Should you search for love?

It's just really stressful to go the whole 'actively looking' route, since you see a girl and get disappointed every time if it's not one you really like. And then you wonder what's wrong with you/people, and go down that whole misery route.

Just tone it down, do it on the side for fun while you have fun with your friends. I did that and have met a lot more chill people that way--still not anyone I'd seriously date, but miles better than the crap I found on tinder.

Well said, man. By actively searching, you're going to end up stressed out because you're not focusing on your own happiness and girls will disappoint you. Gotta find happiness in the single life and your lifestyle in general and let come what may.

>>17866684
Well i did this, and when i got to a girl that's cool and likes me, i start to sperg out and trying to force things, maybe i should focus on myself first

You're right op, just let it come to you

>>17866979

Or just don't try and force things?

Your job is to set a definite date, make sure she has fun, then kiss her goodnight or give her an orgasm. Then you say "I had fun." Don't plan the next date, just either drop her off or whatever and kiss her and say Bye.

Wait for her to get back to you. If you did everything right, she'll message you within 3 days. If she doesn't text you within 3 days, then it's okay to message her ONCE and ask her to meet up again. I wouldn't do this for a week, though, see if she reaches out to you first.

When she texts you after the date, she'll either say I had a great time or whatever, and you just say "I had fun too. When are you free to get together again?" And plan the next definite date. Then avoid communication till the date, and repeat. Have fun, hook up. Never force things, meaning you never even say the word girlfriend or dating. Eventually in a few weeks or months, if she's been having fun hanging out with you, SHE will bring up relationship talk.

>So you've been taking me out for a few weeks now, and I was wondering, are you seeing anybody else?
>Haha what do you mean?
>I meaaaaaaan am I the only girl you're seeing?
>Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?
>*smiles and nods*
>Of course I consider you my girlfriend *give her kiss*

It's that easy bro. I've had this happen before just by taking girls out to Texas Roadhouse once a week and fucking them after. Never texted them, they always texted me. When they did, I'd just arrange the next date. Most girls will ask to be your gf within 1-3 months.

>>17866684
>Should you actively go out and search for a girlfriend, or should you just focus on perfecting yourself and wait for opportunities to come your way?
It's a balancing act. You can't just do nothing: only waiting for things to come to you is the best way to ensure that nothing ever does. But every effort you make will hurt some as well as help some, and the more you do, the more it hurts: try too hard, and you wind up doing more harm than good. The trick is in finding the point where your efforts do the most good.

>>17867002
Idk man I wouldnt ask to be anyone's girlfriend no mattee what but I guess I'm the more awkward type of girl anyway.

>>17867002
Damn dude. The ego is palpable. Maybe you should give that advice to dudes who just want to get laid and have their love life dictated by another?

>>17866684

stop worrying about whether or not someone is 'material'. it is the most dehumanizing thing you can do to someone you're trying to consider as a future wife.

don't think about someone in the context of 'copuld i have kids with them' when you havent known them for more than a few dates.

do you really think you came off as 'father material' in those times? would they tihnk so after eading htis post and seeing oyu say 'daddy issues, sluts (not a bad thing), damaged goods!'

im a dude, and i think SJW feminism is pretty fucking stupid, but jesus man you are literally talking about them like they are a product.

go on dates and just worry about whether or not you're having fun, not whether or not you'll be stable in 20 years.

cuz honest to god, if you only worry about how things will be in the future, you're not going to find someone who will last 1/20th as long.

>>17868452


Damn....that's some solid advice. I honestly haven't thought about it that way. I think being with one person for four years kind of messed with my brain a little bit.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind from now on.

>>17868612

it happens man, no one is perfect, and its not your fault that these analogies and comparisons exist. just stop enjoy life as it is.

the most successful relationships are just people who legitimately enjoy each other not just in the romantic sense but being able to have fun and get along.

cuz if you can always have fun get along, you'll be able to do it even when you face adversity, and that makes relationships more stable.

you also got to remember that people do a BIG change when they have kids.

you may not htink of a girl as wife material because she goe sto the bar a lot, but most people are like that BEFORE kids. people arent already in a 'kid raising' life style just waiting for them to appear.

so regardless of how they act now, they will be different when they have kids. some better. some worse. but most arent looking to have kids if they arent even in a serious relationship.

having kids is a lot like dating itself. its not something you should just want and search for.

you should live your life being as happy as you can, and if you find the right person (to date OR to have kids with) thats when the idea should seem appealing.

you arent necessarily wrong to judge these women as not being worth a second date but just focus on whether or not you're having fun.