Girl I'm talking to, still hangs out with her ex

File: 1409656583216.jpg (25KB, 366x366px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 366x366px

bump

Handled it perfectly desu you might really like her but this is the best time to do this if you let it drag on it will only make you miserable right now you aren't serious yet so its best to end things now if that's what has to happen

>>17831846
perfect OP. Good for you

>>17831846

Very classy, bro.

You handled it perfectly.

I'm gonna take that advice from you lol

>>17831846
>I really like her

Why?
You probably let deserve better, you strike me as confident and secure.

Girls who do this are playing an option. She is keeping the boyfriend around 'in case'
It comes from a place of deep insecurity.
While you notice the good things in her now as positive people do in others over time you'll notice her insecurity and the irrationality it causes in her more and more. You'll eventually just get frustrated with her bullshit. Ask yourself if she's worth the headache.

I think you handled it perfectly, OP. You were firm and you stood up for yourself, but you weren't an asshole about it. Great job.

File: 1459717078824.jpg (27KB, 315x315px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 315x315px

Also...
>And two days ago she told me that I'm not opening up to her, and she is
>later find out she's been talking to her ex behind your back

Girl here. Beating a dead horse, but you handled it perfectly. I've been in this situation, where I still had feelings for my ex, but was dating another guy, and I needed to be told point blank to, basically, get a grip. I've also been on the other side of it- dating a new guy who still had feelings for his ex. It's not a pretty situation. In fact, it can feel downright miserable to be someones "second option." (which, by the way, from her phrasing sounds like she was projecting that to you, to get you off her back.) Also, the liberal vegan/conservative thing almost never works out. Even if she gets over the ex, and you two start officially dating, more problems will arise. If you really like her, then talk to her and try to make it work, but I think it would also be a good idea to talk to other girls and get a feel for what might be better for you personally. Good luck, OP

File: 1477101767005.jpg (31KB, 460x276px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 460x276px

Good job.

>>17831846
you're a hero to everyone on this board.

How old are you op? You seem too mature to be in your 20s

genuinely refreshing to see a thread where the poster is a smart, sensible person who did everything right and has a backbone but isnt a redpiller

People are saying you handled this perfectly but I think a bit of the context is still needed to decide if I find this controlling. Like I see "and he was having personal problems" I think "what was he suicidal? Is he homeless?" But mostly what get me is it sounds like you might have cut her off after she's already figured out what she wants and is trying to talk about it. "Let me stop you right there, S. I think you need to take some time and figure out what you want "
Giving you the benefit of the doubt I think you did the right thing but this sounds like it could be a matter of if you're comfortable still having her ex as a friend.

Well done, but just know she will fuck him eventually.

>>17832777
>>17832555
>>17832550
>>17832541
>>17832536
>>17832498
>>17832327
>>17832314
>>17832281
Thanks guys. I'm 21, and just figured his was the best thing to do.

I've been pretty self aware lately, I don't know why.

>>17832365
You make a lot of sense. And I guess the best bit right now is to focus on myself and see if she comes around on her own.

>>17832565
Having an ex as a friend isn't a problem for me. But the fact that he went to her house, at midnight, that bugs me. And after she told me how she feels like a second choice, she is hanging out with her ex?

I dunno man, I guess I just feel like a chump. Fate will play this out like it needs to. Whatever happens is what is meant to happen.

>>17831846
>What do I do?
nothing. leave it at that. she is clearly not ready/suitable/whatever for a relationship. you have done well, my son. go forth and smite sloots with your righteousness.

>>17831846
Yeah! You tell that ho

A+

Take no shit.

good for you dude

File: 1474554932217.gif (2MB, 423x278px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 423x278px

She wants to see me tonight.

I don't know if I should go.

>>17833027
If you go she will dump you.
If you don't she will dump you anyway.
I recommend you to not go.

>>17833027
Forget she ever existed dude.

>>17833027
shes crazy she might trap you happened to me

File: 1476338402852.jpg (32KB, 640x423px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 640x423px

>>17833044
>>17833053
>>17833056

What she told me was "I really want to see you tonight. But you just lmk when or if you want to see me."

You guys are right. I'm gonna stay put until she comes to a decision for herself.

>>17831846
Ya done good, son. Let her figure herself out. Sad to say, but she doesn't seem mature enough for you.

File: 14991811_1331146676904672_7024378405156361370_n.jpg (110KB, 880x674px)

110KB, 880x674px

If anyone cares, she called me today.

She told me that she was thinking real hard about everything and that she doesn't want to lose me. She is going to stop talking to her ex completely and she wants me to know how important I am to her. She said that she was sorry for being stupid and that sometimes she just needs to be told "Get your shit straight", which I did. She said she doesn't want to do anything that would put me in a position to not be around/with her, so she said she's cutting all ties with the ex.

She wants me to meet her grandfather, which is very special to her, so she said. No other guys has ever, and very few of her friends have.

I'm not sure if I should take this seriously or not.

>>17833815
I care, been following from the start here.


If it sounds like she means what she says, then yeah go for it OP, you got what you want and can date her. If you start to suspect she's back at this shit you need to clamp down hard and enforce that you were serious the last time.

I think you can give it another go as long as she keeps these promises she is making now

>>17833815
>>17833888
ALSO, this is what happens when you behave maturely. People come back to you and you 'win'. Take note of OP's alpha-ness, without being a dick about it

>>17833815
keep updating us homie

File: 1473010540417.jpg (61KB, 498x360px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 498x360px

>>17833888
>>17833889
Checked

I think I am going to continue with it, she seems genuinely interested in me. I don't think she had any malicious intent to being with, she was just confused.

But naturally I keep some distance, until I absolutely know for sure that they are committed.

Speaking of, when I talked to her, I implored her to rally think about me and her being together. That, if there was any doubts, or hesitations, she should get them out of the way now so they don't pop up in 3-4 month time.

I want her to decide for herself that there is going to be nothing in the way of our relationship.

>>17833897
sounds good! Proceed ahead my friend, just don't be afraid to speak your mind if she behaves in a shady way later on.

Best of luck to the both of you in your relationship!

File: 1434872882821.jpg (33KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 500x500px

>>17833901
Thanks m8, I appreciate your inputs with this. I'm new to relationships so it's hard wondering if I make the right choices.

With any luck, this will be me and her in a couple of months.

File: bears-costume-01.jpg (121KB, 700x466px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 700x466px

>>17833904

>>17833897
Different anon here, gonna tell you this from fresh, sad experience.

Look for any signs that she still cares for him. She sounds like a good person like my ex was, my ex was also confused for a bit and I broke it off. I ended up taking her back after she told me how important I am for her.

She ended things between us a few weeks ago after running into him at a friend's party where they talked about how he was doing. It brought up old feelings. I knew this was bound to happen because she would always talk about what he put her through when we drank together, and brought him up on occasions.

You have to be sure she won't have feelings for her ex if they run into each other. Don't get too attached like I did.

File: 1424206497749.png (552KB, 484x464px) Image search: [Google]

552KB, 484x464px

>>17833904
I'm >>17833910

I have every dog picture you posted saved already, even sent her that same one. You remind me of me. Tread carefully man. Good times are ahead, just prepare if they meet again.

>>17832555
What would a redpiller had done?

File: tumblr_n1ht46dL8f1r8yqkro3_540.jpg (113KB, 540x360px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 540x360px

>>17833910
You're right man. But how do I make sure?

I mean, I feel like I've gotten every sign I can possibly get from her at this stage in our relationship. The only thing I can do now is make it official which I plan to.

>>17833915
Puppers are my life. Funny, because she is in love with corgis as much as I am. But solid advice.

File: tumblr_nsqt9qZiao1rugrt1o1_1280.jpg (618KB, 1280x1707px) Image search: [Google]

618KB, 1280x1707px

>>17833917
I saw it coming for a few reasons.

First and foremost, he was her first everything, treated her like shit though.
Alcohol helped, she'd cry about him every time she got sad or when she found out something about him from her friends.
She's a psychology major, would tie back things she learned to him but referred to him vaguely and immediately changed the subject when I asked who she was talking about.
She never talked to him up until a few weeks ago, they became friends again at the party before they broke up.
Honestly you might not know unless she refers to him vaguely or if you get her to drink with you.

Even after what happened I can still say she was a great person. I never had a chance though, her heart always belonged to him.

You love doggos, you're a good man. Wish you the best.

File: 9678967806.gif (3MB, 250x250px)

3MB, 250x250px

>>17833917
>>17833933
>they became friends again at the party before they broke up

before we broke up, I meant.

File: tumblr_n7bk40FsFe1s8mgkyo1_500.jpg (35KB, 460x551px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 460x551px

>>17833933
>>17833937
A somber remembrance. Sorry lad. But thank you for your advice. Good luck to you, it'll work out.

I too found out that my bf is still friends with ex. What should I do? I just find it shady but maybe they really are just friends. He told me that when he is single he does try to sleep with her so she is kind of a back up.

File: 1416081580360.jpg (52KB, 960x955px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 960x955px

>>17833940
I'll be fine, next week it'll barely be a month since she broke it off. Wounds are still fresh.

That being said, you should take your own advice since you have a good head on your shoulders. May we run into each other again on this board. I tend to reply to familiar scenarios with doggos.

>>17831846
>implying she didn't have sex with the ex when he came round

File: 1456561167552.jpg (17KB, 478x478px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 478x478px

>>17833954
Anyone who doesn't have a healthy love for doggos is just weird to me.

We'll know when we see each other

so many cute doggos. perfect stress reliever. thanks for the cute pics, anons. <3

File: Ekdr0Vj.jpg (497KB, 2250x3000px) Image search: [Google]

497KB, 2250x3000px

>>17833967
Dogs fucking suck. They're stupid and shit tier pets.

Cats > dogs.

Well you fucked up.
You gave her hope.
The little slut doesn't deserve that.
Just cut her out of you life.
She obviously doesn't respect you and I don't understand why would you want her around any longer.

>>17834057
t. kissless handholdless virgin

>>17833951

A man and a woman can never be friends - B. Crystal

Talk to him and ask how he would feel if you had a similar backup guy.

>>17833815
OP, she had him over at midnight. Think of this a minute. If you hadn't cut her off he would be over there again tonight at midnight. What you've got is a temporary reprieve but she'll do this shit again, you just won't know about it. It shouldn't take an ultimatum for a girl to ditch her ex if she really wanted you. One month in you would think she'd be trying harder if you were number one.

>>17831846
>he was having personal problems
so now she is telling you his personal problems were not that important and will cut him off? Guess she lied to you about why she cut you off so he could come over and stay the night. You do realize he stayed the night don't you?

File: excusemewtf.jpg (41KB, 711x669px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 711x669px

>>17832502
>>17832365

these. also

>liberal
>vegan

Clear signs of a whore. If you're conservative avoid these kinds of women. Also, it's clear she fucked him when he came over. She's manipulating you. Just dump this bitch op.

>>17834422
>Also, it's clear she fucked him when he came over.
Of course she did. They are still working through their relationship and she is using OP as leverage with her bf.

In situations like this OP is the other guy. She may still resume with her bf.

File: IMG_4255.png (597KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]

597KB, 640x1136px

Shit guys, now you got me thinking.

I'm gonna take some time and consolidate how I feel for this girl. I'm gonna tell her that me and her need to take a break for a while.

That's the reason I told her that now is the time to get it out if she has feelings for him or whatever.

That's a test for me to see if she still does. If its true, then I drop her.

I'm not going to, and shouldn't have to, compete for her with her ex. I'm not some cuck.

>>17835029
I don't think you need any advice from here. Proceed like you planned but with some caution

File: tumblr_msyx4ibtCw1rz1ki7o1_540.jpg (51KB, 540x405px)

51KB, 540x405px

>>17835055
Spasibo, I will trad carefully.

>>17834027
t. Cuck

OP, this is coming from an old man who's seen a lot in life.
I'm sorry to say I need to sound a note of warning: use the utmost caution.

The young lady is manipulating you.
As a wise anon has correctly pointed out, she had been 'talking' with her former BF behind your back, to the point of letting saidf ormer boyfriend in for a midnight chat..

Be very cautious.
I wish you well.

>>17835092
you forgot your >

>>17833910
This, i am also coming from a very similar experience, including she dumped me for him, than dumped him for me.

i was very naive, i should of stopped dating her as soon as she told me she still talked to her ex. It was my first real relationship and while im not over her, its been a learning experience for myself and i know to never let something like this happen again. If there are serious red flags, get the fuck out.

>>17835029
A small break will give her an excuse to sleep with him "we were on break". Unless that doesnt bother you, nd you are planning to sleep with someone during the break, I wouldnt take a break.
I'd say talk openly with her, ask her what happened that night, be preared to ask o see their emails and texts, go from there. With this approach there are 3 possibilities:
(1) She flips out and blames you for not trusting her. Pretty clear indication she has something to hide.
(2) She shows you her messages and you are satisfied with what they are talkkng about.
(3) The girl is so smart that she always deletes any incriminating stuff. You dont find out what they did. Congusion remains.

>>17836450
*confusion remains.

>>17835138
This very much.
I went through something similiar and she told me she stopped talking to him for me, only to find out she lied, she also said how im so important blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

its all blah blah blah man, dont take them for what they say, its not that there doing it on purpose, while they might be its that there emotions are literally all over the place, and bitches dont know what they want man.