Thread replies: 11
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
File: 1368150015842.jpg (269KB, 480x960px) Image search:
[Google]
269KB, 480x960px
How to reassure a jealous woman or at least help her realize her irrationality?
My girlfriend tends to be very suspicious of me/ jealous.There are instances where I can see some reason to the jealousy, such as my ongoing communication with exes. I'm the type of person who sees the end of a romantic relationship as final, but I can understand why and how that could be misconstrued as inappropriate, so I've cut communication. There was also a case where I had an ironic, suggestive pet name set as the contact in my phone for a female friend (a running joke among our entire friend group for years), but this too I explained and changed.
My concern is that it seems to be building. She even seems bothered when I interact with her younger sister. Recently she has begun to express anxiety about my attempts to be friendly with members of her friend group. She displays overreactions nearly every time I go out with groups of friends, implying that I'm somehow deceiving her about what we are doing or where we are going (even when I extend an invite to her). She's always wanting to know who I'm with, and if I have plans that change she assumes that I was plotting the change from the start as part of another deception. It's as if she looks at every female friend of mine as competition, getting upset when I text them, even when I show her the texts and they're completely innocent.
I hate to see her so bothered by me doing what I consider to be normal things. I know she has to put some effort in as well, but is there anything I can do to give her more security?
>>
continued
I'll add a little disclaimer as well, just to say that I don't generally pick up my phone around her, I like to give my girl my undivided attention, but if I'm waiting for her to get ready or come out of the bathroom I'll respond to a text message. The other night we were having a really good time together until she walked up to me responding to one text from a female friend while waiting for her, she completely overreacted even while I listened to her calmly and agreed that it was impolite to be texting in the setting, (I didn't touch my phone for the rest of the night) but she just wouldn't let it go. She sent me walls of messages about it the next day. I wont pick up my phone around her anymore. I try my best to reassure her, but I don't know how much further I'll have to go.
I assume she's been burned by infidelity before, which would explain her feelings partially, but I just need to know if there's a way for me to get through to her and at least earn a little more of her trust.
>>
Finally
I quite like this girl so no "break up with her" advice please. We all know that's an option, but it's not one I want to explore. In simple summery we have great compatibility, I've lived through enough to recognize when something just fits. She's beautiful, intelligent, skilled, warm, funny (the whole package really). This is the one point of contention.
>>
>>17854710
>at least help her realize her irrationality?
This is impossible
Jealousy comes from fear
Fear of losing
Fear of inadequacy
Fear of past occurring again
Possibly fear of being found out themselves (cheaters worry about cheaters a lot)
This is my method, and it has always worked for me, that's all I'm going to say, criticize if you'd like
>The way you assure a woman that you are loyal is to say you need to talk
>She automatically is going to assume this is bad, this is ok and will work to your benefit
>Once you sit her down you have to first acknowledge her feelings.
>Tell her you understand why she could feel this way while being sincere about it. bring up a previous action and reaction here
>then reassure her.
>if I wanted to be with someone else I would be, but I choose you and I wouldnt have it any other way
>throw in a joke to ease the tension and make her smile
>shit if Ariana grande was ON MY bed, NAKED I'd be like nuh uh bitch I got me a real one and run my ass to your place (this sounds cheesy but girls are dumb and it's only an example)
>then tell her that this doesn't mean she can't ever get jealous again but just to tell you directly when she feels a way so you can work through it together
>then you fuck her to seal the deal while she says I love you
>>
>>17854769
yeah I'll just say some more cheesy shit like that and hope it sticks.
>>
bamp pls respond fampai
>>
I would advise your girlfriend to find someone who does not gaslight her! You cannot say in one instance she is being irrationally jelous, when you are literally texting your exes and other girls! I hate when guys try to accuse their girlfriends of being unjustifiably anxious or jealous, when they give their girlfriends reasons to be jealous. Her jealousy is completely valid, because you talking to other people suggests some sort of emotional infidelity. Females get more angrier and frustrated by emotional infidelity, and males get more upset about physical infidelity. If you want to continue your relationship with this person, stop talking to other people. If you cannot stop talking to other people, then end the relationship.
>>
>>17855158
Can't tell if poorly executed sarcasm or being serious
>>
It's obviously some deep seated fear. Try talking it out, but be warned, it's probably not going to change.
>>
>>17855166
You gave her reasons to feel threatened, so now she is not as confident in the relationship. But you thinking she is insane, rather than admitting some of your own fault, is not helping your problem. Ask yourself, how can you genuinely restore her confidence in the relationship?
>>
>>17855181
I'm not OP. Just a femanon hoping to give him some help.
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1