Vent Thread: The Real Deal

This is, as far as I remember, the first time that I really saw her in a sexual light. I spent all night just thinking of possibilities that may come to pass when we get together.

Just us laying in her bed after our date, with her covered in cum.

This was strange as fuck.

At work, I saw a woman that looked EXACTLY like the girl I am into. Same fucking hair, body type, nose, skin tone, eyes. Everything was the same. Except she was Around 40 or so, compared to the 20 year old that I am Into.

So weird

I want to have sex with Data from Star Trek. Like I used to have fantasies about kissing him a lot and raising cats together.

I go on /soc/, kik a local girl, she's fucking rude.

Tired of running into stupid women, tired of running into ignorant women, tired of running into drug addicted women, tired of running into girls that are way too young and look much older, TIRED. OF. THIS. SHIT.

>>17868908

>nomenclature

Well. Almost that day. The day that I'll find out if she was serious with her response, or if it was to just shut me up.

Every thinks that she is kinda serious. But I still have my doubts

>socially awkward foreveralone
>meet girl through mutual friend
>we get on really well, have a lot of playful banter
>she leaves and adds me on normiebook, think things look good
>nothing to say to start a conversation and ask her out

Guess I'm going to just overthink things, miss my chance and regret it later on. Same as ever...

>>17869297
You sound like mopey and defeated like Eeyore.

I am tired of being myself, and even though I want to change I just stand there not even complaining, just accepting the fact that I'm not doing shit. Every time I start doing something, I spiral back into nothingness, and sometimes it actually makes sense to me. I'm just so fucking tired of living in a world so fucking full of shit that I see no possible scenario in which life is qualitatively better. I know this is just my shit subjective view of things, but I can't help but feel sick at the thought that I live in a world where succeeding means to fit into this sick fuckfest of human exploitation. I don't mean to blame my failure on society or anything like that, I just fail to see a really guilt free fulfilling life in this shit, and even though sometimes I just wish I could live apart from all this mess, I would just feel like a coward for abandoning things like this. I know I have no obligation to fix it in any way either, but I spent all my life in this, so I feel like it's a lose-lose scenario for me. Either I conform or cower. What the fuck?

>>17869349
Also, is there anyone out there who sees absolutely no point in doing anything because living in this world literally means being inserted in a world full of shit? I know I could focus on doing some good like saving lives and shit, and even though causing quantitative change in the world could somehow cause some butterfly effect kind of thing where maybe my efforts turn out to help the world become a better place qualitatively in the long run (e.g. my actions contribute to triggering a series of events that put an end to a type of structural flaw in "muh system") I just can't help but think it's fucking impossible when I look at how things are. I have managed to overcome the existential dread of thinking nothing matters, but things are looking so disgusting from where I'm standing that global change seems impossible and local change seems irrelevant.

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>>17868156
On the scale of 1-10, how butthurt will you be tomorrow when the Electoral council votes for Trump?

We've been dating for three months, and you still say that you don't know if you want a relationship with me.

I think I know what your answer really is. You're fine being with me in public, but you want us to hide from our roommates. You completely ignored me when you met your ex on the trolley - you didn't even introduce me.

Just tell me. Just tell me that I'm not good enough.

>>17868156
I'm fucking STUPID.

I should have unfriended her and her stupid cunt asshole boyfriend months ago, but noooooo, I just love rub the salt in the wound and check on their facebook feeds every so often and get riled up at her liking his statuses.

Somebody just please slit my throat and let a rabid dog fuck the wound until I'm dead. Maybe then I'll fucking learn.

>>17869462
...I think you misread that, bucko.
I like Trump better than Hillary, is what I was getting at.

>>17869532
Oh, sorry m8

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i guess i'm just not worth it, in term of physical appareance and personality.

Right now i have a crush on a female friend of mine, confessed to her in a "i know when a battle is already lost so i wont bother you with it but i'm just lettin you know" kind of way.
She's 25, almost 26, she's dating a 20-21 years old guy with an absolutely boring personnality, so i'm forcing myself to think that she's just immature (and in all honesty, she's kind of), that she's not very smart, she's shallow, i'm trying to focus my mind on her flaws to stop liking her but it's not very effective.

Everytime i see her my heartbeat rise a little, she's a 6/10 but i see her as really beautiful, i like big tits she have small ones but damn, i just love the way she move, the way she laugh, the way she say something kind, when she have this pouty face sometimes etc.

It's the first time i feel attracted to a girl that way since my breakup with my ex 2 years ago, i thought that, maybe it could work but no, she just see me as a friend, i can't blame her, i'm not attractive, i have plenty of things to give, plenty of passion, many adventurous things to live with someone, but she's just not attracted, period.
I feel so disappointed, so useless, why it's always me who have a crush on someone ? Why i desire to love and be loved so much ? Why can't i just love myself and that's it, let the love come naturally ?
I don't know, i guess i'm just unlucky with thoses kind of things.

Yeah, you might figure that i'm not very confident with my look, and i KNOW that's not attractive, but how can i be confident when i KNOW that i don't please the opposite sex eyes ? When NOBODY compliment me on my looks, when nobody WANT me, when nobody want to love me and give me everything like i'd give everything to the person i'd love ?

It's hard. I will survive, obviously, but loneliness is really a cancer hard to beat.

How to job?
I tried all normal means (in person and online, asking for recommendations etc) and I haven't had a job for over a year. I'm losing hope here.

>>17868908
That feel

>>17869417
>Also, is there anyone out there who sees absolutely no point in doing anything because living in this world literally means being inserted in a world full of shit?
of course man. Like calls to like. A lot of us here can relate to that. You don't have to save the world. Do what you can to make it a better place to whatever extent your influence has reach over, be good to those around you and express gratitude for that which is good around you, and to those whom are good, and that'll be enough.

Find fulfillment in creation and development and growth. Ground your fears in practicality and preparedness. Learn from your fuckups. Be ever mindful you don't fall into the trap of thinking doing something you know is wrong but doing it for the right reasons somehow makes a wrong action into a good deed. Be honest with yourself. Cultivate integrity. You'll be honest in your dealings with others without getting walked over.

Learn to enjoy the moment. Enjoy being present in whatever's happening /now/. Sounds like hippie trash maybe but even broken clocks are right twice a day. You've got to make sure you're letting your life leave its impression on you. The hippies were spot on with the awareness stuff. If you do everything with your focus on what this is going to mean in the grand scheme of things later on looking back at it all, you're going to be shooting yourself in the foot and you won't realize it until you get to the point where you actually can look back. You don't wanna focus on reaching one particular moment only to discover that not focusing on each moment leading up to it has left the whole journey feeling sorta empty and meaningless.

Finding yourself a nice boy/girl and falling in love with each other helps a lot also to chase away the "all this shit is pointless" feels. That gets overestimated as much as it gets underestimated.

>>17869697
Thank you.

>>17869206
it was mostly my fault for talking to her, i admit.. my life is pretty lonely.. so, i guess this vulnerability led to my desperation and poor choices..

i cheated on my bf and he found out. i honestly don't know how to cope with this. i just want to die

>>17869921
It's unfortunate that you didn't tell him yourself and that someone else did. That is the absolute worst way for a partner to find out about infidelity.

Apologize and accept whatever happens next, but do it genuinely. Do not turn it around on him or make him out to be the bad guy because he's angry. He has all right to be angry at you.

Learn from your mistakes and grow as a person. This is not the end of your life but a chance for personal growth. Do the mature thing and apologize emphatically and without any restraint.

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I've spent this year too focused on a girl that has little to no interest in me, sometimes even as a friend.
With the new year coming soon, I want to go back to school and apply to a better job. Focus on me, you know?
But I forgot how annoying and depressing job applications and job hunting can be. And I feel really lazy going back to my old CC for a second degree.

Not sure why it hurts me so much that you don't enjoy playing video games with me. I sure am retarded. But that doesnt mean it doesnt still hurt.

Tomorrow is the last time i ask though. Im already fucking nervous.

i hate this state. everyone here is a fucking lizard.

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The only reason I stuck around was to be with you. All I've wanted to do since i met you was to be with you. Then you have to go and tell me this shit. You still have feelings for him. I'm not the one you want. I'm not the one you need. Be with him. Not me.

Lmao

I can't make anyone happy.
I have been ignored and flaked on more in a month than I have in a year just trying to speak to people.

Now, one is mad at me, for what reason, I can't even imagine. I don't even want to read, I don't want to do anything, I just want to know what is wrong with me. It's not like I'm incredibly boring. I have had phone numbers thrown at me. I have been called. I make them laugh. I just cannot think of any reason, because I've tried everything I can think, and it seems like people like me one day, then just disappear.

I don't know how to feel about it, so I'm just confused, today I'm feeling like shit. What in the world am I doing wrong?

>>17868156
I have no fuckin clue what I want to do with my life. All I have is this little test that says all the jobs I would be happy doing. I don't want to be spending another 3 years in college wasting my time just to realize I can't make it or I don't want to be doing that job. I'm definitely not smart enough to get through college courses but I don't want to be stuck in a shit apartment making 20k a year. Shit is fucked.

Fucking tired of everyone walking all over me, my girlfriend treating me like shit, and my dumbass fucking friends who can't understand shit. I'm tired of everything. All I want is to be alone

>>17870165
You're seeking validation from other people and you're most likely a people pleaser. Stop it; work on yourself, make yourself happy. Don't rely on others to bring you happiness.

my mom has stopped talking to me after our last fight a week ago, and knowing how she is she probably wont talk to me for the rest of our lives. is thanks to my dad that she hasnt kicked me out yet, and i'm not sure if i can find a job right next year even tho i really can't see myself living in this house anymore.

even tho i know it wasn't my fault, i'm sure IF she wants to talk about it she'll trick me into apologizing "or else". even her "last words" to me were how much guilty i'll feel when she dies

>>17870032
You're telling me, but I'm in a certain extremely-liberal, Mediterranean desert state filled with oranges. Call me a bearded lizard or an iguana.

I want to get the fuck out of here and move to Texas, Oregon, even fucking Washington. Although I know my scumbags will follow me soon after I go there.

This is the burden we lizard people bear. As we lead on, so too, do our comrades follow. As we move, they move with us, contaminating what beauty that one state had.

>>17869206
No dude, you're okay

I am feeling that exact same thing right fucking now, it is not just you

I'm dealing with this autist right now who is whining about feeling too fat but wants more pictures of me and won't even Skype but she wants an email and to text but I can't ask about what is bothering her


I am quite literally done with the internet, in all honesty. The internet is now worse than actually meeting random people on the street. I can actually have some feedback from people.

We've been dating for 4 month, and she is the most beautiful, loving and caring person I have ever met. However her parents are the most vile people I have ever seen. They are constantly abusive to her, both mentally and physically. Her dad would yell at her daily, call her a good for nothing slut and refuses to let her see me because, according to him, she is not worthy, and if I see her to often I will get annoyed by her. Earlier today she asked him if he had seen her shirt, which sparked a huge argument, he started yelling at her. He would then come upstairs to her room every couple of minutes just to yell at her. Unfortunately this is a very frequent occurrence. He also constantly calls her fat, which is absolutely not true. This is probably cause by the fact that he has bulimia himself. At least he is not as physically abusive as he used to be. Her mom however, is even worse. She is a functioning alcoholic, and is also extremely controlling. She gets pissed off whenever my gf leaves the house even for a minute. She refuses my girfriends any sort of privacy and constantly goes through all the stuff in her room. She tries to make my gf dependent on her. She refuses to let her get a job or sign the FAFSA. In addition, they took away all the money she had saved up over the years. Add verbal abuse that's just as extreme, if not more so, as her dad's. It boggles my mind how people this fucked up can even exist. We signed up for therapy at out university, but I doubt it's gonna help as long as she keeps living in that house. But if she moves out she won't be able to afford her tuition. She has a secret bank account but it doesn't have nearly enough funds to cover both the housing and the tuition. Dropping out wouldn't be very smart either, since her program is very competitive and esteemed.

C,
Why is your answer to making me feel better to send me pictures of you smiling? I've explained to you that seeing pictures of you just rubs salt in the wound and you keep doing it. You told me to move on two years ago when you solidified that you weren't leaving your partner and now when I do move on you freak out at me and don't talk to me for a week? And then you keep pushing me to get all cutesy with you and send me dirty pictures and make me look at you all day long? Fuck off. I wish I hated you enough to out you to your partner for being such a fucking scumbag.

P,
I love you, I always have and I always will. But if you make me listen to you talking about how butthurt you are over your ex still even though we're together I'm going to leave you. I don't want to hear about how you hate the idea that she's going down on someone else, or about how you thought she was beautiful despite it all, and I definitely don't want to hear about all the memories you have with her. Move the fuck on. Nevermind that you get girls numbers "just to prove that you can" when I'm over a thousand miles away and can't even be jealous about it because we're fucking adults. If we're going to be together we have to behave like adults, this isn't high school anymore. I want to be able to feel like I can talk to you about things without feeling like I'm imposing on you or something and I know you don't mean it to feel that way but it does.

Mom,
Fuck off. If you're going to up and disappear when we need you here the most then don't come back. Don't come back if you're going to spend all your time with a man that spent 12 years beating you and trying to have sex with your kid. I heard what you said at Thanksgiving, that if I hadn't been there you would have invited him. Don't talk to me like everything is fine, don't text me as the middle man between you and grandma. Don't fucking talk to me, don't look at me, and don't ask me for shit

tl;dr everybody go away

I can't stop loving my ex even after having sex with several girls and talking to even more girls. Countless times I've tried and the only thing that gets her off my mind is drinking cough syrup but that's only for like 15 hour

Julia I have no idea whats going on through your head but its killing me now. At least say something

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We were together for only a moment. I wanted so desperately for him to love me the way he loved her. He wanted her so badly. She played with him for so long. I don't really know what I expected at the start, I just wish that I had been more cautious. Failing that, I wish I hadn't taken him back. Then it would be him that was sore, and not me. There's a burning in my chest for him that I'm trying to freeze, but I'm afraid of being numb. Then again, I think being numb would be better than feeling this.

Love is such a fickle thing.

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>>17870459

Sometimes I wish that my friends were less pretty and talented.
I love them, and they're mostly great people.
I just can't help my self-esteem taking a nose dive when I see all the amazing things they've done, and how great they look while doing it all.
Being average isn't the end of the world, but it's not fun being the smallest fish in the biggest pond.
And I can't say anything about it to them, because then I'll be the needy dumb-ass who's fishing for compliments...
tl;dr
firstworldproblems

>>17870472
I didn't know I was the garlic bread until we were already dating. We dated a long time ago and got back together some 9 years later. So now I either deal with it or I break up and be the bigger piece of shit for leaving him when he's still sore.

>>17870416
You two should start working part-time to start scraping off some savings to get her out of that shit ASAP. Meanwhile, look for a friend's place where she can go to just to stay away from that shit, it's fucking important.

>>17870497
He's sore? Fuuuuck him, he sounds manipulative as fuck. I've been the garlic bread before, and if he's anything like my delivery boy, he's going to destroy you.

>>17870520
Her parents won't let her get a job. She has to pay around 20k/year for school, that's without housing or food. It's just not the kind of money you can make with a part time job, all while also keeping up with your academics.

>>17870522
He's recently sore from something she did, but they broke up in... July? So, he's had time to deal with it but then she did something really terrible and it brought out old feelings I think he hadn't dealt with yet.
Are there groups for recovering garlic bread baskets? Garlic bread makes a great meal if you put protein on it.

Caught in a mediocre marriage of convenience. Husband is jealous and selfish, but I have to wait a few more years to leave(can't say why). I have been in love with my best male friend for most of the time I've been married. But we couldn't ever have a serious relationship due to compatibility issues. How do I stop myself from getting into these no-win scenarios once I'm a free woman again?

Listen to the music of Max Richter

Fuckin good

Anyways, how do you deal with being fucking empty
I have on real destination inside
They say that people have dreams and longings
But I don't
When I graduated college, the speaker said a man without dreams is already dead

I've been dead for 20 years

I don't care
I've never cared

I'm upset because I'm out of money and also drunk
When sober, I generally want to be drunk again so I can feel emotions

I want to stop existing

>>17869206

man this shit right here. not looking on kik, but it seems every woman I meet has a fucking coke or drinking problem. Doesn't matter the age.

>>17869466

I just left a girl that treated me like shit. Imagine this for 3 years. Even after all the bullshit I would still take her back if she sounded sincere.

>>17870817
>I can't make my post interesting on an anonymous image board

>>17869547
kek i also have a crush, objectively she's a short pudgy 2/10 but something about her just activates the shit out of my almonds

but she's not interested in my rugged good looks

I love you but I've got so many doubts.
Why do you want so much fucked up sex? I'm tired, I don't want it anymore.
Why do you still have an active OkCupid account?
Why don't you like saying you love me?
In words it sounds so dumb and stupid but help me fuck

>that girl is really smart and nice
>and she's pretty
>oh wait, that's just the make up. she's not pretty
I end up friendzoning every girl because i put so much value into physical attraction and girls only make themselves look pretty with makeup. I have mental problems.

The thought of cheating on you crossed my mind with the most disgusting person. Does that tell you enough how much I need regular sex you fucking faggot? Sort your dick out man this is getting tiresome.

>Sort your dick out
How do you expect me to do this?

I have become the scum of the earth. I have done the worst things to the person I love the most. Even worse? I want them to take me back. I have ruined our first Christmas in our own home. I fucking ruined everything. I just want to go home.

I don't hate you for following your heart towards someone else, but all that you did in the end sucked
You broke things off after spending weeks convincing me that this wasn't going to end poorly
Did you really have to do end this shit over text? You couldn't have called me at least fucking once during that week?
You told me you were crushing on me
You told me that this was going to be fucking amazing
Even after you broke things off, you told me you didn't want me to say goodbye
I didn't either, I adore your company, regardless of how little I get
You said you didn't have time that Saturday to go on a date with me, but you had time to hang out
with him? I could've easily hung out with you at any time
You told me you didn't talk to him anymore
You didn't need to lie to me and pretend you didn't want any guys in your life
I don't need you to protect my feelings
If you wanted to be with him and not me then that would've been okay
If you didn't want to talk to me because you were with him I would've been okay
I would've understood
But you did all these mental gymnastics
For what? To keep me around for 3 more weeks just so that you could get me to fuck off again?
I wouldn't have thought less of you. If anything, you trying to spare my feelings is worse
I'm a grown ass man, I don't need or want to play games
And even when I was still happy with being a friend to you, you cut things off altogether
I know I got annoying towards the end, but you told me you cared about me so many times
Do you really just drop someone altogether when you "care" about them?
I didn't need you to return my feelings in the end, I just cared about you and wanted a friend I could go to for whatever
When you told me to piss off, you took that friend away from me
Even my ex never lied about any of the shit she did to me, and she fucked another guy

>>17870986
and now I'm the one who loses
I'm a fucking mess now
I'm the one whos looks like a creepy fuck who writes 10 paragraph fucking essays to a girl who never liked me at all
You didn't lose shit, what did you lose? You're out there with the ex who hurt you, while I'm the one drinking to avoid thinking of you
By the way I threw the whole straight edge thing out the window because of you,
thanks for fucking with my head so much I dropped the one thing that made me admirable
I wish I never met you
I should've never helped you the day mike wasn't there
I should've never let you sit with my friends to avoid jj
I should've never let you dig away at me
I should've never told you I liked you
I should've never asked for your number
I should've never let you sweet talk me
I should've never tried to be your friend
I should've never let myself fall in love with you
Yeah that's still a thing, I'm still in fucking love with you
I can't change the way I feel about your horrible ass, right now I swear to god I could but I can't
I'm desperately in fucking love with someone who stepped all over me and my feelings
I worship the ground you walk on
I'm in love with someone who threw me away the second she could be back together with her piece of shit ex
You even told me the week before you broke us off that "oh its nothing that other couples haven't gone through before", whatever dude
That's why your whole "hurr I don't got time to date" sounded like bullshit
I swear to god I hope I can get over your ass, because I'm killing myself the second I realize that I can't get over you
Why you? Why the fuck am I tearing myself into pieces for you? Who are you?
We only knew each other for two months, how did I end up loving all your lies and all your poor actions that have don't nothing but hurt me

>>17870987
You left me with nothing
I had nothing before, but I didn't care I was pretty happy
But you filled that nothing with hope and love and ripped it all away from me
and even though you did, I fucking love you so god damn much
I know fuck well that you will never feel for me the same I feel for you
So I'm fucking stuck with my heart in between your hands in a fucking vise grip
I would give up everything I have and care for just to be with you
I would do more than tear myself to pieces for you

>>17870948
stop looking at porn

Ignoring you is like ignoring the weather.

i feel so guilty i might throw up any second.

>>17870974
god, i know that feeling all too well. kill me now...

i wish i wasn't so fucked up.

>>17871528
I spent all morning throwing up. IBS is seriously the fucking worst and turns out is EXTREMELY common with my mental illness. Turns out when your brain is firing neurons randomly all fucking day your entire nervous system get's fucked up as well. The stomach has more nerve endings than any other part of the body.

Fucked up head = fucked up stomach.

Hell, with it baby cause you're mine and you're fine and your lips so divine
Come and get your love

: 3

Beautiful girl eye-fucks me at work.

I mean, I'm an autistic piece of shit, who, every-time I've ever though someone might actually like me - was horrendously wrong - to the point I stopped trying.
But even I'm getting these signals.

I mean, it's not normal behaviour to stare at someone all the time, or look them right in the eyes and stare as you walk past. Is it?
I'm starting to like her too.

Or am I wrong and a creep again?
Either way, my only moves are the good old "stand around trying to think of something to say, suddenly brain stops working, so mutter "bye" and walk off" and "focus on the job and never ever ever look up".

Somewhere out there is the right thing to say, yet my goddamn brain can only tell me the one thing I shouldn't say; "So, would your family be mad if you dated a white guy, or what?"

I'm just really really sad and I don't want to be for my sake and the sake of people around me.

I have depression, social anxiety and very mild asperger's and am taking SSRIs.

I also have a huuuuuge crush on a retail girl that I don't know personally but being sad and scared to properly talk to her means I haven't gotten to know her and I don't know how I would do that.

I guess I'm just fucked up in a lot of ways. But I'm kinda in a weird mood tonight where I'm real down and sad but can think a little more rationally, but also wanna share with people a lot.

So thanks for making the thread. I wanna be friends with you people.

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I think it only hurts so bad because of how much we talked of missing each-other before. I understand that you're busy, but it's not just how infrequently and how little I get to speak to you now. It's how distant you are. What we used to discuss compared the the elevator chit-chat I can get out of you once every couple of days, it's upsetting.

I'm sorry if I'm a complication in your life, I thought with the situation changing that might be the case. I'd prefer if you told me that was the case though, because right now every time I see a new message from you I get such butterflies in my stomach I feel like I'm a high school junior again.

Not that things between us were ever romantic, and for good reason. Maybe I'm over-reacting, I often do, but it's hard to shake the feeling that you're just drifting away from me. I think this is what having a best friend feels like, and it's not a feeling I've ever had before.

I'm really going to miss it.

>>17871573
i usually have a stomach like a horse, but damn this got me good...

i hope you're doing better anon

urgh. my bf changed his whatsapp status, basically saying that he lost his paradise. he did that after he found out i was writing to another guy (it was only as friends but i still fucked up). nope, can't cope

Why didn't she just tell me?
I mean, I fucking caught her, I saw the messages, I fucking showed her her own messages she was sending to the other guys.

I showed her the pictures, I showed her everything! And she still couldn't look me in the face and apologize or admit to it. Deny, deny, deny. Just like your fucking step dad taught you.

God, it still fucking pisses me off, didn't even fucking stop. Why was I dumb enough to believe you the first time, that was it, that was your opportunity to knock it out.

Play it off though, of course you share that account with your friend, and she has a relationship with that guy.

No, of course she doesn't need her own account, she can just use yours, with your pictures, with your fucking text dialect to hit on these other guys.

I know you tried to make it up, but every little tiny bullshit lie you told after does nothing but fuel that fucking fire I can't put out. From the most innocent bullshit, that you have no reason to lie about in the first place, it brings every emotion back and staring me right in the face.

What else did she lie about, what else has she done, you wonder why there wasn't any trust, but never did anything to help it. Because, every time you did, you'd lie about something stupid, and irrelevant to anything

I failed one of my finals, and I haven't told anyone yet.

Haha, that can't be possibly right.

I feel like my boyfriend thinks I'm boring. All we do is netflix and sex, then he's tired and wants to sleep. He never does anything else with me. I've asked him to do something else, he just says he will, but never acts on it. Even when he tells me he used to do those things all the time with his ex.

i'm so fucking sad. I don't know if I'm just too clingy or not. I just feel useless.

>>17871866
I know.

Your realize that I have all kinds of ideas about what's going on and I have them tiered in my mind. From most likely to least likely.

I'll keep talking to you all though. I understand now why her tumblr has a login now.

how many have been watching?

I don't care if "not much happened while you were working". It's more "we all agreed to plans which specifically excluded you for no reason other than we could".

I want to watch a movie with a girl, get high, cuddle, listen to music, make love/fuck like animals when we feel like it and go for a walk in the night. Is that too much to ask?

I swear to God if you're going to ruin my holidays with your complaints, bad mood and passive-aggressiveness I'm going to fucking explode.

>>17871967
is this the queen of drama and passive aggressiveness speaking?

>>17870952
get em a cock pump

>>17871881
Go by yourself, tell him where you are, invite him. Go to a park or something.

If he doesn't feel like meeting you, something is wrong. Unless he's busy at work.

I just want to forget about you.
I only had two hours of sleep last night. I thought about you the moment I slept, I dreamt about you during my sleep and I thought about you the moment I woke up. I spend the rest of the day feeling miserable at work and constantly thinking about you. I never loved anyone as much as you and you won't even want to chat with me. Please help me forget about you, S. Before I lose my head.

So will you find out the test results soon? today or tomorrow? Or a month from now?

You can still visit me for Christmas for all kinds of snugs and love. Sex is not necessary. I won't pressure you or are you worried you just couldn't resist me? hehe : 3

A handy would be alright.

I love you, I miss you.
Remember, that's the only message you will hear from me. Anything else is a lie.

>>17871774
is it important other people should know?

If someone only refers to me by my pronouns during a conversation with just about anyone and never brings my name up, that isn't a good thing, right?

Saturday I had a very freaky dream. I was in this living room, but it's not the one I'm used to, yet I knew it was mine. I lived there.
And there was a long hallway. The place looked like it wasn't visited for a while, from all the dust.
And there were pictures of you/us thrown on the floor. They were everywhere, nearly covering the floor. The freaky part is that they looked old too, some where even torn. Some had your face scratched out. And the face on them..I couldn't reconize it. I knew they were you, call it dream logic. They were you but it wasn't your face there. And I knew this in the dream, but it didn't register this made no sense. I just looked at them and put them back where I found them.

On an unrelated note, I've taken the habit of drinking heavily every other day. No one's exactly pleased by this. Got drunk on friday, saturday and sunday. Granted the latter was from celebrating.

Sometimes I find out my friends talked to their acquintances, co-workers or something about me, like just telling funny anecdotes about what I did or about what we did together. It feels kinda nice that sometimes in conversations your friends randomly think of you and mention you. Well, as long as it's positive, I guess.

I've never seen a pair of tits irl.

>>17872145
I feel you anon. There is someone I still love and can't stop thinking about and it is so draining. It will get better I'm sure of that. I just keep telling myself it is for the best. Hope you sleep better later.

>>17869275
Well. Now I gotta actually message her, but my nerves are acting up.

I know it will go smoothly once we start talking, but that initial message is always a challenge for me.

I hate when people say "just get a job" as if it's that fucking easy. I'm tired of people acting like I don't want to work. I'm tired of filling out applications online and never getting any calls back. I'm tired of going into a store and being told that I need to apply online. I'm beginning to hate my family. My uncle who was really only support died on his birthday of a heart attack. I'm getting tired of politics and all the bullshit involved. Both parties are selfish pieces of shit who tell lies on a mass scale. I'm tired of people shilling for them instead of talking to people with different opinions and finding a common ground. I'm tired of LE EVIL SJW bullshit. I'm tired of HURR DURR EVERYTHING IS SEXIST bullshit.

I'm just tired, guys.
Very very really tired.

Please contact me.

You know what is going on, you know what you did to me. So do I now. I am being caged for a reason after all. You found out last friday didn't you? I love you no matter what. That is not why I want to be with you and would never effect my decision. Is that why you're afraid?

Is that why everyone is ignoring me? Waiting for you to tell me?

It's ok. I forgive you, I do. It's just one more thing I get to tell a story about.

I won't tell anyone else. No one will know that doesn't have to know. Is this why my family is all pissy? Fuck them.

Is that why my brother is acting like a cunt?

Talk to me. It's alright. Follow your heart and nothing else. You know me, every part of me. It is me, isn't it?

>>17872335
Have you heard the song Black Leaf?

>>17872378
Second time around?

Did I do this to her?

Is this why all these people hate me? Is this why... because of...

The rashes on my hands. I thought they were allergic reactions or poison ivy. The zits/sores on my shin I thought were from my cat clawing me. The pain in my stomach... the nausea all the time... The weight loss...

did I do this to IL as well?

was it because of...

you all hate me don't you?

someone talk to me...

>>17872277
This is is what you could do apply online next day or two days, go visit the place you applied, ask to talk to the manager and talk to them about a possible interview.

>>17872468

That'd be a waste of time. Major stores and companies don't read their own job applications. They have a 3rd party do it for them.

>>17872402

Hahahahaha what.

So you're diseased or some shit?

>>17871967
woops too late already did it

>>17872227

I do this when I can't remember someones name.

Whether or not that's a good or bad thing is down to your perceptive.

>>17872482
How the f am I supposed to get hired!????

I dont care that they clog my colon i fucking love Doritos and I will never stop eating them

>>17872587
And I'm going to make a dorito Pepsi smoothie

I don't get why this girl and I never call each other by any name. Nickname or legal.

Nothing. Its just "Hey" and thats it

I'm so sorry, A.
Right now I'm on 2 antidepressants, one antipsychotic and I did ecstasy this weekend two nights in a row. I don't really know what I'm feeling and what I am. I wish I could undo everything that I've done. I wish you would lead a happy life.

>>17872500
fuck if I know man.

My legs are either bug bites or claw marks from my cat (I sit cross legged, she digs into my legs) or skin rash from disease.

I get poison ivy like marks on my hands but I handle plants all the time.

I have stomach issues since middle school.

I might be. Who the fuck knows.

I have a plan to get tested... so...

The fact she is still ignoring me makes me feel a bit safer. I mean, what kind of person wouldn't tell someone that shit?

>>17872610
Who did you do those drugs with? You've been having sex with them this entire time?

You were going to visit me weren't you but they filled your head with more bullshit, right?

talk to me.

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I gave in and broke my no coworker rule and now my work life is going to be tremulous. This was a bad idea.

Oh, please. We both know you don't actually love me. Why miss me? Because you're bored? You told me I didn't mean shit to you. You made your bed now sleep in it

>>17870382
yeah, this is the state to fry your brains out.
and i know exactly what you're talking about.
i hate living in tweaker nation.

>>17872653
Exactly. Fuck P. He's a little bitch and the reason why we have had so many issues in our relationship. He has spent more time trying to convince you I'm no good for you then he has that you loved him.

Seriously. Why do you keep associating with him? Why? I understand your disorder gives you a twisted view on past relationships, makes you want something more the less you can have it. Why do you think he would always try to convince you that you didn't have a mental illness?

It's because he was manipulating you. If he convinced you that wasn't the case, that I am just insane... then he will be that logical, loving, objective person. The kind of person you love.

Not the violent psychopath that tears up shit and hits you.

I would never do that to you. Ever.

He is the one fucking up my computer. One of them that is. He is the one that has been stealing my loving words to you and making them his own. Making it so I can't talk to you through skype, email, whatever.

That guy is a piece of shit. Please darlin, drop ALL contact with him. Just stop talking to him please. We would be so happy and loving together if he wasn't around.

How many times has he used you? Promised you second chances and then disappeared? How many times did he want to be with you just because his crazy ex-fiance learned about you?

it's him trying to convince you I am crazy. That I am lazy. That I don't have a mental illness myself. Why listen to him? Why? He has done so much fucked up shit to you while I have been nothing but honest, loving, and loyal.

you would be with me RIGHT NOW wouldn't you? If not for him?

Why do you think he's hiding in the shadows? Playing his mind games? Because he's the only one that knows that side of you?

That side of you doesn't exist. That side of you was him fucking with you. You have a conscious. You feel guilt for your actions. He doesn't. HE'S a psychopath.

You're a good woman surrounded yourself with shit people...

I love you.

and I realize those posts where you say things meant for the two of us...

You have been doing that for such a long time. For multiple people. Why? What's the point? You don't think I didn't notice? How you would add a kitty face next to it?

You did it on here even.

The prism. The stars. The Boss.

Other tricks involve switching the gender, using middle initials, last letters of their name, slightly altering how old you are or how long you've known someone.

Also whatever they are telling people to make them no longer talk to me... I guarantee it's out of context. Probably me screaming WHORE. and other shit while crying or freaking the fuck out. I have stayed up for days at a time. I freak out. I have anger issues... really really bad anger issues.

But I am not violent. I wouldn't harm a woman ever. I wouldn't act out in anger against someone that was just being human. It feels good to let out a roar every now and then. Better than keeping it inside.

I have been tortured mentally and emotionally for months now. All things considered, I've been taking it well. They also have my accounts so who the fuck KNOWS what they have been sending people.

Anyone that knows me or has seen me play Battlefield games knows how competitive I am. Knows how frustrated I get. I get maaaadddddddddddd.

I have been working on it though. A lot.

I super want to know what they are showing people.

Someone send it to me please. Fuck, POST IT. Unless it's nude photos of people or something illegal. Like I said before, I would put my name to anything I have said my entire life.

>>17872222
I really want to stop hurting.

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>>17868156
if I could just loose my virginity I feel like ill be a lot happier. It the only aspect of my life that im truly bothered by. Once Ii get that out of the way Ill feel more like a man.
Im 21, and im really self counsious that im still a virgin.. Ive heard the whole
>dont worry about, it, it'll happen, make sure its with somebody special
but I just want to be done with it. I feel like i missed out on the early teenage sex times of being 17-19, so now im really embarrassed. The only comfort I have is venting and hearing from others like me so I dont feel so alone. Im going to put myself out there at school this semester because if Im still a virgin in a few years I wont try to pursue it anymore. By that point ill feel like it truly doesn't matter and im a loser so I'll take my sweet ass time with it

>>17872778
Tell us what the final was and how you failed it.

Tell the person that is most important to you.

Was this final stopping you from being able to spend christmas with someone?

Tell them. Talk to them.

>>17872691

Who are you?

>>17872817
It wasn't hard. My mind was foggy at the moment, and I screwed up one of the sections.

I'm sick and tired of /adv/ being broken.

Everyone is going to ignore my post, because the only people who actually read venting posts are the NSA and the FBI.

>>17872846
Stop being hoe-bags then.

>>17872859
lol so nsa and fbi totes fo sho. what up?

oh my god...

I got you arrested, didn't I? I... I thought they would ask if I wanted to press charges first. I thought they would... let me know what was going on.

Oh my god... that's what this all is. I'm so sorry. I tried to give you so many opportunities. I tried to let you know I was going to submit the claim but if you would let me know if you were doing the hacking that's all I wanted to know.

Why wasn't I asked about any of this? Why doesn't anyone tell me?

Did she get a felony? Can she no longer live in canada or the USA? Is that...

Her friend was talking about the FBI stuff out of nowhere and I told her that I just wanted her to talk to me about it. Was it her lawyer's...?

Is it her dad that's attacking me because he's angry?

What about J? Did he cover himself?

How long will she be in prison? 4-5 years?

I'm so sorry... I didn't think that would happen. Does she hate my guts now? Does she hate everything about me?

Is she in the local prison? In a psych ward?

I'm... I'm not going to... omg...

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I'm tired of women on 4chan. They have no business being here. They only seem to want orbiters, and to derail this already dead site. And if I dare say anything about it, they'll just make some smug remark about wearing hats or make allegations that I browse. oards that they don't like.
I speak for all men in saying that we don't respect your opinion, and at the most we'll just orbit you.

>>17872861
No, i mean literally broken. I keep getting "file not found (404)" when clicking on images and "connection error" when updating a page or trying to post through the reply to thread popup.

Other 4chan boards work fine.

>>17872877
Do you know how to type without starting your sentences like new paragraphs?

>>17872891
no

I don't.

Bitch about it.

>>17872877
Seriously guys. Is this what happened?

Did she try to kill herself after she was arrested? Her dad paid her bail and... the trial was last friday? Did she plan on killing herself? Was JB going to do it? Because... of the...

Is she protecting me? That if the others found out they would attack me? Or is she afraid I would sue her father for everything?

Please, tell me darlin. Tell me where you are. If you're in a psych ward or prison or wherever. Or if you're dead from the cancer.

I would visit you if you would even want to see me. If you're at StJ then can you give me your security code? So I can call?

I would like that. I'm sorry if I caused you this much pain. I love you I truly do. Why wouldn't you just admit to the hacking? I never would have submitted the claim...

>>17872888
It might be your ad block that blocks the adv shortcut because it has ad in it.

>>17872953
or...

CRAZY THEORY TIME INCOMING.

Are you guys trying to get me fucking thrown into the same institution as her? That you're trying to get us together by making me think I'm all super paranoid and the only one to be with her is to get locked up in the same place?

Are they co-ed like that even? Well... I guess they are. The one in FL was. They watch you like hawks though so no happy sexy times. But good fucking GOD would I love to spend my days with her. I would get locked up so fucking fast if it meant I could spend all day in her company.

>>715833735
i just got out of my shitty ass job. the entire fucking day this girl kept nagging to me about how i don't smile and don't talk to her, and she is going to do this probably every day. she's like "we're gonna be friends this year! why don't you smile or talk, like seriously" because i keep to myself. maybe if you would actually start an actual conversation instead of fucking annoying me then i'd actually talk to you. i involuntarily smirk at her to make it less awkward. why the fuck can't people leave me alone man?

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>be hebephile
>sexual frustration
>must not act upon urges

My penis has a sad life

>>17872977
test

>>17872977
>>17873027
It appears you're correct. I didn't even think of that.
Curious though, that the adblock didn't cause a problem on other boards.

But now i have to deal with the stupid annoying clickbait adds. I miss moot.

One of the saddest moments of my life was about 3 years ago. I felt pretty alone and I was severely depressed. I'd spend most days crying, and something I'd do a lot is I would walk down to the beach at about 10pm and I'd just watch the water for a couple hours, think my sad thoughts, and go home. On the walk there I would pray that a car would hit me or that someone would kill me, and I sometimes thought about walking out into the ocean to drown.
At the time I lived with 3 of my friends. Whenever I left, they'd be in the lounge doing something or other. They'd never say goodbye when I left, ask where I was going so late, or even turn their heads. Not once.
One day I was sat on the beach, feeling like shit, and I heard footsteps on the rocks behind me and what sounded like my friend sighing. I was so hopeful in that moment because I thought they had somehow realised something was up and come to talk to me, but when I turned around there was nothing there. I don't know why I expected anything, but it still absolutely crushed me.

>>17868908
You're not alone. He is, after all, fully functional plus the gist of his character was that he was constantly endeavoring to understand and connect with humans, to the point of having an emotional chip.

Plus with that weird movie it's totally hinted that he could have the desire to do anything sexual and with him being an android he would obviously be extremely effective at it, just as he is with everything else.

Just to say you're totally not alone, Data is the only reason I watch TNG. Brent Spiner was quite an attractive man and Data was the fucking dream.

Well, I did message her to try cementing our "Not-date"

Didn't open with it, but thats where I'll go with it. But still. It's in motion, just need her to reply. But that won't happen tonight (Until atleast 10 pm or something?) Probably will reply to me tomorrow at around mid-day? But these next 18 hrs will be terribly long now.

Who told you this was a good idea? Who convinced you that to make me succeed you had to hurt me?

Telling someone "I don't believe in you at all." doesn't help. There is a reason dog trainers do not hit their animals. They reward them with treats to encourage good behavior.

Beating a dog will only make it fear you. Make it hide away in a dark corner afraid of more abuse.

Offer love, offer reward, and you will see improvement. Be positive, be good and you will receive the same.

Look at all I did for you. When you got with me, you hated yourself. You thought you were fat, ugly, and no one liked you. Through my loving words you now feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Like a true princess.

When you were down and out with your new job test, what did I do? Did I tell you that you were never going to make it and call your work shit? No. I encouraged you. I told you the truth. You were a wonderful artist and your art inspired me to create. That if you just tried your best the art directors would be able to recognize your skill despite the technical limitations.

You got the job.

If I called you an ugly whore... WHEN I called you a whore how did that make you feel? Like you were beautiful? or did you hate the world and wanted everyone to go away?

When I was mean to your art, what did you do? Did you feel like creating? Or like you weren't good enough?

I'm sorry for those things. I was trying to find meaning through hatred and I only ended up hating myself.

I love you. I love every piece of art you make. I love your beauty. Your beautiful eyes with aurora lashes above star filled glistening eyes. Your cute little button nose and luminous smile lights. Your tiny freckles so faint only the gaze of a true love would notice. Oh how I noticed...

It's going to be alright.

Tell me... do you love me?
Do you not love me?

Either way it is ok, it truly is. If the latter, I will be able to try and find a real love to refresh my indurated heart.

I'm scared I may have to go to therapy over a girl and I feel like a pussy because of it.

She completely wrecked my heart, it's been 5 months and I still haven't moved on. In fact I'm only getting worse.

I've done all the generic things you're supposed to do. I've done exercise, I've worked, I've gone out with friends regularly, I've kinda tried talking to new girls but that makes me really uncomfortable.

I think I'm struggling because everything is my fault. Our situation was really tough and different and I made a silly mistake due to a misunderstanding, and ended up really hurting her even though I never meant to. And I can't live with myself because of it.

She was my best friend.

My phone dictionary is still chock full of stupid puns involving your name. They keep accidentally coming up when I chat to other people.

Recently I cry, or come close to crying when people are rude or curt with me.

That bothers me on two levels, first I'm upset with the person, upset enough to cry.
Then I'm disappointed with myself for being weak.

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I've been sick for about 11 months but haven't gone to the doctor about it, because I thought I could handle it. Now I'm worrying and thinking what if this illness is just all in my head? I'm afraid that being true, because then I was feel retarded and crazy. I feel trapped, and I'm fucking myself over. Has anyone else here felt like this?

I wish girls would just stop wearing makeup.

one time on the street this guy with a head wound came up to me and was like 'excuse me, excuse me' and i just said 'sorry' and kept going on my way.
i try to justify it, i was on my way somewhere and taken by surprise - but it was pretty shitty of me not to help him.

>>17873138
Do you live in a region where crack heads shank people or did he just look like an injured dude?

>>17873041
You can customize your adblock to allow the picture and post shortcut.
Look up customizing for your specific adblock.

>>17873151
Thank you.

I feel like maybe r and j have actually been trying to help me here. To combat the hacking attempts.

J... dude... just fly here, pick me up, and let's just beat these pieces of shit to an inch of their life.

Seriously. I have a feeling you hated me at first but now my stubborn love you find admirable. Maybe even enlightening. I don't care if they are "cucking" my shit. She is incredibly impressionable, and her disorder is the cause. It's pretty clear these guys are abusive, manipulative, and shitty overall.

There is no posturing. No maneuvering. No chess. Only love.

They will get theirs eventually. That's the thing with people like that. They don't think all that far into the future.

>>17873169
Damn whats your story dude?

>>17873148
the area is ok but there's a lot of homeless people.

I still love her. Every girl from tinder I fuck is just to distract me from her and it doesn't even work. I'd rather her hurt me every day of my life then be happy even one more time. I don't know what it is about her. I never understood why people did hard drugs but christ if she was heroin I'd spend every day with a needle in my arm.

>>17873184
He's been spamming these threads rambling to himself and thinking everyone here is his ex and her friends. Shes moved on and wants nothing to do with him but he keeps justifying it. The other day she was pregnant, on her deathbed with cancer, and his brother was fucking her.
He's an absolute nut-job and there is not getting through to him. And you've just opened a can of shit by asking him. Welcome to /adv/.

>>17873205
Jesus fuck, I'm sorry.

He needs professional mental help then

>>17873185
:( that's not good at all

Why does it seem like I'm so undateable? I look relatively attractive, I'm having an increasingly positive outlook on life, I practice good hygeine, I'm becoming more and more polite and pleasant, I don't look down on anybody or hold an arrogant attitude, I'm willing to be kind but also honest, I don't feel any sense of "entitlement", nor do I rely on being "nice" to people (not even a neckbeard). In fact, I have a good sense of humor and I'm sociable at best (and only harmlessly strange at worst), I try my best to avoid going on 4chan or places sites with too much negativity, I have plenty of interesting hobbies, I go to the gym weekly, and I'm not at all weak emotionally.

Despite that, it seems like an Olympic trial to get a date or even a relationship. I'm not the kind of person who goes on Tinder, I'm not a spoiled frat boy who never tried in life, yet as the days goes by it seems that women seem put off by me.

Oh well...

i fucking hate that i can't stop masturbating... i fucking hate it... i try running to get the toxic crap out of my body..then i do it again.. and fucking hate myself again..

i was doing so good just a few weeks ago... pff

>>17873235
I heard therapy can sometimes help with that kind of shit. Just weigh your options, like if you don't get better in a month, maybe go to a therapist

>>17873205
>>17873226
Yeah this shit has been going on for months on these threads. It's bizarre. Sad.

>>17873243
can't afford it...

i talked to my mom about my porn watching habit.. and i feel ashamed.. but I'm also so alone.. always so alone.. I hate it dude, i just hate it..

i have to keep catching myself, but I'm so spiritually weak. i have to change this starting today... i have to..

>>17873262
I'm sorry to hear that. Just know, there's many other people in the world who actually have problems like that. And if it makes you feel any better, I pull my hair, and I'm ashamed of that, and I hate it too. You have the power to stop yourself, and so do I. We just have to reinforce it, we can do it, anon.

>>17873271
we gotta give it our best..

>>17873279
I have faith in you.

>>17873262
Why not try intense cardio (sprinting, long distance jogging) instead? I bet that would work, and if not, there's no harm done.

>>17873286
i do that already.. i run miles and miles, in fact i screwed up my leg today because i ran out of the house right after i fapped.. so i overheated the leg muscles close to my hip.

i just wanted to get out of the house already.. just to stop myself.. so, i go home, and fap again later... so i just drove somewhere public to be around ppl.. and away from home..

>>17870817
You can start by not being a dumb cunt, but that sounds like it's beyond you.

>>17873297
i keep losing weight because of it too.. develop dark circles... man i just feel powerless to the most stupid, pointless fucking thoughts.. i wish i was taking antidepressants again sometimes.. just to shut my brain up

oh darlin, when was that taken?

He looks like a chode but still. That had to be while we were together.

it's fine though. I love you.

be safe <3

>>17873235
I was in the same boat as you, so I understand how you feel. Personally, I tried to occupy my mind with a hobby and it worked surprisingly well. Perhaps that might work, if not meditation.

I love you. I don't need anybody else. You are more than enough.

Stop acting like I'll cheat. I was raised better than that. I already told you about the great men in my life - my dad, my grandfather, my brother, my best friend. A man like you is worth your weight in gold.

I never cheated on any of my shitty exes, for what it's worth. I'm not that sort of woman. Even though some of them cheated on me. It's an awful thing and it's not a pain you would ever deserve. I'd rather dump you than double cross you.

Anyway, you are MY man, MY hero. Yes, it's been 5 years, but I love you more as each day passes. I am not your cheating ex. May God bless the broken and twisted path that led me to you. You are a wonderful man and I couldn't be prouder to call you mine.

How do I find my way to your arms? To your loving embrace?

I'm a lost soul wandering the dark, grasping for a helping hand.

Where are your luminous lights?

>>17873205
I wonder if there is a way to block him. He is literally driving everybody crazy down here

I don't know what I'm waiting for right now. I've been like this for at least 6 years now. Nothing's ever clear or definite. I can't cast my attention on bringing myself from this rut. I always want to just be there in the middle, just out of vision and simply existing. And i just sit there waiting.for something to inspire me, some sort of tragedy to bring me down and make me somehow convert into something.

I have no idea what i wrote but i wrote it.

im so tired of people. i kinda wish i did fly and never came back. ive gotten gaslit, stolen from, threatened, possibly shot at, abused, and all because of being selfish and easily manipulated because i can't find what i want with those who i'm supposed to bond with genetically. fuck you jonas, the journey started with you. now, i'm just another lost soul in arizona hoping for life to get better. but hey, doesn't help when you're a child with little to no friends starting from the age 6 cause you drop your friends for a new one each year. cause that's what your weird ass does.

>>17873205
>>17873226
>>17873246
You see... It was never fact to me. It was all theory. All I know is shit was shady as fuck and many people were attacking me. My accounts have been hacked, my skype communications blocked, multiple keyloggers/mouse tracers, and so so much more.

Only way I could communicate with her was posting publicly (which would result in these people harassing me on social media) or posting on here.

Same people constantly spam "OMG HES SO CRAZYYYY" when it was obvious they were the ones doing it all.

People know how troubled I can be. It's why they idolize me. I'm not afraid to be myself... no matter how crazy myself is.

Again, never said those things were fact. Just wondering why, exactly, people are going to this great of length to take me from her.

>she's moved on
Never believed it for a second. You have no idea how she was with me, clearly. None of you did. You don't just drop someone like me or like her. She's just as crazy as I am.... nah. She feels normal when she's with me.

Still, this has been ELABORATE and was complete manipulation that failed miserably. Part on her part to motivate me and part on their part to pull me away. Just... elaborate.

I don't think they understood how much I can endure.

Gave a girl my number and waiting for her to text me. This is the worst feeling I have felt in my life. I wish I never tried to be loved. I know this will all pass eventually but some part of me is slowly breaking. I don't know what I was thinking. I wish she would just tear me apart so I can move on with my life. It's the small amount of hope that is driving me crazy.

Prepare to be cut on my edge:

What keeps me sane is this genuine dream I have, and it's not a joke, i have dreamt this a few times:

Everything's quiet. Very quiet. The news stations are dead, tv's exibit static, no one is posting on the internet, no people are walking the streets. The libtard colleges are empty, the republicunt states are so silent. All the people are gone.

No cars are honking, and they're all empty. Then, a little sparrow lands lighty on the brooklyn bridge. And it looks around, mystified.
A mighty hawk spots him, but just this once, chooses not to kill him. Instead, he lands next to the little sparrow.

The little sparrow asks, "Where...where are they? Where has the noise gone?"

And the sage hawk says, "They're gone, little one, they've all died of brain AIDS"

"And the bodies?"

"Stop looking for logic fucktard", says the hawk.

And the sparrow and the hawk look on, a little sad, but mostly happy. At the quiet bridge.

Waiting for the great vines to wrap around the skycracpers.

>>17869297
Hm. Try starting with a "hi, how's your day?" And try to keep up the conversation. And later ASK HER OUT. YEAAAH.

>>17873130
I don t wear makeup. I look like poo with it on.

>>17873489
Wipe everything on your computer and ask your isp for a new IP and more information on any kind of remote access if they have it.
Delete every account you can and the ones that have been compromised but you can't lose, change as much as you can with phone calls.
You're making this sound way too one sided and I have read tons of your posts and you're obviously not being honest with Internet strangers but most of all yourself because what use would lying to us be.

Get your shit together, cut her off and if you ever get any evidence of her trailing you or anything of the like record it and go to a lawyer to get a restraining order.
Most of all you've been posting the same thing over and over and have been having a ton of breakdowns.
Either get help or whatever but deal with that.
That's all the shit I can be fucked to response if this is even real because if not then 10/10 troll m8 you spent quite some time shitposting and I'm hooked and believe you're an actual real person.

>>17869417
Just do the good without thinking. Start with simple things. Smile more often or compliment people, take homeless people to dinner and the list goes on.

>>17873659
NO ONE LOOKS LIKE A POO. EVEN A NECKBEARD WITH 5 CHINS HAVE SOME BEAUTY ON THE INSIDE.

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Do you really think I'll accept your friend request?
I ended the friendship for a reason. You're a manipulative backstabbing liar and a homewrecker. I didn't wanna deal with the constant drama and other bullshit.
I've already tried many times in the past to work things out between us. Nothing worked. You'd never make the effort and continued to do the same shit again.
Please leave me alone.

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>>17873660
At first I thought it was just her and I was pretty ok with it. I didn't think I had anything to hide from her... I even told her "Hey, please never get on my computer. I know there are things on there that will piss you the fuck off. I'm super disorganized. I know they are on there, but I don't know exactly where."

and it's my brother/family doing part of the hacking bullshit. This is why I have been having such a hard time tracing their shit and stopping it. He's been just using the local connection so changing the IP won't matter.

my parents, at least my father, is helping him. They are super butthurt over her for some reason. My dad is just abusive and I need to get the fuck out of her it's just very hard with my current mental state. I have a hard time working. A very very very hard time.

>Most of all you've been posting the same thing over and over
I try to tell her and the others involved that I am a disorganized schizophrenic. I have 0 control of my thoughts. Whatever pops into my head is what I will obsess over and it's fucking torture. Ruminating thoughts, repeating thoughts that get no where, are a HUGE symptom of this mental illness. I so badly want the thoughts to go away but she doesn't believe me. Her insane friends convinced her I was lying and faking this.

Which... it's been fucking months and clearly I haven't gotten any better. Kinda hard to fake this. Paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations are not a huge part of this subtype.

I am 100% a real person. My name is Jace "Wakkawa" Wallace. I have not hid this fact ever. Apparently, torturing a mentally ill man is fucking hilarious to some people. These people are sociopaths... very very jealous sociopaths. Of my skills and of my woman.

>>17873718
Initials pls

>>17873718
I miss the snowboarding guy.

And the aussie girlfriend.

and the "Things are working out for her" guy

and albert perez

and that other one I'm forgetting at the moment but it'll come to me.

The dedication you guys demonstrate.

My love... remember, any messages within the last month that are hateful, mean, abusive, or whatever are FAKE. I have only been sending you love, empathy, and missing you something fierce. They steal my words and use them as their own.

Don't trust them. I just miss you so much...

please.. again... be safe. Be ok. Don't suffer for my protection. If they are going to attack me just let them do it and get free.

Please let me know what's going on if you can. Please. Tell me if you love me still or if you don't. I have told you always that I don't want a relationship with a woman that doesn't love me. I will be ok.

If you just want to be friends, I'm fine with that. If you feel like sex is the kind of love friends share, I'm ok with that too. Many agree with you. If you want that with me tell me. Just know if I meet someone new then that will have to stop.

I want to be your man, your hero... to have you all to my selfish self more than anything in the world. You are my love, my inspiration, my muse. No matter what I will love you unconditionally. I will never judge you.

You have my word.

>>17873740
My conspirators use certain posts to tag threads I am >>17873724 posting in. They love meeeee.

>>17862338

>>17864567

>>17873718

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>>17872982
she perfectly happy and healthy.
fuck, move ON. It's pitiful.

>Meet new girls, stretch a little game, get a little momentum
>Become depressed, remind myself that I'm no good for other people, and pretending otherwise is just setting myself up for heartbreak
>Get lonely, fall back into old habits
>Repeat every month or two

In fully aware of the fallacy, but I am a very difficult person to be around long-term. Honestly I can't, in good conscience, let someone date me without having a real understanding of what that means. And God forbid they fall for me, or I become dependent and unable to let them go.

Casual sex just makes me feel worse. I hooked up with a friend a while ago, and it bothers me that she could tell how lonely I was. She checks up on me once and a while now, I don't like it when people feel bad for me.

>>17872619
Initial of whom you believe that was?

>>17873785
she doesnt have her phone says her BFF.

I asked the BFF if she had any parties around that time and she said no. Asked if she was sure - "She tells me everything. I'm sure."

They keep trying to gaslight me. Something shady is going on and I don't know exactly what. I'll be talking to my friends and then out of nowhere they block me. Like, one was helping me with the hacking stuff and then blocked me without a word.

Same thing with her BFF. Just... BLOCKED.

Their end goal is to make me look crazy so it'll force me to go see a psychiatrist. She has to think that I haven't gone to one yet because I'm being lazy but It's just been incredibly hard for me to get into an appointment. I called one guy the other day and... didn't have any room. Been trying since fucking august. Just isn't variety here :/

Another goal is to make me hate her or regret being with her as some kind of motivation. In a "I'll show her what she's missing!" Type of thing. It backfired though. I just got super depressed because the love of my life disappeared.

and teach me a lesson about getting information from anons/posting publicly. Problem again... these hackers cut me off from any private communication. I have NO WAY to talk to anyone privately. It's also winter in rural midwest. Going out isn't really a thing here.

Allsooo... she's aware of how abusive and manipulative she has been in the past. The guilt of hurting me constantly was tearing her apart. I think she pushed me away to give her time to work on herself while I worked on myself. Problem, again, being that she left me to my thoughts while acting incredibly suspicious/manipulative. It's so hard for me to work not knowing what exactly is going on.

excuses? maybe. I love her with all my heart unconditionally. This was not the way to go about things.

It started out with her saying "You never loved me J." which was a lie.

(She's super beautiful as always in those pictures. I miss her so much. Ah! Pretty baby!)

Either something in me died or I lost my heart a few years ago. I'm not sure which. I thought for awhile it was a hormonal issue but that's no longer possible as of a few months ago. I've tried different avenues to feel normal again and nothing has worked. I'm an empty shell of who I once was and the person I strove to become. I know it's not depression- instead just apathy. I wish there was a quick, easy solution because this is no way to live and I'm tired of having to feign happiness. I've got nothing left to say or give.

>>17873371
I have to wonder though. What do you constitute as cheating? Some women have bizarre, twisted views of this topic. They don't consider handjobs, blowjobs, anal, and sometimes even vaginal penetration doesn't count to them unless the man cums.

All of the above is cheating. Sexting, webcam, and mutual masturbation (same room/cam) are all still cheating. Kissing, cuddling are still cheating.

Rape, molestation, and sometimes self-harming sex is not cheating. The last one is iffy depending on who it was with.

>>17873934
I doubt she's to follow that up with an anecdote about sucking off a stranger in a stall

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>>17873104

Hey man those things take time to heal! It's perfectly normal.

I dated a girl 4-5 years ago. We only dated for about a year and a half but we spent every waking moment together. We really were best friends.

I still think about her every day but the pain that was left in her absence is no longer there.

Ah fuck I've gone and made myself sad.

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So I just got done with classes and the emptiness is creeping in again,happens everytime a semester ends,"What do I do now" type of feeling.I cant go back to playing videogames like I used to it just isn't in me anymore, nor is watching my movies or cartoons and filled me with new stories,ideas, and joy , I just feel null,like What I do is a waste of time and simply waiting for the next day.

Been 3 years since I stopped being "NEET" yet nothing has really changed for the better for me,school isn't making me any better at my craft but I'm not sure if I want to do it anymore,but what else will I do?This is the thing I choose over the path I walked before and if I leave now I'll have nothing all over again , perhaps I already have nothing and what I gain was a mere illusion.

My biggest regret in the past 6 going on 7 years is not going with my cousin to uni and instead staying home to sort things out.If I had just jumped into the deep end I would have done fine but instead I looked for my own way and came out with everylittle.

You want to know what being a NEET is like?It's not filled with anime and cute girls bullshit you see in the memes It's sitting in your abyss of your owns regrets for lack of action and when you try to crawl out of it you get sleepy and fall back down to the bottom and forget what you were doing so you try again and you fall again and again and again with the ever looming future that hangs over you from above looking down at you as you struggle with yourself until one day you don't wake up to get up again.

>>17868876

It's basically the same confirmation bias as say, seeing all red cars right after you buy a red car.

>>17869206

>expecting anything better from /soc/

>>17873063

You sound like an abusive fuck, Anon. Get shitloads of therapy for the sake of everyone around you, please.

>>17874200
>saying positive reinforcement is abusive
Holy shit you're literally retarded
100% him.

Why to go fag. Be less obvious.

Don't embarrass yourself with your typical reply.

>>17868156

Xanax is the only reason I haven't killed myself.

>shit job
>live with parents
>everything is too expensive
>will live in trailer park when I move out because that's about what I can afford
>still going to be poor even when the boomers start dropping off
>no s/o
>shitty small town with no friends
>can't afford to move
>can't make new friends because no social skills

>>17874226
You should try Heroin, as mainlining it is the only reason I have not yet ended my life.

As an added bonus, every shot could, potentially, be your last.

Why do my former guildies piss me off so goddamn much, even when it's been around a decade since we last interacted? Seriously, the thought of them makes me want to get a sledgehammer and cause mayhem. Just how much they were liked by their friends and family even though they had such shitty qualities to them. I'm not even sure I remember each of their individual qualities, but it pisses me off that belligerent personalities get love and attention it seems.

I wish people would like me for acting like a bitter asshole, like they seem to do for others.

I wish people would like me for being obnoxious as hell, as they seem to do for others.

I don't want to even consider being abusive to people, but apparently that's not grounds for breaking off a friendship.

I wish I could act like a douchebag and not face any consequences for my actions.

I wish I could lecture people how sexual liberation is the worst thing ever, the brag about my sex life shamelessly and without honor to my own sense of morality.

I don't envy these people's actions, but I do envy the fact that they have friends that will always back them up no matter how much of a shitstain they are. Sometimes I wonder if getting good grades and not being able to socialize was worth it in the end...

But perhaps I have already made peace with the actions I have done. Perhaps it's best not to cause trouble or try to point out the hypocrisy of it all. Perhaps I don't even remember what happened clearly these days. All that I remember when I think about those people is nust an intense sense of anger. I'm practically almost done wiping those memories off my mind, but when they do arise I just become a really unpleasant person very quickly.

Please don't hurt me again, C. I'll do my best to keep my insecurities at bay. Thank you for that CD.

Well, I hope she got what she wanted.

1. Proof that I "never loved her" and was "obsessed with my ex" the entire time...
and
2. That I am now alone because ICL was never here. Was all a big ol' gay test.
and
3. That I "Don't Care She Hurt Me" so she can do whatever she wants guilt free without worrying about hurting the man that loved her unconditionally!

(psssttt I still do love you. It still hurts like a mother fucker. Yes, I would be with ICL right now if she were here. Because... if she were actually here for real that would mean she actually cared... which... fucking sue me for wanting that.)

This is basically me saying I love you, you're still hurting me every day, yes I know this was all a game/test, and if my ex was here she would deserve me far more than you do at the moment.

basically... "What the fucking christ? Why do you have to have everyone love you? "

Was your plan to truly die leaving a dozen men thinking your last message of love was to them?

You realize if you do that then... literally NO ONE will think you loved them and EVERYONE will think poorly of you after you pass...

Or do you think they will never talk after the fact? Did you guys think that far ahead?

Or did you seriously put THAT MUCH effort JUST to fuck with me?

I'm loveerrrrrrr. I love. It's what I do. If sweet tea shows me love... she will get all of mine in return. Again... no one is showing me shit other than they enjoy fucking with me.

You should be showing you want to FUCK me instead... because good god the next time I have sex is going to be fucking hard as fuck, kinky as shit, and... just so much...

I'm just going to assume neither one of you are real and the world is shit and you're all shit for dragging me through this despite how much I gave you all.

Despite how loyal I was to every woman I was with and you all still cheated on me because you were all jealous as fuck. Constantly berating me for "cheating" on you when... I had the chance but never did with any of you.

This world sucks. It all sucks. I try so fucking hard and get nowhere. and I don't want to be the kind of person that manipulates and lies to get what he wants so I'm just going to sit here staring at the wall until I die.

The only winning move is to not play the game.

I was never playing a game though.

I just wanted love. Why is that so fucking terrible of me? I never got in the way of someone elses love. I have always tried to bring people closer. Many have gotten between me and my love though.

yay laugh at the crying mentally ill man for getting fucked over constantly, ignored, all because he acted out for being in pain...

I'm not going to do shit other than sleep for the next 10 years. I'm going back to my "wake up, start at 10 and count down the hours until I can take sleeping pills again to sleep some more."

it's like being dead without the commitment.

My mother is a piece of work...
I'm the product of statutory rape with her mother's boyfriend, whom she later married.
They divorced when I was 5.
She got married 7 years ago to her long-time boyfriend: the man who raped me for 5 years. She married him AFTER I told her what he did, and he confessed.
I told her If he ever came anywhere near my children, I'd stab him in the face.
We don't talk anymore. She sends me birthday wishes, and asks me how my kids are doing. I delete all of the texts without answering.
She now has a tumor in her brain. And I'm finding it very hard to care. Am I a callous monster?

All I wanted was honesty, but now the hate is overtaking me, and I guess I'm the bad guy. Creativity is a curse. Without direction, it will turn to paranoia real quick. But let's be real. You were never trustworthy to begin with.

>>17874448
(remember... all my messages are of love, missing you, and wanting to see you. Anything else, like this one, are fake. Remember how I was in person. That's who I am... not a hater. a lover.

I'm nothing but heart...

and you fill every corner with your luminous lights)

<3 <3 <#

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>>17869213
lol

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>>17873740
Theirs is SJ
Mine is ER

>>17873767
I was hoping that they'd see it desu.
That's the reason for reposting.

>>17874405
No
People have limited resources and you have kids.
Might regret it for the whole closure thing but might not since you got your own kids all scurrying along needing to be taken care of and parents tend to not care about anything but their kids in some ways

He started ghosting me (after I ghosted him when he was out with his ex), until he thought I was showing interest in someone else. He disrespected me when he knew I loved him physically and emotionally more than anything in the world, letting other women try their luck in front of me for more attention, because he liked hurting me. The person who loves me won't do that. He never used to do that. it must be because he really hated me

He was the sweetest man I ever met in my life. and he wouldn't accept me in the end. My love is true. I shouldn't feel bad for now wanting to accept someone who truly loves me too

so many popular people treating their partners or friends badly are portraying themselves as something they're not. I don't know why people put up with all the lies and deceit and cheating and keep patting each other's on the back for being such a great sport. I'm interested in honest relationships, yet so many people don't seem to care genuinely for others like that

I've already fallen in love with you. Feel like I can't tell you yet, but you make me feel so happy when we're together

Fuck fuck fuck what should I do

Hahahahhahabdbd
I hate myself

>>17874224
Abusers aren't usually savvy to the fact that "being nice" sometimes doesn't automatically make you NOT abusive. In fact, it's a pretty crucial element in the whole process.

I'm really not 100% sure if I dated a drug addict

she started doing coke at her teen years, all fueled apparently by a very traumatic experience. And from there the raves, the crazy crazy stories... I knew all of this before getting into something with her, but I never felt intimidated or cared.

I still feel a little mad, half a month after breaking up with her, because two of our big deal breakers were drugs and her friends.

Drugs, because as open as I am it ended up separating us more than anything. I have friends who do drugs, who take speed and coke mostly, theyre good friends and I always have a great time with them, I never once felt out of place with them. But with my girl, when she's with her friends...
Her friends really arent that much of a big deal, theyre just a bunch of rich kids who take drugs to look cool, who even take pictures snorting coke on bathrooms just for the sake of looking hip. That was the real toxicity. It wad a bunch of stupid frivolous kids with money. But it was the friends she choosed, did that make her any different from them?
(They also were really against me. Her very best friend, a jealous guy, I feel she manipulated her into dating a common friend of them and ditch me),


I dont know adv, on the long run I feel I dodged a bullet. Its what everyone tells me, its what I tell myself everytime I think about.

I just dont feel that easyness of saying "yeah I dodged trouble"

>>17868908
https://youtu.be/3luTJGAa9sM

Life is meaningless, there is no such thing as progress, all these petty problems are mostly created by us in order to feel important and then when someone doesn't acknowledge it as important then you get offended because your coping mechanism is devalued, then you gotta find more problems to try and feel like this shit matters, on and on it goes...so it goes, maybe just don't drag other lives into this shit cycle? Maybe don't give into your mindless programmimg and don't have fucking kids? They aren't asking to be here you narcissistic scumfuck humans.

no obligation..anyway, I'm so glad we decided to go for it. Best decision I can remember making yet

I love the way you make me feel

>>17874188
But its not like I see girls like her regularly, or immediately after meeting her.

This was a good 10 months after meeting her, and was the only girl that looked like her that I've seen.

I know it's all an illusion, but for just a few minutes a day I can live in the fantasy that my life could be better.

>>17874458
I hate that though. You say you love me, but you love everyone. I'd rather be alone than share your love.

I guess I'm not much of a lover then.

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I have a casual hook up relationship with a Chinese girl. I'm a Slav.

If either of our parents knew, we'd both get disowned faster than you can squat.

But at the same time, this is not casual relationship, not really.

We've been doing this for 6 moths. I have stayed overnight at her place. She has stayed at mine. We cuddle. We watch stuff on TV together. We actually go on dates. But when we come to the matter of actually committing, saying to each other that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, we both chickenshit out of it and just pretend it's not a huge fucking elephant in the room.

At this point, I have no idea what we're doing or waiting for.

You ever see someone and think "Yeah, that's an Anon for sure"?
Because I have a guy that totally gives off the vibe in one of my classes.
It's a bit unnerving.

>>17875492
What makes you say that? Personally I know I meld in well, but I've never been one to spot out an anon. I've met very few people who know anything about 4chan, and if they do, it's some passing anecdote referring to /b/.

A light bulb exploded in my room right after I busted my nut in a chick I was fucking. I can't stop thinking about this for some reason.

Tears in the rain


Gotta be ready for that

>>17874731
Narcissism is rampant these days. The Internet, and really social media, has brought out the worst in a lot of people. People who genuinely care are hard to find.

>>17875323
lol what.

Name one person.

Okay so, I fucked up the task I was assigned, but not nearly as badly as I could have. I was 100% certain that I had it all straight in my head, but this has been happening a lot. There's a hole in my memory that's swallowing up everything. But the last fucking thing we need is for you to clam up! I need guidance! I need to know what the fuck I'm doing! You can't just collapse on me here. I don't care about your attack of life/no spoons bullshit! We got shit to do? Or does it even matter anymore? I'm so tempted to quit and I'm starting to lose sight of why I'm even dedicated at all...

>>17874795
sure.

If I was ALWAYS nice then whatever. I challenege people to become better.

I don't really have to convince anyone of this. Literally everyone not-retarded can see.

How many of you ladies are watching?

How many of you have been listening to my horrid singing?

Welp... I think every artist out there knows what my dick looks like now.

>>17870948
How do you know how much is makeup and how much isn't?

I'm speaking to a girl now and she seems worried about how I'll react without her make up, I seem to be falling for it pretty hard, she does a great job at it because I don't see a problem

I'm so self-conscious about my small dick it's making me turn away from women altogether, I can't flirt with them, if it turns out that we end up in bed it would be a nightmare. I just run away.

I feel like every thought I have is part of one big flow chart that ultimately just leads to thinking about suicide.

Caretaker for grandparents after parents died, and now have no social life. Not being able to maintain friendships and let alone find a nice girl is haunting from times, knowing i'll only be able to when my grandparents die and I might be too old to be desirable then.

i've hurt my bf and now he doesn't text back anymore. fml

>>17876080
Antidepressants.

>>17876083
it's been 13 hours and soon my willpower to not spam him with walls of text will be gone...

Darlin, after that november 5th did you think I was ghosting you? Is that what happened?

You weren't ghosting me after all... you just weren't able to receive any of my messages. All those messages on skype, facebook, twitter, DA, email, and more were all blocked because of my parents, my brother, and the people helping him (your ex, and pz... ect). They were actively preventing me from going to Canada to see you, weren't they?

is that why all your accounts were deleted? Is that why you couldn't answer me? my skype was glitching out for the longest time...

were they sending you hateful messages on my part? The emails I received were from them, weren't they? They manufactored my meltdown...

They didn't expect me to love you so fucking much though... did they?

I told my family to fuck right the fuck off. That if they loved me, if they gave a SHIT about me they would support my decisions. They would support my love for you, that I want to be with you, and you are the woman I choose to be with.

I hope you are on your way to me now...

i know my brother said "I won, bitch" in that other thread but he knows he didn't. He knows I'm going to knock his fucking teeth out if I see him again.

They think lying to me is going to work. That if they double down on their lies then I will start to question my own mind. My love.

There are two things I'm certain of in this life.

1. I'm a fucking genius.
2. I'm madly, insanely, diamonds in love with you, my woman, my muse. My songbird.

Come and get your love...
Mi Amor

For as long as I can remember I've always wished that I was a girl. All that tranny stuff gives me a headache and wouldn't solve my clearly deeper issues, but I'm jealous of a lot of girls.

Fucking bitches man

She's a good girl...

She loves Jesus... and America too.

>>17876156
I wish I was born a girl sometimes so I could have hot lesbian sex. But I like being a dude. Gas all the trannies btw.

>>17876094

Holy shit, why didn't I ever think of that? Wow, thanks anon. You've changed a life today.

>>17876168

this is literally me

I'm afraid that I won't find a girl like her anymore. She was perfect, but the thing is, that I realized it too late. The fun fact is, that she was the one who wanted to start all this thing. And I just ignored her because of my idiot ideas. I realized it now, that it was a huge mistake. But it's too late now. I may be matured now, but I can't do anything about it anymore.

Tried to contact her and have just a small conversation, but she ignored me. And she has every right to do it. I wish I was just standing up to her when she needed me. I wish I said anything to her. I wish I had the courage to tell her anything NOW. But... I'm afraid.

I don't know why, but I'm afraid. Not just afraid, but feeling lost and hopeless. And I literally don't know what to do anymore, because I think that I won't find a girl like her.

All of her small mistakes that I didn't like at that time, I would gladly accept them, just because of her.

I screwed up. I wish I could just say anything. But I can't. And that makes me sad.

I'm getting really bitter at OKcupid. I'm a 7/10 in terms of looks, decent looking but not a "Mr Perfect". As such, while I was in the "attractive" group when I started, when the likes/day rate went down the algorithm dropped me out a month or two in. Now all I see are chicks who have already been bombarded with dick pics (since apparently new girls are only shown to the hot guys) and aren't really interested anymore by the time I send a message to them (whereas before I had plenty of engaging conversations and a few decent dates).

Yeah I know, I know, I should go talk to girls in real life. It's pretty fucking hard though, I live in a city where the culture is to keep to oneself, so cold approaching girls is something only weirdos do.

Feeling pretty depressed. Seems everyone around me is a lot more experienced at talking to girls and hooking up. I didn't care until recently (was happy to do my own thing) but I'm getting older and I do want to start a family.

>>17876071
Not all girls care about dick size. I'm not going to sugar coat it, more than a few girls do care about size, but I kid you not, many don't even care about sex in general (which can be a problem too of course).

Regardless, even if they do care, that's often because they only think a big dick can make them feel good. That, of course, is false, because a guy who's good at oral, along with other forms of stimulation (emotional, pleasure spots, etc.) will do better than any form of penetration for 95% of women.

It's been said, anecdotally, that small dicked men are more likely to be good lovers because they can't rely on just their dick. Yes, a large dicked man has more "potential", but it's not uncommon in all walks of life for people with natural advantage to get beaten by the naturally disadvantaged because they don't feel the need to try.

So just chill out and make sure you think about more than just your dick and you'll be able to win her over regardless.

>>17876071
it can't be *that* small

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>>17876206
i know

>>17874731
Me too anon, me too. Honesty is all I have ever wanted from a partner.

They make me feel awful for having choices... and I would make that choice based solely on the one woman to show me honesty.

Does that make me a monster?

>>17874702
>>17874711
Did you break up with him? Did you put together an elaborate test of love for him? Did you lie to him so many times that he didn't believe you loved him at all?

Did he ask you to be honest and yet you refused to say a word?

can you fault someone for wanting to be loved? That maybe he was trying his "luck" with other women because you abandoned him?

It has nothing to do with hating you...

You were silent with your love and affection. What exactly do you expect a boy to do?

>>17875903
Which one of you wanted to put a ring on me?

(BTW my nose is super fucking infected. My entire respiratory system fucking HURTS LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER.)

>>17876165
She's a good girl...

Crazy bout Elvis
Loves horses, and her boyfriend, too

>>17876276
eeeeeeeeeeee

>>17876206
I feel sorry for you anon, but maybe you could try to contact her once more. Just send her a message via facebook or some shit. You literally have nothing to lose.

I don't want to have feelings anymore

>>17876301
why?

I hope I finally get some closure with her.

I messaged her earlier saying
>I meant to ask if you want to do something next week. I'm free for Monday if that works for you.


Hopefully I get some sort of definitive yes or no

>>17876311
At this point they have hurt me more than make me feel better

>>17876327
I'm guessing every anon on this board just checked their phone hoping the text was meant for them. :) I hope it turns out well for you!

>>17876335
It's been kinda in Limbo.
She did say "We can always always give it a shot!" with the general idea of doing something over break, but nothing was concrete.

I'm hoping she response positively but I think that she'll just use an "I'm Busy" excuse with no alternative offer. Given her track record and all.

>>17876330
Are you sure they meant to hurt you? Maybe you're reading into things the wrong way.

Is it your insecurities?

My GF was always going on and on about how badly I hurt her all the time. Every time it was because of her EXTREME insecurities and the fact I was the only man in her entire life she had ever felt genuine love for. All that did was make her doubt every word I would tell her.

it sucked because holy shit did I love that girl.

i loved my gf before her too and the same damn thing. It's just because they have dealt with shitty people in the past and because of my career.

For some reason women love to play passive aggressive games rather than just talk about things.

>>17870908
Why would you go back? Youd get more shit.

>>17871962
Sounds nice. When are you free?

>>17876238
So it's a trial and error until I find a girl that cares about other things in bed?

>>17876239
It's thin, I think that's what gets me.

>>17876080
Same, I've come up with some pretty nice methods that won't cause a mess for people and I just wish a nigga would push me over the edge one day so I can finally kill myself. I'm almost there just a little more work and all my lack of enthusiasm about suicide is finally gone.

I'm genuinely sad as fuck right now.

They were gone for so long... I was almost sure they were doing something else. Picking someone up.

Guess I will have a lonely december after all.

I guess I never mattered. That my feelings of wanting to be loved ruined everything. I just wanted someone to show they cared. To show me I mattered to them.

Because again, if they couldn't even show me an act of love... while I loved them unconditionally, how is that fair to me? I hate that I love her and how she doesn't care at all. Not even a tiny bit.

I love you raven haired girl.

How can you get angry at me if I were to be with another woman if you don't act? Love is a verb, it's a doing word.

>>17876381
if that makes you feel better, I actually have a large dick but it doesn't really matter if you're socially autistic and can't even talk to women like me

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>>17868156
I hate my friends
They are assholes who use me when it's convenient for them
Wish I could just find some ok people who I can joke around with a little
Who can give me some space when I need it
Who won't forget their wallets whenever we go out to eat

I found an old fb post about me a friend wrote that was 'crashing anons'. What does that mean? Is it rude/disrespectful?

[s]strikethrough[/s]

>>17876396
At least you can change that, I'm stuck with a pencil dick.

People tell you to smile at the world and the world will smile back, but what makes you happy is not other happy people.

I think what makes you happy is fulfilling your dreams and expressing yourself 100%.

It's not easy being honest all the time because often times people are insecure about their true identities and that creates distrust so that your brain concludes it unsafe to share your thoughts so you end up lying to other people. Suddenly you catch yourself becoming one of them andyou try to extra hard to stay true to yourself and it only brings pain because our exploiting society doesn't like personal identities.
This is why most people hate true art like poetry.

I am so butthurt but don't I have a right to be?

Humanity is getting smaller it seems while the population grows bigger.

Greed is bred into humans through media and education and it seems it's just getting worse.

More and more people suffer from depression and people blame it on technology?

Technology could be our saviour, it connects people and it removes depriving jobs so that humans dont have to suffer from slavery.

Slavery is what life is for most people, they just don't like to admit it to themselves much less other people.

I like this thread, it contains a lot of honesty.

I often refrain from opening up to anyone because I am utterly horrible at communicating as you probably have noticed lol(English is not my first language, but even so...)

A sense of humor is something we create in order to cover something up or to protect ourselves when we feel uncomfortable.

I have a strange little pain somewhere near (or in) my left testicle. It doesn't hurt too much, but it's fucking annoying. Maybe I should go to a doctor, see if he can tell me what it is. I fear that it may be something like an infection in the urethra or something. I haven't had sex in over a year but still... stuff can happen... right?
What else could it be otherwise? maybe a crushed never somewhere behind my balls? nah that sounds unlikely.
This is so weird.

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Im so fucking jealous of my bf's friends having a kid and all the attention she gets. My bf and I had an accidental pregnancy and I made the hardest decision of adoption. No one knows I was pregnant and that we did this. AND IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS OF THIS BITCH AND HER HUNDREDS OF LIKES AND PHOTOS. it's not even the fucking baby it's just the attention. No one was there at all while I was giivng birth I was all alone for days, and this bitch and othe rof his female friends having babies with their husbands have all their firends and family partying and loving them. uggh and the hundreds of picstures a day, your baby isnt even cute hes fucking ugly. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FUCKING BABYS!!!! It just make me so sad, and angry and alone. Then I post about being in the ER or finishing school, and not one gives a fuck.

I'm pretty happy right now. Working out again, so that's nice, and I'm hoping to finish up the Christmas shopping tomorrow.

Actually talking to a girl at the moment. I like her so I'm hoping things go well.

>>17876854
you're a bitch

>>17876991
yea I know. and i feel like one too. Seeing others happy makes me miserable, im an awful human.But does everyone need to post 50 pictures a day about their damn baby and all his new clothes and how much his daddy and mommy love him? I'll probably end up killing myself by next year anyway, so the world doesn't need me.

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>>17877010
>yea I know
good. now stop it.

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>>17868156
Why the hell do you seem so disinterested and then the next day crave my attention? I wish we could communicate clearer.

I'm in love with a friend.

Where do I turn this off?

>>17876854
Hahaha fucking loser.

so baby doll...

are you unable to visit because you're... being held because you tried to kill yourself?

I take it your final on friday didn't go so well?

Could you please stop leading on multiple men? Or at the very least, stop acting like you are?

I also realize it could just be my haters faking it.

I hope your treatment is going well.

If you are near... if you had a couple visitors today... please tell me where. Please let me see you, ok? Don't worry about the others. They know It's me, that it was always me, and it was ALWAYS GOING to be me.

If they can't accept that fact they are the ones that are delusional. I mean, look at me. I'm a fucking beautiful wreck. They just can't compare.

Don't worry about how you look, ok? Please, I'm the last person in the world that would EVER judge you. You're my beautiful woman no matter what. I don't care about anything other than to have you by my side. Sex, any of that... was simply an expression of my love of you. It is NOT MY LOVE of you, just an expression of it.

Love is a verb, love is a doing word. Spending time with you, genuinely loving your company, your stories, your words, everything.

It is not your body that inspires me. Your body is not my muse. Your fantastic mind, your creativity, your intellect. That is why you are my muse.

Yes, I see your posts on here all the time. They make me happy when I do. They are so clearly you.

So please let go of your fears. Set them adrift, and never think of them again.

I am your raft in this heartless sea. You will never drown when you are with me.

Trust my loving heart. Trust all of me.

and I will you.

<3 <3 <#

Mutton chops are the new neckbeard.

So... what happened Jun 14thish?

I wish we could be honest with one another.. I mean, you honest with me. I'm already honest with you.

I love you.

Seriously, you're going to be ok no matter what. Just know that I will never judge you.

I made that promise to you, my love.

I am not a whore
That being said, my family needed to hear my words so I went for a visit.

>>17877197
Mutton chops were the neckbeard of the 80s weren't they?

I'll only spill my secrets in person if you ask the right ?s

>>17877392
I have asked you a million questions.

The most important was always,

Do you love me?
Can you talk to me?

>>17877401
>>17877392
It's when I get ignored when I start the deep thinking and wondering...

It's never going to matter how hard I try... I just don't matter to anyone.

I have asked if you were safe...

If you were ok.
If I could talk to you.
If I could see you.
Why this has been happening.
If you missed me.
If you loved me.
If you trusted me
If I could help you.
If you didn't love me... if you just wanted to be friends?

Because I love you with every part of me.
I miss you deeply.

I'm sorry if I ask obscene or offensive questions. You don't exactly give me much to go off from. You didn't exactly listen to me all that often...

:(

I wouldn't be putting this much effort for someone I don't care for. If I felt nothing I wouldn't be okay just fucking off. I can talk to you I just need you to be patient as I figure what to say

>>17877422
*would

>>17877422
>. I can talk to you I just need you to be patient as I figure what to say
I have been waiting for months now...

And yes, this has been an INSANE amount of effort.

You say "care for" but you did not say love...

Does that say it all then?

You told me before "There isn't anyone else..." am I to still believe those words?

I won't believe any of this here until I see your face, see your lips say the words.

I can't help but think hopeful. To have put this much effort... you know I wouldn't harm myself or do anything stupid if you just wanted to be friends or nothing at all.

You know I would never judge you.

that I am incredibly patient. I just have a very active mind and very little solid information...

What I do have is the fact there is a conspiracy against me right now and I hope you can understand how this looks from my point of view.

Women are unforgiving bitches.

If you're a woman I want to say this right now. I don't care how nice you act. I don't care how bubbly your personality is. I don't care how friendly you are. I don't care how many friends you have.

BECAUSE I KNOW
I FUCKING KNOW
THAT IF I EVER DO ANYTHING
ANNNNNYYYYYYYYYYTHING
TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE I'M A BAD PERSON

YOU WILL JUDGE ME TO BE A BAD PERSON. YOU WILL TURN INTO A COLD UNFORGIVING BITCH. AND YOU WILL FUCKING GHOST ME AND KICK ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE LIKE I NEVER MATTERED. AND NO MATTER WHAT I ACCOMPLISH IN MY LIFE TO SHOW I'M A GOOD PERSON
EVEN IF I INVENT A FUCKING CURE TO CANCER AND SAVE THE LIVES OF 1000 CHILDREN

YOU"RE GOING TO LOOK AT ME
AND YOU"RE GOING TO SAY
"WOW HE DOES THESE NICE THINGS BUT HE"S A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I CAN NEVER FORGIVE HIM"

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHES

ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING BITCHES

THATS IT

I'M TURNING GAY

FUCK ALL WOMEN

>>17877445
i keked

>>17877445
I have been lied to, physically, mentally, emotionally abused, literally raped, cheated, manipulated, dragged through hell and back...

By all kinds of women... a lot of that from my current woman...

But god damn do I fucking love her with all my heart.

and I would be patient, loving, understanding, and never judge her for any of it.

She knows me in a way no one else does.

And I know her far more than she thinks I do.

Don't worry mi amor... that is why I fell in love with you.

>>17877422

We don't need words. I just need your embrace and that will say more than any perfectly chosen words could.

And insane amount of effort....

>>17876109
it's been 20h now. still no answer. wtf do i do now...

Fuck you for goi around talking about us to other people. Fuck you for asking others to fix what is our problem. Fuck YOU and your fucking stupidity to not talk to me and instead getting advice from strangers.

>>17877445
You can't turn gay.
Anon I'm sorry to tell you but you've been gay all along.

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>>17877445

>>17877475
you sound mad anon. Why are you so madddd.

Baby... you know that I only send you love. I'm nothing but heart.

Yes, sometimes I ask stupid questions. But you know how fucked my brain is. How incredibly inquisitive I am. I don't ask questions as a way to offend, or if I think they are true. It's just how my brain works. I just... if it pops up I just gotta know or it'll linger for far too long. >>17877119 >>17877031 These are proof of the hacking bullshit.

Just remember, again.... many people have been trying to hurt me. MANY people. I have been hacked to fucking oblivion. My accounts were all stolen. I cannot email you, skype with you, or anything like that.

please try facebook or twitter.

But I will only ever trust the words that come from your beautiful crimson lips.

>>17877497
Wcom?

>>17877480
That response is gold

I really do think that the globalist cabal are responsible for the influx of Islamic refugees in some European countries, I think, in an effort to destabilize those countries in preparation for something big. I also think that the efforts of the leftist media are trying so hard and so desperatly to invalidate Trump because they know what the left leaning leaders of the nation know: that Trump will work to serve the best interest of the American people, rather than pushing their agenda, and they know that if they cannot do that, there will be war.

>>17877522
wakkawa,

The one and only WakkaWacom belongs to her.

>>17877445

Is your name Alex?

I'm a bit hurt. I don't know if I should cut the source or not.