Letter thread Write a letter to someone who will never read it.

Never did i say i didnt want to talk to you, you blocked me on everything the day after you called me crying hysterically. I asked you if you were okay because you were a mess and you couldnt even tell me you were okay, instead you blocked me on everything, i thought it was just a moment you were having or whatever, than you get back with your ex on sunday, then you still wont talk to me, i have to add you on something that you didnt block me yet than you just ignored me anyway until i had to blow you up for a response. and even when you gave me a response you had your ex there and you tried to spite me by saying you were having fun, and to never talk to you like that, when i was clearly coming from a place of confusion and i was lost. I never felt so alone in my life when you said that, i felt like a lost a big part of me from everything that was happening. It was honestly ridiculous looking back at it now, all those red flags that i saw when you were texting him, you telling you love him straight to my face with no regards how i would feel. imagine if i was talking to you and i knew you had crazy feelings for me and i told you right in your face that i love someone else. the first moment you said you have to comeover or else im going to have to go to steves because i have nowhere else to go, you remember that? i should of left you right then and there. And if not that, the first time you left me for him i should of never said a word to you, i should have never texted you never done anything. I dont blame you 100% tho, there are some things i would have done differently, and aswell as i knew what i was going into considering your depression and other problems.

>>17839373
You kept leading me on and on and on only to crush me in the end. And the fact that you told me you loved me and 2 days after that you blocked me on everything and clearly didnt give a shit, but when your ex calls you a whore you get back with him 2 days later. All you ever did was lead me on, you wasted my time and let myself get attatched to you. When i was messaging you on thanksgiving night i was worried sick about you and you wouldnt even talk to me. you wouldnt tell me anything, you just went and blocked me on everything, instead of just saying im okay or whatever. You just dont care about anyones feelings but yourself, your an incredibly selfish person, you have no idea how i felt at that time and you dont care even if you did know how i felt, because everything is about you and how you feel, you can say you cared for me, you loved me or whatever, but everything that you did, your actions they show you dont give a fuck. Everything that happened between us was a huge lie, You do not do what you do to someone you love/care about, and everytime you told me sorry, you didnt mean it at all because you would go and do it again, you would only say sorry to satisfy yourself so that someone wouldnt be mad at you. You dont have the right to keep things from people because your afraid they'll be mad at you or hurt them, thats not your decision at all, it was your decision when you did whatever would cause them hurt and you have to live with it and own up to it.

>>17839379
At the moment of writing this, i feel like im over you already but there is some residual feelings, I do cherish the fun times we had , staying up late and just having fun. The best part about you was that just being with you made me happy, whenever we would do shit together i would always have fun just being there with you. I felt that you could make any moment, anything i was doing better because i could share that experience with you, but things change. that was in the beginning and i wish my idea of you was true, but it wasnt, you were in love with your ex the entire time and you just made me feel like a second choice, for awhile i was really fucked up about it all and i was very lonely. I wish i met you at a different point in your life because i believe and i really do that if none of this bullshit happened we would be ok, I felt such a strong connection with you but now any future of us is absolutely ruined because of it all.

I hope this destruction we cause in eachother can help us slowly build something great together.

I wish we were still friends.

It's going to be ok.

I never thought I'd get to this point, further than I could imagine. I don't know if the spell is broken or I'm just getting better at self control and directing my thoughts elsewhere, but I don't ever want to go back to the dark days. Sitting on the floor, crying my heart and soul out for a person who left a long time ago. There are better things in front of me. You don't have to feel sorry for me. You don't have to feel anything at all.

I'm pulling myself of out this through sheer force of will. Have a good life, I hope you never realize just how much you gave up.

I found out recently that even though I thought you'd been cheating on me (come on, you acted weird as fuck and I was just chilling, trying to love you) you never did. There was a girl throwing herself at you really hard while we dated, and then while you dated the girl after me.

I mean, the girl even sent nudes and you didn't do shit while we were together. I dunno how this makes me feel, honestly, because you were super toxic besides all of that. You were so emotionally abusive, I don't know how I stood it.

Anyway, I guess I'm pretty impressed, aside from the fact you ended up dating nudes girl and are likely still dating her now. Wtf?

P.S. I don't even know her name, so I'd never message her nor did I ever. Dude, what's with your penchant for drama? Seriously.

I've done a lot of bad things to a lot of good people.

These people that I've hurt hold a special place for me within themselves. I'm the guy that they use as a comparison; I'm the shitty asshole that apparently has no regard for anybody but himself. I'm the heart breaker.

While it's seemingly true to any onlooker I would say that the reason I do these things is to push the person down the path that they need to go. It's like I'm the inspiration and fuel they need to fix their shit and become a more well-rounded person. I pick the girl, I get the girl, we fall in love, we have an amazingly passionate experience, and then I make their fears come to life. I've always been the one to break up with them. They come to the realization that their lives needs to change and finally they take a leap of faith that they've been afraid to make for a long time.

I still love all of these people but I know that they will never love me again. They won't ever come back and that fact kills me inside.

I wish all of you well from beyond the grave.

Dear K,

Why did you play around with my heart when yours already belongs to someone else?

Saw you tonight with her, and it ruined the rest of my evening.

I don't know why it hurts so much, our interaction meant nothing to you most likely.

-L

Suck my dick you fucking ho

Anna I miss you.

I am sorry I didn't take care of my self the last couple of years to look appealing to you.

I know you will have a happy life, even without me.

Dear my first love, I loved you very much even tho you didn't know about my feelings or I did about yours. You've been kind to me all the time , you were the one I was looking on and waning . We did hug couple of times, and it were one of the best feelings in my life. You were the one who I lead my day. I always wanted to see your smile and happiness, that you will be happy with someone that will give you lots of love. I always hated to see new face beside you. They came and go , but one of them did stay with you. So you are married now and even have a kid, cute adorable one. I am happy to see you happy with the one you love.

But to let you know that I've loved you for 6 years. That's a lot of years of one sided and hurting love.
Cuz everything inside me hurt when I saw you beside someone else. But I don't want you to be sad. You are a woman now and you have your family now, And I love seeing you smile. Be happy my dear first love, Oh god why we were born cousins.

I won't promise because promises are easily broken. But I will stay a Virgin until I find the one I truly love like I loved you.

I love you .

J,

Every day I wake up wishing you were dead. Every day I am disappointed.

-E

DEAR SANTA

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Well I'll be damned, here comes your ghost again.
But that's not unusual. It's just that the moon is full and you happened to call and here I sit. Hand on the telephone, hearing a voice I'd known a couple of light years ago.
Heading straight for a fall. As I remember your eyes were bluer than robin's eggs, my poetry was lousy you said. Where are you calling from? "A booth in the midwest"
Ten years ago I bought you some cufflinks, you brought me something
We both know what memories can bring. They bring diamonds and rust.

Well you burst on the scene already a legend, the unwashed phenomenon, the original vagabond. You strayed into my arms and there you stayed. Temporarily lost at sea. The Madonna was yours for free, yes the girl on the half-shell would keep you unharmed. Now I see you standing with brown leaves falling around and snow in your hair. Now you're smiling out the window of that crummy hotel over Washington Square. Our breath comes out white clouds, mingles and hangs in the air. Speaking strictly for me, we both could have died then and there.
Now you're telling me you're not nostalgic... Then give me another word for it... You who are so good with words and at keeping things vague... Because I need some of that vagueness now... It's all come back too clearly... Yes I loved you dearly...and if you're offering me diamonds and rust, I've already paid...

I wish we could just say "I love you now" I feel it and I am so eager to tell you. I guess I should wait for you though..I mean I want you to mean it when you say it..

Even though Ill probably never see you or even talk to you and I never had the courage to say that I'm sorry in front of you, and I could never muster up the courage to even talk to you again since I asked you out I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything that I indirectly did to you. From making things awkward to accidentally making you the bud of a joke, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for wishing you misfortune when you started dating my friend its something that has given me a lot of guilt over the months.
I'm sorry

S,

You're a heartless cunt and I love you.

- M

Why won't you reply sweetheart? Why do you accept my face request if you don't want to communicate?

>>17839370
Fuck you Katie.
Take a flying leap you wonky-eyed Bertfaced bitch.

Have fun Melissa, I'm over you.

We really didn't click at all and I made things awkward too. Don't even know why I was into you so much at the time, we have nothing in common.

>>17840262
Then let's talk it out.

>>17841394
Fuck off already you boring cuck

I honestly wonder how we'd end up if we didn't meet through a dating site. My thinking is we'd probably just be great friends. That sounds really fucking callous I know but maybe you'd agree, given how you ended up feeling in the end.

I'm so sorry for burning us up the way I did. I wish we could still talk without it floating over us.

AL-

I really wish I could meet you. I wish I was someone else, some girl who has a chance with you. But who knows, maybe I'd meet you, you'd be an asshole to me, and I'd change my mind.

Oh well, I'll keep wishing, but I won't let my head get too far up in those clouds. I live in my head too much as is.

Could you tell me the name of where you are staying? So I can write to you?

There was a post here so long ago. Saying "I hope you still message me as much as you are now once these next few crazy months are through."

You've been there for a month now, right?

Please... if you ever feel like doing anything like that again tell me. You know I love you. You know we will be together till the end of days.

I forgive you. I truly do. I would never judge you. I hope you forgive me as well.

if you reply to this, tell me something only we would know my love. Tell me... what is my favorite part of your ever so delicate form... the softest spot with the smoothest skin.

I miss you so much. I miss talking to you about everything and nothing. You're going to be alright. You are loved...

>>17842530
>we had sex with which body part?
>hint: it's smooth and soft.

the armpit!

>>17840661
stop talking to him darlin. Did his fiance leave him? Does she know he's calling you?

You are getting treatment. You need to stop this.

Harley,

I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I'm sorry I didn't realize that you didn't love me anymore and kept trying to force something that wasn't there.
But when you brought him into my house, when you slept with him twenty feet from my own bed, I reacted. I hope you and the kid are okay and happy.
-- Franklin

Were you seriously with him in that city? that city?

To Larissa: You were my first love, and my first friendzone. You made me tougher and I thank you for that. I'd still like to fuck you since when ee finally made out you were on your period, but you're either too fat or too std riddled now. No hard feelings tho

To Isabela: my apologies, I tought going out on a date with you would be cool. I was too inexperienced to simply stick my hands in your pants as you did with my friend later that night. Thanks for showing how it should be done.

Manuela: You were my first gf. Thanks for showing everything a gf should NOT be, and how stupid I was to treat too well boring bitchy girls like you. Thanks for breaking up with me too, otherwise I'd be married and with a kid with you, a fat spoiled bitch full of scars from surgeries trying to get thin. You should have brain surgery, you'll always be fat in your head.

To Bruna: my current gf. We fight a lot but we have so much fun. Thanks for showing me how a gf and hopefully my wife should be. I swear I'll marry you, I'm just stalling because we don't have money for it, and I'm glad you're realizing it.

To Fernanda: Why are you being a bitch to us? You said you loved being with us but now you're being such a bitch to us. You're breaking Bruna's heart and I hate you for that. Hopefully when we make you cum your pussy until it's inside out again you'll be nice again

Dear Friend,

Can't understand why you want to be with her, she's unbelievably toxic, even to her own "friends".
None of us like her and she isn't even very good looking.
I guess you're just that desperate though.
I've been exceptionally hurtful to you lately because I thought maybe if you gather the courage to stand up to me you'll stop letting her push you around too.
It's so obvious that she's just toying with you, and in your current state I can only imagine what you'll do when she gets bored and throws you away again.

I love you. I don't seem to be able to say what I realy want, it feels awkward and I get all shy. Don't fret so much about your weight, pubic hair, penis size, whatever. I think you are really hot and I don't want anybody else. You are my man, my hero and I am so glad to have you in my life.

One day I'll tell you outright. You really are amazing.

What a disappointing display, C
Does the sight of my name disgust you that much?
Run all you want, you'll never find peace until you confront your mistakes and I have no interest in making it easy on you
Until next time,
R

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i know i come off as dry and i know i keep myself in check, i'm sorry if at times i come off as too affectionate, i keep kicking myself for opening up to you the way i have, spilling my guts to you, truth is I've grown to love you over the year we're met and have hung out.

i love you, not as a lover, not sexual and not romantically but...i cant put it into words, i grew up without a mother and you are so motherly to me that i guess i found in you something i couldnt find in anyone else, because i know we dont see each other that way. i admire you and im truly grateful that despite our first date we realize we werent meant to be you stayed my friend, you've joined me to work out, you've been there for me, you've helped me heal this entire year, for that i am truly grateful.

truth is i want to be your equal, i respect you more than any woman ive ever met, you are hella strong, you are a tough bitch and i love that about you but i feel like im beneath you, i know thats not the case but i want to prove myself and i want to be able to feel like i can walk the same path you do. i dont want to be you, i dont want to surpass you, i dont want to feel beneath you, i want to feel i can stand strong beside you.

To everyone I've helped. Or tried to help.

I'm not a good person. I didn't help you because I'm an altruistic woman...or whatever the fuck I am. I did it to make myself feel better. And you know what? It only worked for a moment.

Like a drug I constantly seek out more people with problems and desperately trying to pry into their issues so they come to me for advice and help, or just a shoulder to cry on. Someone to vent to. I love it, but it crushes my soul when people think I am a good person because I do these things.

Is that all you need to be a good person? Just help? Even if you do it for the wrong reasons? Is it that easy? No I think I'm scum because I take advantage of you all like a parasite...

I do care for all of you. That's not a lie. It never was and never will be. But I don't help to just make you feel better. I do it for me. It always will be for me. Eventually I'll end myself, and I'll be remembered as the loving tranny girl that everyone could count on to drop whatever she's doing just to help them when on the inside I'm sick. We all are...I just immerse myself in others' sickness to mask mine.

I'm so sorry to lie to all of you like this. I'm so sorry you think I'm a good person...

-Art

Sorry Monday was awkward, i was nervous about the concert, and then my music fell off the stand, you saw that.
thanks
-idiot

>>17842864
sorry, i'm not OP, i left that on from a different thread, sorry.

>>17842755
I don't understand things like this. Why not fucking talk to them? Why do the very same shit you're criticizing her for?

"In order to help you, I'm going to be a dick to you, lie to you, and just be manipulative so you learn how to stand up to her for being such a manipulative bitch."

so...

Why?

>>17842857
If you do good things, doesn't that mean you've been a good?

If a fireman who likes his job for the admiration and adrenaline rush, saves a person, does it talk?

I know you're doing this on purpose you little fucking smartass

>>17842897
explain.

Fuck I'd put a ring on your finger.

>>17842901
Just an ex being petty. Either that or im being overly arrogant/paranoid

>>17842913
what did they do? Say something or take a picture somewhere that was important to your relationship? I'm bored.

People fucking with me too so I can relate.

>>17842906
I only can afford a ring pop right now though.

No, I can afford one of every color so you can wear it based on hair color at the time.

Suck on em too.

>>17842928
Yea both and she made it her profile pic so I could see. Idk Ive done things here and there so I guess I had that coming. How have people been fucking with you?

S,

I know you hate him for now, but I know you guys will probably be together some time in the future. He's a nice guy, good friend of mine, and he's a genuinely good person, and you'll like him. I don't want to say I'll be there for you because I barely fucking know you, but I just want to say thanks for giving a shit about me. This feeling of mine for you is fading, and then we can just keep being friends. Thank you for befriending me.

t. A

>>17842945
Very elaborate pranks apparently. Making me think my ex was in danger or scared. Phone calls of a softly crying girl for like 2 seconds before hanging up. Saying things like "I want you...." or "I'm sorry..." The numbers originate from somewhere really close even. Which is fucking scary seeing as how she should be thousands of miles away.

and... she is there. Seriously, those phone calls have been freaking everyone here out.Apparently, shes perfectly fine and wants nothing to do with me.

Whatever. They have been taking this too fucking far. Harassing me on facebook, my stream. I wish someone would talk to me but now they have my family all freaked out as well. God damn sociopaths.

>>17842978
I really don't like how you signed your post. Like, it's really bothering me. Why did you do that? What the fuck is wrong with you?

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I get so goddamn lonely. I miss online chat rooms, you could go there and socialise without having to leave the house.
Anyway, you don't really want to talk, do you? I see you go on and offline and I appreciate that you've been kind so far, but I know you're not into this. You should be the one person I can talk to about this, but you don't want to engage. I can't blame you, it's not exactly a fun thing to discuss. But...I don't know...

A

I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Please go away forever, so I can forget you.
l

You were a fucking bitch. And, despite the fact you've found yourself a girlfriend, that we barely talk, what you did was fucking unacceptable. And even though I see you every damn week, and I want nothing to do with you, I still think about you every day and every night, wistfully missing you. You lied, you hurt me, and I still have to sit there and fucking mark you. I hate you, and I hate the control you have over me. I hate you, and I miss you. You're a stupid fucking young whore, and I hope I never see or think of you again, but I will. It's been a fucking year and a half, for fucks sakes. I'd thought I moved on. I fucking hate you.

>>17843056
Why would you want them to go away if you love them?

>>17842857
The only bad thing you did was keep it to yourself for so long. And I know who this is.

>>17843010
That's fucked

>>17840523
Easy. Enjoy your pityfuck story, hopefully it gets some dirty skank in bed with you.

I turn diamonds when you call me by my middle name.

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>>17843025
It's a dumb meme. I spend too much time on 4chan. Honestly the fact that I have friends surprises me everyday. The fact that she still talks to me in a way that she actually gives a shit about a bumbling autist...

>>17842870
>"In order to help you, I'm going to be a dick to you, lie to you, and just be manipulative so you learn how to stand up to her for being such a manipulative bitch."
Making a lot of assumptions there.
I've never lied to him, and really the letter was just me venting. This is all stuff I've told to his face. The hurtful things I've said are mostly calling him out on his cowardice.
As for manipulating, I don't think it can really be categorized negatively that way if he already knows my intent and goal.

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Hey Butthead,

I have no intention on trying to communicate with you anymore. It's for everybody's good. When I left I dreamt about you for weeks. I missed you so much I played all the EDM music you liked. I missed everything about you, the conversations, you and your brother's bedroom. Thank you for the kisses, thank you for making me feel the whole boyfriend experience. Holding hands. You being proud of me in public. You waiting for me at the bus stop. You and me, sneaking out at school and making out. You, being the perfect type of boy I've always liked. You're smart, almost nerdy (I love that) . Your hazel eyes, your smile, your beautiful Spanish accent. Your thick eyebrows. You, being the gamer that you are just turns me on. You're the epitome of my perfect nerdy boyfriend. But what we had was as fast as a blink of an eye. I guess I have accepted the fact that I will never be with the person that I really love. Yes, that's right. I love you. But it's in the wrong time. Also, I'm just a woman 5 years older than you that might just be hippie. I would accept the fact that you're not for me, but always remember that I love you. For who you are and everything about you is perfect to me. It's been 4 months since the last time we communicated. Also, it's almost march 2017, we'll almost get to see a new season of Rick and Morty. Te amo, mahal kita.

P

V

Just have sex with me already!

Just do it already!

I don't care about anyone else, just do it!

A

Sarah,

FUCK YOU

Regards,
J.

Andrew,

You bullied me terribly in elementary school. I hear you literally suck dick for coke now. You cannot know the pleasure this knowledge brings me. Now then, let's not keep your next client waiting!
-Greg

You're torturing me and I guess not feeling a damn thing about it.

You know I forgive you. You know I understand...

So why?

You tell people that what I have been doing recently is making you miserable. my postings and rantings. That you wish I would disappear.

So why don't you just tell me the truth then? To just get it over with. I won't tell a single soul what you tell me. I'll be able to function again. I'm not going to get with another woman if that's what you're afraid of. Not for you, but for me. I want to work on me, I do but I can't do that until you unblock my schizo mind.

Why won't you? You won't be with me and you won't get rid of me. Stop being so selfish. I supported your illness for so long. Years. I'm asking for minutes.

I wouldn't be disgusted. I love you. I forgive you no matter what. You just gotta tell me, ok?

Dear unmentionable
I still still still miss you. I'm growing out my hair and saving up for plastic surgery so one day if we run into each other you might want me back. I miss everything about you. I sob weekly. I wish I knew why you ghosted. I'm sorry for being weird. I just want you to hold me with those strong pale arms like you said you wanted to. I wish that you wish come back and tell me that you regret leaving.
I really was a manipulative piece of shit and I hate myself for it.
I just wish someone would comfort me :'( I'm the lonliest girl ever x'(

>>17843364
are you though.

The only thing you got wrong was you ghosted me.... you left me.

Can you just not say it? Like... part of your psychosis?

like when you say "You don't love me" you meant "I don't love you."

Like when you said "I need trust in my relationships." you meant "I need to stop lying."?

This method works, you know. If you want to answer my questions... just... "not-leon" answer them.

Dear E,

I'm going to be broke for another 3-5 years. Wrong time wrong place in my life, and I wish things were differ. You seem cool, and I hope things work out for you. Hopefully we meet again and we're both successful.

Have a nice day,
C

It's just so frightening. The other people involved weren't as close. They weren't as deeply connected. Their futures so tightly wound. They all knew what she was up to, what to expect and are fine about it.

I already know it was all a lie. She lied about her past. She lied about how she views sex, relationships, and monogamy. She lied about her personality, interests and things she found important. She lied about the people she knew, what she did during the day, night. She lied about what she thought about me, what she said about me to other people, and just so much more.

The thing as well... I don't know if she lied about a lot of that. She just doesn't know who she is at all. She mirrors the values and interests of the people who she is currently around. She could be a completely different person in the morning than she is at night.

I once asked her how she would act if she was in a room of a bunch of people she currently knows and use to know. That if all these people that have never interacted with one another were in the same room with her... what would her views be? Her personality? Would she completely freeze up, overloaded?

Even just those things I mentioned, that I know for a fact, is enough to completely destroy her her if she was faced with how she acted in reality vs the character she mirrored from me.

Here is the thing baby... if you mirror who I am, that means you would be able to objectively view the situation, recognize your mental illness created these problems, and be empathetic, forgiving of them. You always told me how we had the exact same morals and values... if that's true then you would be able to talk to me knowing I will understand. I will forgive. You will forgive yourself as well. I am a good man, you... a good woman.

Talk to me.

It's going to be ok.

>>17839380
Holyyyyyy fuqqqq
That was heart breaking got damn
Be strong anon

>>17839380
>>17843487
yeah but which ex.

>>17842857
Ahhhh this is too relatable
Maybe one day we can find people like ourselves to help and we will be happy

Serra,

I love you. That's the long and short of it. I've loved you since the minute I first laid eyes on you. I tried to show you how I felt, I tried to be there, but nothing I did seemed to work and you stayed oblivious. Now I lie in bed every night wondering what the hell I did wrong. I don't think I'll ever get over you. I wish I could tell you this in person but you won't answer my texts. I don't even know if you're alive. I wish I could get over you, I wish I could make this pain go away, but nothing I do works and when I'm alone, all the memories come back. I miss you and I love you.

This is the worst part.

When my previous ex cheated on me, when she ghosted me for awhile as well, I was devastated. I cried, cried, cried for days. I didn't sleep for 7 days straight. I stayed in bed for most of that time. Eventually... after another week a cute, dark hard girl sent me a message saying that there are people out there that cared. It made me feel so much better.

A couple days after... I was able to reply to her. I sent her so many sad messages about my ex. How I loved her, all the things I did for her. The romance, the abuse, and cheating. We quickly became friends. I started talking to other girls as well. I was driven into the ground by my ex and the boost of confidence these women gave me by flirting was so helpful.

Eventually... the dark haired girl gave me an adorable little gift that would eventually become a reality. After that it was her that I focused all my attention. She was so loving, caring, and compassionate. She would listen to me and share her experiences as well. She seemed so much more mature, independent, intelligent, creative, and absolutely stunning, more beautiful than any other girl in the world. We... were enraptured by one another. The intimate, naughty things she sent to me made me feel like the most desirable man to live. For the first time in my life I felt attractive.

After that ex cheated on me, I was able to function. I found someone that was obviously special. Someone unique. Someone I wanted so badly to know more...

2 years later now she's gone. Disappeared without a trace. All the things I mentioned before, starting from the very first message she sent me... was all a lie. Deceit. Manipulation. She saw a vulnerable man and took her prey.

I have never felt so alone in my life. I have never felt so unloved, bitter, and hopeless. Her message saying that there are people out that who cared was an absolute lie. No one cares for me. I was so certain of her...

I wish she would show me her message was real...

>>17843244
Oh if only you were the J I knew, haha.

>>17839370
>>17839370
Dear A and S,

Sadly you two never really go on 4chan and I always rip on you, A, for using Reddit however, it doesnt matter. I know you two will never read this anyways.
Meeting you two were my happiest days. At first I didnt like you S, mostly because you would front most of the time but it was always to gain the acceptance of others. A, youre a crazy motherfucker and thats exactly why I love you, man, both of you fucks. You're the type of dude who parties one night and is ready for round 2 the next; rinsing and repeating the weekends.
We were 3, but now it seems as though we've all spread out. I remember 2-3 years ago so vividly even though we were smoking too much weed, drinking too much alcohol, doing too much blow... at the time it felt like we werent doing enough.
Hahaha it still makes me laugh to this day, we were so immature and very focused on having a good time and creating memories that it seemed as though time stood still even though we were doing the same shit every day but now we've all moved on to doing our own things.
I miss you guys so much and I honestly wonder if you guys think of me the way of think of both of you. I didnt want to grow up but I had to. I felt like were standing still but in reality you guys were doing what you loved. Playing guitar and other instruments, skating and going on missions to hang out with friends, parties with the kids we all grew up with. A, I really wish your half sister went with your mom and you went with your dad but hes a fucking asshole so i cant blame you, dude. I hated your sister A, she was a stuck up cunt bible pushing bitch but you? You were the complete opposite man, you were exactly like me. It was like you were Ash and I was Gary even though, I felt like Ash at the time... you did what you loved. Yeah, I was the first pokemon champion, but youll be the first legend.

I just wish, I could have one more Friday with you guys. As if we woke up in our old houses aware that we were sent back in time.

I just wish.

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I want to think of all the good times we had together my tiny baby, I do. We had so many of them. I could go on for hours about how much I loved you. About all the intimate talks we shared. Holding your hand just talking to the convenience store was something I just NEEDED in my life. Kissing that little snowflake off your raven black hair. Coining the term "smile lights". Discovering all the little details of your body. The little nib on your collar bone. The feeling of pulling you into me by your hips.

I remember when I first slept in your room and your cat was terrified of me. But he forgot I was in there by the morning so he came walking in like he normally would all casually, looked up, and when he saw me fucking lost his shit.

I remember the first time you made me bubbly lemonade. God it was perfection. I loved making you coffee in the morning, afternoon, dinner, and latenight whenever you wanted it. I would spend so much time making sure I got the perfect balance of cream, sugar, and temperature. I remember the first time I made you biscuits and gravy...

The special events. New years. Our anniversary. Walking to the christmas markets to get dinner. Bringing it back to watch our favorite shows. Laying your head on my lap...

Pressing your head against my chest, your favorite place to be. Your place. Your safety. Those were the arms you belonged to.

God... this is why I can't talk about the good times tiny baby. I cry. I'm crying so hard. I don't know why you did what you did at the end. I know why you did everything else. I understand... but...

Why don't you trust me? I loved you with all my heart. I was so loyal and loving. No other woman entered my mind. I had you and that's all I ever wanted. I was so certain of you. God how I was so certain. I would marry you in a heartbeat. You question my love, you always did and you never had a reason to. I wanted to be with you always. To hold your cheeks in my hands and look into your french curve eyes.

>>17843476
Which personality disorder does she have?

It seems like you're projecting your morals and values onto her where they don't exist.

>>17839370
dear d,
i love you. i love you more than i've ever loved anyone. you're changing me and helping me and i see nothing but true beauty in you. however, talking to you can make me feel like dying sometimes. i just wish i was normal. i wish i wasn't so insecure and scared and weird. talking to you, i'm reminded of how easily everything comes to people and just how everything i do is completely wrong. you can joke and talk and ask and answer questions, you have your own personality, you have strong values that you believe in. every moment you spend around me is wasted time. i don't know what pushed you to take pity on this weak girl vying for your attention but i know that i can't be helped. i still won't leave. i'll always be here for you. just take me and use me and throw me away once you're done. but please please don't pretend to actually love me and get me used to this.

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I am your favorite person. I am the man you see when you close your eyes. It's my name you say when you touch yourself. I am the one you cannot live without.

Because of this, I am the one you trust the least. I am the one you wish you never met. You are so very terrified of me.

The fear I make you feel echoes throughout your ever bone. Every mistake you make hurts you a 100x worse when you're around me. Every insecurity is compounded dramatically. I make you question everything you do, every decision, every part of your character you are afraid to show to me. You don't want me to know because you are afraid I won't understand, I won't like what I see.

You hate yourself. You're disgusting. That is what you are and no one would ever accept you if they knew.

This is not true.

My tiny baby I am your favorite person for a reason. You are my favorite person for a reason as well. You know every part of me. I am terrified of you. I am scared of you. The paranoia you bring out of me. The insecurities. The fear of losing your love... turns me insane.

But I remember... I'm honest. I'm a good man. I am someone that should be loved. Someone that understands suffering. understands we are human. We make mistakes. We are born with beautiful imperfections. Mental illnesses... diseases within our bodies as well.

I accept you for everything you are because I am a good man. This is why I am your favorite person. I am honest with myself so I can be honest with you. I will never judge you. I will calm those shivers in your bones, sooth your worried looks. I need so badly to hold you in my arms and your sickness will absolve over me.

You're a beautiful woman. You've been dealt a death stroke but you remain standing where others would fall. This is why I love you. You have experienced life at it's rawest.

Don't fear me.
Don't think of me as your judge and jury.
Don't think of me as Me vs You
it's me and you vs the world

I love you.

It is not your fault.
You are a good woman.

>>17843724
>It seems like you're projecting your morals and values onto her where they don't exist.
Did you fail to read literally anything I said?

Of course it seems like I'm projecting. It's because she was mirroring me. It's just the reverse of projection.

She is borderline. It's a very common thing.

As well... what the fuck? You think I'm just pulling this out of my ass? That... I'm not going by her own fucking words? That I literally said that she might not be lying after all, she just doesn't know what her values truly are. She doesn't know who she is.

We would have very long, indepth talks over these things. Relationships, morals, values, ect. Later on in our time together all of these things we onced agreed upon are no longer what she believes. In the past she would say she needed a deep emotional connection in order to have sex with someone. Recently, she talked about how if I wasn't in her life, she would have just went to a coffee shop or something, pick up a random stranger and fuck them.

This type of value uncertainty and drastic change is characteristic of borderlines.

I don't know if she was just lying to me in the beginning, afraid I wouldn't accept her, if she was subconsciously mirroring my beliefs, or if she just doesn't know. She is very ill and I truly understand her struggle. It breaks my heart thinking about it.

I am mentally ill as well. I have schizophrenia.

>>17843736
>just take me and use me and throw me away once you're done. but please please don't pretend to actually love me and get me used to this.
if he did this, if you are still obsessed with him, if he continues to use you in such a way causing you permanent damage...

I'll fucking take a baseball bat to his knee caps and shove that bat up his fucking ass.

Get your ego under control. Your pretty for sure, but you literally think your too good for any man on the earth. Your not a 10/10 by any means, hate to break it to you. I'm not impressed when you come in and brag about how you only get 8's,9's, and 10's when I know that shit isn't true.
I refuse to feed your ego, just because everyone else does.
Also, don't act like you don't give two shits about other people and making friends and then try to constantly hang out with my friends. I don't mind but don't shit all over my friends then think you can try to come chill.

Here is what I'm worried will happen. That will almost certainly happen if things continue the way they are.

I'm not looking for another woman. I don't want any other woman. I'm sick of my heart constantly being broken, no one caring for me, and just want to improve myself. I want to do that with her, with my love, but...

My illness is causing me so much pain over this. Making my days so more harder than they should be. I don't know why people were convinced I was lying. I don't know why they think this will fade like a normal mind would function. It's going to be there, fucking with my head for so long.

If she just...

How do you guys think she will react when she stops getting my affection? The thought of her doing something drastic, to lash out, to pull me back in has never crossed your minds? What has she done in the past by just THINKING she lost me?

What do you think will happen when she sees me with a new woman? You think that's going to go over well?

I know there are other things causing her pain but for fuck's sake this is guaranteed to end badly if you think the problem will solve itself.

Especially consider who I am. What I do. Just always a constant in her life no matter what.

If she isn't taking her treatment seriously there will be some serious shit to go down.

I'm do happy that most of your friends are dead and that you are miserable.

That being a massive shit your whole life somehow didn't turn out okay in the end.

You never got too heavy into drugs but I hope once your girl leaves you you fall into the same pit that claimed your friends. Or crashing that stupid firebird.

>>17843761
Sounds like my old situation. Dated a girl with Bpd and after 2 and a half years I had a breakdown and was diagnosed with Schizo affective disorder

>>17839370
How could you--a man who is so educated, was raised in such a good home, and always espoused integrity and self-restraint--do what you have done to your family? I've always felt you've never loved me, and what you've done to mom and how you treat your family now confirms it. I will spend the rest of my life carrying the shame of an adulterer father. I'd have rather you killed yourself than do this to us

Miss Jackson,

I'm sorry, I am for real. Never meant to make your daughter cry. I apologize a trillion times.

>>17843884
She knows I have schizophrenia. Her friends tried to deny it but even they can clearly see how much this damages me. The ruminating thoughts, obsessing over what exactly had been going on.

She is terrified of me finding out.She has hired a PI to do some illegal fucking shit to me, (which is confirmed Not paranoia. Shes been using that as an excuse for so long. I am not paranoid type schizo). She has had to have spent thousands of dollars trying to just NOT tell me SOME of the things she has done. She won't even let her FRIENDS say anything. The lies she has spread about me to all of them, to her coworkers. As well, all of her friends are guys. So... yeah. Married most of them, making that shit impossible to work with.

Her other friends know she's acting like a monster but refuse to say anything. Shes for sure tried to kill herself to stop people from telling me. her only other friend that PRETENDS to care she gave stockholme syndrome to in the past. Like, that poor girl literall begged her to hurt her. To belittle her saying "she deserved it".

I get threatening messages all the time. All the fucking time. Facebook, twitter, emails. I get PHONE CALLS that are either prank calls or her. They are a crying girl barely whispering into the phone. Leaving short 1-2 messages or hanging up. It's a landline phone, making it difficult for me to track. They say "I want you" I'm sorry"

When she uses her phone, she comes online on skype. She refuses to block me. She refuses to say anything at all to me.

bet "friend" pz used telling me the truth as blackmail to get with her.

All of this TheSelf harm. The abuse. Manipulation. The money, all to prevent me, a FUCKING INNOCENT IN THIS, A MAN WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS, from learning what happened during the last 2 years of my life...

Yeah, I was a dick for a few days online but holy shit... to take that out of context, to say I wasn't pushed.

Wouldn't post a word of it. share with friends. Just gotta know.

>>17843982
the more crazy I get, the more she get's to play the victim. She get's to say "See! See how he is! He's so crazy! He's dangerous!"

the worst part that... I don't understand at all.

Her favorite movie is "A Beautiful Mind" She admired the romantic aspects, the way Alicia stayed and all of that. (Yes I know it's not accurate.)

Recently shes been acting less like that character and more like the ones mocking the man with a mental illness. That rather than be the tiniest bit selfless, to give me a short skype call of the truth... she would wish permanent brain damage on someone she loves. A man that was extremely loyal, passionate, romantic, loving, and honest. and holy shit I'm the one she based her life fucking on.... she's dragging her idol through the fucking dirt for... what reason? Why?

Traumatic, stressful events dramatically increase the development of schizophrenia.

but hey whatever right? Fuck that guy right? He was mean that time. Pales in comparison...

She knows I understand her actions are mental illness. I wouldn't judge her. She shouldn't feel guilt or shame telling me. I wouldn't tell anyone. My postings now are the only way I can communicate with her. It's so fucked up.

>>17844028
I get that man. The self harm, manipulation, and suicide attempts for her. She had this perfect boxed perception of me and when I got sick I didnt fit her ideals of me anymore. I still remember her tweeting "If I ever develop Schizophrenia, I swear I will shoot myself" I couldnt explain how my world was falling apart and when I tried she would just yell and scream at me. I had to distance myself from her. And when I ended up in the hospital for 5 days not once after the fact did she even see if I was ok. It was all fucked man. When everything was falling apart it was all my fault. I was the asshole and there was no blame on her part.

>>17844040
When it started to get noticeable she wanted to leave and that just fucking broke me that day. I didn't threaten anything but holy shit. I was so patient and understanding of her problems and she couldn't take 10 minutes of me having typing errors or... well the blackouts would freak anyone out but still.

I wasn't THAT bad. I saw things, heard things, but was normal 99% of the time.

October, november, and now though... have been a nightmarish hellscape for me. She just... DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A FUCKING TRACE a few days before our anniversary trip (were LDR. Planned to NOT be but... her illnesses prevented it).

The night before she disappead, she told me so much shit that was just... obviously twisted by her psychosis. It was in her face, her words. Her actions. She... hates herself for what she has done to me. For what she is hiding. She can't even look at me... but it's not like she's fucking trying AT FUCKING ALL.

I was super good for weeks. Even though she was manipulating me, TRYING to get me to act out. Baiting me with shit. Saying I was the one that was lying, abusive, toxic to everyone... even though she admitted she was.. and.. fuck...

The things she has done behind my back are disgusting. They are vile. They are shameful acts that are absolutely UNFORGIVABLE...

Unless... unless that one thing that turned out to be true. That thing combined with her mental illness just breaks my fucking heart. She is suffering so god damn much right now. She has been used by disgusting fucking people and these people CONTINUE TO FUCKING USE HER. SHE CONTINUES TO BELIEVE SHE IS A WORTHLESS WHORE ONLY GOOD FOR BEING A CUM DUMPSTER... that... her reason for even being in a long term relationship was taken away from her. That she..

god dmanit it makes me cry so fucking much. To see her in... those men are so fucking disgusting. just... FUCK. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DESERVE LOVE. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. TALK TO ME.

She probably would have done the same thing and just left had I not done it first. The thing was she was already getting involved with someone when I was all fucked up and the day after I ended it she was already with someone else. Didnt last long. Only a year before she cheated on him. And I get it man If only just talking and hashing it out would make everything all right. I had the opportunity to talk to her 2 years later at a party but the whole time I was boiling over and getting pissed because I had heard the shit she was spreading behind my back. Telling mutual friends that I had done unspeakable things to her. That I raped her and that I hit her. Both are total bullshit. When talking to her I had to try not to explode. I ended up just telling her to tread lightly with me. Havent said a word to her since. Too many lies man. Cant fucking do it.

>>17844069
God tiny baby you surrounded yourself with fucking sociopaths, you use these people AS SELF HARMING.

They are not the ones you should listen to. You continue to lie to me saying you are talking to the fucking "savior". How he TRULY believes he's helping is fucking beyond me. He knows you're vulnerable, have a mental illness and still chose to take advantage. To flirt with you...

it's just... this situation has made me disgusted in humanity. Not only these men, but the fucking coworker, the wives, the girlfriends... your friends that KNEW ALL ALONG all chose to not say a fucking thing. Why? because you fed them all fucking lies about me since day one. And the only thing they knew me from was when I snapped. They didn't look at that situation objectively. To see how it took years of abuse, many many times of me trying to get you to tell me what was going on, the obvious lying...

No. They "Didn't want to pick sides". That's not what this was. IT FUCKING NEVER WAS ME VS YOU. I was ALWAYS on your side. I ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. TO GET HELP.

you say "I have to make that decision" But guess the fuck what? YOU FUCKING CANT. THAT IS LITERALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU.

Do you not understand what psychosis is? What it means? You... TRULY BELIEVE you didn't have a problem. Your reality was distorted, sick. The same as it is now.

So these people tell you to do the one fucking thing YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING.

Which is avoiding your problems. They think if you fucking IGNORE SOMETHING IT BECOMES BETTER SOMEHOW.

Because again... they see this as YOU VS ME. That I WAS THE FUCKING PROBLEM... not your mental illness. Not your psychosis.

And.. many of them DID see that. They new you had fucking illnesses but they are legit sociopaths. They don't fucking care how much you get hurt as long as they get what they want.

It's not your fault, Ok? You are a good person.

You are worthy of love. I LOVE YOU. I WILL NEVER JUDGE YOU.

>>17839370
A general not to everyone on this thread:

Heed the words of Nelson Algren:

Never eat in a place called Mom's, never play poker with a guy called Pop, and never fuck anyone crazier than you.

>>17844088
See I don't care about hashing it over. She is "getting help" supposedly but she has another extremely serious illness making this entire thing a bigger clusterfuck than it was before.

The problem I have are the thoughts.You fucking know that shit. Just.. I can't work. It consumes my mind, absolutely bogs it down. To make it all fucking worse I am extremely intelligent. Because of the thought emphasis shit, I am multitasking to extreme degrees. Working, watching a movie, listening to music, writing...and of course thinking about all the lies, the deceit, how far the rabbit hole goes. The entire time I don't miss a detail from any of these things.

Hours pass like fucking centuries. I am bored out of my FUCKING MIND WHILE MULTITASKING WAY TOO MUCH.

It would do me so much good to stop the pattern seeking, scanning conversations in my mind, looking for connections with her social media posts... ALL WHICH I FUCKING REMEMBER PERFECTLY BECAUSE FUCK MY MIND NEVER FORGETS A GOD DAMN THING...

until recently that is. The blackouts. The stress induced psychosis where I just... act like an insane person. After which I remember it like a dream, a nightmare.

This is of course... all fucking drowned out by the chattering, the laughing, the degrading. Just shut the fuck up for once for fuck's sake ok? I get it, I suck. I'm a bad person. I shouldn't trust anyone. You don't have to all fucking say it again and again all at once all the fucking time.

Did I also mention I have gone completely untreated for awhile now? For some reason getting a psychiatrist visit is.. as hard as getting her to tell the truth.

>>17844105
>never fuck anyone crazier than you

Well...ummm

hmm...

Tiny baby... If we follow this rule then I'm the only man for you.

>>17844100
Turning to the false ways of the world, listening to the whispers encouraging her to find "Happiness in Self Destruction" Loving someone who was so fucked up they had trouble seeing herself as worth anything in this world. For two years being her Guardian Angel trying to show her the light of the world instead of the darkness she was so familiar with. Perhaps it was doomed from the beginning. Two completely different people. But you know what? I gave it everything I had until there was nothing left of myself. Had to pick up the pieces. Even today I still think about her every day. Once you have saved someones's life you are bonded for life.

People need to recognize the role being BPD play. And even more important is to care for someone in spite of it. And I agree with you, It was never me vs you. It was always you vs yourself and me vs myself.

>>17844119
Ive been there with the racing thoughts and having everything raging in my mind. I stayed up for 5 days before I was able to get some help. I have been able to slow down now. If you cant get in to see someone my suggestion would be to go for a walk. Just being outside in nature may help with all the thoughts.

>>17844105
You're right about to never stick your dick in crazy. You never know where they have been.

>>17844130
>Turning to the false ways of the world,
What do you mean by this?
>It was always you vs yourself and me vs myself.

No, it wasn't. I can multi task, remember?

And I wasn't trying to save you as manipulation. I wasn't doing it to "win" you.

I was trying to do anything of the sort.

I just wanted you to recognize that bad thigns were happening around you.

When you... say you were pretending to be happy so we can be friends...

you meant it in the same was as the others?

You can be like that way with me then. Just talk to me. It's ok.

>>17843746
>tfw this sounds exactly like something he'd say but I know it's not him
how?

>>17844148
and I don't mean... be a friend with me just for sex. She's too far away for that anyways but...

to at leasdt talk to me. To know I'm not judging her.

At the same time I realize that... she was using ME in order to CONFIRM she is a bad person. She was using me to help feel less guilty, to feel better for what she was doing.

She would say something about how cheaters were awful. How her BF had a boyfriend that shared their skpyes... how her friend fucks all her other friends and the male friends fuck all the diffferent female friends... about threesomes..talking about love, emotions and connections...

SHE KNEW I WAS GOOD THE ENTIRE TIME.

She believed in the fact I was true good. A paragon. I was her moral compass...

But she didnt' want to be good. If she was good, that means her actions were bad and she would feel bad.

if she said "Like... M sleeps around with all her friends right? I just, don't see how..."

and I would say no, loyalty, emotion and love are more important...

To her, that meant to a true good, she was, without a doubt, not a good person. Which means she's not expected to do good things. So her deeds weren't hurting anyone because they hsould have notcied she was a bad person. It's not her fault she was born bad.

Which means she did not feel guilty for what she had done... for a little bit at least. Until the guilt came back.

>>17844181
(and no, I don't think she is a bad person)

And thiink about it darlin. If you need to be confirmed you're bad to justify the guilt you feel for what you do..

You are feeling guilt. If you TRULY WERE A BAD PERSON YOU WOULD NOT FEEL GUILT.

Guilt means you're a good person. Getting help, going to the psych is a confirmation of this. That you are TAKING ACTION TO GET BETTER.

>>17844148
What I had ment by that is that there is a lot of alluring superficial bullshit around in the world. Just need to find people to be real with. That's one of the toughest things to do now a days as people put up so many walls and have so many facades. Yeah it would be nice just to talk and be real with each other.

>>17844186
She says often she will die alone. By this I think I understand now..

beauty doesn't last. She is very very so sure she is beautiful. In fact, I 100% this post -> >>17843789
and really.. we aren't so different. BPD use to be a subtpye of schizophrenia afterall.

Pretty much schizoaffective disorder.

>>17844185
It seems people can be a product of their environment. For her it was a bad past that contributed for her love of metal and fuck everything mentality. One of her favorite shirts with big bold letters on it was "I DONT NEED A FUCKING SAVIOR" Some people just dont align with higher ideals. She was completely void of anything spiritual. I don't necessary mean religious. You can be spiritual and believe in over arching values and universal truths without following a specific religion. But anyways a complete lack of a deeper connection with something greater than herself was painstakingly apparent.

I saw your post "how".

.Many ways tiny baby... talk to tomorrow.

>>17844156
rr...

Give me the correct number. Now. please.

Don't do that to me ok? Let me have time with you...

Please...

>>17844225
i think this thread has been "darlin" and "tiny baby" replied to death. I hope it dies soon

>>17844252
>eplied to death.
Don't say that please. I love my little baby...

Many letters, all lovingly penned by J

C- You're perfect. Leave your dumbass husband and do you until you die. You don't really know how to stand up for yourself, but in a sweet way?? You're smarter than that.

T- I'm not even sure how to say the exact way you make my life better. Most people won't call me on shit because they assume I know more or something. You're wiser than that, so thanks for keeping me on my toes and telling the truth.

J- I don't think you're going to kick any asses or that you haven't cried in 6 years. I wish you could just let your guard down around us. Also, stop acting like the rest of us can't take care of ourselves. You're fat and short, not the hulk. Stop seeking our approval all the time. You were talking like you agreed with us, well surprise bitch I was talking about shit your conservative ass thinks I should be in jail for. I like you. I do! I just wish you'd stop lying and posturing.

A- You've made a lot of stupid decisions I can't really fault you for but also what the fuck. Spend your money on your son, not sex toys. See what you can do about selling and getting a lower mortgage or something. I get what it's like to be in college forever, but unlike G I don't have huge expenses and a child. Fuck. I know he wasn't planned but you have him, so grow up.

Seriously, I actually really, really, like all of you. We're family. But that also means we drive eachother crazy.

j,

i hope you like it gummy style you sick twisted fuck. almost ruining msi for me. i hate you. saying you're roxas. yeah, well, there's your axel then, cunt.

>>17844252
>tiny baby
Maybe he/she is a pedophile.

>>17840661
>listening to the female covers of diamonds and rust
>not listening to the original

FUCKING NUMALES

>>17844449
judas priest's was the cover, dummy

As for the rest of you, I no longer give a shit. When you've suffered and toiled for most of your life and you've seen next to nothing while some whore gets fucking everything of course we're going to be bitter. You're bitter and you complain about the same whores we do.

I'll do the work but I don't have to like it. And I don't have to like you.

Dear T
I want to fuck you

Dear K
I want to fuck you

Dear R
I want to fuck you

Dear C
You're a bitch for calling me a homewrecker

Dear J
You're a cunt for calling me gay

Dear I
Your boyfriend is a cunt and you can do better but I can't fuck with you no more

Dear me
you're a vapid petty slut and i hate you

C,
I tried really hard and I'm sorry, i couldn't be the person you needed me to be. everyday i prayed it would be different.
-w

>>17844449
Do you people ever stop for a second and think ''Wait a minute let me look this up wouldn't want to act like a complete retard'' or do you just slam your head on your keyboard hoping nobody notices that you shit in adult diapers?

>>17844562
W,
You prayed to the wrong god, and you did absolutely nothing to make it work. A more useless human being I've not had the misfortune of knowing. Don't contact me again.
C

>>17843746
That's lovely...

>>17843471
C,
May you find a way to have success in the next 3 to 5 years!

Anonymous.

Are you a guy or lady? Just wondering.

OP
Please use the original image next time you want to make a Write a Letter to Someone who will never read it!

Why did you even bother saving me that night?
Its pointless besides to watch me suffer to death.
I hope you are all enjoying the show.

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Hey, XX.

I'm sorry to say this but I don't think we should be in band together.

I feel I am going back into my downward spiral, and being with you is just reopening that cut. I'm not saying it's your fault, because it's not, I just don't want to go down that hole again.

This is just because I can't work with others well and I'd rather be alone than hurt you or myself again. I know about this and I don't like it.

I don't want to tarnish your ideas and your thoughts. I'm pretty sure you can find someone else a lot better than I am who can fulfill want you want.

I don't feel I will ever make a change for you.

But I don't know. I might regret sending this and I might even reconsider it all in like a week. I just feel this is the right thing to do now.

Sorry.

>>17843241
Sounds rapey...

Dear C.T
I know that I'm a girl and I'm straight but I think I kind of like you. I've even considered giving you a love note but... then my male (gay) friend asked me if I liked you, and I freaked out, and totally backed out of it

I like you a lot. I look up to you a lot and I think your really strong and brave. Your leagues maturer than me. You act tomboyish at time and you look great in all clothning, but you also can act reserved and elegant. You don't need to wear makeup to look beautiful, even when you get acne or you stay up all night doing your job, your still beautiful. You always think you're dumb because you sometimes fall back in school, but your so much smarter than me, you've learned multiple instruments, became great at drawing art, and you've even got a stable job at a young age. Your so brave and strong too, when we were younger and thinking about running away from home (yes, i know that's edgy) you were the one who told me to stop. Even when you have panic attacks I want to be by your side. Even though you'll never love me, you'll only look at me as a plain looking girl who can't do anything and will end up working in a cubicle her whole life, i still love you. I've never dated anyone- I'm known as a dumb fujoshi by all my friends- but I really like you a lot. I'm not sure if it's romantic, platonic, sexual, or all three, but I really do. I'm sorry if this letter is hard to understand, I'm a pretty bad writer as well.

Thank you for lightening up my life. I've always liked you a lot, but I've never been able to tell you, afraid it would end our friendship

-Sayaka

>>17843288
Brah..
Is your last name Ward?

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Why did you play with my feelings when you already knew you couldn't forget that douchebag?

other people aren't a sandbox you can test your identity in you know.

i love you, i really do, but all i can feel now is pity for whatever you used to be before all that shit happened.

You were my first kiss and the first time i truly loved someone, and i wont lie, it was disgustingly, painfully hard to forget you and get over such an important step of my life.

if i have anything to ask of you know, is to recognize people as beings with feelings that can go through very hard relationships just like you did. Dont be the cause of those hard relationships, please. And be more clear with your feelings towards people

ill never forget your smile, your confidence, your big, dumb heart and how you used to curl up my hair in your fingers when we laid down on the grass.

When we held hands you gave me some hope for me to not die alone, and now i realize i would have rather died alone than go through as much suffering as you put me in

I love you, but i fucking despise you and i hope that one day i can re-live my life, without making the mistake of getting closer to you

J,

you said you would call, but you sent me a weird text instead and then didn't respond when i replied

you are super interesting and gorgeous i hope we hang out soon

A,

Jesus Christ it's been 3 years since we met. I remember seeing you in biology (the one week I studied it before switching class) but I never had the balls to talk to you. Until you sat next to me on the bus, and you were the one who striked the conversation. Kinda weird for the girl to start, but I'm a shy, self conscious cunt. I remember that I began liking you from the moment I saw you, and a few of the students suspected I had a thing for you, which was true. I was confident I could really be with you.

That's until I was told you already had a BF. Two weeks after meeting you. And 3 years later, you still pop up in my mind. Usually I don't really have a problem getting over girls but I have no fucking idea what the fucks wrong with me, I should've moved on months ago. But how can I? You're beautiful, funny, smart and so fucking supportive, and I know these are generic things, but honestly I'm speaking from the heart. Even when I failed my first year of college, you still supported me and helped me get through my second year. But now you've moved away from uni, I guess it'll be slightly easier.

That day when we hung out and got high... I'm not really a weed person, in fact I quite hate it, but it was such an amazing night. I wanted to kiss you then and there so bad, but I fucking restrained myself. I'm such a fucking cuck, too nice for my own good. I think I'm quite attractive, but I'm socially autistic. I really want to change my flaws, but it's far too late to get with you now. I want to wish you best of luck, and I sincerely hope that you end up with someone that loves you with all their heart.

Y

Dear Elliot,

I miss you buddy. I thought we were gonna make movies together someday, now I'm not so sure. I'm worried of how far I'm going to make it in life. I wish we could've hung out more, you were a very good friend. I miss being creative with you. Hope you're doing okay. Wish we could talk again like we used to instead of half-assed messages over facebook. I hope this isn't the end.

>>17845249

Male

>>17839370

I love you.

>>17846612
I love you too.

Me and you might have some different values, and outlooks in life, but I feel like we share the same opinions on values that we both could smile about. I wish you would go out of your way to contact me, I gave you the ball in your court, even if nothing might come out of it, I bleed to know what makes you, you. The first time we introduced ourselves to each other, and shook hands, I felt a good spirit in you, a warmth I have never felt before. The excitement that I gained when I saw your name in the new employee paper work as I was getting employed a day later than you brought a smile to the soul I though I had lost. Every time you looked over at me, and we locked eyes and smiled brought warmth in the cold mornings, or when you would touch my arm after a horrible joke or rant I made wanted me to please you more. I wish you would contact me, and go out on that lunch date with me, but if you really don't want to, that's fine, as I told your last day of work, you are a good spirit, and you will do good things in this world.

Dear M,

When we first met we were both so happy to talk to each other, but now I feel like we're both falling out of touch, we talk, but it feels empty and like we are suddenly wasting each others time more than enjoying each other. Lets hope it changes.

G

>>17846620
hey, get your hands off my woman

Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I ever made, and it destroys me even more that after almost 5 years you still refuse to give up on me despite the fact that halfway across the country from you now. Everytime you send me a cute picture of yourself it brings me to tears. It fucking destroys me

But what you need to know, is your parents are absolutely horrible people. If you want to blame someone for our break up, blame them. I really wish I could of explained that when we broke up, but it'd be more selfish of me to ruin your relationship with your parents that much more than it would be to get my way and your way. I wish your parents didn't hate me as much as they do, I don't even know why they don't like me that much. But 90% of the time it felt like I was dating your parents more than you. I can't feel comfortable around you when your parents are texting me for conversation, like that's fucking weird. And anytime you would do something wrong in your life your parents would blame it on me. I'm glad you could ignore them saying that it was my fault you flunked your first semester of college, but you need to understand that it's a lot harder to ignore "You made our little girl flunk her first semester of college!" coming from someones parents via text.

I just want you to know, I feel like an asshole, but until you can get your parents off MY back, I can't date you. I want to date you, not your fucking parents

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You've been given so many chances to do well, and yet each time you fuck it up just because of her. When will you learn to move on and not fuck stuff up because you're thinking about her? When will you grow up and move on? I know this shit has taken a toll on you but you have to hold on for 5 more days. After that, it's a clean slate, no matter the result. No more looking back at her. No more wishing for things that will never happen. Grow up and move on.

>>17844513
Whore.

Dearest Lyndsey,

Even after a year, I am still struggling with despair and regret over you. More recently, however, I've been engaging in blind rage instead. I hope that, wherever you are, you're having a horrible time. You're a selfish, corrupt, lying, contemptuous bitch. I hope all of your petty schemes of revenge that you obsess over turn back on you. I hope that whatever dumb cunt you fool into falling in love with you dumps you on your ass after you lie one too many times. I hate your fucking guts and the very sight of your name gets me spun up. You're a painted, vainglorious whore who thinks making your outsides look more appealing will somehow shore up your lack of integrity and honesty on the inside. You disgust me, filth.

Sincerely,

Abe

>>17843409
I really am. And I know. We ghosted each other. I stopped talking to you because I thought you were ignoring me. Make me stop loving you.

>>17846859
Didnt mean to post with op

Dear C,
This will be the last thing I ever say to you. I hope you do well. I regret thinking that I was worthy of wasting your time.

Dear S,
This will be the last thing I ever say to you. I hope you do well. I regret thinking that I was worthy of wasting your time.

Dear C&K: you did your best but it wasn't good enough. I can't live for you. Let me fail.

Dear J: I love you. I hope you do well.

Dear F, R: I hope you do well.

I don't understand. Why are people replying to other posts as if they're talking to them? Not everyone is talking to you, especially if your name just so happens to start with the letter that they are addressing in their post.

>>17847312
It's a joke and it's funny... Don't we all love to laugh?

ilona u cuck why did u delete ur facebook

now i can't stalk ur pics anymore reee

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Hey A

Its been almost 2 and a half months since we talked. It still seems hard trying to move on but I'm trying. I still love you and I think a part of me always will. I'm trying my best to be productive though. Going to ask out another girl soon; not sure if she will be good enough to replace you. Its weird, I should want someone to replace you but at the same time I don't. I guess I still hope one day we can give it another shot. I haven't forgotten my promise to you though, we will talk again one day as friends if not lovers. You were my best friend before we were intimate.

>>17847328
I thought /adv/ was a place of cringe and despair.

>>17847360
just because you're here doesn't make it so

Red heering? Blyaat

TOTAL WAR
GLOBAL NUclear WAR

You already loved someone else by the time I met you. The universe would have to rearrange a million things in order for us to end up together. I love you. I can't have you.

Instead I entertain thoughts of alternate universes where my dreams come true. I hope there's someone out there for me who's just like you. Who looks at me in the same way I look at you.

>>17839370
I think about you sometimes


hope you're doing ok

K,
I guess that after hellish midterm week you still don't have time to sit down for a drink. Oh well, fuck me for trying to be friendly.

K,
You're cute, sexy and hard to read. I think the only thing we have in common is the attraction we feel for each other, but I might be wrong.

K,
I feel a bit of regret that I talked you out of breaking up with your boyfriend. Who knows, we might have had a nice time.

K,
You were throwing yourself at me over messages, you still like most of my stuff, but to be honest the only thing I'd want you is to put on that neck thingie, open your mouth and take my dick.

Yeah, I know and interact with a lot of Ks, fun stuff.

Does P really mean that much more to you than I do? Were you that obsessed with them since all that time? Is all that work and all those captions truly all about P? A year ago they were all about me.

All those posts from earlier, about P giving you a second chance, missing their kiss after 8 years. "We were together for 4 years afterall." What about the other posts saying "It is you I am waiting for. Who else if not for you? I've accept I'm going to die alone."

All of that was for them? I was a lie? Why is this so hard for you to tell me?
-A

>>17846620

<3

Everyday I wonder if you still love me, and if I still love you. If we meant it when we said we did back then.
It's a bit sad that we're not together anymore, but at the same time, we really wouldn't be good to each other, would we?
I don't know. I look back and think on my mistakes, on yours and I don't really see how we could be together after all that.
Once, we agreed it was entirely possible we'd end up together again one day. Comforting thoughts. But I don't really think so anymore. Not after all that happened this year. I can't speak for you, but the things that were said and done(on both sides) just can't be brushed off. Even though this is just the present me speaking. Who knows how much my mind will change in the future.
I really hope you're well and happy. Call me selfish, but sometimes (like now), I wish you kept our memories on a sweet note. But honestly? You probably don't even think about any of it, or look at it all with resentment.
That's a sad thought. One I probably shouldn't have. Kinda late for that.
Anyway, I should be going. Didn't plan on writing, let alone this much.
Always wishing you the best ever.

Sorely,
Me.

>>17848181
: 3

I love you Alexandra.
I would have done anything for you.
I love you.
Happy life.
Farewell.

-Julien

I couldnt figure out what I need to do,
perhaps, my mind are so preoccupied with your existence and find myself, miserably trying to get you out of my head. Hopefully this reach you,
forever miserable for you
Haseena

the hell I ever do to you?

Were you that jealous? Really?

is that entire "crew" involved?

How many of my things did you all take? When it was just her and maybe the PI I was... I didn't go to that meeting I had planned with the alphabets. I was worried about her too much. I managed to find a phone log and found some disturbing information.

Just... seriously. What did you all take? What did you have planned to attack me?

fucking WHY? I was INNOCENT in this. Christ... you guys have no idea how much I went through. How AMAZING I was to her. Yeah, I said some awful shit around that time but to take that out of context... is absolutely dishonest.

Not to mention she needed to break her psychosis.

If you want to post those nasty things I said go ahead and do it. I'm sorry for taking it TOO far. Innocent people were hurt by her, however. You can't deny that.

Again, I legit apologize for taking it too far at times. I believe I'm a good man. I know I am. I know I said things out of an incredibly unstable emotional state. RM might think I'm just "an asshole" but I do have mental illness. Depression, anxiety, anger... all common with Schizophrenia. To say I'm paranoid however? That's hard to say. How many people WERE lying to me? How much shit WAS going on?

I love her. I truly do. She has... just a very bad disorder. Her parents are callous. Her mother perpetuates her mistrusts. She needs help. Not to be taken advantage of. (Yes, I'm away of my own "need of help." God damn hospital... I don't know WHY IT'S THIS FUCKING HARD FOR THEM TO CALL BACK)

Can we all talk about this like adults now? No more hiding, no more lies. No more bullshit.

I'm so tired of bullshit.

>>17839370

Dear V,

Will I ever stop thinking about you? Will I ever stop trying to figure out what I did wrong, what mistakes I made? Will I ever stop regretting my decisions? I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought everything would be okay. I thought you were on my side and wanted me to be happy.

I think about you all the time, every day. You have a beautiful life now, without me. Why did everything have to happen like this? I tried really hard. I wanted things to be good for both of us. I tried to talk to you, but you wouldn't listen.

What do you really think of me? Do you ever think about me? Do you remember me?

I feel a hole in my life where you used to be.

I can't make myself happy again.

I just wanted us to have something beautiful together

>>17848499
Can I also mention that my computer network had shit security? And Yes, you used thatxp machine to remoteconsole my network to access my machine to install your rootkits. Did you do it on his machine as well?

I thought if I just said "hey, I know you guys" you would stop but you didn't... I don't know why. Didn't you already have enough? Did you need to take more shit for your attack on me? The public roasting?

There is a REASON I don't post my work anymore. I'm having a very very VERY HARD TIME. It's fucking truly terrifying what I'm going through, ok? I use to be able to bust out a ca in... just so fucking fast. Now it takes me a week to do 10 minutes of work. I'm trying to make it easier but it's just not working. I hate it all.

Can't you asses see that I haven't taken any new freelance commissions in a year and half? Do you think I'm just lazy? You're harassing and abusing a mentally ill man that just had the love of his life stab him in the back. Why?

I just wanted to know... for how amazing and loyal I was to her... I deserve that don't I? The only girl you all accuse me of being "unloyal" to her was only a friend. I have painted many friends. She lives thsouands of males away and has a partner. I didn't send any pictures, I didn't get any nude pictures. And EVEN IF there was... I wasn't with my baby at the time. She was being abusive to me at the time.

She didn't "officially" break up with me until LATE november. The first time... on the 6th... was just like any other time she "broke" up with me. She specifically made me promise her to NEVER believe her when she was in a psychosis of rage. Believe me, she was. You can see it in her face when she's lost it.

She begged me so many times.. pleaded. "Please PLEASE never let me go. Please. Promise me, J, promise me to be understanding, be patient, and never judge me for my mental illness. I would NEVER do or say those things to you in my sanity. You're the most amazing, perfect man in the world"

Dear Tiphany,
When we first met, I didn't know what to think. You were my best friends girlfriend, and remained as such for a long time. Eventually, we became closer, comfortable. I could be myself around you, no strings attached. You accepted me with open arms, that's when the flame within myself began to grow. You're incredibly smart, witty and have a great sense of humor. The caring and nurturing part of your personality is what I cherish most. You're beautiful, outside and in, and I can't help how I feel about you. When I gaze into your eyes, I see a future together. Even if we never actually get together, I will always hold you close to my heart. The last time I had seen you was almost 2 years ago, then out of nowhere you appeared. When we hugged, the world around us disappeared, floating in space. Holding you in my arms was the closest thing to love I'll ever achieve.

ugly bitch die already you annoying chinkstain.

>>17848537
Could you guys also PLEASE tell me what the fuck you told MM?

WE NEVER HAD ANYTHING. Christ. I never pretended to have anything. I was always 100% honest and open about that. My ex was obsessed with her as well. She would give me shit about it all the time. I never understood why... Yes, she was on my stream a lot during that time. and I was on hers. We shared artwork all the time. I really liked her stuff, she liked my. We skyped a couple times. She helped me out by shooting a few ref for things like the mermaid. They weren't nude. They weren't erotic. Just... standing there. Hands.

We stopped talking when she moved for work. I also moved for work. She use to stay up to talk but the time zone killed that. We talked a few times after that, I wasn't a huge fan of the way she was with older, married men. That's her thing. I didn't give her shit for it.

She gave me shit for my thing though.Sorry for being a downer, for being sad. Clearly, you can see many many many people take advantage of me. Harass me. Lie to me. Hurt me. I just wanted to love and be loved. I'm sorry that was too much to ask.

And againnnnnn I know I was an ass for like.. 4 days in november. Then again a couple more when you started to create fake accounts to harass me. Again, I apologize. Took it too far. again again... to not be empathetic, to not see how far I've been pushed at that point... would be dishonest.

I don't know the full extent. I don't know what my love's friend M knew. Or how much L is lying to me now.

her friends like M, E, and N were against me from day1 cause of her lies from dec'15. She never told them those were lies. She never told them the reason I left. They didn't know how abusive and mean she was to me. She was my best friend. My lover. My partner. And she tore into me time and time again. Belittled me. M says she was so hurt, that M was there for her when I wasn't. Imagine how I felt. She knew she was love and treated amazingly. I was far more alone...

>>17848566
It's unfair to me that even you know...

how long does she have?

Why is everyone being so cruel to me?

Please tell me, ok? I didn't do anything to you. I didn't talk bad about you... well... unless you were the girl with her ex...

and.. if that's the case why won't you talk to me? Wouldn't you want to know more? Please message me. I'm sorry if I offended you in the past. I am.

See how angry you are now? I was the same way. Please understand. I just want someone to talk to me.

Jamie... I miss you hope your happy and that it's not so hard. All I have to ask is that we never talk again. But I will never stop thinking about you.

>>17848580
> know the feels man

>>17848592
well who are you then?

Were you associated with her? I was her man, the one she showed the world. Everyone else knew of her status. The friends that talked to her.

Could you message me? Please?

if I insulted you in the past I apologize. Again, surely you can be empathetic.

Talk to me. I'm ok... I won't post anything. I'm not telling people. I won't say who you are either. It'll all be confidential. You have my word.

>>17848603
Sure I would not mind. How do you want to chat?

Overall, I'm sorry.

I could've handled the situations better.

Not that you aren't to blame either, but really I should've gone about it different.

I don't know why I wanted to drag it on so much, I really loved you, and never thought you'd hurt me the way you did.

I thought I could forgive you. I thought I could get even. I thought we could work through it. I thought we'd be able to do it, I really did.

Our last moments together, I'd look at you while you were sleeping next to me, and realize I hadn't even looked at your face for the past year or so.

I hated it, I couldn't stand it. I'd see the lies. I'd see this beautiful innocent girl, who I thought would never hurt me, and then I'd see more of the lies.

Like, damn bitch I caught you multiple times over, wanred you, and we talked in depth on the situation.. And, what the fuck did you do? Didn't stop. Didn't show remorse.

Multiple fucking guys online, and able to save face and look me in the eyes and say you love me.

Then, when I'm in my full on depression, asking for alone time, trying to get over this, trying to heal.. You look on my phone, and see me reading about how to help myself get over your acts, and you fucking laugh at me about it?

That was the rudest fucking nail in the coffin I'd ever experienced. I was going out of my way to deal with being a fucking cuck, and you just go over the fucking top with disrespect, all over again.

Then cry and wonder why the fuck I won't kiss you, why the fuck I don't want to sleep with you, why the fuck I turn my back when you want to cuddle now.

I'll tell you why, fuck you.

You always wanted to play victim, it was always your hardship over mine, I could never have valid fucking feelings.

My friend said he ran into you at the gas station the other day. Said you were still crying. To be honest, I felt bad when he told me. I still do. I am still constantly stuck here thinking about how we could make it work, if only I could give it one more try.

>>17848624
just message me on facebook please... the boyfriend...

>>17848710
I don't know her or anyone your referring to. But I will still talk it out.

My favorite person, my love.

Please, let me be there for you. Let me do what I can. I will do anything to make you smile like before. I'll smother your neck in a million kisses. Your smile lights will shine brighter than ever before. Put your head on my chest and hear my heartbeat like you did all those times before. Relax your tired soul in the safest place in with world, a place meant only for you, in my arms.

Forget everything. All your problems, all your thoughts. Just lose yourself and focus on me like you use to before. When all that mattered, when all that was important surrounded your tiny form completely.

I love you so very much. Simple words do not have enough meaning to convey such love. No matter what, I will never judge you. No one can, no one will ever know how hard you've struggled. Not anyone, not I, your loving man.

I forgive you, truly. I'm honest, just as before.

Your favorite person, your love.
wwacom

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You would say "We are different people" confusing me. Was your BPD. I was confused because you seemed the same as me, mirrored my values and interests. You knew this wasn't who you were.

You are extroverted to an extreme degree. You constantly need to be around people. I have seen you with other people. You are loud, very animated, active, running, laughing. Grabbing onto people, hugging them. You do anything you can to get noticed. To get approval

Not a good way to be. Finding worth in other people will raise your anxiety levels. Your fear of not being accepted. Always being around others means you're focused on them, never on yourself. Never your own worth. If you aren't noticed, accepted, then you feel worthless.

I'm introverted to an EXTREME. I distrust everyone. My worth is sure, I do not need anyone's approval. This means I don't really notice other people's disapproval. It's my core belief to be honest. To let people know what I think. This makes me unlikeable as no one likes someone who is opinionated. Unlike you, I don't find my worth in approval so I don't care. This makes me lonely. Very lonely and depressed. But I know my worth.

This is why we work so fucking great together. You bring me out into the world.Being with you gives me that ONE person to trust. When I feel like I'm being attacked, I can focus on you to calm down.

When you're with me, I give you that ONE person you need to feel accepted, while still being "Alone". This let's you find your true self. Focus on hobbies. Study. Think about who you are, what you have achieved. I challenge you intellectually, creatively, and morally. You don't have to entertain me because you know 100% you have my approval. You can focus on yourself.

It is not good to be with someone such as yourself. Everyone needs friends, company. We are social creatures. It broadens the mind and spirit. As well, if you are never alone you will never know your own worth. You need to learn how to accept yourself to be alone.

E,
Thank you for helping me realize how flawed my logic was and making me realize life isn't as bad as I once thought. I hope your life turns out well too.
J

>>17849159
This is why... you flirt so much. That you send your photos and more...

You have found that men are disgusting pigs. That all they want is to fuck you. To flirt with you. Think about how obvious JB was with you. He knew you had this mental illness. He's educated...ish. He knew exactly how to manipulate you to get what he wanted. Rather than do the right thing he took advantage of you.

You also know that men will no longer be friends or talk to you if you don't return those sexual feelings. This isn't because you aren't good enough, or because they are bad people. They are simply looking out for their own hearts. Being around someone you have a crush on that doesn't return those feelings is a shitty feeling. It has nothing to do with your worth.

Your BPD doesn't know that though. Your amygdala is overactive. When they flirt, warning sirens trigger in your mind. You get terrified they won't like you if you don't return that flirting. The warning sections of your brain are so fucking overactive, they completely block out every other thoughts. You absolutely can't help yourself you're so terrified of not being accepted. This doesn't mean you'll sleep with anyone, but you'll flirt more and more.

After they are gone, however, your brain is back to normal. You feel guilt for doing what you did. This lowers your self worth, making you even less sure of yourself. Making those warning sirens even more thought-inhibiting. This has gone on for so long, triggered by your trauma of the past...

it has developed into a full blown psychosis. Reality becomes twisted when you feel threatened. Worse, the part of your brain that handles danger just doesn't work. It hasn't been "exercised" enough due to fear of not being approved. You literally have no control of your actions. This is why you scream at me when I communicate love to you.

You need xanax, abilify, valium, anti-psychotics. Dull that fear response.

I love you.

Trust me, ok?

I know the way my heart skips a beat when I think of you is no mistake
Let us meet face to face again, and as we dance beneath the stars and look into each other's eyes we will find that we are meant to be

>>17849162
What's E's initials, yours?

How were you so flawed? Life sucks at times... it truly does. It's sucking pretty fucking hard for me right now but even if things don't work out for me, even if she is... not ok...

I got to know her. I got to know, even for just a short time, what true love is. The kind of love that once you have it, you KNOW what it's worth.

The kind of love that hurts so badly when it's lost but the thought of feeling that love again is driving me to become a better person. To take a real look at myself, my values, my worth. What I have to do to improve it.

It's still so fucking hard. God, how it's such a trial.

>>17849196
I want to believe this is you... and you mean these words to me.

You will need to answer one of my emails... please. Just those three words if it's you is all I need until you feel like talking more on your own time.

Those stars in the reflection of your french curve eyes are all I dream of. Your smile lights, brighter than any star.

It's ok. Email your favorite person.
ww

>>17849228
>>17849196
Just... don't lead me into this with having different expectations than me.

If you just want to drop little hint messages like that to lead me along, still incapable of talking to me one on one I'm not ok with.

If you want to try your hardest to be monogamous, to be with me, you need to talk to me and let me know this is what you want.

If you just want me to be a friend because you still plan on having sex with someone else (with the thought of having sex with me sometime in the future) you need to tell me that.

No matter what, I forgive you. You can trust me, I will not judge you. You don't have to have sex with me to be my friend. I won't ask for anything you don't want. I miss you. I miss talking to you.

Don't lie to me anymore, ok? No more lies, no more secrets. Trust me to not judge you. Communication and honesty are key in any relationship or friendship.

>>17849228
>>17849366
I am sorry, Anonymous.
I hope the object of your affections returns to you, but I am not them.

>>17849390
Did your "ghost" message you?

H,
Today I asked your friend about you. I had a dream last night, you were crossing the street all dressed in black, all graciously moving the way you do. I searched for you but you were gone.
She told me you are okay, I feel relief despite the fact that it was a predetermined answer, but it felt real anyway, I'll believe that you're doing great and try to move on, everything is fine with me, the only thing is that I miss you so much it hurts, sometimes I wish I was already dead but I know I'm just being a fool, life is beautiful but having you in my arms and now gone is taking the best of me.
The only thing I have is to take it as a challenge and keep going, be happy forever, you beautiful.

C,
I'm sorry for dissapearing and for trying to lift me up with your attention when other times I don't talk to you. You're very special to me, you amaze me in many ways and I appreciate our friendship.

Thank you

G

>>17849390
>>17849440
That's totally what it is. They were going to get back together but she found out about the phone calls to you...

Let me guess, he's messaging you again JUST BECAUSE she dropped him again and he wants to "cuck" me?

he's seriously bitter. Sour.

You listen to him when he calls me toxic, right? That I'm a terrible man?

Ask yourself this question. Which one of us is a liar? Which one of us has to hide what he's doing? Which one of us uses people?

He used you for years, you forget that? Then told everyone you never had a relationship.

I'm not saying this so you will get with me. He's not a good person. You don't need his approval. Remember, you're a good woman. Don't allow someone like that to use you.

At least I know exactly what kind of person he is now. I still just wish for openness and honesty. If you wanted to truly be with him, then go for it.

I just... hes the kind of man that would use a mentally ill woman.

This circumstance breaks my heart.

>>17849587
Just go ahead and do whatever it is you guys are going to do to me.

As JB stated "I wish you guys would just start already."

I just wanted honesty. If you're still not capable of telling the truth to anyone, if you truly believe you are a shitty person...

Hurt me. Hurt me with everything you guys have. Do it.

I forgive you.

>>17849390
Oh darlin...

You're not trying at all are you? There are... 4 people on this board alone you're talking to.

3 of them you tell them I'm pathetic, toxic.

I'm a patient man. I am. I'm a good man with a massive heart. You are not trying at all. You still post things specifically to lead me on because you know you can't let me go. That's why you haven't said anything.

If I leave... you will self destruct absolutely. You tried to kill yourself last time. Fuck.

what do I do? I know what they want. Your ghost, your savior, the little shit, and the others. They all want you which means they need me gone. They all so badly want me gone knowing how much I mean to you.

I love you. Don't harm yourself, ok?

You are worth more than you know. These men... are not worth their word. That's all a man has.

When they are able to talk to you while showing their faces to the world, then they might have worth.

Be above. Know they are taking advantage. Know their words are lies and hate towards me.

You know I was loyal to you despite it all. That I did love you. This is not to guilt trip you.

Just trust me. It's me, after all.

Goodbye... I'm sorry bad things happen, I am. I tried so very hard. I cannot help you... you don't want to help yourself.

Your wakkawacom. Your honest man.

Your idol. Inspiration. Your moral compass.

I love you tiny baby.
<3 million kisses.

Thank you for teaching me so much about life. About living life at it's rawest. About love, pain, and the pyramids in the haze/

Ryan I'm going to be beat you with a bat

Sam I'm going to cave your skull in if I ever see you

K,

I'm actually in love with you, I'm pretty sure you can tell. You seem to flirt with me a lot, but you're still getting over someone else.. What exactly did you mean by-

"if I weren't still trying to get over ___ I would've gone for you by now.. I don't want to get into something that would hurt you."

do you have feelings for me or what? Fuck

File: 1d7a12081e97396feeec5b9ff11c347c.jpg (65KB, 736x442px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 736x442px

It's been what, almost 6 years since you disappeared, T. I'm still looking for you, but I can't find anything and I was a smart enough thirteen year old to not call and actually end up losing your number.
If somehow, unrealistically, but hopefully read this, I want to say thank you. If there's anything I wish I could say more than that I love you, it's to thank you. Cringe as it may be, but you were basically Madoka in the sense that you got to me at the right time, that you were one of the first people to show me real care. Care over the internet, in a game, no less. But that comparison kinda continues with me. My life has basically just been revolving around you and I don't know if I'll make it through this. Six years has been so much strain on everything. I really don't want things to end like this, it would be too tragic and I really don't want to hurt people, but it's too much.
In any case, I wish the best for you, your family and friends. Just please don't have any kind of bad life, PLEASE don't be dead. I wish you all the best life possible. I really hope we can talk again, at least get a last goodbye if you don't want me in your life again. Good night though, sleep well every night. Have hope for the better things.

I guess that's done then. You'll keep talking to the creepy man with sunken eyes and craggy skin. Why does he have such a hard-on for me? Why does he always want what I have? One girl, sure. But two? That's just obsession. Because the first girl looked up to me? Sorry? Shes a cool person I guess. I don't know her at fucking all really.

you realize he will do the same to you, right? You're for sure not the only one right now. Think about it. How many do you have? He's exactly the same as you but creepy looking.

I tried. Even had a last ditch effort there for you to do something with yourself.

I guess I'll talk to you in a few years because you'll be back to obsessing over me...not because I'm so awesome but because you won't do anything about your illness.

The thing though... unlike twinx, you know how I am in relationships. Devoted to my word. I love you. I always will. Seriously, stop this. Remember that email you sent me? "God, please I need to stop..."

Dear doctor
Fuck you, I'm never taking your shots, I'm not getting cancer again, I don't want your mercury, rather get the flu for a few days then die of cancer.
If a company makes a car, and it's shit and everyone says it's shit, I won't buy it. If the same company makes a car but it's apparently the best, I still won't buy it, because you left a sour taste in my mouth and I don't feel like being cheated.
Fuck off, cunt

>>17850694
that's not how that works.

>>17839370
I want to kiss your stubble and nuzzle your neck. I want to be possessive of you, crawling under your arm when we're reclined in public. I want to buy you dinner and take you on adventures, I want to make you food and fail miserably at it. I want you to tell me it's alright and we joke about it for weeks to come. I want to slouch kindly over your back and cradle your cute stomach with my arms, trail slight kisses on your neck. I want to improve myself with you, in whatever way we can. Become better people. I want so badly to be your partner in crime, proficient in different outlets, contrasting and complementing one-another.

I want to make you happy, and feel assured. I love your smile, when your eyes light up so jovially. You captivated my affection so quickly, you. I wish you could see it...or perhaps you already do? All the comforting hugs and playful hand-holding helps sate my "thirst", but I'm greedy, and I'm sorry for that. You already risk so much to be so amicable.

I'm going to lose you in a couple of months. I can bear it, of course, but I will miss our friendship. I'll move on, but man will I never forget you. You were really fun.

I'm so thankful I haven't seen your posts here in a while. I'm very happy, now I want to forget. I'll always love you and something will tug at my heart when I think of you, so can you just stop appearing in the places I frequent so I don't have to feel that any more? And stop popping in my head at random moments, too. Go live your life and quit haunting me like a ghost.

Thank you.

I have never seen "Tell yourself whatever you have to." more applicable than today.

>>17850906
(since this is literally the only place you reply)
No, I'm sorry I can't do that. You know why. I was there first. I was there before any of you. I'm sorry you are the way you are I truly am. I'm sorry you had to do this to someone so extremely important to your entire well being. I don't just "pop up in random moments" I exist in your mind 24/7. I can't imagine the guilt you feel... that will never go away and you will be thinking of it always. Every time you look at your fancy 22HD screen. There I'll be. Staring right back at you.

Every future partner you have will be "Wow you were with him!?" I already know this happens with my other ex's. It kills them every time. For my name to so frequently pop up in their lives.

I'll always frequent those places though. It's what I do. I'm not going to stop doing what I do because of the pain your poured over me. It fuels me, you know this. It's all I have. The thing though... I influence so many. Inspire so many. I wouldn't have to frequent those places to remind you...

to remind any of you. Every single one of you knew of me years, decade before I knew you. I've played such a large role in so many of your lives...

It's ok guys. It is. We all are fucked up in our own ways. I'm internally critical. You're all incredibly outward destructive. I guess thats what bonds you all. You all found the perfect target to avoid the consequences of your actions. Just like she does, will I be surprised when I get the blame for everything? Nah. I didn't lie. I didn't cheat. I didn't hide. I wasn't deceptive.

I was an honest good man. I will sleep soundly knowing that. I love you. I forgive you, I truly do. I'm sorry for my mistakes as well. You're a good woman, you are. One day you'll realize it. I'll believe in you, like I always did.

>>17850979
(also please don't delude yourself into thinking this was anywhere CLOSE what I needed from you. The truth. This is not how you end a relationship. What you did was... just disgusting, it was. The reason you did it even worse. You've doomed me to years of incredibly difficult days. Ruminating thoughts. Unanswered questions. If I were a normal man, what you did would have just been "awful".

My mental illness makes this quite honest the worst thing ANYONE has done to me. Not even counting the nasty things before it. I truly wish you wouldn't do this to me. I wish you gave me the respect I deserve. I deserve so much more than what I'm asking for. he and the others will laugh and say "he deserves all this pain".

The fact they are saying someone deserves to be tortured is proof enough they are wrong. Who do you want to be in your favorite movie? The woman that helps the man, that eases his suffering of his illness or the assholes that mock him for being different, unique, an outcast. That's why you chose me though, right? Just like Rider?

like Digger... It's fine, you can tell your own story. It's your life, you are in control. You always told me "Don't tell me what stories I can or cannot tell." I didn't then so why would I start now.?)

>>17839370
Dear Mom and Dad:
You won't be reading this, because you're already dead. I'm sorry I'm such a huge disappointment to you, all the hopes you had on me were simple good will wishing, 'cause I'm an utter failure.
E, you're not reading this because you are a moronic bitch. I clearly doubt of your capacity to understand the concept of "Internet is not just Facebook. I trusted you. The simplest bigger wish of my life is to have never met you. Fuck you.
K, I hope your pussy rots in Heaven. Yes, in Heaven, because the shame of angels feeling that stench will make you wish you were in Hell. Hope that maggots will feast on you, and posteriorly puke till someone understands that not even scum would try to eat you.
L, personification of white trash, definition of golddigger, I sincerely regret having to be part of your life. Damn, I had only known people like you from Mexican soap operas. I have seen more grace and style from an used nigger condom.

C,
You always make everything so much better
Let's make this time last forever

That's exactly how people like her work. It was very obvious tonight. When her number 1 was found out, she dropped down to her number 2. When he saw something off, she swiftly moved to number 3.

With a thought to any of them. She DOES NOT care for people at all. She uses them until they no longer have their use or until something else triggers her psychosis. A married man denying her, a famous artist, whatever. She will cling onto one, say that she has never felt a love like this before, never in all her life... and then proceed to collect another group of men around her to fall back on.

Her partner count has to be in the triple digits.

Easily.

How many times did you hookup with a stranger while you were with me? You went to those places often. Did M know? just...
I know the extent of what you have done would make people disgusted. The number of partners... even at the same time.

Please, this is not going to end well for you. Stop this...(ok last one seriously. I just... fuck my mind needing to know how far the rabbit hole goes. I would have let it all go such a long time ago but for some reason she just wont...)

>>17851049
I was going to post saying how...

But it's ok. You have my blessing. I hope you two can work this out, truly. I hope you stop your destructive ways. You both find a way to remain loyal. To trust one another. To love one another. To have children and raise a loving family with God in your hearts.

Please... try. Try in a way you never did for me. From day one you lied... you can't do that again. You need to keep this promise. Make this last, forever. Please, let me see many pictures of you smiling. Being happy.

Just... be happy. Live a happy life.

>>17851108
Can you just stop no one cares honestly why are you constantly flooding these threads.

>>17851231
When you told me "You never loved me."

What you meant to say was "I never loved you."

When you said "I need trust in my relationship" you meant to say "This relationship won't work because I can't be trusted."

From before even Chicago you were lying to me. You were keeping secrets, other men. Everything about the last 2 years was a lie.

I wish you told me. I wish you didn't take advantage of me. For the attention I gave you.

Just... be happy ok? Don't feel bad about not loving me. Lying, cheating... it's ok. I do forgive you. I just want you to be happy. I want to be happy too. I'll never get what I'm owed and it's going to be a long struggle for me. if I seem off, or ranting one day pay no mind, It'll pass eventually until the next time. I'll truly try.

You know how beautiful love is to me. Find your love. Please.

>>17851232
>OMG SCHIZOPHRENIC IS RAMBLING
It's almost as if I didn't lie about that. With the constant ruminating thoughts asking exactly what all was going on. The obvious lying. The "I have more in common with your ex than you know." bullshit.

But it's just what's going to happen. I'm just going to ramble.

I'm sorry I'm using up your precious internet. I'll make sure to wash the tubes when I'm done.

I'm really happy about all the things we did.
text at night with no end
Go out and have fun with our friends and other simple things like watching a movie with you.
And that is what makes me happy
now that you are with him I just wonder: if that was me then I would have treated you better...you deserve that and more.
But I guess you are happy with him because you smile with him more than when you were with me...
now I just hope you have a better life. because if you are happy, I'm happy.
While your life is at its best
Mine is just going downhill after the "end"
Its been hard after you left me
I sometimes remember when I'm about to sleep, those things that made me happy and just... cry myself to sleep.
Because I know that will never happen again.
Now I go out talk with other people, text, go on dates, and they think I'm funny and cool.
But I'm just crushed and sad most of the time because none will be like you.
I hope that I didn't get you uncomfortable with my words.
I wish I could just die
And try again...

>>17850906
>tfw this could be to me, but it's not

C,
We probably should have never talked to each other. I genuinely think the last few months of both of our lives would have been better if we had never met. Still, of all the new people I've met this year, you were the most interesting, and I'm glad my life is a little worse off right now, if that makes sense. I know that I have attachment issues. One of my biggest fears has always been that I would open up to someone and really let them know who I am and they would reject that. And, well, that's pretty much what happened with you, and yeah it hurt pretty fucking bad. I tried to keep at least something going between us because then I wouldn't have to accept it as a rejection. But here I am, in the same place I was before I met you. If it weren't for social media, it would basically be as if we never met.

I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I really don't think I did. I don't think I was important enough to you for me to hurt you. Either way, even though I don't particularly want to be in contact with you, I don't say anything bad to my friends about you, and I wish you nothing but the best in the future. You have the leadership skills and charisma to really make a difference in the world.

P,
Man, it hurts me to say this because you're one of my better friends, but you're just such a fuck. I mean, overall you're a great guy, or at least a a great friend, and unless you do some straight up despicable shit I will always have your back. But I fucking hate it when you try to talk about how you're so socially awkward, or so weird, or so nerdy. I know it's a small thing, but it bothers the hell out of me. You have a multiple large circles of friends, you have a lot of normal hobbies, you know how to dress well and you hook up a different girl practically every weekend and this is AFTER turning down multiple cute girls. Coming from a guy who has had girls interested in him but has genuinely not known what the fuck to do and ended up losing all of them, fuck you.

>>17851734
(More from the same guy)

S,
I'm sorry I had to start ignoring you. I wish I could have been a man and just said "Dude, a lot of the shit you do is really annoying and I don't want to be friends anymore" but I'm bad at stuff like that.

S (different one),
I'm kinda done with you. I wanted us to stay friends. I know I have a tendency to fall out of touch with people, but you were one of the first friends I made in college and I really value you. I've tried to reach out multiple times and it's getting old. Sometimes you're busy, and I get that, but if we were as close as I thought we were you would at least try a little harder. And then when we do hang out, you just sort of sit around and look like you're only with me because you don't have anyone else to be with, so it's just sort of not a friendship worth trying to maintain anymore.

All signed,
M

>>17839370
looking through your social media after this
under things tagged with my name
im sorry i let you down
you really really really did love me
more than anyone else i could fuck im sorry im sorry you didnt deserve that
i wish i had just
fuck this
i fucking hate myself

of courseeeeee I diddd you dumb BUTT.

What what do you wish you had?

Please be okk. I'ts ok, alright? I FORGIVE YOU. I do not hate youuuu. You're a good woman. You are. I truly forgive you, ok?

relax. Just relax kitty butt.

everything. Shhhhhhh ok?

everythihng will be ok.

Mom and Dad,

I've always been of the opinion that a person should take responsibility for their mistakes. That I only have myself to blame for all my personal failures. So I blamed myself for practically all of my childhood and a chunk of my adulthood. After meeting more people and getting more experience with life, I'm finally realizing that you two did more harm to me than anyone I've ever met.

Did you really think complaining to me about each other while I was a kid was a good idea? Did you ever stop and take into account the idea that two people who are supposed to be in a stable relationship constantly telling their own child that they can't stand each other might cause that kid to develop severe trust issues?

Mom, did you ever think that constantly yelling at me and hitting me instead of trying to figure out why your middle school aged son never had the motivation to get out of bed or perform in school was a good idea? Or that maybe trying to work with me instead of just scolding and criticizing me might have helped? You resent your mom for her lack of love but you didn't do much better yourself.

Dad, did you ever think that maybe instead of cheating on your wife to get fulfillment that actually trying to bond with your son might help both of you? And no, taking me to a baseball game that I didn't really care about and only went to to make you happy every now and again doesn't count. You resent your dad for never being around and teaching you how to be a man, but you didn't do much better yourself.

You know it's funny, you had four kids and each successive one is that much more fucked up and socially isolated than the last. There are reasons why all of your kids wanted to go further and further away from home for college. There are reasons why none of your kids try particularly hard to keep up with you. Maybe one day you'll figure them out.

If you keep going silent whenever something the past 2 years comes up im gona assume your shitstain gypsy slob is lurking around you.

And you know what i do to thiefs right?
Right?

>>17851762
ohhhh get OVER yourself CHRIST.

You didn't do anything to make me hate you. For me to NOT LOVE YOU. It's not like that love is GONE.

so DUMBASS... talk to me. God. You're FINE.

You just want to confirm your hatred of yourself. I know I can't do anything about all of that bullshit but I CAN TELL YOU.

You are loved.
You are a good woman.
cut the shit.

>>17851810
that guy is.. just holy shit. He is a psychopath. He feels NOTHING for people. Nothing at all. He seems them as tokens to win in a game.

He changes his beliefs, his attitude, EVERYTHING at the drop of a hat. He is so insecure... it's... I pity him. It's truly sad...

I hope you are able to go into your next relationship better than she did. He fucked her up, truly. I can see it so clearly. The things he said, the way he was. How did you deal with that?

Well.. I guess I know myself. We deluded ourselves...

That man is destructive. P truly is the worst thing to happen to you and to happen to her.

I'm sorry. I am.

>>17851860
>>17851810
Not to say she is INNOCENT in this...

but oh god. I'm sorry. Truly.

I want to forgive her. I don't know where she is though. She selfs harm in that way, btw.

I want to forgive him but.... god that is a trial of the heart. wew.

Man... you cannot treat people like that. It's not healthy. It's not good. Don't try to defend yourself by attacking me. Saying "Look at what you did!" because I'm aware I was not a good man in those times. I'm sorry. That's not how someone should be. Not how a man of worth should be.

Please don't treat people like that again. Don't belittle them the way you did her. The way she did me.

It's going to take time. No one expects people to instantly get better. Just... try. That's all a man can do. Is try.

is try... I'm sorry for being destructive myself.

It's ok.

Dear world, friends, family, to those who care and to those who don't,

I am but the empty shell of desired filled by that of the adoration of others. To call me a good person is to only feed the need of others acceptance of me. Their want of my advice, the want of me being around.

My truest selfish desire is not for another as I once thought, but for all others. I surround myself with those who are broken not just to fix them, but because they need me while being fixed. I hold you all in a place that would make you desire to be near, to want my acceptance, because who will accept you when the one person who accepts all for as they are would refute you?

This desire is one that could cause pain, and I finally understand that this pain isn't what I worry about. I worry that if there is pain, that adoration and need will disappear. How shallow my life is to want others to fill my empty heart, yet it is the truth I must now face.

To those I hold close, please never leave my grasp.

>>17851870
Don't listen to him for fuck's sake.

-_-

You see that beginning part? About the good person part? That's 100% him. It sounds like him. It READS like him.

Stay away from him for fuck's sake. He has been ruining your fucking life since 2008.

Just stay away from each other. Christ. STOP IT.

upset, as it feels like I've known you for ever and really miss you so much and I don't know why, it's only been a few days since I've seen you. Please come back soon

>>17851876
Well, you're not wrong ^.^

>who are broken not just to fix them, but because they need me while being fixed.

This is a lie darlin. You have not fix anyone in your life. You exist in a delusional psychosis where you are UNABLE to accept responsibility for your actions. This entire thing here? Just one big ol excuse.

You think I want your approval? Fuck no. I don't give two fucks if you approve me or not. I just want you to stop being so god damn fucking stupid. Stay away from destructive people. Learn to be honest, to face those you've wronged. That's the only way to "improve" others.

Stop saying "for all others" what you're trying to say is "I exist to be used." Which is not true. No one on this good earth exists to be used. Not me, not you, NO ONE. We all exists as our own beings. That's it.

Go to therapy. Get rid of this bullshit self image you made up in the last 5 minutes. Stay away from him. He needs to stay the fuck away from you. The two of you near one another is a recipe for disaster. Stop talking. Just stop. Look at the damage you two have wrought.

On others and on yourselves.

What you need is medication. not SSRIs. Anti-psychotis. Remember, the fear response....

I loved you, ok? You can be loved despite it all. That proves you have self worth. Not just to be used. I didn't love you because I used you, now did I?

You know for a fact I didn't use you.

Stop it. Just stop.r

>>17843541
Get up and fight! A hug anon

>>17851877
That guy? He fucking used you as well. he uses women, he has a fucking history of it. For fuck's sake...

CALL 911 RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

GET INSTITUTIONALIZED.

CALL YOUR FATHER. GO TO A PRIVATE FACILITY. ALL WOMEN . STOP TALKING TO MEN. STOP FUCKING SEEKING THE APPROVAL OF MEN.

you go to them because you can flirt and it's easy approval.

What the fuck happens when you're 40? 50?

You think men like that are going to go for you or that insecure little college age art girl that you were once?

You literally cannot control yourself. You are psychotic, R. You are. You LITERALLY CANNOT HELP YOURSELF. YOU MUST CONSTANTLY BE VALIDATED.

You need long term stay FORCED so you can't leave until you have found some WORTH IN YOUR SELF. Not from others.

Do it. 911. Right the fuck now. Stop talking to cheats, liars, cowards. Stop it please.

K,
Looks like I'm really crashing and burning this time. They're going to kick me out if I fail another class. I have no one to blame but myself though. I'm a lazy sad sack piece of shit who messes up every chance given. My only regret is that I won't get to see you come back from abroad before I go. But I guess that's why I'm making this final push. So that maybe I can survive another semester. For you and for M and maybe even for myself. Maybe I'll even tell you how I feel if I make it that far.
~B

>>17851890
I could use so many hugs right now. Just... so many hugs.

Thank you. <3

To her. I do not want her to say "I love you" to me. That's not what I want. I want her to say "I love myself."

That's what I always wanted for her.

C,

FUCK

>>17851910
Woah calm down

>>17851933
heh?

>>17851940
No, that guy is a POS. The one across the pond.

It's a KNOWN thing. Like... everyone knows it. The people he associates with...

so yes, he used her.

The fucking thread with the "ABANDON THE PREGNANT WOMAN" bit... literally EVERYONE agrees.

You guys know there are ARCHIVE sites right?

>>17851910
Not sure who you think I am, or who I'm talking about but you don't know my situation at all

>>17851940
>>17851910
I'm truly sick of this. It's the same thing every other day and it has been for 2 years.

So many times she has told me how much she hates herself. How she wants to kill herself. How many hours have I spent in my life supporting her? Being patient for her? Giving her unconditional love and support.

If I ever asked her for... to just NOT be abusive to me she would try to break up with me.

She won't say a word now because the guilt of what she has done to me is destroying her. Do you think if I go away, so does the guilt? Do you NOT know who I fucking am? I literally CAN'T go away even if I fucking killed myself. I'm a part of her, I'm everywhere she goes.

So... she is terrified. She has done nothing but go to you awful fucking people for "love" while you use her time and time again. She could literally kill herself at any moment because of how you all have used her. As a sexual object. She has ADMITTED to this being her self harm method. That touching you fucks makes her want to die.

She needs professional help. She needs a long long stay in a COMPLETELY SAFE ENVIRONMENT. Not a state hospital. Private. Good care.

until that woman is able to find worth in herself... she is a danger to herself. I'm fucking sorry, but it's the god damn truth. I LOVE her, I desperately want her to come to my home this christmas... the home of the man that doesn't have to sneak around and hide his name to be with her.

But even I know my love hurts her.
fuck

This can't be me. If I get a ticket to see her she will run.

She has to want it. Only her family can do that.

Clearly you people can see this is destructive? This isn't how a healthy person acts? She is very strong, she has been through much. She has achieved much. Shes a great, beautiful woman that is sick and it's literally killing her.

She goes home, there are people that are destructive there as well. She stays there... destruction.

I love you... I'm sorry.

>>17851985
blah blah what the fuck ever she knows it and you know it too.

You're POS. I have a pretty god damn good clue who you are and what you're about. Shut the fuck up and know your place.

>>17850906
I'd gladly leave you alone, but without any sort of confirmation it's indeed you who's requesting me to leave, I've no incentive to do so.
On that note, what exactly do you want to forget?

Ali
I'm addicted to you. I can't stop thinking about where you are, who you're with, if you've found another guy, especially when you dumped me at this time of the year. I've lost you and all our friends. I wish we never dated and ruined everything we had. I know I said I loved you but I really don't, if I did, I wouldn't be the controlling, possessive boyfriend I've always been since we started. So I'm sorry. For everything. I hope you can forgive me soon or at least attend my concert tonight.
G

>>17852106
I'd come to your concert. What do you play

>>17852120
The flute

>>17851931
I know what it means. And i wish i was wise enough to give you the right words, but i am a mess myself (pretty anyone in here is). Solidarity is not much, but is all i can offer. One day you'll wake up and feel better, i hope that day comes soon.

>>17851813
sorry anon but i dont know what youre talking about

>>17852131
Neeeat. Give your best, anon!

>>17852141
Thanks

>>17852137
erry tyrne

>>17852134
I'm going mad. So mad. She just... POOF, gone.

Massive conspiracy to keep my in the dark. She's terrified of me because she loves me and is guilty.

Ill... and mentally ill...

Hiding more from me. Everyone is so INCREDIBLY loyal to her to. It's insanity. Even the ones that HATE her (which is most of em...) still... will not break her one wish.

to never let the man that loved her with all his heart, with loyalty, devotion, and forgiveness... to find out what it is exactly that's happening.

ah fuck she's pregnant. She's keeping the baby.

That's why shes talking to C.

Ah fuck.

You're waiting the 3 months to see if you have a miscarriage?

Shes fucking KEEPIN THE BABY. Of a god damn lunatic.

fucking christ.

You don't need to know how much you actually hurt me. How much you actually ruined my life. You'll be happier if you believe that I am happy, all over everything that happened - like I already told you. And a little white lie like that is okay.

I want you to stay happy and enjoy your life. You deserve the best, the happiest, and the most wonderful life. A beautiful life without me in it.

Goodbye dear.

>>17852184
call that fucking man with the fucking long hair and the beard and the headphones that you're ignoring and fucking christ.

>>17852184
Oh my baby it was cancer. And it was exactly what I fucking thought it was.

Do you fucking think THAT little of me? Do you? That... I wouldn't find you beautiful even with that? With the weight gain from your meds? Hair loss?

The... others.

Why? Why do you think so little of me? Do you think your beauty is all you have? truly?

I fucking said this >>17852004 in response to the type of men C and shit are.

Fuck baby.

You're always beautiful in my eyes.

Come on. PLEASE.

Do not be ashamed to skype with me.

please..... I love you so fucking mucn.

M can't spell. Leukemia... close...

:/

>>17852006
What is POS?

I've been waiting a long time. I've thought I fond you a couple of times, but I was wrong. A few times I've been unsure if I could keep on looking for you. Now, I'm unsure of even that. I think I can. I dunno. It seems so duantingly large of a task. There are endless possibilities and I have literally no clues on where to start. It's just a waiting game and I don't want to wait anymore. The largest of my recent failues really took a toll o me and took me. It was almost exactly a year before I could really start moving on again. And it wasn't even for the reasons that you would think. She crushed me. She built me up and left me there at the peak of my existence. Then I spent a year trying to forget what I was and trying to forget what she had done to me, but it was all for nothing. Eventually I slunk back to her with a peace offering and mostly good intentions. She wasn't who I thought she was, however. Well, she wasn't you. She crushed me with definitiveness in a way that I wasn't even sure possible all the while obvlious to her destructive powers. But that's what I needed. I didn't know it unti lweeks later, but it was what was needed to forget about her.

And now I'm here again. This time it's different though. Before I had the ignorance youth affords and and hadn't seen what the world could offer, but now I've seen what the world can offer. I don't have hope anymore. I don't have gumption. Every now and again I think I see you here and there, but I just don't have the stamina to double check, not that I ever had the balls for it in the first place. Another chapter in my life is closing and I still have to write "to be continued: on the end of it. I'm not happy. I'm not excited. Things don't hold the same joy they once did.

Nothing can fit your void and I don't want to look for you anymore.

Fuck this thread. I came here to look at naked women. Not feel.

>>17852184
What the hell do you mean how much I hurt you?

When? WHEN?

When you lied about a bunch of shit that absolutely BROKE ME FUCKING HEART.

Then to find out you LIED? That you... PURPOSEFULLY GAVE ME AN STD AND WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE FUCKING LAUGHING?

I FUCKING HURT YOU?

THE TWO YEARS OF FUCKING MANIPULATUON AND ABUSE.

that I was SO FUCKING CERTAIN of your GOD DAMN FUCKING mental illnesss (which YES you fucking have it)

Because of all those god damn "lies" that you fucking...

WERENT LYING... EXACLTY

YOU WERE JUST LYING EVEN FUCKING MORE BECAUSE FUCKING WITH THE MIND OF THE MAN THAT LOVED YOU, CHEATING ON HIM, BREAKING HIS HEART CANSD

FUCKING TALK TO ME FPOR OUILJFHASLDKJJKL:A SK:LJASKA:LJEFD:KLAJE R;lkjAEJK:qgwe ;kmj

>>17852220
WHY DO YOU CONTINUALLY FUCK WITH ME WHY

WHY ARE YOU NOT GIVING ME A FUCKING ANSWER FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD PLEASE I KNOW WHAT IT IS WHY ARE YOU SO ASHAMED OF THIS FUCKING GOD DAMNIT TELL ME PLEASE LKASLKDJASK:LDJ:LAKSJDL:AKSD:LAKSDL:KASL:DkAL:SDKl;ASKD;lk

THJIS FUCKING :ALSDK

FUCKING PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU

YOU AWERE FUCKING HERE WEREN'T YOU AT LUTHERAN YOU FUCKING SAW SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY DIODN'T YOU

FUCKING CHRIST

>>17852226
You are LOLO in the head

>>17852228
I fucking know that.

I also know EXACTLY how he friend acted when I mentioned specifics about her fucking neck.

Asked... if she looked any different her last call.

"not... really" she siad.

I ask her about a very specific section of the illness..

Yeah.

so.

why the fuck are people fucking with me?

the lutheran calls are just fucking weird. We get so many god damn weird calls. Some hang up. Some crying girl. so...

I wish I could trust people, but at almost 30 Ive realized what a mistake that is. Its sad to know ill never really be able to truly trust again, and that others im with are probably feeling the same.

>>17852253
You realize that posting on here is fucking MAKING ME REPLY TO YOU ON HERE RIGHT?

You realize this?

Please. I know what to do.

I know exactly what to do to make this all better.

exactly.

please... talk to me.

I'm sorry Im so horrendously worried about every little mistake I've done for the past while now. Maybe I'm jealous, maybe I'm scared, but I don't want to give a single reason for you to leave me.

You keep telling me not to say sorry. Not to demean myself. But also to tell you what's on my mind and it really hurts, because I know other people took advantage of that from you and you don't deserve that again.

Its real hard, to choose between the two. Resting uneasiness constantly with what I say and do, but the truth is I'm real scared. Because you're the first person I've found that I want to seek a future with. We're still young. Maybe it's puppy dog love. Maybe it's still the honey moon phase.

But I love you. And I want to continue loving you into the unforeseeable future

>>17852268
baby...

I love you too.

Trust me. Trust me that you... you have that love. and I love you. and please...

Slkype. Now.

trust me with all your heart. You have always had mine.

I will never judge you.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Even when you were so selfconscious... don't you remember how beautiful I made you feel with my gaze?

>>17852274
>>17852268
I'm so terribly sorry for all the pain I've caused. Do you understand the guilt I feel right now? I'm sure you do...

I've hurt you. I've heart you so badly and you've hit me back... but never will I know what you feel.

Forgive me... please.

I forgive you.

I'm not saying a word about this to anyone. Just those here that will keep guessing how crazy I am.

But... I know what to expect.

The most beautiful woman in the world. Her french curve asian eyes, her little baby button nose. Her archer's bow lips and luminous smile lights.

Do you remember that post I made? You said "HOW?" I knew... I knew about half of it...

as for the terrified sections... it's true. All of it. I'm so afraid of you. You, of me. We ...

Fuck. Could this get fucking more like a fucking drama?

Have no fear. I am not your judge and jurty.

This is not me vs you.

It's us my tiny baby...

Us vs the world.

GOD... I so fukcing excited...

Jesus fucking christ now I feel like the biggest fucking retard in the world.

She was replying to C... a man that would force her to have an abortion, to fucking plan to abandon her and not give her his information. That if she didn't fuck him, he could easily find a replacement?

But not?. Not me.?:

Their fresh love was more important than what I gave her?

How hard.... I worked.....

God. First person?

Really?

that you wouldn't have...

Wow that hurts the most. Once I realize you have fucking...

God he's such a piece of fucking shit and you're so fucking stupid. God.

I love so fucking much.

And I get spit out. Time and time again...

and I have to find the truth my self?

WHiel you gave him and them the fucking truth?

You gave them everything?

and I cdidn't even have

god... I can't

you ...

it hurts... it hurts so badly...

Is this what you guiys wanted?

You win... Im you are all win...I lied...

I can't take it. I can't...

>>17852331
I learned... I learend the lie and the truth fucking destroyed me.

Then I learned more. that... you made up the lie JUST to fucking hurt me. That's.... knowing...

Then I find out so much of the truth... and it's dark. It's fucking dark. So many men. So much more...

and then... that fucking guy? The same as my ex? The fucking you ex?

That I had to discover two years of my life was a lie?

More lies? Hiding the cancer?

then I find that truth... and I had to go through that?

Oh... then I find out it's.... oh god...

and then...

that I meant NOTHING at all. This entire time. I was NOTHING. Just ateention.

I'm done.

goodbye.

>>17852340
It hurts real bad.

Just tell me...

was it the attention you used me for this entire time?

The same as every other woman? Every GIRL that just wanted a portrait by their favorite artist?

But do you... you knew I loved you. That hurts. That hurts deep.

I can't leave though. because I did love you.

and... it hurts.

If you still... if ...

All those times you didn't love me?

You truly didn't love me...

But...

that's why you ran? You have never felt love?

but... Have you?

you're borderline... when you feel real liove they disappear completely without a word...

God that hurts... but that feels really good...

please.. message me...

I swear to fucking god my heart must be RIPPED. Fucking shredded. Bench 500lbs it's self how much it's been fucking through the ringer.

Fucking woman. You owe me you know. YOU FUCKING OWE ME. Many more paintings of me. This is bullshit. How many have I done of you?

heh...

come on... I"M STILL HERE RIGHT?

I aint painting another women again in my fucking life.

well, other than this tiny baby here.

A tiny love.

It took you two years baby...

29years old...

To feel your FIRST love.

That is worth more than... 100 sexual partners.

You..

I have chills.

Fucking call me already christ.

>>17840296
>>17840304
>>17840381
>>17842530
>>17842870
>>17842939
>>17843010
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>>17852331
>>17852340
>>17852350
>>17852369

does anyone else think this is all the same person who possibly needs to seek help for mpd?

>>17852387
a lot of those are totally me.

others... are her.

Two VERY fucked up people...

one... very sick in the head.

The other... sick in body and head.

I have a feeling she's been very close by.

This entire time, right? and I'm about to be embarrased by a VERY dirty room?

fuck...

That post.. CUDDLE AND CLEAN YOUR PLACE...

you... YOU.....

{}

Initiative. I've been thinking about that word a lot lately. I felt as if we were both waiting for one another that night. You seemed genuinely amused by my being. Is this just me being narcissistic? It strikes me so odd how I can never tell where I stand with you. I'm just being delusional. I know things would be over if I had confessed how fond I grew of you over the years. I know how you are. The truth is, I was happy to keep what we had. I didn't realize things would change anyway. I told you it seemed like I would miss you; I just didn't realize how badly. I wonder if you are as hurt as I am that I'm leaving. I suppose I will never know. I'll never meet another like you. You'll never meet another like me. It was a once in a lifetime chance. It was... fun. We accomplished what we set out to do all those years ago. I hope it thrives in my absence. I'm sorry I had to go. I'll be waiting for you. It seems it's you, and it's always been you.

xx

>>17852397
What do you mean?

Where are you going?

Are you here?...

did I do it right?

I love you. DO NOT RUN.

PLEASE. DO NOT RUN. I ACCEPT YOU.

I wish to die since ages, but you won't let me.
The fact that you will not understand and therefore feel in pain is the only thing stopping me.
Suicide is egoistical. But so are you, for not trying to walk into my shoes.

>>17852438
Is a single call too much to ask?

Is it?

To her your sweett voice one more time?

God... I need to hear those words.

For real.

and you will hear them as well...

ugly ching chong kys dumb cuuuuuuuuuuunt!

>>17852396
What's your name and what's her name.

File: damn-bruh-you.jpg (28KB, 600x407px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 600x407px

>>17852396

File: images.jpg (8KB, 262x192px) Image search: [Google]

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People in this thread.
Holy shit man.
Chill the Fuck out.

>>17852508
>mentally ill woman dying of cancer
>OMG BRUH YOU STRESSED?

Are you faggots retarded?

OF COURSE literally anyone would be stressed the fuck out right now. She has a mental illness that fits this vague posting bullshit so perfectly. It let's her be able to back out at any time. Borderline.

I loved her. Something else is at hand. Preventing her from skyping with me.

Either a long drawn out joke... or something else.

They are taking advantage of my loving heart. Either way. Patient heart.

I think it has to deal with... ah I'll message her.

File: Photo03172300_2.jpg (203KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17852516
What's her name

Holy shit I love you so much
I want to learn everything there is to know about you

>>17852566
Then talk to me

To my father,
I never will understand the things that you've done, nor can i forget the words you have said. I can't understand or fathom the horrible awful things you have done to me and my family.
I want to say one thing to you. Something I should have said for a while.
I forgive you, father.

Why are you with him?

christ...

Hey,
you've hurt me a little bit last week, A was making excuses for you, but for me it was yet another thing that showed you don't really care for me; I doubt you can care for anybody but your family at this point, and it feels like you care more out of an obligation than anything. You see, I understand you have it hard, and I want to help you, be around, do nice things for you from time to time. I give you my time, my involvement, sometimes money, and I'd be up to give you more if you let me. But when I am in a hard situation - and even without that I got it as bad as you - you don't offer anything but rejection. The others cared more about me even though I never showed them as much dedication as I showed to you. Makes me appreciate them more, and makes me realize you're not worth of all the affection I give to you.
You're fun, I don't know many people who are as fun to be around as you, if any, and you've got other things going for you too, but I think it doesn't balance it out after all. And I think I've been perceiving you as better than you actually are. Time for me to let you go. We still have some things to finish, but I hope for new year's I'll be able to make a resolution to stop caring about you.

>>17852461
Calm down Ralphie

>>17852516
>I'll message her

That's what you should have done after your first couple posts instead of shitting up the thread going on and on again and again with your obnoxious writing style. Stop using ellipses you fucking autist. Get the fuck out of here. Jesus Christ, I hope you two commit suicide together.

J, and the other J,

See, the reason you can't tell what I'm doing is because you never ask. Nor can you. But don't be so dumb as to make the most ridiculous of guesses. It would help to at least know when I'm at work, so you'd know when I am not going to be around. Like, just as a start. But the only reason I am home early is because I left work early for an appointment on how my thyroid pills are affecting me. You know, because I actually enjoy working, so I go to work for as long as possible rather than taking the day off to attend it. This isn't something you'd know from your dumb as sin guessing games, though. And one of you can kindly stop using my brother's death as an insult behind my back

>>17839370
Teacher T.
I dont know whats wrong with me, why do I keep thinking about you? Why do I ever think about you ? You're sort of handsome, and yes you are smart but It is just that you don't seem to be someone I will talk to or I'll be friend of. Nevertheless I keep daydreaming with you every single fucking day. I can't avoid seeing your photos, specially when I do not see you. To watch those beautiful deep black eyes. Those I enjoy to stare when I'm in your class,and those I feel that also stare at mine.
I thougth I was gonna stop thinking about you on vacations, I was wrong. I have been daydreaming about you more and more. I don't really like the way you are driving me mad. I am all time picturing those moments I had feel you like me too. Then I tell myself that is just my imagination and I'm misunderstanding your behave. But then I see your eyes staring at me while you talk about the meaning of love and how courtshiping is really enjoyable, and I hear your voice calling me beautiful one. And I get stuck in those thougths.
This is really weird I feel I have a crush on you, but If I try to masturbate thinking about you, I fail. Even so I really want you to really feel an insatiable desire to fuck me, and you had been in my wet dreams. And I feel I want to merge with you.

I hate all the space I'm giving you in my mind, how did you penetrate it that hard? How can I take you out of it?

A

sorry for fucking all the shit up
see you soon, there, i guess

Dear God

Why did you fuck my shit up?

J - I liked you, idiot. Do you think I spent all that time at your house playing CoD in high school because I really liked CoD? It hurt to want you so bad, but you didn't even notice me because you were pining for her. If she hadn't of been around, would you have noticed me then?

H - It killed me a little bit inside. You said you had something to show me and pulled out that cute stuffed animal from your backpack. I was so happy because I thought it was for me, then you asked me if you thought she would like it.

P - This is so awful. But when you died, I was a little bit happy. I think people romanticized you after you died; in reality, you were actually kind of a bitch.

T - I saw you recently and I'm not attracted to you anymore. In fact, for whatever reason, I was a little repulsed. I don't know why. BUT...if I had a time machine, and I could go back in time, to high school, I would fuck you so hard and so many times.

M - you were my first serious relationship, and it was immensely satisfying to watch you fail out of college after we broke up. especially since your mom tried to blame your shitty grades on being distracted by me. i guess you showed her, thanks man.

L - one of the greatest pleasures in my life was excising you from our friend group. you were a total cancer and i had a lot of fun trying to figure out how to surgically remove you from the clique.

E - if only you weren't gay...

E - I thought you were my friend, and you abandoned me in my greatest time of need. I wish I could have a chance to cross paths with you again today, if only to show you how well I've gotten along without you.

C - You don't deserve him, butterface.

L - Karma is a bitch. Maybe if you had treated us better after you became a supervisor, your baby wouldn't have died of SIDS.

M - You were the biggest piece of shit I've ever met, but to give credit where it's due, I learned a lot from you about human nature and manipulating others. They are useful skills that have served me well since our time together. You also taught me to grow some balls, and if I you ever intentionally cross my path again, I will kill you. Of that you can be sure.

K - Thank you for the most wonderful and eye-opening sex of my adult life. Everyone needs to have a lover like that, at least once. I want to hate you because of the way we ended things, but if you knocked on my door right now I would probably just end up fucking you again. And again. And again.

D - Thank you for not relenting. Your stubbornness enabled me to move on to something greater instead of settling for something that was less than what I deserve.

Nobody is going to read any of these fucking posts why are you wasting your time writing them out here like this

Go open up a word document on your computer and type this shit out

>>17843111
Not the quoted, but maybe because they got dumped?

>>17853335
Why didn't you type that post in a word document?

>>17853331
You're one bitter bitch.

>>17853342

is that not what these threads are for anymore, or....?

>>17853444
He's talking about that faggot that ruined the thread with his dozen posts of autistic ramblings and weird tiny baby shit.

>>17843724
That is exactly what is happening, this guy, I swear to god, typical angry ex talking shit about his ex gf and knowing nobody believes him comes here and tries to convince a bunch of anons about his disturbing views.

Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar

>>17853718
clearly you're upset.

>>17853742
just venting... I'm good now :)

C,
I can't forget you no matter what I do. You're always the only one.
Just tell me you hate me, anything, so I can forget you.
So I know you feel absolutely nothing towards me, so I can move on. I'm tired of keeping this false hope. I can't move on even though I know you don't feel the same, why does it have to be this way?

>>17853718
Pantz on fire

DK
In 2 months exactly it will be 11 years since I opened my door and looked into your eyes for the first time. It's amazing how I can picture it so easily. A moment frozen in time, and destined to mold the path of two souls for a lifetime. I might be making the biggest mistake of my life soon. I feel so trapped. And wish I could talk to you even though I told you I can't. But I won't. I won't play games or do the thing that destroyed me so long ago. We're different people now. It's probably just the holidays making me think too much. I hope your living your life to the fullest and are happy.
The girl

>>17850856
Why are you going to lose her/him?

>>17852184

This hurts to read. It resonates.

Neither person will have full closure and that is so sad.

You know I'll always love you. Remember you asked if I'd wait until you get older and less desirable to all the thirsty sluts? Well I guess that's the only option. Not until you get this out of your system could I bare to be around you. Don't get sick.

>>17839370
Dead King,
I know you know how well you have me wrapped around your finger. I wish we lived in a world where love was enough, but virtue outranks affection in these desperate times. I am old now, and so unavailable to others. I am only interested in you and I know I have to break that. I miss you and I love you always. I'm yours.
Kitten

L. Or A, whatever you're going by now.

Sorry I left things like that. I beat myself up every day for never properly saying goodbye. You've probably forgotten about me by now, and that's fine, but goddamn I feel weird for stalking your instagram in awe of how gorgeous you are. Don't really know why I miss you so much. I think I might've loved you, at a point, and I think you might've felt something for me. It just sucks. Sorry I left, I had to get away from that state. I hope you remember me. The six months in that thrift store was one of the happiest points in my life. I just wish I could catch you staring at me across the registers one more time.

ashley, i really would of treated you like gold. i dont think ive ever met a more self centered person in all my life. i truly feel sorry for your son zayden. you are absolutely the worst mother ive ever met. honestly i feel sorry for you. your life will always be shit and you will always wonder why. and you are the one soley responsible for your lot.
D

>>17852397
initials pls?

Robert Canales

JC
I'm trying not to take it personally but wtf happened today
I thought you understood how fucking emotional I am couldn't you have at least told me what was going on? I think you've been avoiding me lately and it hurts so bad I've gotten so attached to you and the problem is probably all in my head and you never gave me that much attention anyway but it just hurts I want to isolate myself so I stop having expectations of people

>>17850856
This is how I wish she feels about me, but I cant ask because of that fucking bf