Living with my best friend

Bad idea. It's okay to be roommates first and friends second, but friends first and roommates second ends in disaster

>>17858949
Also how would it be her first time living alone if she's an orphan and you're the only family she's got (which is what I take you mean by 'I am basically her family')?

I should also mention that right after her parents died I lived with her for a couple of years and it wasn't exactly the best, but not terrible. But (1) we lived at my parents, who basically adopted her (2) she was reasonably awful.

We also spent extensive periods of time together while travelling.

>>17858950
Heh, I have contrasting experiences on this.

>>17858951
Her parents died in 2010. She lived with us till 2012. Then she moved in with her mom's cousin (that she met at the funeral) for a couple of years because he lived close to her university.

>>17858949
Can you keep your roles as friend and landlord separate? Can you be both bad cop (insisting she pay on time, policing her chores) and good cop (offering comfort and support)?

>>17858955
I have no doubt she'd take great care of the house, probably better than I do.

I am concerned about the money, mostly. She's really terrible with it and I am sure she'll be late sometimes. I have been helping her and teaching her how to save, but it's hard with someone who would blow 100$ on useless shit and get in debt for clothes. I don't know how to handle it gracefully.

>>17858949
Do you wanna fug her?

>>17858963
Nope.
I am a straight girl, she is a straight girl as well.

>>17858964
well sometimes straight girls eat each other out, too!

>>17858967
Not exactly our favourite activity when we spend our time together. We are mostly watching tv, cooking or exercising.

>>17858969
>spend our time together
>exercising

scissoring?

>>17858949
>I inherited a flat
Is it paid off or do you rent it to help offset the cost?

>>17859033
It is paid off. It was my grandmother's house, I was her main caretaker for years and I inherited it when she passed away.

It is a fairly big flat with three bedrooms, I rent two rooms and make enough to cover all the expenses - all taxes, all bills and such. I don't basically earn anything from it.
I work part time for all other expenses like food, university fees and car maintenance.
I am 24 and finishing med school.

>>17859048
>I am 24 and finishing med school.
are you cute?

>>17859055
Not particularly. A honest 6.5/10, maybe a 7 if I bother putting make up on.

>>17858949
The only really troubling point seems to be that she needs constant attention. It could be annoying in the long run, while on the rest she can always improve.

IMO it doesn't really look like a bad idea. She might be better than whatever roomate you'd get instead.

>>17859048
Tell her she needs to give you first months rent up front. If she ever misses rent, give her an option to pay it in installments and if she doesn't make them, give her the boot.
Speaking of installments, it might just be easier if you have her pay on a weekly basis since she is so shit with money. $100 a week or whatever it is your charging per month.

>>17859062
>The only really troubling point seems to be that she needs constant attention.
It's one of the things I'm mostly concerned about.
I am shit at setting healthy boundaries so I'm scared that I won't be able to tell her no when she gets needy.
While, right now, I can manage our meetings so I can give her my undivided attention if we live together she will be here all the time and it might affect my studies.

I might have to work over this alone, tho. It's more my problem than hers.

Thank you anyway!

>>17859063
> it might just be easier if you have her pay on a weekly basis
It might be a good idea.

Do you think it'd be good if we can agree that she pays rent right after she gets paid from her job?
She gets paid on the 27th each month. My roommates pay on the 10th, I might ask her to pay me on the 1st so I can be sure she has all the money. Rent would be around 1/3-1/4 of her wage.

>>17859076
>Do you think it'd be good if we can agree that she pays rent right after she gets paid from her job?
I don't see that as unreasonable. As I said though, you should make her pay first months rent up front. That way you know your ass is covered for the next month. From there, tell her rent will be due on (insert date/when she gets paid/etc). She's your friend but you'll also have to become her landlord and you've gotta lay down rules and make sure she understands them.

>>17859056
I'm 26 and losing my motivation to finish grad school. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with my qt gf and get a job when I finished uni instead of running off to the other side of the continent to pursue the goddess of mathematics.
What next? do you get an internship? how long does it take to be a doctor?

>>17859083
Yes, I'll have her sign the same contract I have with other roommates and I always ask for two months of rent up front.
I think it would be a good experience for both of us because we really benefit from having each other in our life consistently, but I cannot handle to work more hours while studying, so housing costs need to be covered.
I'd love to give her a home for free, but right now I cannot really afford it.

>>17859088
I am sorry for your relationship.
I wanted to study maths when I was in high school, I actually applied to medicine courses 3 months before graduating. It was a very sudden vocation, after my grandma got sick and I started taking care of her. I still do like math. So I cannot blame you.

I get an internship when I will finish uni, yes. It will take forever to become a doctor. But I'm very happy with my choice and truly enjoy taking care of others and helping. I like being useful.

>>17858949
>Cons
>Bad with money
>First time living alone
>
Needs constant attention
>Overly emotional

Bad idea. I lived with 4 other people for 3 years in a huge flat, including a very good friend and I can say that if you're not ready to handle money issues all by yourself from the start (that includes playing the cop to be sure everyone pays their rent on time every month, dealing with the landlord, gas, electricity, debts, advances, etc) you'll end up with no friends and money.

Emotional people AND bad at money? Nah man, believe me. I'm open minded and all, but let's say your lease implies each party is responsible for a single, common rent, you're in for quite a ride/

>>17859098
>I'm very happy with my choice and truly enjoy taking care of others and helping. I like being useful.

Maybe that's the difference between us, I chose pure math for my own satisfaction, I was selfish. Your altruism is ultimately more rewarding.

>>17859108
I am the landlord, I own the house I live in and rent two of the rooms to save money.

The contract I have right now says that the roommates pay a fixed amount of money every month that covers their share of all the bills and the rent.
I used last year bills to determine how much money I need to cover all the bills for the whole year, and then divided it by 36 so each one of us pays their share every month. By the end of the lease I either give them money back if we actually spent less than last year or ask them for the extra money if we spent more.
It's like 80$/month per person for all the bills.

If she doesn't pay on time it isn't much of an issue, I just need her to pay eventually. I can't afford to let her live with me for free, I can afford to cover all costs if she is a couple of weeks late.

>>17859110
Definitely.
Don't you enjoy math anymore? No selfish reward in studying it?

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>>17859129
I have forgotten how to enjoy it, used to be, I could spend hours reading Spanier's Topology alone in my room, but like most things done out of pleasure for oneself, there's a point when it no longer feels as good, and other types of pleasure started taking over. I spent most of the last semester hooking up with several girls and my research progress was abysmal. When I started focusing on my work again I saw a photo of my exgf with her daughter and husband on their Instagram, she is so beautiful and happy, all of my friends already have a family, and I haven't accomplished anything :') Now it's hard to finish a theorem without questioning my life choice, "oh great, very elegant, very symmetric, imagine how impressed she must be, maybe she will take me back" lol

>>17859200
Is that your handwriting?

I know how hard it can be when you compare yourself to others and you aren't at the same stage in life as them. I go through my own "let's question all my life choices from elementary school extracurricular activities to the tea I drank this morning" moments a few times a day, and when I see my high school friends getting married and having kids in gets worse.

But don't be so hard on yourself, ultimately you cannot be perfect in every aspect of your life. We're not all that old and we still have time to get a family, even if we keep being selfish and try to excel professionally for a few years. I always tell myself that if I stopped working on myself now I would be an unhappy person later. I definitely do want to have a family and kids, but I don't want to be 55, have my kids move out and not have anything left. I want to build something by myself, for myself, that I can enjoy for life. If it makes any sense to you.
It is normal to be a bit discouraged at times, and I wish I could actually help you with it - ultimately what gives me joy is finding the beauty in the things I do, like the way my grandma looks at me when I explain to her how her heart pills work.
I doubt you stopped loving math, maybe you just need to spend some time falling in love with it again.

I am overly sentimental today, heh.

>>17859224
>Is that your handwriting?

No, it's from Mochizuki, my idol back in 2014, and I am studying his note once again, back then I did not have the maturity to understand it.

Thank you for your kind words. Is your roommate studying the same thing as you?

>>17859249
No, she studied accounting but dropped out recently. She's pretty smart, but she has never put much effort into her studies. She's working as a waitress.
I've always been the bookworm, she is the pretty one.

Would you like to talk over kik? I don't want to keep bumping the thread.