How do you stop putting your self-esteem on things you can't

>>17831499
There are men who are like you.

How involved are you in the ace community?

Why are you so repulsed by sex? It seems like you're uncomfortable thinking let alone talking about procreation. Have you seen yourself fully naked, another woman/man? Have you ever masturbated.

OP is someone who pretends to be interested in sex for a few months, then cuts off her man once he's already invested too much into her. So he pretends everything is alright since she guilts him into thinking that dumping her over sex is a terrible, selfish thing and that he must not know what true love means. So after a year, he goes out and starts cheating on her and finally experiences what it's like to have sex with someone who wants it as bad as you do and it's the most amazing thing ever. So he starts to resent his girlfriend and actually start dating other women. But he soon realizes that women over the age of 22 have all completely abandoned the concept of education and careers and they're desperate to just sit at home and pump out children. Then you finally decide to stay with the fucking ice queen and occasionally get a handy at a massage parlor because this is as good as it gets.

>>17831499
I have the same problem OP.
I can only have sex while tipsy/ drunk, otherwise I'm completely disgusted by it and it's a huge problem because I'd like to be a mother someday.
Sadly I have no idea what do to about it.

>>17831503
Where do they gather?

>>17831517
I don't masturbate, though I've tried. I have no problem with nudity if it isn't sexual, there are no men in locker rooms, but I don't like being naked.

>>17831538
I have never done something like that. You're mistaking me for someone else.

>>17831499
>I don't like sex, I don't want sex

lel you sure don't like giving your man sex but you sure love taking his resources don't you?

>>17831499
Have you been through some kind of trauma to make you feel this way, or you're just a very opinionated asexual? I would advise therapy, but it sounds as if you don't exactly WANT to change.

Asexual men that still want relationships do exist, or so I'm told, but it's definitely rare. When you're looking for a very specific type of person, online dating is probably your best bet. If you really want romance in your life, you shouldn't give up on it, but just accept that it's going to be a difficult search.

Your self-worth really shouldn't be defined by your love life, though. Maybe therapy WOULD be a good idea, not to mold yourself into a different person, but just to become more comfortable in your own skin.

>>17831499
I recently heard a radio interview with a guy who also was not interested in sex. I was not disgusted or found it repulsive, it was just like watching a movie that is not really interesting to him. He's prefer to spend his time in other ways. He describes himself as asexual.
>I know sex is required if I ever want a boyfriend
>men consider love and sex one and the same
Certainly not that guy. I'm sure he is not unique in the world, so maybe theres a dating site for people like you, or just set up a tinder or whatever profile and describe your conditions, maybe something good will happen...

>>17831575
https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/

is a good place to start. Asexual does not mean aromantic. And I'm sure there are plenty of sweet guys who don't feel the need to put on airs for something neither of you want to do. You can also ask around the LGBTQ board here on 4chan. Also, tumblr is very receptive of asexuality and likely has a lot of shared blogs on the subject- offering advice and support and whatnot. Just search the tag #asexuality and see where it gets you.

Though I should ask: Do you genuinely believe that you are asexual? Is there pain/trauma involved? Both? neither?

Tell us a bit more about yourself OP.

>>17831578
I'm not an american. I've only heard american men talk about women taking their money.

>>17831585
I tried bringing this up with my psychologist once. He literally waved his hand and said it's probably a physical issue and to go to a gynecologist. Then he changed the subject.

Since I don't want anyone touching, groping or even looking at there in any circumstance, I haven't gone. Mystery for the ages, I guess.

>>17831599
Would I know if there was trauma?

I accidentally saw porn as a toddler and my father had clinical depression and asperger's and while mom had no other problems she still considered starting a family with someone like that. I guess I was loved in theory.

There's this girl at my work. She's very pretty and always has guys talking to her, and she's a good person and friendly to everyone but she likes sex more than any of them as a person.

There was the incident of the Cake Guy.

One day at work she told us she's meeting up with a man from the internet who offered her cake and dick, and she was all giddy and looking forward to this all day, apparently just as enthusiastic about both subjects, though I think it was the latter more.

She wasn't bragging or fishing for attention, she was just genuinely so happy about the prospect of getting laid, like you'd be about getting to go see puppies.

In the end we all got off work and she biked her way to the cake guy, got dick and cake, and lived happily ever after, never seeing him again.

Why can't I be liked, too? Why can't I be happy?

>>17831499
OP, are you asexual?You know that asexual dating is a thing, right? I met one of my exes of AVEN, and we dated for a year without sex. Eventually, the relationship fell apart, but not because of the asexuality. I'm not going to lie, it is a really difficult orientation to have, and it limits who you can date. /lgbt/ does have an acegen board though, which can be a source of comfort.You have to train yourself to be really strong in ways other people will never have to. It's ok to want love and closeness without sex, no matter what society tells you. Wanting to be loved is a human need. Keep fighting for your happiness.

>>17831757
Being ugly sucks.

>>17831895
this desu
even if you learn to be attracted to other ugly people they won't want you

>>17831637
They say people with autism make cold parents. But I don't see any reason why that'd raise you to feel this way about sex.

The reason we both brought up trauma is that it can lead to a person being permanently uncomfortable with sex in a variety of ways. But I don't know if having a cold father and seeing porn at a young age is enough to do it.

Your psychologist kind of sounds like a dick though. But maybe the gynecologist will know something. OR they'll at least be patient enough not to just assume that "oh duh her pussy just doesn't work lmao"

>>17831900
And you'll always wonder if the people that do, either have specific tastes or are lying to you for your own benefit.

As if getting your hopes up won't just crush you later.

>>17831950
Or are just using you for attention, or want something from you.

>>17831862
How common are asexual guys?

>>17831895
I could grow my hair out and accept offers of sex from men. The problem is that sex is torture to me and the price of being loved and adored is too high for me to pay. Nobody wants to fuck a girl who's crying.

>>17831942
I wasn't raised to feel any unusual way about sex. As a matter of fact my parents were much more progressive in raising me and my sister in a sane and modern way. Neither of them ever mentioned a negative word about sex or sexuality, ever. Dad never talked about that stuff at all, and mom a few quips about how women get married because they like men. Nothing weird, at all, ever.

>>17831575

Have you ever had an orgasm?
It could very well be a physical issue.
It's rare but some people have problems feeling anything substantial.
Sex is supposed to be a really good experience. Maybe you just haven't had a good partner and don't know your body well enough

>>17832029
Never. And I've heard I'm going to have to go to a gynecologist about some other issue, having my ovaries looked at.

If there was something wrong, would they find it?

>>17832057
Could be, it can't hurt to try.

>>17832063
Do I have to ask or should it be obvious if there was?

>>17832105
I'm not sure, I think as with all doctors you should tell him how you feel. This is not normal.

>>17831499
>pretty much is the samd
>is male
>gets mistaken for sjw sometimes
>other negative labels and words thrown your way
I know how it feels.