>bf is in military, which here means he is almost unreachable

>Home on the weekends

Military ain't what it used to be.

Way I see it.

a) Cheat
b) Get a dildo
c) Suck it up and do something productive by yourself. Join a gym, learn to knit, learn first aid. It will come in handy when you have to change his catheter when his arms and legs get blown off by a land mine

>>17839067
Resolve the issue before they leave

Like not going to bed angry

>>17839076
it's obligatory military. i'm not in the usa...

what kind of advice is this? it's not that i am bored at home and don't know what to do with myself. i got plenty of stuff to do. doesn't change the fact that unresolved issues bother me.

>>17839079
i would! god, how i would love to... but if it arises 15 mins before he HAS to leave, there's no way to resolve it before. sometimes we just don't habe the time.

>>17839101
what kind of unresolved issues?
come on, he's away most of the week, unless he's being an asshole in the few hours you have together, what can go wrong?
it sucks, but anything that's not time-sensitive... can wait, and will have to wait until he's out of the mil. you could write it down, and settle things next time he's back, but that will end up driving him away.

>>17839101
surely other couples have the same issues and bet it is really difficult if children are involved. Try talking to him about conflict resolution not the actual conflict. Are you guys waiting till the last minute to start a fight about something that could have been handled at the start of the weekend?

>>17839067
How the fuck do you manage to get into conflicts in such a short period of time?

Besides, if it's mundane shit, just drop it. If it's something serious, discuss it when he comes home.

>>17839122
yeah, there is a kid involved, so lots of decisions to make and common ground to find.
no, we don't wait till the last minute to "start a fight". we also don't actually fight. but we suddenly realize that we disagree on something important and then bam! he has to leave.
for example, last weekend he got really upset that i let the kid sleep in our bed occasionally when he's away out of the blue and demanded that i stop that. i don't see any legit reason to do so (the kid is 5...) and we had no time to discuss this any further.

but you are right. i will discuss with him that this bothers me and how we should handle this in the future.

thanks anon!

>>17839125
yeah sure. but how do i handle this inbetween? imagine you are about to enter a serious discussion that really gets you going because it is something important to you that you disagree on and then the person just dissapears and you have to continue as if that never happened for 5 days till you can pick it up again and habe a talk?
as in, we have very little contact anyways during the week but usually send atleas one short catch-up text during the day, but mostly just how are you, what are you up to, i miss you, i love you. and sometimes i am just honestly mad at him after he left and don't feel like i can genuinely send that lovey-dovey stuff as if all is well... but acting distant seems very stupid too since it's not his fualt shit didn't get resolved.

>>17839119
see above

>>17839067
you must be seeing some other guy during the week and pass him off as a "friend" but your bf keeps his mouth shut until he's ready to leave to call you on the bullshit.

>>17839145
sure thing anon

>>17839138
>but how do i handle this inbetween?
By simply waiting. Come on, you're not a kid anymore. Just because you want to solve shit sooner, doesn't mean it'll happen. Gotta accept it.

>don't feel like i can genuinely send that lovey-dovey stuff as if all is well... but acting distant
That's not ACTING distant but actually feeling conflicting which is totally legitimate, even if it's not 100% his fault. Feelings are irrational after all.

Besides, you can just skip the lovey-dovey stuff and keep it on some catch-up level you're comfortable with.

>>17839138
Is the kid his?

>>17839153
ofc i can wait to resolve the conflict. dude...
i meant how do i handle me feeling conflicted but not wanting to distance myself from him.
but you kind of answered that in the next section.
the next problem is that if i am conflicted i actually don't feel like texting at all and he on the other hand feels like texting way more, which clashes. so, if i don't respond the same way as always he's panicking and going overboard, which drives me away even further. it's a really annoying pattern for everybody involved.
it usually goes down like this:
>before he leaves, conflict arises
>next day he texts as if all is just fine
>i text back altough i really don't feel like it because i don't want to further upset him
>he continues to text the next day and my responses get more to a catch-up level cause i still really don't want to just act as of nothing ever happened
>he starts to send me walls of text about how much he loves me and i feel really guilty because that's just so not what i need at that moment. i would need him to just let things wait till he's back and we can talk, i am simply not capable of packing away my emptions for the week and then unpack them again on the weekend. maybe that's immature, but that's the truth.
>he gets home exhausted on saturday morning and it will be only in the evening that we get time to actually sot down and talk. till then i had way too much time to overthink and be tense.

>>17839163
no. that's another big conflict potential

>>17839149
No wonder you have problems. I feel bad for the guy now.

>>17839189
ah, the real picture begins to emerge. you have a much larger problem than individual spats. there is something larger causing his insecurity and you nitpicking the hell out of the guy totally exhused

>>17839193
>Is the kid his?
>no. that's another big conflict potential

Just kys, seriously.
He's having to put up with that BS, and you're
whining bout not having YOUR issues dealt
with right away?

File: IMG_1452.jpg (82KB, 533x800px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 533x800px

>>17839258
>>17839223
>>17839286
you guys really have zero readong comprehension, don't you?
how many times do i have to repeat that the issue is not that i have to wait. don't bother. i'm out. you can't help me with this

My advice to you as a girl who has been in similar situations with her touring partner...trust that if he really wanted to resolve the situation he would. And trust that if he has good intentions he will do what he can to take care of the situation, but remember he has to balance the rest of his own life too. Cut him some slack. Picture how good things will look like when he finally does have time and you both resolve it, instead of occupying your mind with the negatives due to impatience.

>>17839293
the child isn't his, you are free all week while he is locked down, he comes home for the weekend and you fight with him right before he leaves then you refuse to even say sweet nothings. Repeat. You have the guy tied in knots and he knows one of these weekends he'll come home and you will have cleaned the place out and moved in with your babys daddy.