and do as told right?

>Probably, but she doesn't want to, at least not yet.

Why not? They've been together for 7 months, not 7 days, and add the fact that most relationships last even less than that. And it's not that much that she doesn't want him to meet her friends (which again is suspicious/a bad thing for their relationship), she doesn't want him to be around anyway.

The creation of this relationship was probably an impulse-driven decision by OP, and now that she's bored with her toy, she's making up excuses, mainly for herself. Clearly she's not mature enough for anything yet, and probably never will be.

The guy has probably taken the whole relationship thing seriously and is trying to make things work. He probably isn't thinking straight, since emotions are involved in the equation, but he's not acting stupidly either.

I still don't get it why you are trying to stand up for such a wet blanket such as OP, a person purely driven by emotion/need for immediate satisfaction. The guy is clearly being torn apart by her own selfish acts, and deserves better than that self-centered bitch.

>>17872237
It really isn't. I'm not saying it's always BAD to have completely separate lives like that, but it isn't the norm. In this case, it is bad, because it's causing a serious problem in their relationship.

If OP's boyfriend made this thread, not OP, my advice would be to have a serious talk when she gets back, and think about breaking up. Because either she's hiding something big, or she just doesn't take him seriously at all and doesn't see the relationship going anywhere.

>>17872210 is describing a situation where a relationship started casual, remained casual for a while, and they were both perfectly comfortable leading separate lives. That's a balanced relationship where both parties feel like their needs are being met and they're on the same page. OP and her boyfriend are not on the same page, there's a serious imbalance, and you can't just act like he doesn't have a legitimate reason to be upset

>>17872077
Well obviously you can't read, so I'm just gonna give you a (You)

>>17872258
He should tell her that he needs to spend more time with her and, if she didn't make time for him, leave her.
It's up to her to invite him to be part of her social life. It's not up to him to try and force her to let him be a part of it. It definitely crosses a boundary.

>Why not?
For plenty of reasons. From not being comfortable mixing two social groups to not thinking that her BF and her friends might enjoy their time together, from not being ready to have her bf judge her friends and viceversa to seeing her time with her friends is a moment when she relaxs and she wants to keep it separated from her relationship.
I don't know. There are plenty of reasons.

>she doesn't want him to be around anyway.
This is definitely an issue, but it wasn't the topic of the thread.

>The guy has probably taken the whole relationship thing seriously and is trying to make things work.
And he's not doing it properly. He is acting stupidly. It's not like I think he's a piece of shit, but he's not doing the right thing.

>>17872263
It is bad to have completely separate lives in the long run, but it's not a huge issue after a few months.
You don't want your boyfriend to be a stable part of all your social circles and never do anything without him, and you especially don't want that after just a few months of dating when you don't know where the relationship is going.

My boyfriend and I hang out with each other's friends for special occasions, but routinely we still hang out with our friends separately. I don't tag along with his friends when they travel together, and he does the same with me.
We routinely go out with some friends we consider mutual, and travel with them as couple, but our social lives are still mostly separated.

The issue here is that OP doesn't give a shit about her boyfriend, not that she cares about her friends and wants to spend time alone with them.

You're a completely shitty girlfriend and if I was this guy I'd have dumped you already even if you had the body of Margot Robbie and the bank account of Mark Zuckerberg.

Quit toying with this guy and break it off for his sake. You honestly don't deserve him.

>>17872306
>He should tell her that he needs to spend more time with her
>And he's not doing it properly. He is acting stupidly.

What the fuck is he supposed to do? Write it on a fucking wall? Isn't it clear enough to her that he wants to spend more time with her, and she just keeps giving him the cold shoulder.

How the fuck is this guy supposed to act? Just listen to whatever she instructs him to say? And fine, she doesn't want him involved in her social life, but why would she do so? Why isn't she willing to share things with her fucking partner?

Again, I don't get it why you are trying to stand up for OP, since she is probably hiding something from him, and he is the last of her priorities.

>>17872337
>What the fuck is he supposed to do?
Talk to her.
Tell her he wants to spend more time with her. Find a compromise that allows them both to have their needs met. If they cannot find it or they aren't able to stick to it, leave.

>How the fuck is this guy supposed to act? Just listen to whatever she instructs him to say?
Talk to her and find a compromise. Not act clingy because the more desperate you are, the less people want to stay with you. Not trying to force her into anything she doesn't want to do.

>why would she do so?
As I said in the post you quoted
>For plenty of reasons. From not being comfortable mixing two social groups to not thinking that her BF and her friends might enjoy their time together, from not being ready to have her bf judge her friends and viceversa to seeing her time with her friends is a moment when she relaxs and she wants to keep it separated from her relationship.

I am not standing for her, I said many times that she should spend more time with him and make him a priority.
I still think he acted poorly and against his own interests.

>>17871522
Holy shit op your bf made a thread about that!!

>>17872374
Yo he mentioned karaoke too didn't he?

>>17872370
You have a point on that, he could talk to her, but is it really necessary at this point? Shouldn't she be able to understand how he feels or if there's something wrong about him after 7 months of being together?

>>17872390
Yup we all told him to break up with her

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You both obviously have different expectations of what a relationship should be
There's nothing wrong with that, but it does mean you're incompatible. Unless one of you is willing to change dramatically, which I highly do not recommend, it is time to have the talk

>>17872424
No. People aren't mind readers.
He should talk to her.

>>17872456
>He should talk to her.
wait I abandoned this thread long time ago, how are we at this point lol isn't he the one who talked to her and expressed how he feels about her going without him.

>>17872478
white knights

>>17872478
He doesn't get to decide whether he can go or not, or whether she goes or not.
I don't think they got to a shared solution about spending more time together.

>>17872426
Is this b8 lol? Link the thread.

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>>17869643
A relationship is NOT slavery. You are NOT bound at the hip to him.

Fuck all these clingy permavirgins that want the woman to give up her life because of his magic dick.

You have done NOTHING wrong. But also realize that he deserves the same. If he wants to go out to a strip club with his buddies, then you don't say a thing. It's his right under the relationship rules.

> What do?
Give him time to adjust to your freedom. If he can't take it, he'll leave. If he's mature enough, he'll adjust. The ball is in his court.

>>17872575
>If he can't take it, he'll leave. If he's mature enough, he'll adjust.

If he wants a girl that is around him more often that does not make him immature as you're suggesting
He does not need to adjust, he needs to leave the relationship because they want different things, realizing that is maturity

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>>17872237
>It is perfectly normal to not include your SO in your social life

Ahahahahahahaha

This is the best shit i've ever read

>>17872370
>Talk to her.
Jesus christ you dense bitch.

What is he supposed to say beyond what he already said? Holy fuck this thread is turning me into a misogynist.

>>17871522
you sound like you don't even like spending time with him. why are you with him?

>>17869643
>he saw the Instagram on my phone and noted that my ex's profile was up there on the suggestions, above his. I don't know why this happened, I swear.

So, OP is still in contact with an ex she cannot forget on top of ditching the bf for her friends

Bet this ex knows where OP is and she is chatting with him

>>17872575
>If he's mature enough, he will do as I wish

Fuck off.

>>17872717
I am not in contact with him and I haven't visited his profile in months, I seriously don't know why it appeared.

Also to answer everyone else in this thread: I love him and this is my first serious relationship, the first time I seriously committed to someone in my life, he was my first everything. I really do like him and think he has a lot of qualities.

>>17872722
>my first serious relationship
And it shows.

>>17872722
>the first time I seriously committed to someone in my life
You actually haven't done that yet. Committing to another person means that you take their happiness seriously, and COMPROMISE in order to find a balance that works for both of you.

>I seriously don't know why it appeared
You're one of THOSE bitches - at least you can really commit to a lie

>>17872722
>the first time I seriously committed to someone in my life
But you haven't committed at all

>>17872722
your ex that you are still hung up on was your first

>>17872722
>in months
right. one month, two months but you have been together with this guy you call a bf, whom you rarely see for 7 months so for most of the time you were dating most of your interaction was with the ex and why he is above your bf's

>>17869643
TL;DR Do whatever the fuck you want, but realize that your boyfriend can too. We're all living in the same world, and we're all playing by the same rules.

OP, you're entitled to go on this trip with your friends as long as you're capable of funding the whole thing. If it's your time and money, do as you'd like. The same goes for your relationship. You can do whatever you'd like: your boyfriend doesn't get to control you.

Likewise, though your boyfriend isn't necessarily *paying* for your relationship, he's entitled to invest as much or as little time and money as he wants into your relationship, and he's entitled to react however he's going to react to anything that you decide to do on your own.

If the idea of your trip with your friends is making him upset, and you're not willing to address his feelings in a way that he's happy with, then he's entitled to break things off. Likewise, you're entitled to break things off if you think he's being ridiculous. I can only imagine how annoying it must be to have a really clingy, possessive SO.

You really shouldn't feel bad about taking some time for yourself, OP. Everyone needs it. If you want to stay with your boyfriend, have fun, then do your best to explain to him why you needed time away, or whatever drove you to pursue this trip. If you're not trying to escape from him for a bit, make that explicit, because he'll appreciate it. If you are, then try to be nice about it if you're interested in continuing the relationship. Explain where things went wrong when you can, and when you can't, don't worry about it. Everyone's crazy.

>>17872722
Nice dubs

So if you say you "really do like him" then do you think the stuff with him feeling you spend no time with him was all in his head? Maybe so only you and him know. Either way you should either break up or try to quell his doubts by spending time with him