How do I finally let any one in?

>>17822083
Once a guy has a reputation as a 'fuck boy' (to use the common term among women for Chads), most women will only ever see you like that, and thus treat you as nothing more than a hookup. The general consensus is that 'Chads' (not what women call them) are using you, and are not to be trusted with emotions and the like.
How do you view women?
Do you see them as simply something to stick your dick in for a night? If so, a woman can sense that and treat/think of you accordingly and not even bother trying to emotionally invest in you.

>>17822103
Hmm. I wouldn't think I'm consistent enough with my hook ups for me to be seen as a fuckboy by women around me, I'm pretty sure of.

When I'm thinking about it now, I'm realising that my hookups are very rarely within my social 'sphere' but more often mostly people on the fringes that I sort of "happen upon". If I'm being honest with myself I get the sensation that it, in some way, is of importance, that the one I'd end up with for the night, is NOT affiliated or even physically in vicinity of some one I might more intimately be known to.

So i would discard the chance of me being seen as a fuckboy, even though I'd much prefer that!

>>17822103
A good post, right up until
>Do you see them as simply something to stick your dick in for a night? If so, a woman can sense that and treat/think of you accordingly and not even bother trying to emotionally invest in you.

Women (young ones especially) are terrible judges of character and what's good for them, hence the steadily rising number of single mothers.

>>17822083
OP, I'll share my story with you: I was you a year ago.
There's nothing wrong with you, a personality like that is a strong defense mechanism against getting hurt by other people.
I made the mistake of falling in love with the sweetest, most innocent and loving 19 year old girl you could imagine.
Fast forward to present day, through what was nothing short of a flawless relationship with mutual respect and care, and here I am all alone again, except with a touch of extra bitterness and resentment for the female gender.
I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with this person, we were just so unbelievably compatible, but one day she woke up and the honeymoon spark was gone, and that was that.
Too young and dumb to listen to me when I tried to explain that that happens in all relationships.

All it did was waste a year of my life and further validate that voice I've always had in the back lf my mind, that no matter how hard you try, how much you care and give, in the end something over which you have no control over will come along and destroy it.

My hurdle is that I'm carrying legitimately flawless genes that I feel a strong obligation to pass on one day.
As it stands today, you still need a woman to produce kids.
I'm not attracted to women a day older than 22, and this would be completely fine if not for the fact than those younger than that are all retarded and immature.
My last remaining hope is that technology will soon grant us the gift of reproduction without the need for a woman through artificial wombs - until then, I'll continue sailing through life as I see fit.

>>17822163
Depends on the woman.

>>17822163
Seems like you need to find someone else. There are mature women in the u22 age group; you just won't find them at bars and the like.
>>17822162
Fear of getting close to someone. Do you know why you have that? Family past, bad experiences with women like
>>17822163 ?
Until you work that out, you won't be able to overcome it.

>>17822083
>What is up with me?
You're exceedingly wary of intimacy
>What is your take on a guy like me?
Something (a person, an experience) had a profound influence on you such that you were inadvertently "taught" by it to expect devastation from showing anyone too much of who you are.
>What kind of emotion do some one in my predicament trigger in you?
Feelings of caution, feelings of "can relate", and feelings of "want to halp"
>What is required to let another human in to you?
The willingness to buck this instinct you've picked up and allow yourself to learn how to into vulnerability.
>Help me figure myself out /adv/.
Sure. See:
>I simply assume there's some murky things hiding in the back alleys of my mind since I shy away of connecting with any one without my full guard up.
>murky things hiding in the back alleys of my mind
Any ideas as to what they might be or how they could've gotten there?

>>17822163
You sound insufferable so I can see why she left you

>>17822163
Interesting enough, we share the same story almost to a tee. (albeit, admittedly you lost me at the end with artificial baby making.) In my case though, we never ended up together, long term. But the part of "something over which you have no control over destroying future hopes" is relatable.

>>17822190
>Fear of getting close to someone.

Well, yes. That is what i was seeking your advice on! I think it might be related to a skewed perspective on sex from a young age. But that's not enough to explain the complexity of this issue! That's why I was asking for what type of archetypical character people associate with these closed up personality traits.

>>17822222
Nice numbers.

>>17822225
>>17822222
Quints confirm

>>17822220
Thanks for a nice answer.

The thing is; It's not exactly something novel for me to engage in introspection

>Something (a person, an experience) had a profound influence on you such that you were inadvertently "taught" by it to expect devastation from showing anyone too much of who you are.

This intrigues me. I seem to, by all accounts have been taken care of in this regard quite well by my parents. If you by any chance are more well versed with common scenarios where this scene plays out. By all means go ahaead. Maybe there's something not yet discovered there.

>>17822243
Welcome.

You know the
>what would the neighbors think?
mentality? It's a good thing when it's kept to that level. If there's a regular imbalance of that between parents over mundane stuff, it can sometimes stick with the kid and have this sort of effect.

Conflicting messaging surrounding expectations and ability, e.g. receiving (all from the same source) consistent strong criticism & rejection of how a capacity for x gets put to use as well as consistent strong praise for having a capacity for x

Expectations all by themselves if you're convinced you won't meet them despite needing to, especially if you're uncertain as to why exactly that need exists

Giving all you've got to give and putting in 110% only to ultimately be found wanting regardless


All sorts of stuff can have an impact, just depends on who you are and what you've been through

>>17822223
Elaborate on the relevant points you touched on here. That's where I'd look to next.