How do I make female friends?

>>17832355
I'd also like to mention that the reason I'm asking for this is because I'm at a point in my life where I know I really want and need some female friends. I know I can make male friends with ease, but I've run into a lot of jealousy problems- either with a male friends girlfriend, or if I start seeing a guy, he thinks I'm fucking all my guy friends.

You look like your life is a mess

>>17832362
Pic related is kind of an indication as to maybe why other girls won't spend time with me, but guys don't mind the mess. I'm not sure.

>>17832364
Well as a girl, I can tell you that you really don't look like the sort of person I want as a friend. That said, I am a bit of a square, maybe other girls would feel otherwise.

>>17832355
hey I've been in your position before, and I want to tell you something from my experience;
being friends with girls is nothing like being friends with guys. This is because women view friendship as competition. Being friends with guys is as close to a real friendship you may get, unless you find another down to earth girl which is difficult.
I became skilled in becoming friends with women to only find out that they were always after my boyfriends, and that they were always talking shit because they were jealous of my NEET ass for some reason.
I know you want to befriend other girls, because being around guys can feel alienating, but imo its not worth it.

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all girls talk about you behind your back im sure considering the situation you describe. You are probably very different from most chicks which is very unsettling to them.
Maybe try approaching the gfs of those guy friends you mentioned, if the guys like you for who you are maybe those girls would too.

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>>17832373
Most of the images I post to facebook, at least, don't have the same NEET factor like pic related does. I try to look fun and cute online, and even then I feel like I am scaring people away.

>>17832394
>You are probably very different from most chicks which is very unsettling to them.

this is true OP, I experienced this as well.
Girls wont like you if you aren't girl normie tier, they can almost smell it on you.
Girls who will accept you probably frequent 4chan aswell, but it's a risk befriending anyone from here.

>>17832400
That pic makes you look nice enough, but I really couldn't say what's wrong without interacting with you in person.

I will say this though: please don't let the other posters ITT scare you away from wanting female friends. Shit people are shit people. I've met awful girls, and I've met awful guys. It's not gendered. Obviously it is your life and if you do choose to listen to them I can't stop you, but I promise you, it's not simply a matter of 'girls hate each other'.

>>17832355
What the fuck, were we separated at birth?

I would friend you so hard, too bad you're probably thousands of miles away from me.

Hint:
>Most of my guy friends have girlfriends.

>>17832355
what country op? maybe I can suggest some local events

>>17832394
I've tried with the girlfriends before, but obvious problems come up- like if they get in a fight or break up. Or they become extremely jealous of me spending time with him, even if she and I are friends. Another thing is that a lot of guys end up dating girls who are pretty different from them, or more traditionally girly than I am- because that's what guys are into, and I can't really click with the girl. So I'm more or less trying to find my own friends instead of leeching off the guys, anyway.

>>17832406
>Shit people are shit people

while this is true, women are culturally competitive. This is why women on 4chan cant find other female friends, because we don't fit into that culture. Find other outcasts is my advice.

>>17832415
I should have mentioned in the post that I don't really want to go there, because of the jealousy factor.

>>17832409
>>17832420
I'm from the US, Cincinnati area.

>>17832431
Do you think other men are competitive deep down too? I don't see it as often or as blatantly with men, but I've always wondered about it

>>17832431
Where in the world do you live where men aren't competitive? Competitiveness is a masculine trait.

>>17832444
qq I'm on the west coast

>>17832447
I wouldn't know, I am not a man.
All I know is that women are culturally competitive against each other and a lot of jealousy comes out from it.

>>17832451
I mean competitive as in a 'normal' female friend will ruin your life at any chance if she has the will to. OP even said that her ex friend stole 2 guys from her, this is a common thing in female friendships.

>>17832355
>and get a message back like "yeah let's hang out sometime!" and it never happens.
Because sometimes basically means never. If you want to hang, you have to show more initiative.

>Or I'll give her my number and she never texts me.
Well, text her.

Making friends, whether female or male is always the same. Be a person with somewhat valuable traits and do your social hobbies, where you meet other people, from then on it's just a question of time. Obviously if your only interests are something like vidya, you're bound to run into more men. What do you do?

Also any person with some self respect would mind the mess. I am a guy, and wouldn't want to be in your room for long, so I bet it'd be even worse for any feminine chick. No need to be a neat-freak or anything but I know crack addicts with a less fucked up place.
That shit tends to reflect shit on the inside, anon.

>>17832431
Only if you're crazy enough to identify with 4chan "culture". There are many perfectly normal females here who aren't spergs IRL.

>>17832458
>I mean competitive as in a 'normal' female friend will ruin your life at any chance if she has the will to
>this is a common thing in female friendships
What are you talking about? This is not a normal friendship, and if you think it is, you've had some fucked up friendships. My female friends are the most supportive, loving people I know, and I pity you if you've never had such an experience and if you believe that this sort of friendship is not possible between women.

>>17832472
I feel like badgering them only makes it worse. Like the "lets hang sometime" is an obvious no, even if it's said after a somewhat lengthy conversation. That sentence tends to ruin my morale, and if I message them further I'm almost always ignored.

>>17832447
not in that way. rather then get upset or feel down or whatever men will feel encouraged that their friend is doing __ positive thing/behavior and will want to join in by trying to add something to it at the very least a "kick ass dude" aka tell me more

when women are around like friends gf if they are cool the other guys will naturally start to joke and have a good time including the chicks only if the guys arent cool/aware does it get into trying to fight for the chick especially if they are a SO of a friend
this only applies for male friends male strangers are diff when it comes to girls but competition in general is still increased for the thrill and joy of competing in a we are now all on point sort of way

>>17832472
As for the mess, I think the pic is akin to most guys rooms, at least here on 4chan, and most of the guys I spend time with. It doesn't bother me to live in it, but I do prefer to hang out in public places.

>>17832488
Yes, I think all people are competitive with eachother to some degree. It doesn't have to be gendered, and competition is fun and helpful, if it's constructive. What I meant though, is more like what you said. Women won't really spend time with a woman who is "lesser," especially in terms of looks, unless the lesser "friend" has something to offer them. Like I've seen a lot of instances where girls only have fat/ugly friends to feel better about themselves, for instance, whereas men seem to hang out with eachother based more on interests than looks. I've never seen a fit guy talk down too much with a fat guy, and vice versa. The fat guy friend will see his fit friend doing well and encourage him, whereas a fat chick might cut down a thin girl for being a "skinny bitch" or saying that she is too concerned with her looks, and the fit girl will say that her fat friend doesn't have self respect. Being a girl, though, maybe it's just my perspective.

>>17832500
You sound incredibly bitter. I'm sorry you've never had a good female friend, but you can't blame that on an entire gender. You're no better than guys here saying that all women are whores because their girlfriend cheated on them. If you're going to treat all women like they're identical instead of treating them as individuals, the only one that ends up hurt is yourself. I really hope you grow out of this mentality one day.

>>17832484
Whether you get their half assed responses, no responses at all or a clear "No" is basically the same end result ... there are no downsides of trying to get a clear answer ... which needs a clear question. "I wanted to X on Y in Z, wanna come?"

A negative response obviously sucks but you still know where you stand, which sounds a lot better than some vague limbo. With some practice, it'll stop affect your morale.

>I think the pic is akin to most guys rooms, at least here on 4chan
Which isn't exactly a mitigating factor, given how most guys on 4chan think women are mysterious creatures no one can understand, sharing anything with people like that won't get you any further.

>It doesn't bother me to live in it
That usually implies bigger problems than the most messy room, do some self reflection on why it doesn't.

>>17832444
michiganfag here
how do you deal with your states awful smell? i notice it within 10 miles of the border and immediately want to turn around

>>17832439
It's all about how you do it. I make it a point to express that my stance is basically
>I respect the fact you two are in a relationship
>She/you should always take priority over me for your/his attention etc
whenever the situation calls for it or there's an appropriate moment. You'll be regarded with suspicion at best and the standard outright jealousy at worst in the beginning no matter what you do. If you just do what I outlined above in the hopes to avoid drama, that will show and it'll only serve to confirm her suspicions. So only do it if you actually do mean it and the intention would be an honest one. That will show too - once she has the chance to see you truly don't pose a threat to their relationship, she'll relax on the jealousy stuff and then it's just a matter of how well you and she get on.

>>17832500
gotchya. yah those interactions definitely exist, usually stupid people. are you sure you arent just stuck dealing with vapids/ people who already have a full "social plate"?

id say keep trying and try to keep yourself fresh so the new people you meet wont see your previous interactions in your expressions/on your face( as if you expect them to be a certain way)

OP, this competitiveness you describe among women is a byproduct of our evolution - needing to be competitive to attract the best genetic material, etc. and it has been perpetuated by society as a whole because it benefits men by keeping you feeling shitty and like you have to compete and fight with each other for the privilege of marrying us and becoming our housewives. but this is a feminist issue, and i don't think anyone on 4chan really wants to discuss this.

regardless, there are women who are aware of this and are happy to put it aside and not be catty and competitive with each other. these are probably the kind of women you'd want to be friends with. self aware, and wanting to prioritise a good friendship over "being better" than one another.

men can be competitive too of course, but there is more of a "wolf pack" kind of mind set to it. they very often are highly defensive and protective of their bros. personally, i simply avoid anyone that exhibits any of the mentioned shitty behaviour. it's not worth my time. i make it clear to people that i want to befriend that i am real, genuine, and honest. if i want to be your friend, i already think you're a really cool person, and i would do almost anything for you. male or female.

anyway, OP you're pretty cute, definitely normie-tier face, nobody could guess you were a 4chan degenerate. i hope you find some nice friends. if someone is too difficult to be friends with though (i.e. they don't seem to put in effort to hang out with you or whatever), honestly i don't think it's worth anyone's time. your actual friends should want to hang out with you just as much as you want to hang out with them.

>>17832355

Same problem. I like people being genuine, and somehow women are either often conniving or superficial, whiney, or indeed after my boyfriend. They're often put off by my directness or laid-back attitude when it comes to texting, calling or spending "girl-time". Oddly enough, as a female i'm often more aware of my gender with female acquaintences than I am with my male friends. I feel a certain attitude is expected of me, while I feel I can be myself with my male friends a lot better (which are mostly mutual friends of me and my bf).

That being said I understand the feeling of wanting female friends. Sometimes I just want to talk guys and shampoo and make-up and kittens. The female friends (emphasis on friends, not acquaintences) are mostly oddballs, and often have some masculine traits. They are out of the ordinary in their jobs and hobbies and are very open minded.

(1/2)

>>17832519
Lol a lot of places further south smell like a fart.

Your pic with the ducks is really cute!

The situation you describe baffles me, since I'm a weird girl (I don't have masculine interests, I just dress in an odd way and speak in an odd way) and I find it really easy to make girl friends and girls often come up to me and befriend me without me even doing anything . . . of course I like hanging out with guys too, but everything is more complicated with them.

Probably you just aren't in a lot of situations where you meet other girls. Try taking a dance class or volunteering at an animal shelter; there are always lots of girls there.

It could also be that you're very sexy and they're worried you're gonna steal their man, to be honest.

>>17832355


I have one friend who, strangely enough, is your stereotypical superficial girl on first sight. She can bitch about people she doesn't like to no end. She only goes for men with washboard abs and flaunts her prada bag like it's her baby. Heck, I even had a conversation with her how she felt her night out was going to suck, because she felt she didn't look like the hottest girl in our group. But I guess that's the thing: I like how she's genuine and up-front about it. I can tell her she's acting ridiculous and I won't have it backfire on me, because she knows I mean her no harm with it. This mutual respect, despite our differences, is what makes us work I guess. She knows my friendships are genuine, and it seems to relax her that she knows what she's got in me.

I think that's the problem with most generic girls; they're so competitive with the female sex that they often lack respect and self-reflection. So My tip? Try to look for girls who are intelligent. Not book-smart perse, but with a good bit of life experience. They'll value you more for you and what others would consider quirks, and hopefully they've grown out of their competative and superficial state.

>>17832574

(This was 2/2)

>>17832571
Thank you! This thread alone is helping me with my confidence. I've tried the "female interests" thing- like going places and working places where women are, and I often feel really out of place.

Stop smoking. That shit is gross

>>17832574
Maybe I should go more for an "opposites attract" thing. A big part of posting this was "how do I find girls who are like me?" but maybe I should look more for girls who are down to earth and, like you said, intelligent, rather than focusing on interests alone

>>17832590
I know :(

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>>17832355
>>17832361
>>17832364

Guys tend to have much lower social standards than girls, we also don't really care how you act so long as you're not a dick whereas girls tend to have more social rules and structure they follow

BUT either way the answer is the same- you make friends with girls the same way you do with guys- by meeting them repeatedly in relaxed social situations and sharing experiences with them

I'm the opposite in that most of my friends have always been female, but I have no problem getting along with guys and the few mates I'm closest with are guys.

There is no difference and you're probably just projecting insecurity.

>what am I doing wrong trying to talk to girls and get them to hang out with me?
It sounds like this is your biggest problem- thinking that they should want to hang out with you and making it all about you. Go hang out with them, you're the one trying to make friends.

>>17832607
The problem with "go hang out with them" is that, maybe I'm misunderstanding you, but I don't know how. Girls don't go out of their way to ask me to hang out, and I don't even know that many girls to start with. If I go to a bar or other social place, the girls there don't seem too interested in chatting. I don't know if it's a problem with me, but I feel like I'm stuck always going out of my way to communicate with women and not getting much in return

Hmm, I see.

I guess you feel uncomfortable interacting in a "feminine" way. Girls are just socialized to interact differently from the way guys interact. You have to be really nice to everyone, be soft, give compliments about hair, outfit, nails, ask questions about stuff like that. This isn't shallow, it's a signal that says "I like you and I'm open to talking more to you."

When you're in these social situations where you're surrounded by women, and it feels unusual for you -- instead of being intimidated by it, try enjoying it. See it as something exotic and new, observe the way the other girls interact with each other, try to adapt that to your personality.

And just remember that talking about shoes/fashion/shampoo and stereotypical "girly" stuff doesn't necessarily mean that those are your deep interests -- it's more just a sign that you're open for contact and easy to talk to.

>>17832620
Not OP, but I always hated that about women friendships. The whole thing just feels sooo fucking fake. When they're around each other it's so formal and polite, but as soon as they're separated it's just this huge bitches about any flaw of their person, and this happens for even long time best friends too. Girls are fucking ruthless to each other.

>>17832620
>>17832628
Yeah, I feel uncomfortable doing this because it mostly seems condescending. Like one of my least favorite things is when I see a girl acquaintance and she says "Hey girl! I love your shoes!" I just feel like she is pandering to me, talking to me like I'm a kid. Maybe I need to let go of this mentality.

>>17832355
>>17832400
How do I apply for one (1) qt duck gf?

>>17832599

I think that's a good idea in any relationship! If you go by educational subjects and professional preferences, most of my inner circle chose to do technical stuff and have technical hobbies, while I landed more in the artistic / human studies spectrum. We always have something to talk about! What ties us together are generally our moral values and maybe a hobby or two we have in common (which generally come back to life values like loving adventure, the outdoors, always wanting to learn and experience something new, etc.)

When I think about specific hobbies or things I do, I have few true friends with whom I can do or share these because we don't have them in common or don't practice them the same way (like gaming, fantasy novels, going to the gym, hiking). So I rarely advise people to look for friends in specific hangouts, becauseno matter your preferential sub-culture, I feel people's personalities, attitudes and values are what ultimately can make a good friend, rather than just another nice acquaintance.

If you ask me where I find those people; I try to be in a lot of different social situations, look for a personal click and work from there. Usually it's a feeling you have with a person; if you nurture the relationship by investing time and attention to it it can grow into a fab friendship, to my opinion.

>>17832652
I'd like to apply as well, don't have a single girl friend

>>17832654
Thank you, this is incredibly helpful. I will, of course, keep trying and making myself open

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>>17832355
Listen here little baby. You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that ain't what I'm about. Let me just say, you are perfect the way you are. You hear me sugar? PERFECT. Don't ever change. You deserve anything and everything you want. Stay safe for me, baby girl.

>mfw thinking of you hurting

>>17832697
T-thank you

>>17832691

Want to wish you the best of luck! Never found it and still don't find it easy

>>17832697
>tryharding this hard

The cringle is went out of orbit.

>>17832355
Stop giving a damn about others. By the all time you should get used to it. Those "close to best friend" should be enough. If you want to befriend some girls just out of curiosity of "how it is to have one" then i cannot help you, because i'm fucking bad at befriending females (think i have some mom/trust issues).
Cheers

>>17832739
>being this new

The cringle is went out of shiggy diggy

>>17832615
>but I feel like I'm stuck always going out of my way to communicate with women and not getting much in return
It's not just you, that's how social interaction works.
Deal with it.

Can't tell if you're a troll or not but if you're for real, I have the exact same problem and you sound like someone I'd want to be friends with. But people like you don't seem to exist in real life

>>17833011
Definitely not a troll, I feel like many people have this same problem, I just wanted to show a girls perspective and get some advice

>>17833031
I wish I had useful advice at all...I share common interests with very few girls and I just suck at befriending them. I guess it doesn't help that I'm kind of shy and awkward but god damnit, is it frustrating.

>>17832355
>And not even because they all want to fuck me

hahahaha you native girl why don't you try telling your "guy friends" if they want sex and see how much of a friend they are.

>>17833076
Yeah and that's the fucking annoying thing when all of your friends are guys and none of them are true friends by this definition, and you don't have any girl friends either.

>>17832355
Hey OP I'm in a similar position to the one you are in but I'm in Florida. If you don't mind online friends I'd be down.

My gf doesn't have any female friends too, and her male friends are 90% my friends and friendly to her by proxy

Female friendships suck as a whole, I don't really know why. You very rarelly see girls hanging out with the same group or keeping a particular female friend for a long time throughout life

Like previously mentioned in the thread, women tend to be much more competitive than men. Sure, men are competitive too, but women compete about quality and men about quantity in general, like in nature. Maybe that's why the only friendship that seem harder to gain and keep is female with female, given that they're likely to compete over the same "resource" (men or other), while men might not care about a particular "resource" and be happy with a different one of the same "quality"

>>17832355
just stopping by to say you're pretty cute. those thick legs are also nice.
shame about the smoking though.
ok, bye.

>>17833088
well do you have twitter?

>>17833091
From my experience (I'm a girl), girl friendships are so difficult because these friendships are so much more high maintenance. If you don't call or message a girl for a few days, she'll get mad at you (this even happens with my childhood friend of 10 years but she seems to get over it fairly quickly now, within a few days or weeks). Whereas if you don't message a guy for a few days, weeks, or even months, they won't get mad at you. They'll still treat you like a friend and can accept the fact that people get busy in life, and you can hang out and catch up like normal human beings.

Maybe I just have bad luck with girls though.

>>17833100
No sorry, but I'm active on steam a lot.

>>17833102
I have female friends who I can not talk to for weeks or months, and we're still friends. Maybe you and your friends need to grow up.

>>17833102
OP here. I've had this experience too. The friend who stole 2 of my boyfriends would get furious if I waited a few days to talk to her or hang out with her- even though at the time she was in high school and I was in college, so it was harder to interact with her. I have guy friends who I haven't seen in years, who I know I can just pick back up with whenever I see them.

>>17833102
Yeah I don't think it's just bad luck, because other than my gf I've noticed this difficulty in a lot of girls, save for very few when, like you said, contact is kept daily.

My gf herself is not an easy person to friends as a whole. Not sure if that's just her or a girl thing, but she seems to keep grudges for years and create new ones from the smallest things.

>>17832355
Are you me?

I am in exactly the same situation as you OP. If you're from NY, I'll be your friend.

This is something I also have trouble with, but it doesn't really bother me. I've never really wanted to be friends with other women, but I don't really seek out being friends with guys either. I have a small group of internet friends and a husband, that's good enough for me.

I don't have much to talk about with most other women. I pretty much just play games, work, and study languages. Also really into history. Not hard to see why it's hard for me to want or find female friends.

A lot of women have this problem, and you see a few in this thread. It's not exactly easy to find women friends with similar interests when they're probably at home instead of out and about.

>>17833131
I'm from cincinnati, but it's really nice to see the number of girls here who are in the same situation. Even if it's a shit situation, it's nice to know there's nothing majorly wrong with me

>>17833125
Who knows why it is. I'm not the type to hold grudges, I'm very understanding and laid back but I still have a hard time.

>>17833140
I'm really into history too, dropped out of college, but was majoring in history. I'm an extremely extroverted person, though, and go out just about every other night, and like I said, am pretty much constantly trying to invite other girls out, so I just didn't know if I was doing it wrong, or if there's a kind of "trick" to it.

>>17833102
>If you don't call or message a girl for a few days, she'll get mad at you

that sounds needy as fuck and terrible

>>17832697
This scares me

>>17832355
I understand where you're coming from. The fact is, you can't force these things. Growing up, until now, I can count my female friends in one hand. I met my first female friend in school. Saw her CD stack (yup!), made a light remark, and we became friends. Then the circle got a bit wider from there. Thing is, you can't force these things. And I'm sure you wouldn't want to be around folks that don't share your interests, some beliefs, style, etc. It will get tired fast, either you'll stop hanging out with them or they stop hanging out with you. Take it slow. I'm not the friendly type, but female friends came to my life one way or another. And we're not all alike. Some of them are typical "girls" and we clash sometimes. But at the end of the day, we're still friends. Let fate do its job you'll be alright.

I'd like to fuck you, hopefully that leads to you being pregnant with a baby girl as beautiful as yourself.
You can be best friends with her as she grows up and for the rest of your life.
I understand this'll take time but it's bulletproof and sugarcane, nothing good ever came in life quick and easy.
Lemme know what you think.

Hey OP do you go to school or are you a NEET? Not asking to judge but if you go to school, I think joining more clubs and being social with your classmates can lead to friendships with other females, as well as joining clubs which I really recommend. If you're a NEET you can try going to local parties or clubbing or just going to a bar, although you're a little more limited there because a lot of guys do that to attract girls, and in most occasions girls go there with the intention of getting hit on by guys. If worse came to worse you can try tinder but try specifying in your bio that you only want to meet new friends & not a relationship. Although that might be hard because you're cute. Nonetheless, socialize more and you're bound to find an awesome female friend