Some backround on the situation; Me and my bio-dad do NOT get

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CONT

So the situation is I'm in State A right now. I live in State B though. I came to State A to get away from State B because I hate living in that fucking house with that prick, not to mention I don't get along with anybody on his side of family. Except like 2 (?). I have 2 friends here. In state B I have family I love, and many friends. I honestly feel like I have issues because of my father as well, I'm sort of against self diagnosing though because I feel like a dick saying I might have a mental illness or other problem people REALLY have that I don't. (Or maybe I just have a low self esteem and I'm the problem idk.)

Anyways.. I'm a highschool graduate and and over the age of 18 wit ready to go to college, and I can possibly live with my family in State A(happens to be favorite state and I LOVE my family here, even see my aunt and uncle here as real parents, even loving them more desu lol.
The houses here are like.. 3 homes in one though. Owner of all 3 is my family though, and we get along very well so. If I ever wanted to live here I'd ask them.


Which brings me to the fact that my family knows the situation and is urging me to tell the owners my (family I mentioned ) of house im staying at, my situation and ask if I can stay there. My family here is telling me it's super unlikely the owners will say no, the room im staying in is vacant 24/7 and a im no bothersome at all, and loved by them. Problem is I'm fucking scared it'll backfire and I know my dad will flip the fuck out on me when I'm home, smear me, probably hit me, break my shit, maybe kick me out too.

Should I just stop being an insecure pansy and tell the owners ( family ) my situation and why I would like to stay? My cousins did say if it backfires not to worry they have my back... but idk

Tldr: stay miserable and depressed at home,
Or get out of comfort zone for once and risk massive backfire from a problem and possibly the best decision of my life or the worst

>>17847124
Dear OP,

Take the advice you've been given and ask. It's very clear that home with the folks is poisonous.

>>17847134
>Or get out of comfort zone for once and risk massive backfire from a problem and possibly the best decision of my life or the worst

This is hot
Go for this one

>>17847134

so your choices are
>stay and be miserable
>leave, and maybe suffer a little bit, but then no longer be miserable

hmmmmmm.... you cant just live wit hyour dad forever to stop him from having a major meltdown. you're 18, he knows you're moving out, just play it off like its solely for college and not to avoid him.

then just dont talk to him indefinitely.

OP here and noticed some typos. The part that says desu should say "my parents" and where I said in state B I have many friends and family I meant to say State A

>>17847144
You're right. Tomorrow for sure.

>>17847176
Yeah good point, thanks a lot

>>17847204

and if he hits you OP, please just kick him in the balls. let him know that he can't control you just cuz thats where you came from.

>>17847134
You have a toxic Dad, it happens to alot of us. I'm sorry for how he treated you growing up and I want you to know that it was wrong, but now that you're 18 you have the right, power and responsibility to act as you choose. If you don't feel comfortable around your Dad then it is up to you to get yourself to an area you feel happy. Do not let feelings of guilt keep you there in that shit home.

Go stay in State A. Have low contact with your Dad as you know what the outcome will be. If he comes and hits you, you have the right to knock his ass out. You're over 18, if he tries to beat you it is assault and is a criminal action.

It will be the best decision of your life, OP. Go to state A, get a job and enroll in CC unless you have great grades and can get into a great Uni. Earn the money and pay yourself through college with your job and some debt. Your Dad, like mine, will probably never give you a dime because you "left him".

>>17847215
Thank you, I needed that. I'm going to take charge of my life now, no more being scared of the outcomes and tradeoffs

>>17847268
I understand OP. I'm sorry your Dad was shit.

You need to tell your Mom and other siblings/family why you're doing this. Don't got into specifics; just say that your Dad was abusive earlier on in your childhood, you don't feel comfortable around him, and that you're not seeing any positive experiences that can change your opinion of him. For that reason, you want to be low contact with him and will live in State A. Don't tell anyone who doesn't already know your relationship in some way shape or form: if you want to leave the family, do not create extra drama by telling people who didnt need to know.

Sometime during these talks, you will have some random asshat who will say something like this: "that isn't how your Dad was at all! He is actually super awesome, you're just not remembering your life correctly." If someone says this or defends your Dad, do not argue about history. They will continue to deny your history as they just want the false happy family narrative.

Whoever agrees with you is still in your family. Whoever defends your Dad you shouldn't contact regularly and you shouldn't argue with them. Remember: tell the story only to people who need to know and do not argue with others. This way no huge drama is created.

>>17847268
Do it! Move to State A! You can do this!

Oh, and do not harm yourself...don't you DARE give him the fucking satisfaction that he had some way to hurt you without him even being there.

Tell them and try to stay. If it doesnt work then beat the old man first. Gotta teach that fuck you can't be a dick and have nothing in return.