Don't know how I feel about this

tl;dr

>gf has problems
>she hangs out with others rather then me
>I want to do more things with her
>she does other things with friends
>I feel distanced

>I just dont know how I feel about this whole thing

>>17867013
>she wants to run off and live with a 'guy friend' who is not you
>you didn't question her, saying that it will be a problem if you do

So what i'm reading between the lines is that you're afraid of your gf. You're so afraid of her getting upset that you'll let her make you a cuck.

Bro what is up with this dysfunctional and abusive relationship? You say you love and trust her but what has she done to earn that love and trust? Ditch you to go with her friends? Because nothing you're saying would make me trust her at all.

>>17867031
She been talking to the guy for years and she says this guy is asexual. The guy has no itent of being in a relationship. They been best buds and she wants to go see him.

I don't want to overwhelm her now and make her have a breakdown, seeing we are fresh in this relatiomship, and she has problems in her hands right now. My plan is to tell her how I feel about it later down the road.

How I gain her trust is her actually being there for me. Not only that, her past relationships where abusive and her being cheated on multiple times. She has my trust, But seeing her true self, Im beginning to think so other wise.

>>17867049
Naw man you will never tell her how you feel about it later, because she's not gonna get better. She'll keep having breakdowns and being 'overwhelmed' with shit, and you'll keep walking around her on eggshells because like I said.

You are afraid of upsetting her. You are putting her needs and feelings way above your own. She's not doing the same.This ain't an equal relationship dude. You can't hold a drowning person above water if they won't help tread water

Ok, so maybe in the past she was there for you. Her past relationships being abusive and her being cheated on before don't matter at all right now. It's very easy to give your all to someone, in the beginning stages of a relationship.

I don't think she has the same feelings towards you now that she used to. She might tell you otherwise, but she's certainly not acting like it at all, at this time.

>>17867071
We don't text as we used to, sending messges constsntly, now its 2 even 5 hours of no response from her.

That's what im trying to clear up. I just don't know I feel about this.

And I very well can tell her. She would end up crying about it to her friends and that is all she can pretty much do after realizing.

So what should I do? My feelings is all shitty right now

>>17867088
Well clearly you should feel upset that your girl's ignoring you for 5 hours, and that you also feel the need to have to constantly text her when she won't respond. Where the fuck did your backbone go? You are allowed to feel upset, you know.

So if you can tell her what you're writing here, why don't you? Do it right now. You are making excuses.

The thing I wish everyone knew is that if you're not happy in a relationship for whatever reason, it's ok to break it off. Especially if your partner isn't willing to change. Boo hoo people will be upset but you ain't Buddha. Put yourself first

People who have been abused don't know how to value social relationships very well, many isolate themselves and when they don't, they are usually using social groups and friends as an escape.

My honest advise is, let her know how you feel and what your intentions are. If she brushes those off or doesn't take them seriously, or doesn't value them, stop seeing her and go find someone else. If someone who you like says they are in love, would walk on coals for you, and wants a serious relationship, and you refuse, probably you are going to be chasing escapism for an awful long time. She has to decide to come out of that.

just read the OP post, not other replies
lady here who has done something similar in the past in just had a male friend go through a similar situation
she's probably done with the relationship but is afraid to end it.

>distancing herself from you
>excluding you
>talking to another guy

I'm almost certain of it
but ya got to ask her about it.

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165KB, 1440x1696px

>>17867106
>>17867105
>>17867097

>>17867115
wE can't help you anymore dude. You didn't discuss the problems you had, just took the easy way out with 'just a feeling'.

Of course she's gonna say she loves you over text, it's easier than spending time with you. Girls hate to be the one to breakup with someone first.
She probably doesn't want to be alone. so she is looking for other dick or partying while you stay at home like a good boy who won't break up with her. Have fun with your relationship man

This shit has happened to me before.

Also you're probably in high school.

Just give up.

>>17867049
>She been talking to the guy for years and she says this guy is asexual. The guy has no itent of being in a relationship.

Hadn't read the rest of the thread or post but let me tell you. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS. You're a man, you know how much of sneaky bastards we can be.

>>17867115
>"Nah"
here's the problem dipshit
you come off like you don't give a fuck.
no wonder she thinks you don't want to be with her.

>>17867210
I think it's flopped for some reason. The context makes more sense if you see OP as the left text

>>17867239
nope stupid. that's kik.
right is OP, left is gf.

basically OP seems emotionally distant from >>17867115
so he's complaining about her being distant, when he's the one doing it
she's clearly begging for his affection and all he can say is "yah"
then act all BOOHOO LE GF ISN'T NOTICING ME DESU

what the fuck is wrong with you OP

>>17867009
In the words of Nelson Algren,

Never eat at a place called Mom's, never play poker with a guy called Pop, and never fuck anyone crazier than you.

>>17867009
>Maybe Im too boring for her.

Some people actually seek out chaos. If she grew up amidst family chaos, trouble and clashes, then she is USED to the turmoil. She thinks of chaos as how relationships are supposed to be. It's her 'normal".

Children of alcoholics and addicts and abusers are often damaged by the warped upbringing and later seek out alcoholics, addicts or abusers to form bonds with.

Your chance of a stable, lengthy relationship with her is zero.
In fact, your promises of calm, unwavering caring and stability IS turning her away. You do not attract her. She is probably going toward a bad crowd and toward "bad boys".

You are not in any way prepared to "heal" her. You do not have any psych, therapeutic or consulting knowledge. She does not even want you to "heal" her. Any effort and worry made by you would be a waste of time.

Don't get romantically involved with distressed damsels. Find someone loving, happy, genuine, nice, balanced and fun. Don't marry a "project" or fixer-upper.

You want to be a "white knight" and "save" her but, really, part of that is to boost your own self-worth and ego. It's an adolescent fantasy. There are other ways to do actual social good.

Work on yourself and your future for now. Invest. Learn. Build. Focus on your well-being. Give it time. Move on.

>>17867009

shes legitimately mentally unstable, you know this, so trying to rationalize what she does is pretty silly.

leave her.

>>17867142
haha yea, this has happened to me aswell, pretty recently.

the girl im talking about is attracted to abusive relationships, she even told me herself she cant leave him because shes so attatched, she went out with me for like 1.5 months and we rushed it like crazy which was honestly a red flag, there were so many red flags it was crazy but, shes also crazy, suicidal etc..

i miss something but its not her, its the affection, and caring for someone and knowing it was reciprocated, but not her, i know a stable relationship is impossible and i wouldnt even be able to deal with her problems.

too bad, shes not for me.