What to do and how to motivate myself?

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Ok, my time for a story now...

> my early twenties
> trying college for a second time
> my problem is everytime I make a decision I start to reconsider it and start bitching myself about not trying something different
> end up having literally no motivation to finish anything in life about school
> I hate doing one and only stuff around and around which is pretty the only thing college is about
> could go working, there are some things I can do pretty well and I enjoy them
> I know when a I leave school I would never return or make it to the degree
> everyone in family has a degree and just now I'm being the black sheep for not finishing any school already
> they won't admit it but I know it and I'm sorry for that
> constantly being in stress, high blood pressure etc. starting to be bad
> leaving means giving up
> staying means more time of self-criticism about not doing something different
> I would really like to study much things at one but our school system is not made for someone with such broad-interest spectrum
> maybe I'm just a lazy fuck, at this point I really can't tell difference because I really wan't to get myself up to something but I'm not able to stay three years at the same spot doing one thing