what can i get my loser meth head brother for christmas that

>>17858404

a bible

>>17858404
Fill up his vehicle with gas? A ticket to a rehab facility?

Tough call man, hope he gets help someday.

Magazine subscriptions

Burial plot because he will be dead soon enough.

chocolates or maybe a gift card

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>>17858410
gross no.

>>17858411
fuck filling up his car with gas. he stole my car the other night to do who knows what and i'm pretty angry about it. he keeps refusing rehab.

>>17858412
lol maybe. thanks for the suggestion :)

>>17858427
pretty dark. what do they run? probably quite a bit lol.

>>17858433
candy is good but i'm seriously concerned about his oral (and overall) health. my dad's getting him a nice and expensive toothbrush which was a great idea.

The most brutal gift of all

NOTHING

>>17858404
Buy him meth. He'll appreciate it more than anything and likely won't sell it meth.

>>17858443
>>fuck filling up his car with gas. he stole my car the other night to do who knows what and i'm pretty angry about it. he keeps refusing rehab.

Oh well fuck getting him anything. Don't reward bad behavior. I'd say he needs his ass kicked but that would probably just strain the family further. And as a meth addict, odds are he will have that coming anyway kek.

>>17858477
This.

>>17858443
The bible is not gross. Gays and Trannys are gross

that's easy. give him something to do together. like go play laser tag or something.

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>>17858484
i don't fucking know anymore. the family therapist we were all going to about it said he needs to hit rock bottom before he WANTS to change. and we should be doing what we can to "bring the bottom up to him" by like not giving him shit or enabling his shit behavior. but christmas is my dad's favorite time of year.

he's done more terrible things recently too. my dad loves It's a Wonderful Life and called me today to let me know that my brother admitted to stealing that DVD (which was a christmas gift from me a while back) and a bunch of others to pawn. we want to have a nice family christmas and for it to be relatively normal but this is hard.

so your parents raised a meth head and a transgender? they sure seem like very competent parents...

>>17858500
There's resources out there for people that have been in this situation. I suggest you look those up. You won't get much help here.

I hope he gets better and your family stitches back up. Your dad sounds like a great guy and I'm sorry he has to see that.

>>17858519
yeah my dad's the best :)

idk i'm sincerely looking for christmas gifts and 4chan can help with that. he likes video games, batman, and stuff. this looked really nice except for the ears and they don't have his size:

https://www.amazon.com/Extra-Large-Batman-Arkham-Hoody/dp/B016HIRAZG/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1481783688&sr=1-1&nodeID=7147441011&keywords=batman+hoody

maybe like some nice clothes or something would work but he might try to sell them.

>>17858519
i'm not sorry for that dad. he has brought this on to himself. that's why you have to work on your problems. so you don't give them to your kids.

he should have seeked help long ago. there probably were enough warning signs that his parenting isn't cutting it, even when the kids were very small.

however, it is what it is now. addicction is not something a lot of people can just overcome.
we all have the drive to excess in us. but if we try to replace something that's missing with something destructive like meth, then it will slowly but surely kill us.
mostly, what it is that is missing is a sense of being worthy of love.

so, faerie, if you want to give your brother the biggest gift he could ask for, try to make him feel worthy of love. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! not "i will love you, once you are clean". "i will love you, once you go to rehab". "i will love you, if you get your shit together". "i will love you if you pay back your depts".
make him feel that you love him with all his god damn crap. that you don't approve of his behaviour but that doesn't change your love in the slightest. because i strongly suspect that your parents love wasn't unconditional. he needs that. that's what made him an addicct in the first place. and it is almost impossible to get unconditional love, once you aren't a child anymore. and it is even less possible if you are a fuck up because you didn't even get it from the most likely source: your mom and your dad.

>>17858572
You're making lots of assumptions about someone you don't know. It's hard to believe but not every single issue that a kid has is attributed to bad parenting. Some kids are just shit man.

>>17858578
nope. no kid is just shit. there is always a pin somewhere. sometimes it is just hidden very well.

>>17858572
if he wants unconditional love he can get that from my mom. that's what she does, even now. and she keeps buying him stuff. my dad can't seem to stay mad at him either and lets him live there even after all the destruction/theft of property and incidents with the police.

he'll get sincerity and tough love from me. i think dad should change the locks and tell him to fuck off but it never happens.

>>17858596
that is all nice and well, but it is by no means an indicator of unconditional love. it might just be a sign of weaknes

>>17858621
what are you even talking about.

>>17858638
you think the fact that your mom buys him shit and your dad lets him stay is a sign of unconditional love but it is not. it MIGHT be, but the fact that he is a meth head strongly suggests that he isn't getting what he would need so i would be very cautious about assuming their love is not conditional.

>>17858585
Do you seriously believe that? What about kids born as psychopaths? Is that the parents fault?

I'm not understanding why you deal in absolutes. Of course I agree with you that parenting is the number one factor but kids eventually turn into adults and adults make bad decisions own their own all the time.

>>17858404
Food. Get him some cheese and jerky, or whatever you can think of that he likes that is a little more premium than bags of chips.

>>17858646
there are kids who are born with deficites, yes. but we're talking down syndrome here. everything else is learned.

that's because i do believe that this is the one absolute that holds true.
sure, kids have different personalities and temperaments. but if they would grow up without damage, they would all turn into perfectly sane adults, just slightly more active or passive, intro- or extroverted. but i have yet to meet a absolutely mentally healthy adult.

and what do you think are those decisions based on? on the mental abolity we have. and what do you think that came from? from neurological pathways that formed in early childhood? and what do you think made them grow in that exact pattern? how the world reacted to us. and what do you think was the most influental source for reactions to learn from? yup, our primar caregivers. it fucking matters if your parents tought it was a good idea to let you "cry it out" or uf they did a sprint everytime you let out a wimper. it matters if yous spilling the milk was a reason to slap you or was just "something that happens to everyone". it matters if your first word was reason enough to calm up grandma or if nobody really gave a flying fuck.

>>17858644
well idk. my parents didn't treat us very differently growing up and i turned out fine mostly. mom's love has always been suffocating, and still is. dad's love was reasonable and warm.

>>17858656
now that is a great idea. maybe like a massive amount of jerky, if i can find that somewhere. thanks :)

>>17858665
You seem to have parenting all figured out. Why don't you write a book about it and solve all these problems?

You are taking a very complicated thing and trying to fit it to your narrow ideas. Life isn't nearly as simple as you are making to be. You act if everything that can potentially shape a person is all done in childhood, and that's an outright lie.

>>17858671
yeah, mostly. different kids react different to the same kind of upbringing. that is not an i dicator either. and it is entirely possible that one kid gets unconditional love and the other doesn't. suffocating definitely isn't what is healthy. and the fact that your dad might be capable of such love is possible. but that doesn't help your brother all that much, since he might have needed your moms love more desperately. i don't know your family history or can see into your parents or your brothers hearts. all i want to say is that no matter what, your brother would surely be very happy if he got some more of it from you.

how about you give him some food that you made yourself? this way you gift your time and effort.

>>17858679
i never said i have figured it all out.not even closely.

but you seem.

i am always open for new insights and different approaches. if you can make them sound plausible enough...

>>17858684
A kid could have a perfect childhood, and still grow up and be pushed by external forces or their own and make a bad decision. People are constantly being shaped and changed even after childhood is over.

>>17858682
no one ever seems to like my cooking because it's hardcore healthy and always spicy.

and uh. we were mostly raised by mom, seeing dad every other weekend and during summers. so it was mostly this constant suffocating love with a lot of being spoiled. as adults we spent more time with dad because mom had to move out of state for work.

idk.

>>17858500
Is your brother a maintenance user or an escalating user?

Does the family therapist draw a distinction? Because the distinction matters. Rockbottom doesn't do shit for maintenance users, shame doesn't get to them either-- your brother is a guy that can justify stealing sentimental items from family to support his habit, and since his teeth are bad it sounds like he's smoking it. Escalating users are actually much more likely to seek treatment and much more likely to succeed (probably because they are the most likely to inject and therefore the most likely to come crazy close to dying on a regular basis.)

>>17858692
yes, sure. but we're not talking about bad decisions of the size of"wrong investment of savings". we're talking about lifedestroying inabilities to be a functional human

>>17858720
i'm not sure what the difference is. and i don't know what his habits are now. other than being a meth user he's an alcoholic. for a while he was drinking a fifth of vodka every single day. he still drinks a lot but hides it so we don't know how much.

>>17858724
besides, i have yet to meet a person who's only problems are of minor nature and don't have much deeper roots.

wow why is jerky so expensive.

i was gonna buy him a vape for christmas because he's wanted to use mine and i won't let him, but after hearing about the DVDs i think he'd just pawn it :/

>>17858500
aww who's that qt in ur pic

>>17858746
because it is quality meat and takes ages to dry?

bake him a childhood fav. get over it having to be "healthy and spicy" for the sake of him

>>17858753
that was me on halloween.

>>17858757
i don't even know how to make unhealthy foods. and his childhood favorites would be like hot pockets and pizza :/

>>17858760
something sweet? christmas cookies? a pie? don't use excuses. you google a recipe and follow it. it's like building legos. you are capable of that

>>17858760
do you have a dick?

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>>17858764
look i'm plenty capable of cooking, but it's not a good gift idea i don't think. he doesn't care at all about food as long as he gets some sometimes. he takes my dad's food all the time. he never seems impressed or even happy with family meals. like he just wants to get away from us as soon as he can.

>>17858727
Maintenance users treat their drugs like a daily medication prescription, the amount will vary but they feel they need to get off and usually have a kind of daily routine around their use. Escalating users treat getting off like a hobby, some will get a fix (or fixes) multiple times a day, but they can choose to back off or change things up (usually to achieve a more intense fix later.) A user can go through maintenance and escalation cycles on one or more substances (like meth and alcohol) but most users tend to lean towards one style of use more than others-- but those are the two main groups. Maintenance users usually have a lot of anxiety or pain issues when they are sober, and of course doctors don't want to give pills to ease anxiety or pain to a proven substance abuser.

From what little I've read (I read the thread but I'm not in your shoes, no one here is so take any advice that sounds helpful and use it, leave the rest-- it's all noise) he sounds like a maintenance user. I would make a nice coupon for something like "a night of bowling with Dad!" or "Let's go to a Movie!" in Word, print it out, glue glitter on it and put it in a gift box and wrap it. Let him sell it, I'm sure his dealer would love to go bowling with your family or see a movie as your treat.

It's not on you to fix or cure your brother. I'm glad you're a decent human being that cares about your parents and brother. Keep yourself sane Anon, from a distance if need be.

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>>17858771
he hates spending time with us. it's all a chore to him.

and yeah sometimes it is hard to stay sane when i'm around him. once he showed up with these huge gashes and was dripping blood all over and i had to spend most of the night with him in the hospital. and had work at 6am. turned out his crazy bitch girlfriend had stabbed him and slashed his tires. and he gets fucking angry when he's drunk or coming down from the meth and gets violent. gave me a nasty black eye once and ruined one of my shirts with all the blood. he breaks windows, paintings, household appliances. punches holes in the walls and tears doors off their hinges. he stole and pawned all my consoles and games.

i'm so sick of his shit and i don't understand why our parents still put up with him.

>>17858404
brand new meth pipe

or

a cheap tie that costs less than 10$ put it in a nice box

tell him he can wear it to his first NA meeting

I just had. Really vivid nightmare about my brother dying and all this guilt and fear and stuff. It actually really shook me.

Fuck I hate this.

>>17859285
do you have nudes?

>>17859287
What is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my thread.

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>>17858404
get him a fucking noose. meth heads deserve to die.

>>17858404
1. Nothing
2. Ammo (for his carry firearm)
3. Quality pipe cutters (for vacant buildings to collect copper)
4. One of those t-shirts with the diagonal line to simulate wearing a seat belt (to avoid getting pulled over for "no reason")
5. A phone number to a crossdresser on craigslist that sucks dicks for hits of the pipe

>>17858404
A visit from the polis

>>17858410
i dont think toilet paper is on his xmas list

Lol your brother is just going to be pissed when he gets these gifts he can't do shit with and probably act like an even bigger dick.

You all need to let the meth head go

A puzzle. Something to keep his hands busy.

>>17859338
>3
lol.They work well on new developments too.

>>17859285
damn it. i once had a very realistic dream of my sister getting kidnapped. i had to call her right away. those dreams really suck

>>17858404
Meth


He won't sell it for drugs

>>17858784
>he hates spending time with us. it's all a chore to him.

Yeah, being around sober people is a burden on users but that is what it is, it takes a lot of mental energy for them to put up the front they want you to see.

The coupon idea is just one of those things that says "I care" but isn't exchangeable for drugs or money.

>>17858475
I don't know why but this made me lol hysterically

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>>17858488
fag

>>17858404
rehab