Texting Issue

>>17854170
Idk man I feel like if a girl really wants to text a guy she finds time
Sounds a little bit like an excuse

I'm not saying she doesn't like you, she does seem to but she probably is not at the level of attraction you feel for her and/or has another guy that she's talking to more often

>>17854186
>a girl really wants to text a guy she finds time

That's a concern as well, but she's been like this since we started messaging. She'd send me a message one day. I'd respond the next. Sometimes she'd respond the next day; others she'd wait almost a week.

She gave me her number without prompting and has met me in person twice. Would she waste that kind of time on a guy she had no interest in?

>>17854170
Bump.

>>17854211
>>17854186
>I'm not saying she doesn't like you, she does seem to

That being said maybe she is really busy and doesn't text much

But I would bet that there's another guy she's more interested in currently

That doesn't mean you can't fuck her or date her

Try setting a time to call or FaceTime or something that way she can plan around her schedule and you can actually have a conversation without her ducking

Well, you're doing it wrong, m8.

The first date should have gone perfect. You should have been asking her questions, having her do 90% of the talking, then kissed her at the end of the night.

Then, she'll text you in 1-3 days saying she had a great time or just to say "hey." That's her signalling you to ask her out on another date.

We're not 12 years old anymore, nobody wants to text someone they barely know. Texting is for arranging dates and arranging dates only, no chit chat.

If you're texting her random pointless shit and beating around the bush instead of just saying "Hey, I had a great time Friday night. When are you free to get together again?" then of course she's not going to waste her time on you.

>Meet girl on OKC
>3-5 casual messages max.
>"We should get together sometime, what's your schedule like?"
>"Okay, how about Friday at 8? Meet me at this place?"
>"Sounds great! Looking forward to meeting you!"
>Go on date
>have fun
>Hook up
>She texts you within 3 days, otherwise you text her
>Arrange next date immediately, no small talk over the phone/text.
>Meet at said time at said destination
>No texting in between now and day of date unless she texts you. If she does text you, ignore for 24 hours then respond "Hey, sorry my phone was dead. Looking forward to Friday!"

Never ever ever ever ever chase women. You want them to chase YOU. how do you do that? By doing exactly what I said. You're training her to know that if she texts you, you'll arrange another date. The more dates you go on, the more often she'll be chasing you because she knows you won't text her like a beta and she needs to reach out to you for her to see you.

Stop wasting people's time. Especially people who use online dating have no time to waste on men who don't know the basics of modern dating.

>>17854291
Good points, but I don't fool around outside of relationships, and dating her would complicate finding a real girlfriend.

I'm a bit awkward over the phone and don't want to come off as needy by asking to call her.

>>17854304
>Well, you're doing it wrong, m8.

If by wrong, you mean I'm not a red pill swallowing pick-up-artist then yes. I'm dead wrong and happy to be.

I communicate better through text than in person. That's how I roll. Most of the women I've dated have been the same way. I'm looking for a girlfriend, not a lay.

Grow up yourself.

>>17854327
>I'm a bit awkward over the phone and don't want to come off as needy by asking to call he

>If we meet up a third time, my plan is to talk to her in person at the end about a better way to communicate with her

This seems needy to me also but I guess it's you're only option besides not addressing the issue

>>17854352
Why does it seem needy?

How would you go about addressing the issue?

>>17854327
Good luck finding a girlfriend by meeting strangers and treating them like they're your girlfriend. It never works, it's a horrible idea.

You have to grow into the phase of casual texting. You have to AT LEAST have sex once before you are on casual texting terms, and even then it is needy. Work on your in person communication, you sound like a woman.

I'm trying to help you and you're getting defensive. You came here asking for advice, and I'm telling you exactly why you're experiencing what you're experiencing.

Think about how many guys girls see on online dating sites....You're one out of 20 who are constantly texting her, what makes you stand out? Nothing.

Girls gravitate to guys who are the most okay with them not being around. You are the definition of neediness if you are upset that she's not responding to your boring "so wyd" texts.

Texting is for setting dates, period. If you want a girlfriend, follow my advice. Arrange definite date, avoid communication until said date, have great date, hook up, repeat. Within 1-3 months she will bring up "the talk" where she asks if she is your girlfriend. That's how you get a girlfriend. You never bring up relationship talk, it's not your job. Your job is to take her out and have fun.

>that's how I roll
So....being a needy beta male is a lifestyle now? Remember this: Scarcity creates value. When you're constantly texting her without arranging dates, you're not valuable. She knows what she's gonna get with you. You're not giving her the space and time for her feelings for you to grow. Women NEED to wonder about you. The more you text her and talk to her over the phone, the less excited she is to see you and the less you have to talk about in person.

>>17854376
Hahaha. I match her response time. Unless I'm confirming that we're meeting up, I don't text her back, let alone the day of.

Not my job? Please go back to r9k and pretending to be Chad.

>>17854376
He's saying he prefers a girl that likes a needy beta (in your eyes) and is willing to go on 100 dates to find one

Think Ted Mosby vs. NPH but probably even less cool than ted

>>17854386

>confirming to meet up

You're fitting all the stereotypes of a beta male, dude. NEVER confirm a date, ever. You set a definite date, time, and place, then you show up. Texting her "hey, still on for tonight" communicates "I get stood up often by women, you're not standing me up, right?"

No. Stop fucking doing that. I've had so many women tell me "wow, I didn't think you'd show. Most guys usually text me to confirm if we're still meeting." then I'll just say "I'm a man of my word" with a smile.

You HAVE to stand out with online dating, and dating in general. I'm not trying to degrade you, bro. I'm trying to help you. Obviously you're not happy with your situation since you are here asking for advice.

Take my advice, you'll see results, I promise. Stop being so fucking predictable. You're so set in your ways but at the same time admitting they're not working by stating you can't get a text back or find a gf.

>>17854390


hahaha holy shit you're so right. He's looking for a girl that's okay with him being a beta orbiter, because he has no social skills and can only communicate with moderate effectiveness through texts.

Pretty sad, OP. Please take my advice, stop doing this to yourself.

>>17854170
very simple
ask if she's okay with giving you her email address, and use that instead

also learn to accept that (from her, anyways) sometimes an immediate response isn't always going to happen

best of luck!

>>17854404
That's a good idea. I'm not expecting an immediate response, but waiting four days for a text is unreasonable. I've never received an immediate response from her.

Thank you.

>>17854416
I'm going through something similar right now OP, and I've been on both sides. Do you really believe that someone is SO busy that they can't take the 30 seconds it takes to text you back? When someone doesn't want to communicate with you at least within the same 12-24 hour period, it means that you're not a priority. I had a FWB for a bit that really wanted us to be more, and I didn't see her that way. She blew me up constantly, and I'd get back to her occasionally. That's because I didn't want to deal with that shit, and I didn't think of her as relationship material. That's where you're at with this chick right now. You're good enough to keep on the hook, but there's no real commitment or interest. Even if that weren't the case, would you really be happy in a relationship where you can't communicate how you want? I'd accept my losses and move on, but you give off an air of being kind of desperate so your mileage may vary

>>17854426
To be fair, I didn't start responding right away until recently. Most of the time I text back within an hour, but with her taking forever I don't feel the urge.

I've been more desperate lately because I'm getting older. I haven't had a woman approach me in awhile, which is usually how I end up in relationships, and have lost most of my friends because of mental issues, which I'm only now starting to recover from. Finding a girlfriend is a priority. When I meet someone that I have a lot in common with...well...I'm willing to take a risk.

But at this point I'm more in the accept my losses and move on realm. I decided to take a day to think about it and query advice. Since she didn't give me anything to go on with the last text, I didn't plan on responding anytime soon. Maybe I'll wait for her and if she never texts me back I'll call it a loss and keep looking around.

>>17854451

OP if you don't take these anon's advice >>17854304
>>17854376
>>17854398

You're doomed to dying single. You just admit what you've been trying isn't working, women aren't noticing you anymore. You are in denial that everything you think you're doing right is wrong. Please....listen to these anons....I've heard advice similar to theirs before and it really does work.

Women above age 18 have no interest in chit chat over the phone. They want to meet you in person and FEEL the chemistry. Texting is impersonal and boring.

You gotta reinvent yourself, OP. Listen to the wise words of the posts I linked, they are 1000% true. call it "redpill" but it's the truth, there's nothing "redpill" about the idea that women who are older have no time to waste on guys who don't take the initiative and be the man in the relationship. Nobody wants to date a clingy orbiter. You're basically acting how females act in relationships. Try to turn the tables so how you're acting is how they're acting. You want to be the one who is being chased, not doing the chasing.

>>17854426
>>17854451
some people are VERY bad at texting

they simply didn't learn how, or they think there's some kind of etiquette to it that they don't grasp, or they constantly write, reread, delete, and rewrite their texts to it takes ages for them to respond

it may not be a very likely thing, but these people get unreasonably anxious texting and the like, and their silence isn't so much "I just don't care to respond to you" but rather "I am afraid of saying the wrong thing and am freezing up, please give me a week to think of the best way to respond"

if this is something you're hung up over OP, why not do some light prying next time you have the chance? if she's admitted that she's a bad text-conversationalist, then maybe there's a bit more going on behind the scenes? even if she's busy at her job, like the above anon said, multiple DAYS for a response is just neglegance.

if you fuck up then no biggie, count your losses and move on. BEST CASE is that you hit the nail on the head and can reach some sort of compromise with her, which would be a fantastic step forward for your relationship

remember that no matter what, be it in person or over the phone, that tactfulness is key. try not to step on her toes over it, but make it known that the time it takes for her to respond to someone she's supposedly interested in is a bit troubling, and once again, good luck!

>>17854484

Horrible advice.

"Why don't you respond to my texts fast enough?"

Can you get more needy than that? Wtf you guys....

Femanon here: Texting does not increase attraction, it actually decreases it. The only way to really bond with someone is to meet in person and talk. You're wasting your life if you think you'll text a girl into a relationship with you. Just ask us out and quit being pussies.

>>17854484
IME when someone says that they're bad at texting, it's code for "I'm bad at texting YOU, but don't want to have to explicitly say that". In fact, I've even used that excuse myself when I didn't want to have to deal with someone on the regular

>>17854505
>Texting does not increase attraction, it actually decreases it.

Thank you for the advice. I wasn't aware. It was the opposite with the last two women I dated.

>>17854513
Yeah. Thank you for the advice. Monday morning I asked her if she wanted to get dinner at some point next week because I'm busy this week and weekend. Today evening she texted back that we'll hang out next week. My plan is to wait and see if she texts back. If not, fuck it. I'm done. Trying this hard is exhausting. I'd rather be at the gym working out and getting back into shape.

>>17854505
>Texting does not increase attraction, it actually decreases it

Is your only source your vagina or can you post a link

Bumping once before I go to bed.

>>17854683
Most of the time I detest that type of post, but he has a point.

>>17854767
I have dated a lot of 18 year olds
My dating view may be skewed

>>17854398
>>17854376
>>17854352
>>17854304

I'm not OP, but this is genuinely useful advice. It is appreciated, by me at least. I've been re-adjusting after a breakup from a 3 year relationship and it seems like the dynamics have gotten worse since that time. Or maybe it was just easier in college, idk. Anyway this is good stuff.