Going to California with an Aching in my Heart

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If I stay here I not only lose the opportunity to travel with this new girl. I also subject myself to the possibility that all the same heartbreak will happen again.

If I go than it means giving up on the love of my life in a time where there is a chance on making things work. I want her to be my traveling companion. She has found serenity and seems like a completely different person. I just don't know what to do.

I'll clarify any questions anyone may have.

Go on the trip see if things work with the new girl, if not you will come back and the girl you are currently in love with will still be in the same cycle of life because that's just the way addiction works. Broaden your horizons you are 21 get out there and try new things. Don't get stuck in this cycle with the girl you currently love. I can almost guarantee you will fall in love with the girl you go travelling with because you sound like me - fall in love with any good looking girl that is nice to you.

>>17839851
It's not just a road trip. I'd be moving to California for good. This would mean closing the door on the girl I love forever.

>>17839853
Dude its just like deus ex you can only choose one or the other, so flip a coin and whichever you were hoping it to land on DO IT

OP, your ex sets off way too many red flags for me. It sounds like you're dependent upon her which is why you keep going back to her. But I'm not sure if that's really "love". I always tell people to fix themselves before going into a relationship expecting others to fix everything for them, because it's very difficult being in a relationship where both people are fucked up. There needs to be a balance where each person can be there for the other. That's just me though.

I know you mentioned your ex going to AA, but is she really better? What if she resorts to alcohol again? If you stay with her, things could very well go back to the way they were and you could be stuck there. Are you willing to take that risk?

Now, I'm sort of an unforgiving person so maybe my advice here is shit. But I would put your ex and your past behind you and only look forward. give the new girl a chance, or at least see who you meet in California. You could meet another girl who could steal your heart AND be more stable than your ex. I do want to say that you should get yourself together a bit too, because of your family's past. It's just not healthy to depend on a person to make you happy - I was dumped because of similar circumstances. When you're in a better place in your life emotionally, it'll be easier to see who and what you truly need.

whenever someone makes you feel that really intense fiery attraction, it means they are activating something in your subconscious, probably having something to do with your parents.

You should move to sunny California and start again as the other user said that girl is covered in red flags, which can be attractive we all know that. However, sometimes you need to see your situation from an outside perspective. What would you suggest to someone else in the exact same situation? It's cali all the way my friend, good luck to you in any path you take.