Does Oral Count

Anyone ever been in this position?

>>17829347
No, because I'm not an actual faggot. Fucking give her the business you ass.

>>17829382
this

op you are a closet gay I promise

>>17829382
>>17829386
Nothing gay about choosing not to have sex.

>>17829403
You're a faggot.

>>17829409
Im sure you feel this irrational passion to call anyone who exhibits self control when it comes to sex a faggot, but I disagree.

>>17829272
What´s wrong about being gay?
Why you don´t want to have sex with her? What reasons?

>>17829433
self control? lets not mix labels here, what you are is a virgin, plain and simple


"by choice"
haha sure

>>17829441
The reasons arent really relative to this thread.

>>17829443
Why are people who are promiscuous so butthurt that someone can choose not to have sex. Does it bother you that I have more self control.

>>17829272
As you said yourself, it's the bonding that matters and it won't usually happen with a blowjob. I'd say ethics-wise it's okay. I can't give you a solid argument why oral is okay if anal is not but I understand your way of thinking. From experience I can tell you that neither oral nor anal are good for bonding. It's just for pleasure. Not that far from a handjob, really. You're just using each other's bodies to please yourself. What you should consider is whether or not it'll make her (or you) pursue true sex more. Because you can make sex just that, mutual pleasuring without bonding. Though no hope is lost and working together towards magical bonding sex can be a relationship-strenghtening experience in itself.

>>17829272
>Virgin her buy choice

Nice spelling retard.

>Ill get caught up one day and have sex.

You are literally a retarded faggot.

>>17829403
Yes, there is plenty gay about not having sex

>>17829272
a lot of people feel this way before realizing they are homosexual. They feel that having sex is a tainted act because they dont yet know theyre not really into women. there's nothing wrong with that

>>17829485
This is the most absurd thing Ive read in a while

>>17829470
On the flip side, would you consider a girl who hasnt had sex, but given oral a virgin?

OP, you aren't gay just because you don't have sex. You're not a faggot just because you don't want to have sex, for whatever reasons you have. Everyone in this thread is fucking retarded.

There are people that consider oral to be sex, there are people who don't. Same with anal, like you said. If it doesn't break any ethics you have, and you don't consider it to be sex, then go for it. If you don't care to have it done to you, then just don't do it. Plain and simple.

In the end it boils down to how you really feel about it. You've had enough self control to not have sex this far, so do you really think having oral done to you would jeopardize your self control? If you do, then don't do it. If you think you can handle it, then do it. In the end it all depends on you, we can't tell you what decision to make because we aren't you. For me, it depends on the partner. I have little self control so oral could easily lead to sex, if it was with the right person. Otherwise I wouldn't be giving/receiving oral in the first place.

>>17829272
>>17829272
>Im partly worried that its also a slippery slope and Ill get caught up one day and have sex.
We cannot possibly hope to asses if that's a valid concern unless you explain in detail why you don't want to have sex. If you do that, we can give you reasoning as to whether or not accepting oral can ruin the goals you have, but we cannot do that unless we know what those goals are.

>>17829631
Im not too worried about the slippery slope thing. Its more if its illogical to not count oral as sex.
Like if I were to go around telling people that I was a virgin but then that Ive gotten bjs would that be inconsistent.

>>17829272
You have a girlfriend who wants to give you oral sex and you don't know? Fucking get it while it's offered! Once I got married my girl suddenly no longer sucked cock.
Evidently the girl your with isn't a cum dripping whore. Eat her pussy boy.
I think your young and nervous about her being up and close to your young growing dick. Fuck it! Evidently she likes you and doesn't care!

>>17829716
It wasn't inconsistent for President Bill Clinton. "I never had sexual relations with that woman!" Also, if you use a condom you never really touched her! I've fucked a few ugly girls and wore a condom. I never really touched them though!

>>17829779
Id consider even kissing to be a form of cheating which was the big thing he was trying to deny.

>>17829716
From what you've written so far, it seems like you're only concerned with whether or not society thinks of you as someone who has had sex or not, in which case I'd say just have sex and then keep telling people you're a virgin, cause this shit's retarded. Or maybe you can point out what part of non-virginity exactly you're trying to avoid?

>>17829272
It is sex. It has the wird sex. You xan orgasm from it and it dies bond you to youe partner. If you are abstinent, oral will only make you closer to giving in to intercourse.


I was abstaining until marriage but I gave in and did oral after 3 months being in a relationship. Sex came a year afterwards because it escslates.

>>17830703
Its not if society thinks its sex. I think those people who have anal sex but say they are a virgin are ridiculous. I dont want to be them.
>>17830723
If you got a blowjob would you no longer say you are a virgin?

>>17830739
>Its not if society thinks its sex
Then what? I genuinely don't get what you want from that. What is the purpose of not having sex? I can't look at the purpose and tell you if oral defeats that purpose if you don't tell me what the purpose is. You want to be able to tell people you're a virgin for the moral highground points? Just lie about it then. If that's not it, then what?

>>17829272
You must be 18 to post on this board..

>>17830747
I have my reasons for not having sex. While oral does not defeat the purpose, I cant see the line between that and people who do anal but say they are a virgin.

>>17830757
>oral does not defeat the purpose,
Let her do it. Draw the line at "stuff that defeats the purpose" and you should be able to avoid a slippery slope.

>>17830762
The slope is the least important part.

>>17830764
But if it doesn't defeat the purpose, apparently the other important parts are already accounted for.

>>17830768
I already said that I dont consider it sex in the OP.
You are missing the point.

Only you can make this decision OP, if you told us your reasoning behind not wanting to have sex it would make things a lot easier for us to understand where you're coming from, otherwise we're all just gonna continue saying, Why the fuck not?

>>17830794
I really don't see why other people arguing about semantics (specifically the definition of virgin) has anything to do with what you personally want to achieve. My advice is, ignore definitions cause they don't really mean anything and if it doesn't defeat the purpose, just let her do it

>>17830811
Definitions exist for a reason.

>>17830810
Honestly if you can't understand what Im saying your advice is probably not what Im looking for and telling you would only distract from actual help.

>>17830813
Yes, the reason is "to make it easier to communicate". While naturally they are made consistent for the sake of better understanding, said consistency is often superficial or just what seemed good at the time that the word first started being used. Letting them control your life is retarded.

>>17830829
You just don't get it.

>>17830836
You're right, I don't. And that is because you refuse to tell us your reasons, and just say you have some. It's impossible to give any advice like that. All we know is that you have your own reasons, and that you're worried about this since different people with different reasons and aims tend to be intellectually inconsistent about anal sex. But if you can be consistent in measuring this against your own reasons, what other people fail at really shouldn't matter to you.

Honestly, from what you've written in this thread (specifically, you've written about "going around telling people you're a virgin") it seems like it's about the moral highground points and you're just in denial about that

>>17830853
Its very possible for anyone with thoughts and stances on virginity. For people who dont have any, theres not really anything constructive you could say to me. I guess its like an easy way to filter advice.

>>17830859
I find it ridiculous that you'd base your life choices on the stances on virginity of strangers on the internet rather than on being intellectually honest with yourself. But it's your own life so I don't have a say

>>17830871
You can only go so far by yourself. It really feels like you've never taken an ethics/morals class or really given them much thought. Theres value in how other people categorize things that lets you see things you cant on your own.

>>17830818
You're literally retarded.
How am I supposed to know whether or not you should have oral sex if i don't know why you refuse to have regular sex?

it's fucking anonymous why do you care so much to keep it secret.

Ok let me fucking guess mr fucking give me advice but im not gonna tell you my problem

You think sex is some special sacred bond and you're holding out for the right one.

Okay, well assuming thats the case, do you consider oral sex, sex then? Oh wait you already said no, so then why the fuck not?

You're scared you dont have the self control and it'll be a slippery slope? then don't fucking do it.

You're literally answering your own question and refusing to elaborate anymore idk what the fuck you expect dumbass

>>17830890
Anon as I said, if you dont get it you dont get it.
Taking advice on an ethical topic from someone who can't relate is not helpful.

>>17830893
>>17829272
Oral sex counts as a subclass of sex, yes. But you are still a virgin because you didnt have penetrating sex.
Thats my opinion on this topic.


And im making a guess in the dark and say that your gf is underage and you are afraid to have sex with her because you fear the law. And you would be persecuted for having oral sex with her.

>>17830908
we are both in our 20s but just to be clear, i outercourse a subclass of sex to you.

>>17830911
Ok then my guess was bullshit.

In my opinion oral sex doesnt count as losing your virginity.
Having intercourse does count as losing your virginity, anal is kinda iffy, i would count as yes for boys/no for girls.

>>17830878
>lets you see things you cant on your own.
That much is true, seeing other people's opinions will, in all cases, widen your perspective on things. Saying that there's "value" in it though is like claiming that an opinion is more reasonable because a lot of people hold it - in other words, a fallacy.

>>17830943
So you are saying a girl who dies anal is a virgin?

>>17829460

Self control is drinking a beer and being able to stop

You just don't wanna have sex. That's fine, but don't act like you're better than anyone.

>>17829532
I'd say yes, even though on some primitive manly level I'd feel like she isn't pure. But dumb emotions aside, she still doesn't know what it means to bond during sex, so she can still have her "first time".

>>17832289
>My hips are moving on their own

>>17829460
You're a rube.

Obviously you want to do this or you wouldn't have asked us for permission. Obviously it doesn't fit your core values or you wouldn't have any problem doing it. Fuck her, don't fuck her. Like this guy >>17830703 said, it sounds like you're only concerned about what society will think. So don't tell anyone.

>>17832750
How can a post be this bad

>>17832773
Thank you for your reply!

>>17832784
Anytime ^_^

>>17829272
How about accepting the oral then not telling people you're a virgin, but instead telling them that you avoid certain types of sex for personal reasons, including vaginal and anal? Nobody could possibly blame you for being dishonest, and you get to have the sex that doesn't go against your ethics.

>>17832826
Doesnt address the problem of anal.

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You don't need to have sex. This is an opportunity you should take.

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Do it. It is bonding. It's a gift from a happy partner.

>>17832944
She is about to die.

>>17832948
So is sex

>>17832919
I don't see why? You won't be going around telling people you are a virgin, so you won't be like those people

>>17829272
If sex is important to her, she might leave. Why don't you want to have it, anyway?