Autism in older kids and how to deal with them

what is your parents lifestyle like?

>>17837923
Dad's pretty busy running in-and-out of the country making a living so we don't starve and hopefully pay the mortgage before he died. He can gone for a week or two before coming back home for some time. Mom is also busy working despite making negligible amount of money as kitchen hand. desu I don't even know what does she aspire out of her life.

>>17837935
i meant more daily life. are they healthy? how does the house look like? depts?

>>17837940
they're pretty healthy, except for my dad's diabetes. He's not overweight in any sense because his job is very physically demanding. The house looks fine, we're still renting until they build our new house. depts? like debts? very large. I don't even think he would be able to pay it off in his lifetime, I will surely have to take over the payments when I finish college.

>>17837944
so you think they are mentally healthy? where are the depts coming from? i'm trying to find out if your brothers behaviour could be a sign of (not obvious) neglect or not.

>>17837948
I would think they are mentally healthy. Their marriage was less than smooth sailing, but they'd always sort it out in the end. Debts definitely come from the house and the car. That's a total of around $600,000+ with interest. Neglect? You might be on to something. My sister and him is just one year apart, so they might had spent more time dealing with her than him.

>>17837959
how's your sister doing? what about you? is he sticking out like a sore thumb?
is he he youngest one? was he "unplanned"?

he might either be just spoiled (zero expectations for whatever reason?), somehow neglected (maybe just on am emotional level, which one obviously can't see) or he might be om the spectrum. or a combination of all of the above. anyways, it is not your job to deal with this. but i know you care and as it seems, nobody seems to know how to deal with him. what kind of steps have your parents already taken to change the situation?

>>17837965
See, when my siblings are toddler or so, my dad used to take longer days working so we won't see him for months, that'd left us to our mother who is working up until 7 so we don't really see our parents much. We spend our childhood mostly with our caretaker. That could be the answer you're looking for. Sister is one year younger than him, but she's the exact opposite from him. She's actually brilliant and a high achiever, she can be up til midnights doing school projects. I don't really understand what do you mean by 'sore thumb', but yes, he's definitely bizzare compared to normal human bean.

>>17837976
it might very well be emotional neglect. some kids react to it by shutting down (brother), some by becoming overachievers (sister). you said he went to therapy? why did he stop?

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>>17837993
I don't really know what they said at the therapy, but from the courtesy of my parents, they didn't really find anything worthwhile except being 'cognitively challenged' or whatnot. They might be downplaying this, or it might be all there is, I wouldn't know. On your verdict of neglect, I think you might be right. Shit.

>>17838003
well, parents often interfer with therapy because they can't asmit that rhey might have fucked some shit up. all hope is mot lost tough. firstly, he might have to deal with this as an adult (like a lot of us do). secondly, he has you. how much do you see him? do you have capacity to give him some attention thathe might be craving?
i work with kids that have learning disabilities that often stem from neglect. what helps is genuine, undivided, positive attention and gentle demand of appropriate behaviour. his communication skills might be really bad too. maybe look into aided communication.

>>17838014
I don't know if I'm capable of such thing though. I never were good at social interaction in the first place, let alone trying to reverse-engineer someone's behavior. Money-wise I'm also incapable to get him the help he might need because I'm dealing with student debt. What do? I feel like this is such a feat that I have no power to change anything.

>>17837912
I have autism and I was diagnosed with a "increased neurological vulnerability" the first time I went to a psych. It wasn't until I was 16 and stopped going to school that I was seriously investigated.

I also did that thing where I answered every question with "I don't know" or "It doesn't matter". More out of fear than being stupid, though.

I don't have any constructive advice, though. What happened to me is that I eventually became aware of my problems and started working on fixing it. I don't know how to induce that in someone else.

I met another autist last year who apparently didn't have this revelatory moment. He was 25 and still a huge weaboo who loves pizza and other childish things. Quite disgusting. But at least I now know that there is a level of choice in how functional you end up becoming.

>>17838030
well, it isn't your job after all, i agree. how is your brother? does he suffer or is he reasonably happy despite not having mich going for him? do your parents show him that they are dissappontet or is he "ok the way he is"?

>>17838055
this is correct, up untill the "you have a choice" part. you can't choose how conscious or unconsious you are. if you are unconscious, you aren't aware of that fact so you can't do anything about it. and you probably can't instill this in another person. he will have to get to a point where the suffering is big enough for him to snap out of his unconsciousnes and to start changing things. you can't shield hin from this or help him achieve this. for some people it takes being 14. for others being 23. for others again being 45. and then there are people who remain unconscious all their life.

>>17838055
I had a friend with autism who started working on his problems too and when I met him he was a little odd but you would never have guessed. He said it happened when this one class mate of his had pity on him and started being his close friend. Maybe you can do the same OP

>>17837912
Be aware that any replies you get (including this one) are from unqualified non-experts. But with that warning, a lot of what you describe - the linear thinking, refusal to interact and the rest, does sound a little like someplace on the autism spectrum.

I know it can be really annoying to live with someone like him, but rather than blaming him, turn your attention to getting him diagnosed and helped. Bully your parents if you have to, to get them to look further for medical help.

>>17838055
>He was 25 and still a huge weaboo who loves pizza and other childish things.
>who loves pizza
>liking pizza is childish

welp

>>17837912
You don't sound very intelligent either, no offense. You sound very condescending and blunt and sound like you have an inflated ego, perhaps you believe you are more important than you actually are?

He is your brother, why not just help him get out of his shell. If he truly has autism then you can't do much for him except train him to be more social.

Just from reading how you type, I have a feeling autism runs in your family. I have 3 autistic cousins and they all act differently, but you can tell that they're all autistic. One has a huge ego and no filter. The other masks his unhappiness with very specific interests and looking down on others. The last is violent, incredibly inept socially and throws tantrums.

Your brother is fucking 13, you act like he is 31 and has never got laid, stop being so melodramatic and help him you autistic fuck.

lol OP you are such a piece of shit
First of all half of your post is just subjective complaint about his character.
The fact that he's slow could stem from the fact that he has concentration problems i.e. he thinks about other stuff when you ask him something. Combined with the fact that he has bad social skills it might just be that he really doesnt care about answering you.
He's also in the middle of puberty, which means that his brain is literally getting rewired. Kids are often just stupid in that age.
A person changes so much from 13 to 18+ and just like you and everyone else he will think "wow I was a retard back then".
You sound like an immature 16 year old that mocks his brother
Let him grow up you cunt.

>>17838110
>>17838080
His heart is in the right place imo. He clearly cares about his brother and doesn't just want him to act normal for the family honor or something. The worst thing you can do is accept or even encourage someone's flaws when they can be fixed. OP's bro might be looking at a lifetime of hikkiNEETing in an apartment somewhere if nothing is done.

>>17837912
He isn't retarded, my sister is retarded. You should be really fucking greatful your sibling won't be mentally four and unable to speak more than a handful of words for the rest of her life you stupid piece of shit

>>17838923
Just because your sister is more retarded doesn't mean his brother isn't retarded