IM AUTISTIC WITH WOMEN

>no sex until marriage

Any particular reason you are cutting your potential dating pool to 1% of what it could be?

>>17847580
My beliefs rooted in why monogamy is the correct way for humans to pair off.

>>17847587
So because your church told you sex is evil? Okay, just remember your only hope is finding a very religious girl.

>>17847692
Im not religious. Agnostic. I do believe in god. But more of the type Einstein talked about. A clock maker.
I do not understand why people find it so hard to believe that someone values monogamy.

>>17847699
>monogamy
>no sex until marriage

You do know these two things are not the same, right?

>>17847715
Not for me. Though marriage isnt the big deal. Its just being with the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with. I don't need a marriage certificate to validate that.
I argue the value of monogamy is lost if you do not value sex. I can elaborate if you want.

>>17847716
Are you going to post those same old, thoroughly debunked graphs claiming that saving yourself for marriage means a more stable marriage? Please don't bother.

You should think why no-sex is so important to you. As you get older, fewer and fewer people still believe in it. After 25, you will find very few girls who will be okay with a sexless relationship. It's a dealbreaker that you're constructing. And you're setting yourself up to die alone.

>>17847747
No thats not the reason. Though that is a good point. I forgot they existed. Ill look more into them and see if I can add them to why Im against premarital sex.
But honestly as for your argument, if you don't have any values you wouldn't just abandon because someone tries to scare you into false statistics, we can't relate. If Im desperate enough I could always profile. Its really only women with western values that are the concern. Though this is completely off topic for the point of the OP.

>>17847747
>http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
This is the study right. Before I read thoroughly what was debunked about it. It'd help filter out info.

>>17847753
It's still on topic. OP's main problem is his fear of sex. And that makes it very difficult for him to get girls interested.

>>17847766
I do not have a problem getting girls interested, up until my autistic spasm everything goes smoothly.

>>17847767
That's exactly what I meant. Girls will abandon their interest as soon as they find out. Really, the only thing you can do is practice. Reconsider your weird ideas that are turning off girls. Focus on being positive and fun and someone girls want to be around with.

>>17847773
Im pretty sure its me blowing air in their nose thats turning them off and not my ideas. Thats pretty obvious.

>>17847541
Sex as something sacred is incredibly odd to me. We don't hold off on other pleasures. If someone told you that they refused to go out to dinner with someone until marriage, you'd wonder why the fuck they'd do that. If someone said they refused to masturbate until marriage, you'd assume they were crazy orthodox with some religion, but as soon as that masturbation involves another person, BAM! Suddenly it's seen as noble to hold off.
I feel like treating sex as the sacred part of being devoted to someone for life really diminishes the value of what you actually get from someone you can love til death. It's someone you can tell all your private thoughts to. You can know that they're always there and often thinking about you. You know they're the most important thing in the world to you, and you to them. It's someone you can trust just as much as that friend who's been with you since school and always has your back, but you also get to raise a family and be intimate with them.
The fact that most people look at a potential bond of this depth and think "Yeah, but the most important part is that they fuck each other and only each other" is one of the most baffling things to me.

>>17847781
I can assure you that once they find out you don't want sex before marriage, 99% will turn tail and run.

>>17847796
The fact that you are comparing dinner and sex really baffles me so we probably can't see eye to eye.
Really I feel like the analogy flat out fails. You wouldnt care if the person you were with grabbed dinner with someone else. Youd care if they had sex with someone else.
Secondly sex is the most intimate thing a couple can do. Less sex is something you do with others freely. Then its the same as everything else I guess. But then this goes into why I mention monogamy. If sex isn't sacred, why monogamy?

>>17847767
You could always be up-front about it. Also, your autism isn't "freak out right before sex because I don't want it"
Your autism is actually the part where you get so far along in flirting that you get physical, when you're not actually interested in fucking.
You're being a tease, and egging someone on just so you can then refuse and feel self-righteous about it.

>>17847799
Its not a secret. Many know before hand. I don't understand why you are projecting so hard.

>>17847806
If it were just sex that would be one thing. But I freak out at the kissing part. Which I either blame my autism for associating kissing with sex. Which could be because some girls will see it that way. Or Im not over my ex.

>>17847803
>monogamy

Doesn't mean "no sex until marriage".

>>17847803
>Youd care if they had sex with someone else

No I wouldn't. Not after I turned 15 anyway.

>>17847815
I was referring to during the relationship. Im pretty sure you intentionally dodged that.
>>17847814
Its what normal relationships are. Closed and not open.

>>17847825
Wait, you consider a no-sex-until-marriage relationship normal?...

>>17847825
Wow I misread that. Its late
>>17847814
>Doesn't mean "no sex until marriage".
The meaning isn't what is important. Why do you value monogamy if sex is not sacred.

>>17847825
Well then why is it that important to you that she never had sex with anyone else before meeting you?

>>17847828
I still don't understand why you equate monogamy with not having sex until marriage. Plenty of couples are in a happy monogamous marriage despite having had sex before, and even with someone else.

>>17847830
Never said that. Though someone having similar values is important. Theres wiggle room but not much basically. One night stands and fwbs are a no go. A few committed relationships are fine, but a few is subjective.

>>17847832
I don't equate them. I don't see the value in monogamy if sex isn't special.

>>17847803
>If sex isn't sacred, why monogamy?
So if someone was amazing and really "got you", but paralyzed and unable to have sex, would you still marry them?
I would.
It's really not about the sex.
If my wife and I couldn't have sex for some reason, I'd still love her.
Sex is not the most intimate thing a couple can do. Having a child, saying you love them and meaning it, deciding how to move forward in life, discovering hobbies together, and knowing that they're thinking about you; these are the most intimate things a couple can do. Sex, when not for procreation, is just masturbating with someone else there to improve the experience.
>You'd care if they had sex with someone else
Certainly if it was underhanded, but if she wanted to have an open relationship, she'd ask me. And if I agreed but then grew uncomfortable with a partner she was with, she'd change what she was doing. I trust her judgment in these things. THAT is marriage.
We're -not- in an open relationship by the way, and are pretty unlikely to ever be in one (I'm a bit too introverted to want the stress of an additional person and their family added to my life), but I wouldn't feel betrayed as you sound like you'd be.

>>17847840
Not being able to have sex does not change the importance of sex. Having a child isnt an intimate act. Its a change in phase of the relationship between the parents.
Whether or not its underhanded does not matter if you think the grabbing dinner is the same as sex.

>>17847841
*grabbing dinner is analogous to sex. In case you are picky.

>>17847841
>Having a child isnt an intimate act. Its a change in phase of the relationship between the parents.
Well, if we're going to be pedantic and define things rather than understanding their emotional significance, then
>Having sex isnt an intimate act. Its a change in phase of the relationship between the couple.

>>17847861
No you are intentionally dismissing the fact that sex is an action between couples and having a child is not. You analogy also fails but its too far outside of the topic for me to bother.

>>17847868
>having a child is not an action between couples

Wut.

>>17847871
There is no action of having a child. Sex is an act. The fact that you need a different verb makes that apparent.

>>17847875
There is no action of having sex. placing a penis in a vagina is an act. The fact that you need a different verb makes that apparent.

>>17847880
You are intentionally being obtuse so I well not reply further than this.
To have something is a state of being. derivative to forms of IS. It is not an action. having sex is just another way of saying sexual intercourse. Language is not this hard.

>>17847886
... I see now why no girl worth her salt has never shown interest in you.

>>17847899
That is called moving the goalpost. Sorry I lied about not replying. Pointing out fallacies is a hobby of mine.

>>17847900
Nobody likes a smartass who argues about insignificant pedantic details no one cares about. And who insists on always being right.

>>17847886
No, I am not.
"Having a child" can be synonymous to the act of giving birth to and raising a child, not just "currently possessing a child".
For instance, when a woman says "I'm going to have a baby" that means they are going to commit the act of creating a baby.

>>17847900
Wow, you know there's more than one person on this board, and assuming you're talking to one person makes you look like a jackass?
>Pointing out fallacies is a hobby of mine.
As this is an open discussion, and not a topical debate, that was not a fallacy. He never said he was proving or disproving anything stated with that observation, he simply stated his opinion on a specific comment.

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>>17847900

:^)

>>17847908
birth is not an action couples engage in. Raising a child and having a child are not the same thing.
>>17847906
The difference between the two werent even that important. You wanted to be pedantic abou it.

I have a spazz-younger brother just like you, and it's generally a waste of time giving you guys advice on women. It's because you're afraid of rejection and truly don't realize that it's a numbers game. I bet you put yourself in situations where it's hard to have close contact with the oposite sex. You have celebrity posters or screen savers of Taylor Swift or some such fantasy women. Let me guess, really high standards about women, to virtually assure you Don't ever get to talk to a real one? Sound Familiar?

>>17847960
Did you read the OP at all?

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>>17847541
OP, I'm sorry this thread has gotten off to a horrible start. /adv/ tends to be full of jaded fuckboys that are more than happy to mess up others with poor advice while trying to get help for their own issues. It's honestly pretty pathetic how anons are talking about how they just KNOW women wouldn't want to be with someone who abstains from sex until marriage, but are probably the types that go on /r9k/ and /pol/ and bitch all day about why all women they know are whores.

As someone who is also somewhat religious and shares the same morals, I empathize with you. However, I think your main issue is definitely your feelings about your ex. It is possible to find a woman who will stay abstinent as well, but there's not a soul on the planet that wants to be with someone still hung up over the past.

3 years is definitely a long time to be with someone, to write that part off as "autism" is silly. It does take some time to recover from that sort of relationship.

I will admit, however, that the association of kissing and sex is something you need to work on. Kisses can be both romantic and platonic without being sexual, such as forehead kisses and cheek kisses. Even butterfly kisses can be romantic without being sexual.

I think you should also work on communicating to your SO of your boundaries, with words instead of nose blows. Make sure she knows that you're uncomfortable with premarital sex and will involuntarily recluse if she doesn't respect your boundaries.

>>17848028
You're a kissless virgin who has never been in a relationship, and think you know best what women want?

>>17848040
Yes, because I am one.

>>17848045
You're an outlier, a small minority.

>>17848106
OP isn't trying to date the majority.

>>17848108
He's trying to date a fantasy creature that doesn't exist.

>>17848119
Or, he wants to date an agnostic/religious woman with similar morals.

The "fantasy creature" you're referring to is an atheist girl that holds those kinds of morals.

>>17848028
>they just KNOW women wouldn't want to be with someone who abstains from sex until marriage
We're talking about women in general. We're going to be painting with wide brushes.

Of course people who also want to wait until marriage exist. But the fact is at the end of the day they're a negligible population. You're more likely to end up becoming a spinster than finding someone who shares that belief, ultimately. You are entirely free to pursue it, but I'm also free to point out it's a fools errand.

>>17848132
>We're talking about women in general.

Except that's not what OP asked about at all, he asked about dealing with his virginity situation. You are getting off topic bringing up "women in general", which is further derailing the thread and making it into issues it's not about.

>You are entirely free to pursue it, but I'm also free to point out it's a fools errand.
One has a better chance of finding someone that shares those morals if one already has them. I would rather honestly be with a guy that held out his virginity for me than someone who laid around with a bunch of other women and "settled" for me, and I know several women at my church that feel the same way.

Maybe not everyone thinks and acts the way you do.

So basically I have shit self esteem, shy, introvert, and a nerd who happens to have above average intelligence.

I also have a fit body, great skin, and 8/10 face.

Just simply ignore women and tell yourself you're ugly AF. Works wonders for me.

I walk around campus and women stare at me and play with their hair. The off chance Im in a class with actual women, confident ones will display themselves in front of me. Sit by me when a bunch of other seats, they love stripping layers off and if she has boobs she shows them off.

Women cutting my hair telling other women how handsome I am. My mom and sister go to get their hair done she tells them how good looking I am. My family doctor is female tells my mom and sister how good looking I am. My sister hates it.

If I actually make an attempt to be friend a girl they always want to fuck me, I could force myself into the friend zone and it wont work. Then when they get drunk they tell me im hot.


Im telling you bro my technique works.

>>17848541
I wish telling myself I'm ugly was just my technique. Not even my mom ever told me I look good.

>>17848028
Yeah but I'm not in a relationship with the women. I could explain why I freak out better though saying it's because of an ex is a bad idea. I've been considering just being more careful flirting when I am alone with women. Maybe then I won't jump to thinking about sex.

>/adv/ - "dude just be a degenerate bro just do it wow why wont you do it fuck"

Great advice

>>17848132
It is legitimately not that hard to find woman like this.

>>17849362
It's just women get upset when they feel excluded.

Why did this thread get derailed so fast?
What happened to /adv/?
Is it really just single mothers giving advice now?

>>17848040
Why is calling people a kissless virgin always the go to insult here. Thats not even an insult. Instead of trying to belittle people why don't you attack the core points they are making.

Getting sex isn't about what buttons you press; it's about the hand which presses the button.

get strong
get successful
get smooth

There is no way around this. Women are not looking for limpwristed needy stinkbugs, and even if they were they would be looking for THE BEST stinkbug and not just one who defaulted into this state. You've been conditioned by feminism to believe that strength and success are somehow evil, or contrary to other positives in life. They are not. What's good for your body is also good for your mind, and what's good for your wallet is also good for your domestic life.

>>17850043
>What's good for your body is also good for your mind
Tell that to drugs

>>17850048
As a highly experienced drug enthusiast, I'm pretty sure drugs are bad for both.

>>17847541
you are framing it the wrong way.

if a girl offers you her pussy you say:
put a ring on it then....

it is your feelings getting in the way because when you close your eyes all you see is your ex. you need to say to yourself ex is a ex for a reason. if she wanted me she would have tried everything in her power to come back. but she aint comming back.

>>17850050
Drugs are not bad for your body. It's just bad for your mental health since you get addicted. Not all drugs cause cancer.

>>17850052
>if a girl offers you her pussy you say: put a ring on it then....
This is high tier desperation.

>>17850043
Please read OP again.