My boyfriend of a year has a good female friend he has known

For like the first year of the relationship with my fiance, my ex who didn't even talk to me was more important than my girlfriend.

You're in a position to leverage yourself above that friend just because you have more exposure in terms of quantity and intimacy.

Go on some kind of trip together where you're the only thing he knows.

in what situation and when and how did he say she means more to him than you

>>17853011
>Any guys or girls in my situation?

Yes ;)

>>17853020
How is that possible? To me my bf is more important to me than my male friends. But my relationship with them is pretty shallow. He is very close with her.

Anyway do you mean in time I will become the most important? I am not doomed to be nr 2 for ever?

If it's been a year and she's still a bigger priority than you, then it's time to cut him off.

>>17853030
>I am not doomed to be nr 2 for ever
No one is 2nd forever, she will have to die eventually ')

Why would I stab anyone with a butter knife?

>>17853026
We talked about the people like friends and family who mean a lot to us while watching a movie. I did not say anything did not want to ruin the mood.
>>17853027
share
>>17853031
I keep thinking 1 year vs 7 years is a big difference so maybe in two years...i feel so stupid.

>>17853030
Some people don't get that infatuation that works so well yo kick start love. Wait until you guys have had some trauma together or something really bonding.

This guy is giving you a shot but I'd keep your eyes open for a guy without as much baggage.

>>17853042
Yeah that made me and my ex very close. I wonder if I should look for a guy without a female best friend this makes me too depressed

>>17853040
>I keep thinking 1 year vs 7 years is a big difference so maybe in two years...i feel so stupid.
If you keep thinking that way, he's always going to prioritise her. In another year it'll be 2 years vs 8, then 3 years vs 9, then 4 years vs 10. If this is how you think about this, you're never going to be his priority.

This situation isn't fair on you, you should never feel second best in your partner's life. If you're upset about this now, imagine how it'll be when you're a few years down the line.

>>17853011
>He actually told me she means more to him than I do.
Means his honest, which is a great sign. Obviously someone you know on a close level for longer means more since the relationshit is more mature, and admitting that instead of telling you some feel good shit shows that you can trust this nigga. The way one loves a sibling or a parent isn't the same as one loves a girlfriend/wife. It's a different kind of feeling and nobody competes with another.

I got a sis, and a female friend that I know for 7 years who's probably closer than my sis, and a girlfriend (2 years) and of course my friend I know for longer is more important, as I am for her even though she's married (for 1 year) but it's basically "The person passed the long term friend phase." It's not like either of us would give up their relationship even if he happen to hate each others partners (although we 4 are pretty cool with each other)

>>17853042
>Wait until you guys have had some trauma together or something really bonding.
This. At start of a relationship everything is usually too good to be true, after you have some conflicts or shit happening in life, the bounding just isn't as strong as with something you've been through things.

>>17853074
This is such great advice I printed this out on a paper to read this when i feel down again thanks

>>17853030
"But my relationship with them is pretty shallow."

You can't blame him for the fact you don't have valuable friendships in your life (with the opposite sex anyway).

If anything, its a good sign he is able to maintain long-lasting, meaningful relationships with people.

>>17853074

Seriously? Your friend is more important than your girlfriend? How is that even possible? Why didn't you just go out with your friend then? This statement is shocking.

>>17853149
That's like saying "Why didn't you just go out with your sister or mother."

Since it's 4chin and a rhetorical question like that can backfire ...
Just because I have a longer history with tons of experiences with someone doesn't mean I am romantically interested in them.

>>17853112
Every time i get close to a guy they show romantic or sexual interest in me even if they have a gf so i stopped becoming close to guys.

>>17853163

But she's not your sister or your mother . . . she's a woman who's not related to you.

File: knot polynomials.png (466KB, 1328x971px) Image search: [Google]

466KB, 1328x971px

>>17853040
>share
I am dating a girl who couldn't get over her ex lover. In fact I'm not sure if I'd ever be more than the second place. I didn't know that she isn't over her ex until the moment I met him (and observing a few of their interactions after that) , the guy is basically me in 10 years, he teaches algebraic geometry, I studies algebraic geometry, he plays piano, I play piano, we are of the similar height (~190cm), same build (ectomorph), same hair style, similar hair length (slightly longer than medium), even wearing similar clothes, and are both influenced by Siegel-Weil school, it's ridiculous.

Like you, I don't want to break up with her yet because she has been good to me, the sex is amazing, and, mostly I am just curious how our relationship will turn out, whether it could be both dysfunctional and fulfilling. The girls I dated before her were as uninteresting as they come, at some points they just became a string of fwbs. It's arguable that she became more interesting to me when I realized how she picked me. Could this girl be my first love, or my last love, I'm still unsure.

>>17853191
So blood relation is the only thing keeping you from banging your sis? What about a step sis you grew up with?

>>17853196
Op here that must feel very bad. Also I am staying in the relationship for the same reasons you mentioned but being second place feels horrible. Lets just date each other anon.

>>17853196
Ouch, sounds like a worse situation than OP since they actually dated, although at least there are some keks with the guy being so fucking similar.

As I am a straight woman and an only child, I absolutely can't imagine this situation.

I have a friend I've know for four years, I'd totally have sex with him. But we weren't kids together, so I guess that doesn't count. All my older friends are also female.

>>17853011
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. I have a close male friend - we have been friends since we were born, our moms are best friends and we grew up like brother and sister.
Of course, my boyfriend is now more important than my friend. We went through all sorts of shit together, we are about to start a family together, he is the person I spend most of my time with and my best friend.
But that kind of closeness comes with time. Being a steady part of someone's life needs time.
After a few months with my boyfriend he wasn't as fundamental as the guy who had been my best friend for 16 years.

Give it time - be by his side, love him, support him, spend time with him. You'll become the most important person in his life.

>>17853252
Thank you this means a lot to me

File: knot.jpg (590KB, 1092x819px) Image search: [Google]

590KB, 1092x819px

>>17853208
I'm sure we will meet and fall in love, at some point, wait for me ;)

>>17853214
yeah that was hilarious. We actually had coffee and talked for awhile about our aspiration and outlook. It was weird, as I asked him a problem that I've been unable to resolve, and he was like "nah, don't ask that question, that would be another fifty years until any of us are equipped enough to deal with it, however if you ask this question, ...( he outlined an interesting special case) that could be a major publication for you". That was within 5 minutes.

>>17853313
Post more notes please
Sage

>>17854421 knots
Sage

>>17853011
You have the potential to become the love of this mans life if you aren't already. The other woman will never fill this role. His feelings for you will overcome his friendly feelings towards his friend through the passage of time. You will be the woman he lays to bed every night and wakes up to every morning. The woman who spends the most time with him. His friend will always be important to him, but you will become even more important as his partner as time goes on.
I was his situation but now my SO means much more to me, he is my life partner. I still care about my friend though, but my SO is prioritized.

One thing to keep in mind though; It's time to leave for someone better if he always prioritizes her over you even if you are together for a long time. This is not a healthy partnership.

This is very important to me, as my ex is the closet thing I have to a best friend. She's a part of my family. (We share very unconventional definitions of "family.") I am worried how a future girlfriend will interpret our friendship.

No one desires me though, so I guess I'll never have to actually worry about this, but it's still stuck in the back of my mind...should the unthinkable happen.

Anyone else notice the different responses here than for that other post recently about a girl whose bf got angry about HER male friend?

Why does everyone rush to defend this guy, but not that girl?

>>17855048
because the bf of OP from the other thread was an asshole to the friend, while here it doesn't seem like OP is taking any direct action on his bf friend.

>>17853313
>nah, don't ask that question, that would be another fifty years until any of us are equipped enough to deal with it, however if you ask this question, ...( he outlined an interesting special case) that could be a major publication for you
he's trying to steal your idea and throw you of the trail.

>>17853020
> for the first year my ex who didnt even talk to me was more important than my gf
>year in, ex is still more important

goddamn I wish she dumped you

Ay yo, I'm in the same situation with my girlfriend. I seem to be not enough male interaction for her. It's hard and I feel like giving up. When they're together I get completely disregarded. But I'm pushing ahead and hopefully, she would realise I should be enough for her