How do I get over my ex?

You're doing the right thing by doing no contact.

The problem is no contact isn't enough. You have to actively improve yourself and your life during no contact.

The goal right now is to become happy without him. Find peace in your alone time, pursue your hobbies, spend time with friends, and this is a big one: go on dates.

I've suffered oneitis in the past, the condition of being attached to one person so much that you can't fathom ever falling in love with someone at the same level. The cure is to meet someone who triggers similar chemical reactions in your brain. It doesn't have to be "the one" but just having fun with other members of the opposite sex will help you recover from the chemical imbalance you're experiencing right now.

Try to fix any unhealthy behavior, like cyber stalking them, self-loathing, drinking too much, etc. Right now is the time to change your mindset to "He lost out, I'm fucking awesome."

We all have phases in our life where we are single, and it's important to remember to not be affected negatively by it. The most important relationship is the relationship you have with yourself.

My last relationship was four years, ended in May. I didn't start to get over it until late October. I had to go out on a lot of dates, fuck lots of girls (don't recommend, just made me miss her more.) and shift my priorities to myself.

I'm male, though, so I can't really say the same. But every time you resist the urge to text him, you'll grow stronger.


But since you are the one who did the dumping, he's right not to contact you. Since you broke up with him, it has to be YOUR idea to get back together. Remember that.

>>17854104
Thank you for the replay anon! Really good advices and they are even more useful considering you went through the same experience i'm trying to recover from!

I used to contact him like once a month, but i realized i never really made it clear i wanted to get back. I felt like if i would get rejected it could sting even worst. Last time i spoke to him he said he was talking to another girl but still preferred to be alone. It kinda made me realize I should definitely do the same, find someone interesing that will distract me and focus on myself.
I'm doing a lot better since the last couple of months. And the worst thing is that when I would feel happy or excited about something, i would instantly feel sad because he's not there and i can't share it with him.
fml

>>17854167

Sounds like you really dig this guy, op ;D

Yeah my advice is bring up a friendly get together, like a hike or coffee or something.

If you ask and he rejects you, the tables are turned. You just say "No worries, it'd be nice to see you sometime in the future. Take care!" and go full no contact. He may contact you in a few weeks, maybe a month, maybe three months, who knows. But since you dumped him, you have to be the one who says they want to meet up. The dumpee always has to be the won that tries to win the other back. If he rejects your idea of meeting up, you walk away and never look back. If this happens, which I hope it won't, I hope you guys can work things out, then the no contact will have it's positive effects be more apparent because at least you tried!

OP I would like to offer you a quote.

>Have you ever played chess, Kitty?”
I eyed her. What did a board game have to do with this? “Not really.” “You and I should play sometime. I think you would like it,” she said. “It’s a game of strategy, mostly. The strong pieces are in the back row, while the weak pieces—the pawns—are all in the front, ready to take the brunt of the attack. Because of their limited movement and vulnerability, most people underestimate them and only use them to protect the more powerful pieces. But when I play, I protect my pawns.” “Why?” I said, not entirely sure where this conversation was going. “If they’re weak, then what’s the point?” “They may be weak when the game begins, but their potential is remarkable. Most of the time, they’ll be taken by the other side and held captive until the end of the game. But if you’re careful—if you keep your eyes open and pay attention to what your opponent is doing, if you protect your pawns and they reach the other side of the board, do you know what happens then?” I shook my head, and she smiled. "Your pawn becomes a queen.” She touched my cheek, her fingers cold as ice. “Because they kept moving forward and triumphed against impossible odds, they become the most powerful piece in the game. Never forget that, all right? Never forget the potential one solitary pawn has to change the entire game.

>>17854206
Yeah, i do really dig him. We have so much in common that i just can't let him go. No matter how many other guys i've met that were potential cool relationship material.

I already invited him to hang out. At first he agreed but then refused saying that he's extremely busy and can't really skip what he has to do otherways he will stay behind. At that point i just said okay, another time then. I'm so insecure when it comes to him. I don't even know if he likes me and it's probably just too late (one year passed since the break up). In all this time he NEVER initiated contact on his own even though he would keep the conversation going for maybe a few hours and then disappear in the nothingness. Everytime i look at the big picture and convince myself that he probably has no interest at all into getting back even though he sent me a lot of mixed signals.

>>17853556
This is literally me right now, I wish you good luck anon

You talking about that dog thing in the water? Lol jk. Seriously though, mixed signals are bad. I know this may sound hard but you would probably be better off just being flat out honest with him. Tell him how you feel, and ask if he feels the same. Otherwise it may never end. If he doesn't like you, then move on. It will be hard at first, but in the grand scheme of the universe everything will end out just fine. ;)

>>17854276
I just don't want to sound desperate and make him feel repulsed from me because of it. He always says he's too busy for a relationship. He also is talking to another grill!
Maybe i'm just too insecure.
>>17854222
That's a nice quote!

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>>17854270