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So I feel I am massively behind in life.
When I was younger there wasn't a day I recall where I was left alone from potential bullying which caused me to essentially shut down and shut out life in my highschool years. I first became a recluse at these years.
When I entered my first time into college my physical health degradation led to mental health degradation as years upon years of elusiveness turned into depression where I was diagnosed by a professional around age 20. It was in the traditional sense where I just shut out all sensations and emotions. While I was prescribed something super strong at first, eventually it was documented as a failure of dosage as it turned my major depression into manic bipolar. Finally at age 21 I cut off medications cold-turkey as I was sick of the continuous chemically numbing sensations that just made me "not me".
At age 22 is when I flunked out of college because I just couldn't get my shit in gear. This is when I entered the workforce as a temp and worked everything from food processing to carpentry. After impressing a few folks from a randomly-submitted resume I managed to land an office position simply by making a fledgling insurance agent feel consoled and comforted. For two years I worked in the insurance industry before deciding I wanted to go back to college and seek a professional route of either environmental toxicology or just to teach/counsel (a suggestion by my grandmother and mother).
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Once again, by random dumb luck throwing my resume out I managed to land a job with a tutoring company the moment I said I was any sort of math/science major. They were literally that desperate for work to hire me without qualifications. I've been with them for a year now and make a rather nice $24 an hour (even if the hours are less) while I now work at a low-risk weekend office position (granted for much less). At the tutor company they say I'm one of the better ones and pair me with quite a few high-income families. (only making me feel more behind as sad as it sounds) These are the types of families that don't even bat an eye to drop me a $60 tip for a short-notice plan, one even so much as dropped $25,000 on the largest hour package they could find without a care in the world.
After seeing my grades hit a decent peak of mostly B's, after all the self-improvement I've done (nearly lost 40 pounds to the dot as well as picked up more hobbies that aren't video games), I just feel so goddamn behind in everything. I feel like I will never catch up with anyone. I feel that all I'm doing is a band-aid fix to the fact that my life is fucked and will forever be fucked because of how much I have yet to do and how late I'm starting.
So help me out here, /adv/, am I truly fucked? Am I behind beyond measure? Is everything I do truly wasted behind the late years of start? Am I simply just biding my time to seem 'useful' before I expire?
Thanks.
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>>17859799
stop thinking about where you are relative to other people. all that leads to is a life of hating yourself.
the top two directors in hollywood both think that the other director is miles ahead of them.
think about where you are, where you want to go, and whats the next step to doing that. then do it.
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>>17859807
But that's the thing, it seems everyone my age at least has a damn degree.
My cousin is even married, my brother (4 years younger) is almost done with his electrical engineering degree. Everyone has all this ground on me, I feel like some odd side-show attraction.
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>So help me out here, /adv/, am I truly fucked? Am I behind beyond measure? Is everything I do truly wasted behind the late years of start? Am I simply just biding my time to seem 'useful' before I expire?
Short answer: no.
Long answer: Successful people have come from every possible situation you can imagine. Even more challenging than yours. Yes, you have big challenges to be where you want to be in life. But so does everybody else, and comparing your pace with theirs is a waste of time and energy.
The alternative to feeling behind is feeling ahead. Try surrounding yourself with people who you used to be. Give advice on the forum to people struggling with problems you've overcome (and you have overcome a lot already). Maybe coach someone in weight loss or one of your new hobbies.
You probably won't believe me, but I'm going to tell you anyway: The quality of your life is not determined by your starting point or ending point, it is determined by your trajectory. Point yourself toward something good, and keep pursuing it with the kind of good faith efforts you've been making, and you will have a good life.
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>>17859833
If you want a degree then go back to school and get one. It really is as simple as that.
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>>17859799
Want to know a case worse than yours?
>27
>Live in a country where having a single professional degree takes at least 5 years, and you must also work on a thesis
>My program takes 5 and a half years
>At least I'd leave at 22-23
>I failed my final class at least twice, which involved 1 and a half extra years
>I then spent a semester in internships
>Started my thesis by the end of last year
>It's been a year from then, this is a lengthy work
>Nearly 10 years studying and can't manage to get a single fucking Bachelor's degree
>Girl contacts me after nearly 5 years
>She's several years younger than me
>Is nearly done with her Masters and will apply for a Ph.D. soon
And I don't consider that I'm anywhere near a failure. One friend of mine told me that she admired my perseverance, and that she would've given up in my place. Yet I decided to persevere despite my situation.
Hope this is of any help.
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how old are you now?
men hit their peak around their 30s, all of this is just part of your journey towards becoming the ultimate you
i wouldn't worry about it, keep striving towards self improvement and stop worrying about others' accomplishments
also read "meditations" by marcus aurelius
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