Having second thoughts about a relationship- and MORE!

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i stayed over her house a few times and we had sex. it was underwhelming but it was fine (i had never been with a girl before). obviously, i had become used to things being a certain way, sexually, from my previous relationship. it would take some getting used to, i told myself. another important point is that i have never connected well with girls, and any friendships i've had with girls have invariably failed. let's say i have a difficult time trusting them and relating to them for some reason.
Mimi told me a couple of weeks (or so) later that she had never felt so strongly and so quickly about anyone before, and that even she was taken by surprise at how much she had fallen for me. i was bolstered by this; flattered to say the least. but I could not honestly say the same thing. i certainly was surprised at how quickly i'd fallen for her in may, but that was it really. nevertheless it made me feel much warmer toward her and that month was excellent. we were a very affectionate couple and spent a great deal of time together- and the sex was getting better.
around november i began to notice things. i hated how Mimi wasn't herself in public, and that she tried really hard to be "cute and quirky". for example, she would draw dots under her eyes with makeup and dress sort of strangely on purpose. personally i love to use makeup and express myself but i got the vibe that she wasn't being true to herself and trying to be someone she wasn't. it really bothered me. i talked to her about it and she said that she tries to be likeable. i told her she doesn't have to because i like her enough already. (cont)

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i noticed a change within myself in mid-november. i was often very moody (or had surprising and exhausting mood swings) and hated looking at Mimi and speaking to her. i purposely tried to hurt her feelings sometimes. there was a part of me that didn't really believe it when she told me she loved me. she was so passive in comparison to my loud and slightly posessive ex. i told myself to stop comparing Mimi and my ex but i couldn't help it.
i wasn't moody all the time, but this month i have noticed that i've been like this a lot more than i've been happy. on monday i ignored her, and on tuesday (13th) i told her (quite spitefully) that we shouldn't see each other. seeing her get upset was satisfying, and it actually surprised me to see she cared so much. later on, i regretted what i had said, and took it back over a long call. we saw each other this thursday and i couldn’t bring myself to smile at her. she asked to hold my hand and hug me but i didn't want it. i don't understand what's gotten into me!
last night, i was looking at her snapchat story because it was her birthday. she went out with some of her friends. i didn't go because i had to catch a flight… and also to upset her. i understand that what i'm about to say might sound horrible, but on her pictures she looked so slutty and i was furious. it made me so angry. who is she trying to seduce? i was disgusted with her.
so… /adv/… i can give more info if you need, but what i want to know is:
should i break up? can i work through my feelings? are they irrational? am i still hung up on my ex?
sorry it was so long. thanks everyone

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>>17868704
You really seem to hate her, do you actually still like her?
I mean, if you completely disagree with and are kind of offended by those two phrases then maybe you should just stop and think through everything, and make a rational decision out of it.
If however, you have come to hate her ( which it sure seems like you do, looking at the third part post ) then you should just break up.

>>17868826
there are parts of me which hate her but i love the attention she gives me, and feeling loved.
im not offended and i dont even completely disgaree... i just feel like i havent given the relationship enough of a chance.

>>17868704
You can't get rid of your feelings, but you can channel them to constructive ends. If you are willing to get a bit kinkier in bed, you can indulge your desire to "hurt" Mimi while also spicing up your sex life while deepening your relationship instead of tearing it apart.

>>17868892
haha i see what you're saying, but i'm definitely submissive. i wouldnt want to actually physically hurt her or RP with her. thank you, though.

>>17868948
If you are that submissive and she is so passive in bed in addition to all the other problems, it's probably not going to work out.

But if you want to play around with your doomed relationship, giving her a spanking and making her admit she's your little slut can be therapeutic.

>>17869035
she's actually not passive in bed. she's just passive in every other aspect.

>>17869056
Hmm. Maybe you're being passive aggressive because you want her to take more control and punish you for it?

>>17869104
that sounds accurate.
i just want to stop feeling the way i do and have a healthy relationship. i dont wanna give up just yet.

>>17869142
I know women always want their partners to read their minds but you should probably just tell her "I need more affection/attention/discipline/etc to be kept in line."

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>>17869254
...is it really as simple as that?
you're a guy, right? if your gf just straight up told you that, how would you react?

>>17868704
Thanks for the boner.

>>17869377
what did it for you?