How to be a good big brother?

is it because of girls?

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Remember he's 14 and probably going through puberty, hormones, girls, etc.

>>17837117
>17837117
I used to be where your brother was towards computers and games and ect. See if you can get your brother away from the games/comp.

Those things used to be my life when i would get home from school. I did have fun with friends whenever i got invited (usually only invited, too introverted to initiate a hang-out session).

See if you can find ways to get your brother to interact with people and have outting with friends more often. The computer is great, but living on there and gaming to pass time can get unhealthy if done religiously.

In the end, he's gotta make the transition on his own. Find him an out for his angst and ideas. I used to go pretty hard on my parents when i couldn't have games. Feel bad, but it's like someone taking away your favorite toy.

>>17837137
I am seriously considering getting him in my track and field club. Very disciplined but there are also kids around his age. The thing that worried me is that he made some loser friends while he definetly deserves better

>>17837117
> saying a lot of non sense like the computer is worth more than me and he'd rather die etc...

Shit. He is probably falling into escapism. This isn't good, its very similar to what happened to me. If he's becoming more arrogant and short tempered and he wasn't before... Please listen to what I have to say, and come to your own conclusion. It sounds *almost exactly* like me. I'll try to give you some insight and advice.

- He might be getting bullied at school or his social interactions have worsened substantially in his life
- If he's childish, it might indicate he might have missed some important social knowledge that is causing him to suffer. Does he sound more mature when he writes online? Could you check? If you encouraged his childishness, he also might be doing it to get your approval (childishness equals big bro having happy fun times with him)
- If he's lashing at teachers, it might be because they either exacerbate school problems or only care about picking up their paychecks
- If he's lashing at parents, and Dad is pushy, bro is probably not good at handling whatever he's going through and the pushiness exacerbates his short temper. I wished I got less discipline from parents and more cuddles
- Lazy, lacks ambition, childish? You're also probably at least subtly demonstrating to him that you think that hes all these things. My brother always thought that I was a liar and is only realizing now 5 years later that I just refused to tell my mother anything because her freak-outs hurt my mental state more. Don't do that. If your bro is on much better terms with you than parents, then your opinion of him weighs even more heavily.
- Removing the computer and getting such a visceral reaction from him? Don't do it. My parents started tying computer use to my school performance and it was like taking away morphine from a broken victim. It might be the only thing keeping him calm for now.

(Continued...)

>>17837516
My advice?
- Be patient. Try and find out what's happened. People are saying Teen hormones and shit - hormones don't make you hysterical for the computer. I'm pretty sure there was some kind of change in his social standing.
- More discipline might just exacerbate the problem, especially if he's dealing with his own personal crap. Be kinder, less judgemental, offer to make unpleasant things (like doing assignments) into a discussion session. Sit with him, motivate.
- Try to get him to open up more. Ask about school, ask why he seems to be fed up with work. Does he feel unfulfilled? Is he learning useless shit? Did he lose his friends? Figure it out.
- Learn to view him as a brother you will spend time with linger than your parents, not as someone to whoop for making your parents sad. Disciplining him isn't your job. I went through a crippling period of depression where I couldn't chat with anyone but a school counselor. My mom found out I was keeping a secret (thought I was doing meth or something) and my brother told me, "I hate people who hurt my mom". As if she wasn't my mom and I wasn't his family. He didn't mean to hurt me but it was like a hot knife split my body in half. Don't. Do. It.
- Spend time with him as you do, do different sorts of activities. As you're doing them, talk to him about the future. What he wants to do for himself. Maybe school isn't for him, maybe he wants to go to a different country. Chat about his goals and if you see he has talent in something that he kind of wants to do, encourage it.
- Patience, Kindness, Understanding, Communication. Don't give up on him.
I know it sounds somewhat dramatic but please - in the developed world, there's a lot of issues with mental health and there's a lot of serious escapism going on.
Oh yeah, don't go 0-100 (I.e. oh you failed school? That's okay, you'll be the guy cleaning up vomit in McDonald's.)
Hope this helps OP.

>>17837532
Thank you kind stranger, I'll keep that in mind

>>17837117

He's just going through his rebellious phase. Just keep being a good bro and you'll laugh with him 10 years later when he says "wow I used to be such a faggot when I was young"