Tinder

Tinder was made for that, she's already open to it. What's the point of talking to her there forever if you won't ask her out?

Also always remember that matches are disposable, so make a fool from yourself and if you're rejected, just unmatch and move on

>>17860961
Go ahead and ask her out. The fact that she's talking to you is a good sign, because most of them get so many messages that they lose track and they will quickly stop chatting if they feel bored by you or get distracted by all the other guys. I get a healthy amount of matches but most of them don't write back, it's frustrating.

>>17860974
>>17860975

I dunno. I guess I just feel a bit intimidated? in a platonic sense I'm fine around girls. I have a few female friends. But, when it comes to "dates" or anything that's more than platonic, I feel intimidated. I'm 25 years old, and extremely inexperienced

>>17860983
I'm actually in a similar boat. I'm 24, not very experienced, I feel intimidated around women, but women seem to "like" me as friends at least. They're incredibly comfortable around me and will touch my arm or shoulder while chatting especially if I make them laugh, but I don't know if this makes me 'good with women' or anything meaningful or if I'm just a harmless beta sap..

>>17860988

That sounds a lot like me Tbh. my female co-workers like working with me, and my female friends feel really comfortable with me, they trust me with some pretty personal shit. But as soon as "attraction" and "romantic" shit comes into play I'm lost. Infact, this just happened recently, but I became friends with this really cute girl, we connected really fucking well. Like, exact same interests and common career track that we were both passionate about. Well she developed a huge crush on me. Even tho I liked her a lot, I ended up pushing her away.. the idea of me having a girlfriend freaked me out. so i pushed her away, and inadvertently fucked up our friendship too, which makes me really sad.

So, that's why I'm very weary about these kind of things. this girl from Tinder, she's really cute, and she's fun to talk to. But I don't know what to do from this point. I just don't know what path to take

>>17860983
>>17861005

>ask her out for a coffee or movies. Dinner can be a bit intimidating
>talk to her of things you've already talked about on tinder and try to develop from there
>look her in the eyes
>if positive reaction, like blushing, smiling or looking back, go for the kiss
>touch her arm when it's adequate, it might be a bit awkward at first but ice will break eventually
>if she ask about past girlfriends or other girls on tinder, be honest
>if she start talking to much about ex boyfriends or other guys, cut it out and change subjects

>>17861021
>>if she ask about past girlfriends or other girls on tinder, be honest

You don't think she'd see it as a red flag if I was honest and said I'm 25 (almost 26) and never had a girlfriend?

>>17861028
Not at all. She might think you're a manwhore, and will probably ask it somehow. Just be honest again, unless you never kissed anyone. Then just lie that you've made out with two or three girls but never had the time to take care of that part of your life

That's not a red flag, at most she'll think you're shy.

Do it. The longer you wait the less likely she is to go out with you. She likes the attention you give her everyday. Just realize that's there's like a 90% chance she's sleeping with guys she's matched with.

>>17861028
She probably won't, if you have your shit together or at least aren't a complete ass. Recently a woman who liked me found out I was single for 5 years at that point and said she was confused because I have my shit together and am fairly good looking (she did have feelings for me, but I wasn't attracted to her and she had a boyfriend so I had to turn her down).

For what it's worth I just read some really practical, solid advice on why guys like us might not have a girlfriend or sex life at least. It doesn't cover every last possibility but it gives you a lot to think about it. Give it a read if you can, should only take a couple minutes.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-top-10-reasons-you-have-no-girlfriend.161590/

>>17861039

I've had sex twice before, years ago.. and they were both bad experiences. and that's the only experience I have with girls..


>>17861041

>Just realize that's there's like a 90% chance she's sleeping with guys she's matched with.

Oh... well, hearing that is not motivating at all..

>>17861041
>Just realize that's there's like a 90% chance she's sleeping with guys she's matched with.

Many women don't even bother to go out with most of the guys they match with and those that do go on a date or two don't necessarily fuck them. There's a lot of incredibly loaded studies and anecdotes that suggest Tinder girls are all huge whores but of the three girls I went on Tinder dates with, one said she is super picky, one said she had only went on a date with one guy other than me, and one said she wasn't getting a lot of matches at all.

inb4 they were all lying in order to cover up their whore status or some shit, believe what you want but you can't just pull "90%" out of your ass like it's some kind of fact, man.

>>17861049

Dude wtf are you doing?

You should ask a girl out the first time you talk to her on tinder. Chat for 3-5 messages, confirm interest, then set a definite date, get the number, and tell her goodnight I'll see you at the date.

The fact that she's still talking to you is incredible, I'm guessing it's because she feels sorry for you or is lonely herself.

And yes, 99% of girls on Tinder have had sex with people they met on Tinder.

You're looking for love in the wrong place, bro. I broke up with my 4 year GF in May this year, and since then I've gone on countless OKC and tinder dates, hooked up with about twelve girls, had two short term girlfriends, and a long term FWB who I recently cut ties with due to the fact that I was having sex with her so often and I know she is having sex with other online dates, so I didn't want to risk STDs.

Sorry man, but you're too good for this scene.

>>17861065

Yeah some girls will tell you that unless they know you're keen to what Tinderellas are really like.

One of the girls I went on a Tinder date with asked me after we had sex if I've done this before. I told her a few times, and she told me how she's seen nine guys that month, and had sex with each of them. She couldn't remember how many guys she had sex with that year, but she had over 2,000 matches.

There's some girls on Tinder who are decent, but I've never met one who was gf material. It's fun for casual dating, not too serious type stuff, or just hook ups, but I do not recommend you look for long term girlfriends on that.

>>17861043

yeah I feel you. I was hanging out with a female friend once and we were just drinking some beer and chilling. We were just bullshitting and she was talking about some guy she hooked up with recently and asked me about my recent hook ups (she for some reason thought i so this) i laughed and didn't reply right away. So she kept pestering me and I told her I haven't touched a girl in just over 5 years and she was so surprised she spit out her drink.

>>17861070

Well, i literally have no other way. If I didn't use tinder, I wouldn't even have girls to text with..

>>17861065

maybe

>>17861079

>and she told me how she's seen nine guys that month, and had sex with each of them.

Fuck..

>>17861079
Lol found my current on tinder, helps that she was the most antisocial person before i took her in (She was like you anons, can talk online but in person she was hopeless, never even went on a ""tinder date"". And i only managed to meet her since we accidentally had a class together). Was her second fuck ever. And dear lord could you tell. But yes she is one of the vast minority, most are just sluts going through the motions.

>>17861085

I understand, bro. I really do.

I know your type. I know what you're looking for. You're not going to find it on Tinder. The only thing you'll find is heartbreak.

I've never met a girl on Tinder who's morals were up to my standards, and my moral standards are pretty fucking low.

You don't need girls to text with. The right women will come into your life at the right time. Tinder is unhealthy in a way, because you can trick yourself into thinking you're doing every thing that you should be doing for yourself because you're communicating with all these women.

You could be unhealthy, out of shape, homeless, no job, and still be able to pull women off Tinder as long as your pics look good and your messaging game is half decent.

Do push ups, get nice clothes, wear a spray of cologne on your neck every day, get a fitting haircut, practice flirting (one of the benefits of Tinder) and go out and meet women in real life. In my experience, the best women rarely have Tinder accounts. Also funny, all the trashiest girls from my High School graduating class have come across my Tinder matches.

>>17861099

Yeah I met a girl like that once. We dated for a month, then she got kicked out of the house she was living in and asked if she could move in with me. I said no, so she told me she's sorry and she had the best time ever with me, but she has no choice but to work things out with her and move in with him and his parents.

>>17861102
Damn sux, we've been going for a good 5 months now. Hoping it aint gonna collapse. But hey shes more into the relationship than me so if it breaks its gonna be me bahhaha. And i aint got a plan B so thats a solid nope.

>>17861101

>The right women will come into your life at the right time.

I've heard this before, but I don't believe it. How is that suppose to happen? Where am I suppose to meet this girl? I can not picture that happening in my daily life.


>Do push ups, get nice clothes, wear a spray of cologne on your neck every day, get a fitting haircut

I already go to the gym, I wear decent clothes, I have a good haircut (at least my female friends like it), I'm interesting enough in the sense that I have a bunch of different life experiences, I've traveled around the world, and am getting into a interesting career.

>>17861110
None of this translates into being able to find a woman unless you're trying to meet them, and the dude has a point. Women on Tinder use it for casual sex but aren't relationship material, not because they are broken people but because they get trapped in the loop of dating and hooking up with new guys and don't want to settle down.

The same girl who told me she's "very picky" with guys also described herself as a "wild flower". I think you can guess what that means. I don't know how many dudes she's slept with and I still doubt the credibility of "90% of her matches" or whatever but even so from conversations with her, looking back it became obvious she's been around the block. Get it?

I don't know what to say to you, or to myself. If you want a woman who hasn't slept around a lot then good luck. Most women and men nowadays I find sleep around. The people who don't are exceptions, not the norm. I am not the biggest fan of it, but I'm slowly realizing that even if I do meet a "nice girl" in 10 years, she'll probably also have spent her 20's hooking up. Almost every girl I talk to mentions sleeping around when younger or dating bad boys etc. There is just no avoiding it, it's too easy for them to get laid all the time so they go with that.

>>17861110

When you least expect it. You gotta trust your life, man. Weird shit happens.

In my experience, the more you try to control things, the worse things turn out. When you just focus on your own happiness, career, goals, and dreams, the rest seems to follow. Women aren't worth chasing, let women come to you.

Sometimes girls will just come near me in public, like if I'm waiting in line or something, and give me a quick glance. The old me didn't think much of it, but girls do that shit. if they are interested in you, they'll put themselves in your orbit. You just have to smile and say hello, ask their name, and don't be afraid to ask her number after a positive interaction.

You can meet girls literally anywhere. The waiting room at the dentist, a coffee shop, a party. The ratio of good quality girls to bad quality girls is much higher out in real life than on Online dating. The girls on Tinder are on Tinder for a reason.

>>17861147

Yeah I know that. Especially at my age, all girls are very sexually experienced.

I'm just starting to think tho. What's the point? Like, should I even bother with women if I'm on a different playing field as them? im not going to have equivalent experience as them, I know that.

and well, Tinder is literally the only way I can meet women anyways. Women don't just pop up in daily life. I honestly think that's just a big meme. Unless you're at uni were you are literally surrounded by girls, girls don't just pop up infront of you.

>>17861184

Yes they do....if a girl walks by you in public, there's a good chance they did it to see if you react because they think you're cute.

If you see a ugly girl, do you make sure you brush shoulders with her? No, you steer fucking clear.

You're just unaware of the women who are sending you signals, and your perceptions are being warped by the false sense of abundance you're finding with Tinder.

>>17861184

Honestly you sound like you need to get laid a few more times to boost your confidence so you can go out and date real women.

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>>17861110
>I can not picture that happening in my daily life.
Did Yoda teach you nothing?

>>17861147
Pretty much. I'm 32, and I think it's kinda weird if the women I hook up with have had less than 30 guys. Women are supposed to test waters before catching the big fish. Men don't test the waters, we swim as long as we find water at all.

>>17861182
>You can meet girls literally anywhere. The waiting room at the dentist, a coffee shop, a party.

I feel like this is a meme. Because I pay attention and I've never seen this. I don't see attractive girls around my age when I go to the grocery store, or when I take my car to get serviced, I don't remember seeing any cute girls in the waiting room when I used to go to therapy. I do pay attention, but I don't see them.

I asked a female co-worker once where she goes to meet people. And of course, she says "bars". She even told me if i want to meet women to go to certain bars. But I hate going to bars, they are expensive as fuck, noisy and crowded. I don't like that scene.

I'm a introvert. When I'm not at work, I go to the gym when it's the least busy, I cook food, watch TV, I go do some class, and maybe once every few weeks or month hang out with friends. and when we hang out, we typically just make food and drink at someone's house. So I don't see how I'm going to meet girls without going drastically out of my way

>>17861201

But I'm not looking for sex..

>>17861197
>if a girl walks by you she thinks you're cute
>if a girl is in your orbit she thinks you're attractive

I don't know man, I feel like this isn't accurate. I've considered that viewpoint but many of the girls I think are just being "nice" or they're just being sociable like they always are. I recently have had more and more women paying attention to me at my job, and at first I thought "yeah I must be getting more attractive, chicks dig me" but I gave it a second thought and went "nah, that's silly, they are probably like this with every dude that's not a complete prick or totally repulsive, it's nothing special". That last part trips me up because I don't see the point in asking for anything when there's guys all around who are just as good of quality as me if not better. What worries me is I see all this girls chatting up tons of dudes and playing the field so much that I just feel like a potential token boyfriend and nothing else. i don't feel special, I don't feel desired or appreciated for my unique traits. Is that wrong? I'm not OP by the way, sorry if I'm hijacking the thread.

>>17861208

Nah, dude, what you're doing is chasing women. Women can sense when you're "on the prowl" and it's very unattractive.

Once you're happy being single and fine with not getting laid often, you'll attract more women. Just give off the vibe that your life is fantastic. You are happy with who you are, and complete as a single man. You don't NEED a girlfriend, but if you meet a girl who interests you, having her join in your life would be great. If not, it's her loss.

Every time I'm in a relationship, girls flirt with me much more often. It's like they can sense when you're not thirsty.

Now that I'm single, I have to remind myself not to chase or search for women, and it works. I go to parties to have fun, not chase girls. I'll have a beer, smoke a joint, laugh with my friends, play some music. If you're DJing, girls come up to you often and ask if you can play them a song. Just play it, say it's a great song, what's your name? And boom, just met a qt.

or I'll just go up to a group of girls, say something casual or witty "Why do you guys look so bored?" "That was crazy, did you see that?" "I wish I had my dog with me." then I'll just smile and walk away. I don't know, it sets you apart. You're going up to girls, and they expect some shitty pick up line or cheesy compliment, but instead you just made them smile and walked away. They'll be saying "who is he? he looks like he's having fun and he's not chasing around girls." Later on it's waaaay easier to go up to them and actually say "Hey I talked to you earlier, what's your name? I love your outfit you look so cute."

After long conversation
>"We should hang out sometime, what's your number?"

repeat with multiple women anywhere you go.

takes a lot of practice, but the more you do it and the more success you have, the easier it becomes.

>>17861197
>if a girl walks by you in public, there's a good chance they did it to see if you react because they think you're cute.

That sounds like a big assumption Tbh

>>17861271

I don't think you understand..

>women can sense when you're on the prowl

I don't see how they could, because I keep to myself, I don't try to get close as possible to girls as soon as I see them (which i don't see them anyways).

>once you're happy being single and fine with not getting laid often.

I mean, ive been single my entire life. and as far as sex goes, I haven't touched a girl in 5 years and I'm not complaining about it. I'm well off when it comes to quality of life.


In your last 2 paragraphs you make it seem so easy to meet girls, which in those instances I'm sure it is. But what you don't understand is, I'm never in those situations that you described. I'm never had a big house party with tons of people, food, drinks and music. In your life, for you, that sounds easy. But that's not my life. I don't have girls around me.

Guys, I have a question. I just got a new camera and I wanted to take a good picture of myself to put on tinder. How should I pose, how should I frame the picture so that girls swipe right? Keep in mind I am a bit overweight

>>17861304

Take the picture outside. it will come out better

>>17861306
where should I go? I have a pretty bright light for it as well, for my video work.

I just never really take pictures of myself

>>17861316

Just outside somewhere where you can get a decent background. I don't know where you live so I can't really recommend anything.

>>17861322
I live in the burbs in fla, pretty boring scenery

>>17861327

Go to the beach, get beach backdrop

>>17861327
Haha shit where at? I'm Tampa Bay myself

gainesville most of the time, but jensen rn