How do you stop needing affection and validation?

>>17836806
Why do you feel you need it?

>>17836806

By realizing that there can be no external source of affection or validation that is ever sufficent to prove to yourself that you are a worthy person; you must take a leap of faith that you are, and learn to like yourself and validate yourself.

It feels like being naked in a lecture hall full of clothed people and trying your best to be comfortable with it: It seems impossible until you decide to just fake it, and then you slowly forget you're faking it, and sometime later you remember you were supposed to be faking it, but you realize you no longer need to.

>>17836851
Because it feels bad when nobody cares when you're sad.

Having to cry quietly so you don't inconvenience anybody because nobody wants to see that.

>>17836806
simply

dive deep into your pysche and resolved your emotional conflicts and being the loving person you always wanted in your life to yourself

>>17836876
What does any of that mean?

>>17836806
By getting more friends and or a relationship. How do you get those? Talking to people. Find groups who do shit you like or get a job,they'll buddy up to you nicely.

IF you wind up in a relationship though where you constantly need the two of those then you just need to acknowledge your self worth. Even if you leech off your parents,can't drive and don't have any money you still should have some.

>>17836862
Fucking sound advice right here.

>>17836862
Thanks anon, you don't know how much your first sentence hit me. I'm wiping away tears.

>>17836806
Go to a psychiatrist.

if you already are, go more often.

If that's too expensive then you should find a cheaper therapist as well. See your psychiatrist once or twice a month, and the other weeks see the therapist.

Some people should see their therapist twice a week.

How self destructive are you? Do you self harm at all? If yes, call 911 right now. You need help, seriously help. You need continuous care if you are already at that point.

Don't wait any longer. You are only going to get worse if you do. Every day you self harm is doing damage that is incredibly hard to undue. You will end up with a ruined life or suicide.

>>17837165
Do not listen to this person. They are a moron.

Christ. Worse advice I have seen on this board

Doing what this 'tard is saying is exactly how you get insecurities and learn extremely bad habits. You will seek their approval and when you don't get it... well you know exactly how that feels.

File: 1f212622199f6f8cc6b679aa75c02fc1.jpg (32KB, 512x640px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 512x640px

>>17836806
>>17836862
The only way you can fix yourself is if you want it. The only way you will love yourself is to be honest with yourself. If you feel guilt for your actions. If you think you're a bad person because you feel guilt over things you've done... I have some great news for you anon.

You are a good person.

Guilt is the feeling of a good person wanting to come out. Only way to remove that guilt and accept yourself is to be honest with yourself. When you realize that feeling guilt doesn't mean you're bad but means you're good, you will be able to remove that guilt. Because you are honest with yourself and know that you feel this way for a reason, you're good.

A good person makes amends for their actions that cause guilt. A good person does not let SHAME prevent them from being honest to themselves. Shame is the fear of being judged by others. To be rejected. Realize that only a bad person wouldn't forgive someone trying. A bad person is the kind of person that judges others for doing what we all do. Make mistakes.

A good person will apologize and will take actions to make things better. That is the kind of person you are, after all. You're honest. That guilt mean's you're good. A good person does not allow themselves to be controlled by shame because If you're good, you are forgiving. Someone that does not forgive you for trying to make an amends is not a good person or they are not being honest with themselves.

Knowing all of this... you will not care if someone doesn't accept you. If you're honest with yourself that's all that matters. You won't seek validation because if you are TRUE TO YOUR SELF, someone that doesn't validate you is either dishonest or not a good person.

(This doesn't mean you HAVE to be alone however. You didn't learn how to read on you own, did you? Being open to advice, the help of others is how you learn the tools to improve. You will only improve if YOU want to.)

>>17836806
By becoming an austist like me.