Should I Give Up?

>>17822084
>going into pubs/cafes/restaurant bars
That's not the place to make friends, nor is it really a place for anything with girls except hookups.
You need to do something else, something that relates to your interests or hobbies, to find likeminded people to befriend.

>>17822098
that's what was recommended to me in a previous thread.

those are essentially the only social places to go to.

>>17822084
Try places other than bars to meet people. There are tons of ways to mingle with strangers. Go for events or museums and other places where you can find new people.

You should make friends and meet girls in the places where you do what you enjoy. Common interests are what bring people together, and finding people who like what you like at a bar club scene is like going to a casino because the common interest there is usually drinking and hooking up. Youre best bet is to try and make friends at a place where you do your hobbies like a sports association, sports/hobby clubs, church, talking to poeple in specialty stores that sell your hobby etc.

>>17822084
What are your interests?

>>17822105
I haven't really been to a true bar that's all drinking.

I always went to the ones that were attached to restaurants. Honestly I don't like it that much.

I do like coffee a lot and enjoyed mingling at coffee places, but still no one ever talks with me. Or even looks interested in talking to me.

Unfortunately I live in very small town. there's no museums and there is only "events" a couple of times a year. Usually parades.

>>17822121
Is there a city within travelling distance?

>>17822084

You're on the right track but going out alone would be tough, even for the most confident of people, usually everyone has their group and sticks to it so it's hard to have meaningful conversation with others if you are just by yourself.

I would suggest making friends through work/school/hobbies first and then with those friends start going out together, or when their birthdays roll around it will be much easier to befriend their friends because you have a mutual friend in common.

>>17822112
>>17822119

I don't like anything that most girls like. Like history, comic/nerdy stuff, video games (not as much now), outdoor stuff like fishing and hiking, sports which is why I went to sports bars, reading and coffee.

I don't go to church and have no religion and generally feel its kind of crappy to get into a religion just to meet a girl.

>>17822124
An hour away in another state. So that throws dating out.

>>17822128
>I would suggest making friends through work/school/hobbies first and then with those friends start going out together.

All of my friends are married and can't really go out.

>>17822128

To add on to this, I have anecdotal evidence of how this can work. I made one friend at university, he started dating a girl, that girl had a birthday and I was invited because I'm friends with her boyfriend. At that party many people came and I befriended more people, and 2 girls at that party were interested in me and I'm talking to one of them at the moment.

So there you go.

>>17822133

I think you'll find a lot of girls are into all of those things, maybe in lesser quantities but they are definitely out there. You have a pretty wide range of hobbies and activities you enjoy, you don't have to share all of them with someone but I'm sure most people would be able to relate to at least one or two of the ones you listed.

>>17822141
Yah but there's still the problem of meeting them.

>>17822133

An hour isn't very long at all, unless you have no means of transport. And if your current friends don't go out make new ones through work/school/hobbies, ones that align more with your current lifestyle.

>>17822147

Well it won't happen overnight, you have been going at this nearly a year now, you're on the right track and you have made a lot of improvements already, just keep at it. Try to have fun with life and don't try too hard to make things happen, put the effort in like you have been but don't take it so seriously.

It's cliche but things end up happening when you least expect.

>>17822133
Don't lump 'most girls' together. I'm a girl, and I love History. Favourite subject at school, read non fic books all the time etc. And there are tons of girls who like outdoorsy stuff, and many who like video games and comic books.
>An hour away in another state. So that throws dating out.
An hour is nothing, but then, I live in Australia. Everything is far away from everything else.

OP I would just like to say to you that you have to go deeper, to another level. The good news is that you can't really give up.

But we hit walls like this and we need to re-evaluate. Often our mind is the thing that holds us back the most, but you should stand positively. You have gained so much that really is invaluable to your life, and you will gain much more in the future. Be positive, and look elsewhere.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

>>17822154
Yah but it's hard to keep a long distance relationship going.

The nearest city is an hour away. If you met someone, it's a long drive to spend time with this person every day. which I could probably handle but then theres the whole issue of pulling up stakes and moving if it got serious.

>>17822194
I'm not sure what else can be done honestly.

bars and museums and shit aren't the best avenue

>bonding via overcoming shared adversity together
>bonding via reaching shared achievement together
>bonding via proximity, repetition leading to familiarity, and some (really any) degree of shared interests
first one is crap unless it happens by chance
second one is good whether by design or by chance
third is the standard way of going about it

so best bet is to combine second and third

which means necessarily interactive & participatory activities
>take dancing classes
>join a frisbee golf league
>community volunteering
shit like that

you can go to a bar or museum without talking to a single other person aside from the guy you buy your drinks/admission ticket from and still leave having gotten the full bar/museum experience
that's your litmus test
necessarily participatory
necessarily interactive
regular recurrence

go go go

>>17822260
But a lot of those activities don't exist around here.

I'm really limited by a small town.

>>17822271
even better

start em up yourself

small town, jack shit to do = guaranteed portion of bored people who would be pretty happy to have some fun new leisurely shit to do

>>17822104
>going to pubs and cafes to make friends
>actually taking advice from 4chan
I don't think you understand the purpose of this site and especially this board.

>>17822341
I wouldn't even know how to start something like that. and even if I did, i'm not sure it would get many people interested.

>>17822355
whats in for?

>>17822360
it* not in

>>17822355
kek if this site isn't simultaneously the best and the worst place on the whole internets you just haven't been here long enough

>>17822360
townhall meetings
public parks
flyers in coffee shops, bars, restaurants, wherever
faceberg or twitter if you into social media

also meetup.com could be worth looking around on if you haven't already

>>17822360
What town do you live in? I just want to look through that town and help you find some things you can do that might be close to you. I have an idea that might work to find you places to meet girls if you tell me.

>>17822373
This

Meetup.com is a really good website for finding people interested in doing the same activities you enjoy. Really good suggestion to use facebook groups to find people interested doing what you like to do too.

>>17822381
I have joined meetup. There is nothing going on where I live lol

>>17822378
rather not say

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466KB, 1447x935px

Get other guy friends first and worry about women later. Just talk to people about anything until they connect and reveal their common interest, later keep talking about that interest and maybe other interests things too until you have to leave. Listen well to people, but add to the conversation as much as he is.

Get a gf once you're social enough with other guys I'd say and better at having conversations.

JOIN A CLUB AND JUST B URSELF BRAH!

HIT UP A BOOKSTORE OR SALSA DANCING CLASS!

>>17822467
I do go to bookstores but no single girls are ever there.

plus how do u loiter around without buying something?

>>17822401
Theres no way anybody can track you if all you give is the name of your town. Are you sure? I can help you find something to do. If you don't want to share that's ok though.

Try to see if anything is going on like a town over or something. If you have to drive like 30 minutes it'll be worth it if you can meet some ppl that way.
If you haven't already, google your own town and mix the search with something like "attractions" or "Fun things to do" or something like that. See if your town is close to anywhere else that might have some fun stuff going on.

>>17822479
I meant to say use meetup to check other towns around you

>>17822084
>he fell for the improve yourself meme
the only thing that matters is your personality, which you cannot change