Not the person I thought I was

>>17826050
Two and a half years ago. I was still underage then. I thought i'd be a sexy guy with great thicc hair but im a depressed hairy balding eye sight losing fuck whom even own mother hates. My only hope lies in gettin gud at drawing, but i know for sure now that i 'm not gonna make it

I always knew I was a creepy loser.

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Dude just work to better yourself if you don't like the current you, moping about all day won't do anything but hurt you, trust me. If you want to draw do it, even if you aren't the best trying and practicing is the only way to get better man. And if your mother hates you fuck her she sucks you need to like/respect yourself, at least try to. Good luck and merry Christmas chap.

>>17826050
Talk to me, OP. What did you want to be?

>>17826136
I wanted to be powerful and independent enough to be able to take care of myself instead of relying on my parents and the government.

>>17826207
And why do you think it's too late now? How old are you btw

>>17826234
I'm 26. Technically, it is not too late. I know that. I guess my real answer to your question is that I'm disappointed in my own character which lead to my current situation. All the friends I ever had distanced themselves from me one by one. I have problems with intimacy. I'm obsessed with popularity even though I wish I wasn't. I've made a lot of bad decisions and in general, I don't view myself to be a very loving or caring person, which is why people left.

>>17826207
me too man its very hard but not impossible! The thing I'm lacking atm is motivation and organisation, and if I can get that by age 30 I think I'll be ok.

>>17826245

are you me

i feel you 100%

>>178262450
It's never too late to improve. Trust me, you can reinvent yourself by giving yourself discipline.

Have a read of masculinedevelopment.com

It helped me get to where I am

>>17826260
I had discipline, but I overestimated myself. I was really prideful. It rubbed people the wrong way. I felt like I was the greatest. It was all a fantasy. I couldn't deliver in real life. I couldn't transition into adulthood. For some reason, my friends wanting to be in (sexual) relationships bothered me, since I was little this bothered me. I feel like a movie villain who just hates love and freedom.

>>17826284
Dude, it's fine. You can always come back. You can always make new friends. What do you enjoy doing?

>>17826302
Drawing, but it hurts to post my stuff and no one cares. I've somehow got to relearn how to not care if anyone likes my stuff or not, and I have to stop letting visions of other successful artists kick me in the gut. I used to not care so much but then I realized and still believe that the reason they are successful is because somehow, in someway, they are acting more virtuously that I am, and it's this lack of virtue that bothers me so much.

>>17826284
I need to go to sleep now, but please. Don't lose hope - the longer you spend wallowing in self-pity, the less time you will have to live afterwards, when you get over yourself.

Involve in a drawing community or whatever. It's hard, but that will broaden your perspective.

>>17826050
i didnt have any sorth of goal but i figured things where goin to be alright, they wherent and when i turned 21 i realized how bad everything had truly been up to that point and i realized that my entire life lead to one single thing and there wasntn any other possible outcome
and now im 24 i realized i needed a change and i made a lot of commitments and i failed every single one of them and im still struggeling, moving so little and so slow its barely notticeable. I cant forget my past, i cant get over the fact that everything went wrong, i cant stop feeling betrayed by everyone and the tinyest bit of stress sends me on a self destructive spiral completely out of control.
If i where to guess now i would say i have no future, its impossible to see a positive outcome

>>17826050
I realized that I am an asshole and a social nuisance, I try to make up for it not fucking things up anymore.
I also realized that I act like an asshole because I'm overacting, I'm afraid to be seen as weak and submissive because I feel shame and guilt for the smallest misunderstandings in society.

>>17826426
Yeah that's just about it. Someone mentioned self pity but I hate the idea of being pitiful. And right now I'm just hung up on that moment when you realize, either the way you were raised or trauma or whatever....you ended up being a certain way that is just wrong way to be, and you see someone else just like the opposite where they suffered too but there life turned out to be a fairy tale come true. I just wanna punch myself in the face.

>>17826463
its not just self pity, its anger, anciety, insecurity and negativity.
I was hwavily medicated on benzos and anty psychotics until i turned 20 too and that may have taken a part in it.
I tried a lot, i still do but each time things go wrong i die a little, i dont know what else to do, i dont know what i am doing wrong

>>17826481
I've recently learned about myself that even though I would think I didn't know what I was doing wrong, I actually made assumptions over the years about what I was doing wrong, like being stupid, being mean, being weird, etc. So now I'm trying to not say those things to myself...but then it's like the truth is revealed and I realize again and again that I was truly foolish and should be called stupid for a good reason and I can't escape from it. My attempts to be nicer to myself seem to crash as if they are another form of pride.

>>17826481
>> i dont know what else to do, i dont know what i am doing wrong

I can really relate to this. It's hard for me to go to work and see so many people socializing. Not just socializing like talking I mean like they are connected. I've felt so disconected from the people around me my whole life. I dont know how to fix this or make it better. All I can say is know when your tired and beating your self up and give your self a little break.

>>17826539
>>17826539
I was thinking about stuff like that today and maybe this is an answer. I think that maybe the world is okay with people like us always feeling this way. The world is okay with us being hurt and staying hurt. The reason why is because everyone secretly expects it from ourselves and each other. At the end of the day who you are and how you take action is up to you. By action I mean dont call your self stupid or let any other person call you that.

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>>17826583
Maybe...I just don't know how to be inspired by evil in a world seeking to do good. I've always been like a troll and my best memories growing up were pissing people off online, arguing, being a silly retard, drawing whatever I wanted, not caring...but it's like I feel none of that mattered past a certain point. btw still working on my picture. I guess what prompted me to post in the first place was that several months ago I became excited to start working on a webcomic of my chars, but then I realized that a huge part of it was centered around making fun of things that maybe only a sad angry person would mock.