Why does it hurt so much?

>>17854809
that's horrible

some key sentences you typed....

>So they gave me an ultimatum and i reluctantly complied.

maybe it is time for you to revisit this decision. knowing what you know now, would you still have moved with that person ?

>My partner became almost entirely immersed in some online community, basically only marginally concerned about
what i was going through.

> I'm confused if i should stay and keep trying because its been so long

why keep throwing your life away on a failed relationship ? it kind of reads like your "partner" doesnt really care about you too much and you are just something in his/her life, kind of like a pet, if you leave then they will just get another one
this is a major red flag, not the online comm stuff but that your "partner" ceased caring about you as a person & what is happening to you

as you get older you will defintely hit more shit in your life and if your "partner" does not help you deal with it, what the fck good are they ?

>>17854832

Thank you for your response. I've thought about these things too but i get hung up on our history and the better parts of it.

They do little things that make me think they care.I just don't feel like a big priority to them anymore.

An example would be when we went out the other night and it was time to go home they wanted to stay out to drink more so i went home alone.
i guess it sounds even worse when i type it out

>>17854856
well hmmm

trying to change somebody else is very difficult, it's even difficult to change yourself etc

so trying to think of things you can do to "change" your partner may not be a successful way to deal with this, or couples counseling ?

what do you want in the future ? to marry this person ? to date them for awhile ? maybe it is time to find somebody new ?

or maybe tell your partner you need some "space" to evaluate your self, your future and this relationship - altho this is almost always a 1st step towards total breakup

you're right to think about what a new person may be like, it's not that easy to start over but its also not easy to accept - this is what your partner is like for the rest of our lives

otherwise idk

reddit has some relationship advice 4ms maybe post there get more feedback from females, also they have registered ids so usually much lesss trolling

>>17854881

Tyvm anon. Maybe i need more time to decide

>>17854809
Talk more.
Communicate more.
State exactly what you are thinking, what the problems are, and why they matter to you.
This "you didn't read my mind and take hints so I'll just break up with you" meme needs to fucking die already.
Practice total openness of communication.

>>17855742

I do communicate openly. I've brought it up multiple times. Word for word expressed how i felt about the move and how its affected me. Said i was unhappy and the reasons why.
Brought up multiple times how i felt alone and they get mad and use it as an excuse to walk off and not talk about it
Then just pretend nothing happened later on.
I'm not one of those people that stews on something, never talking about it.
My partner is

>>17856587
Ok then it sounds like he isn't doing enough to try to accommodate your needs. Perhaps try going to social events or other outings together. And definitely do keep looking for a higher-paying or more satisfying job, and keep in touch with old friends. Personally I wouldn't move for a partner unless I were able to line up a comparable job and already had friends in the area (SF, NYC, Boston, Chicago, maybe Seattle, etc). But that's just me.