Anyone else so terrified of approaching the opposite sex (or

>>17821958
Anon, do you know why she called you creepy?
I don't want to give you trite advice like 'just get out there and do it', without knowing the back story. But it sounds like you're in a serious situation; I can assure you that women that are not terrifying do exist (I hope that I am one, but tbqh I spend most of my time holed up in my room reading and avoiding people too, so maybe that's the problem).

>>17821958
dude girls arent worth throwing you family away, I did that and her leaving me was honestly the most amazing thing to happen to my relationships with my dysfunctional broken family. The more you try force a relationship to come the less satisfaction you will get from it and the less likely it will occur, stop trying and 80% of the time it kinda just happens. Focus on yourself, kick the self harm habits and always remember; No one can hate you like you hate you and if they do fuck 'em

I'm gay, and even I have grown to fear the word "creeper."

I can tell you from befriending women for so long, people can be pretty ugly towards whoever gets called creepy. Enough to be pretty fucking traumatic. It's essentially "nigger" for men sometimes. And the worst part is: it's not the girls themselves who take it out on the creeps, but her friends and other men who do some pretty awful shit to the guy.

Don't piss off the wrong people, Anon. They will take it as far as possible.

>>17821976
Also a boozy self harming guy is something you (as a girl) want to get yourself into. Much the way boys say 'don't stick your dick in crazy', girls generally want someone who they can mature with, not someone they have to prop up all the time. Unless they're the type of girl who wants to 'fix' guys, and that's something you really don't want to get into.

>>17821979
exactly so fuck em, work on kicking some habits, might take your whole life but anon feels your a lil like me, so I have a feeling you wont find your peace through girl. The whole world tells us to reach for the stars but some of us just have a hard time being ourselves, there's more important things to worry about so have a drink, fall asleep watching tv and fuck em.

>>17821979
yeah, but avoiding depressed/suicidal people just continually dooms them to that state. or potentially be what finally drives them to suicide. and in a lot of these cases, some kind of social isolation for long periods of time is how they wound up in the spot in the first place. :/

>>17821978
Although, it's not entirely unfounded. The unconscious (or sometimes conscious) fear with 'a creep' is that they'll you know, rape you or hurt you if you turn them down. It does happen and its at the back of most girls minds when dealing with a situation in which they may or may not have to reject a guy who clearly has strong feelings that are not reciprocated.

Not saying OP is like that, or that most guys accused of being 'a creep' are like that, just explaining where its coming from. Its a kind of visceral fear that's not really grounded in logic.

>>17821985
Vicious cycle. Hey, it's not all girls. My bf was very depressed, and I love him from the bottom of my heart.

>>17821972
>1/2
That's what I keep trying to figure out. Had a relationship with her last year. One of the most supportive people I've met; uncommonly empathetic and compassionate. She was someone who I could tell her anything about, and still be treated like a human being (though I never made any mentions of suicidalism). And the person who I not only could be vulnerable around, but wanted to be. And, most important to me, could do the same for.

But she went back to her ex-boyfriend before me because they were together for half a decade, and she was still close to his family (she's disowned from hers). Broke up with him, then started dating her best friend of ten years. And that's when she started to act really weird. More distant, stopped talking to me, replying my texts, etc. I gave up after a while when they officially were in a relationship together; which ended only after a few months.

>>17822008
>2/2

Saw her again in person with him, and she seemed unusually happy to see me; but he wasn't. Then after some talking, he pulled her to the side to talk, and then she started acting uncomfortable around me. Quickly thereafter, she blocked me on Facebook and other forms of contact. So I waited for her after she got off work (which probably was a bad idea on my part), and she told me I was being too persistent. But when asked about how so, she told me she didn't know. And the further we talked about it, the more holes popped up in her story, the amount of contradictions she kept making, etc. And that was that for us.

The thing is, I'm not interested in persuing her right now; especially after. It's just that, even though she gave her reasons, so much of it makes so little sense -- that it honestly keeps me up at night. Like what changed? Did he have something to do with it? Were there any signs before that I just didn't pick up on? Did I say some things before that were bothersome to her, but didn't realise? Was something going on this whole time, but she was too polite to say anything? Is there really something about my behaviour that *is* too persistent? If so, in what way? It's just been a source of unending stress and sadness for me.

>>17822009
Look, that's not your fault. This girl seems like she's probably a bit screwed up ('disowned from her family", that can't happen without something major happening) and very dependant on the previous boyfriend and best friend/current boyfriend for both romantic and family intimacy.

The kind of girl who dates a male best friend, thus toying with his emotions (presuming they're both heterosexual, the question of whether or not to stay platonic would have come up at some point in the decade of friendship) is not one to rely on too heavily. Provided you didn't become too obsessive, i.e. calling every hour or texting all the time, or 'accidentally running into her' all the time, it sounds like it was her, not you.

>>17822009
Also the friend sounds like a big part of the problem. He's probably in love with her himself and jealous, thus warning her off you.

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>>17822025
>('disowned from her family", that can't happen without something major happening)
Cultural barriers.

>not one to rely on too heavily.
She meant a lot to me, obviously.

>Provided you didn't become too obsessive, i.e. calling every hour or texting all the time
We used to text each other all the time until she started dating her friend, and I eventually stopped after getting no replies. There were even points, before, where I expressed worriment that I might be texting too much. But she would say that I wasn't, and in fact worried she was doing the same.

>it sounds like it was her, not you
I just want to know what happened and what changed. It really gets to me. Plus the fact she sees me as a creep has just been hell on me. And the last time we saw and talk was on that note. I don't really care if I see her again, I just don't want to be seen like that from her of all people. Just not her.

>>17822032
All I know is that he had been persuing her for ten years, finally got into a relationship with her, it fell apart in a matter of weeks, and he moved out of state. Now that I remember, she also doesn't have any family, or many friends, in this city. And her roommate (also a guy), when she I were still friends, was extremely abusive.

>>17822036
Look, I get that you were really, really in love with this girl. But being a girl, and having at least some normal female friends, I can tell you now, you will probably never know. Girls can be awfully cruel (honestly why I tend to befriend men more easily, one too many experiences with female bullying). I seriously recommend, if at all possible, not letting it consume you anymore than it has already. You don't sound like you were at all 'creepy', at least by my definition, so don't worry about that.

>>17822041
Textbook jealousy.
It may be hard to hear, but a girl who can lead a man on like that, and not get rid of him, is probably also at fault.

>>17822044
>I can tell you now, you will probably never know.
I've been very well aware of that since day one. It still nags at me, no matter how unlikely that'll change. Not to criticise or counter you, but unfortunately my emotional side and logical side still seem to be at war over this.

>Girls can be awfully cruel (honestly why I tend to befriend men more easily, one too many experiences with female bullying).
Kind of the same with me, except with men. Too many bad experiences with other guys, which is why I prefer women as friends. At least their approach, namely yours ITT, is often the right way to go about these things and other people's grievances. Something that most of /adv/ fail at.

>I seriously recommend, if at all possible, not letting it consume you anymore than it has already.
Ooooooooohhh, trust me. If I could stop it from getting to me, we wouldn't be having this thread. Namely, the one thing I want, is to be looked at more fondly, most positively, by her than she does now. That's really it. But it doesn't look to be an option for us.

>You don't sound like you were at all 'creepy', at least by my definition, so don't worry about that.
Those are still behaviours I want to work on and root out as much as feasibly possible. It's the main reason why I involved myself in a lot of feminist programs and organisations the past five years; to learn, and practise, not being a creep (since most advice men give in you on women tend to be creepy behaviours).

>>17822052
> most advice men give in you on women tend to be creepy behaviours
I agree with you there, nothing a PUA has ever advised would work on me, ever.
Also I wouldn't advise using the term 'feminism' around here.
What are your interests, anon? Could any of them lead to meeting a potential new girl, to get over this one?

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>>17822059
>Also I wouldn't advise using the term 'feminism' around here.
I know. I kind of want to see if that alone will get a few nasty responses.

>What are your interests, anon?
I don't even know these days. Just not enjoying them as much lately.

>Could any of them lead to meeting a potential new girl, to get over this one?
Not too interested in meeting girls, technically. Never been one to chase them. It's just when I meet a girl and end up liking her, I tend to want to pursue her specifically. Leaves little room for success. And my interests usually appear to be too obscure for most people.

>>17822068
Oh, except for those feminist programs I mention. But since those often include people with PTSD from a past sexual assault, they're obviously not places to pick up girls.

>>17822052
oh honey :(

few things can turn a man into a neurotic insecure self-doubting shadow of himself faster or more completely than feminism

pls PLS get some healthy male role models in your life to look up to and mentor you

>>17821972
>pretending you're a girl on 4chan
For what purpose?

>>17822068
Change your strategy then?
Only way to get out of some kind of rut is to change something.

>>17822074
*3rd wave feminism.

>>17821972
>I can assure you that women that are not terrifying do exist
Lies.

Women are soulless monsters.

>>17822068
Listen, contrary to these people, (honestly, why even go to 4chan for advice like this, you know they're just going to say that "women are soulless monsters"), I really don't think you should give up. Just try to meet someone new, even if that means going outside your usual dating habits.

Try social advice books and books about "Earning Friends" These books teach you the rules of how hate , likeness and love are made and you could use them offensively like a fucker tank to get a nice loveble girl ;)

>>17822085
>courtly love
>suffragettes' WWI white feather campaign
>both genders have same contraceptive options for family planning -> feminists push for widespread easy access to birth control -> control of family planning now rests almost exclusively with women
thanks (really seriously thank you I'm sure you were just trying to help and I'm not trying to be snarky nor aggressive here) but no corrections were needed. I said what I meant to say.

>>17822170
>courtly love
I read that as "Courtney Love" at first, was greatly confused and appalled.

>pls PLS get some healthy male role models in your life to look up to and mentor you

Shame there aren't any.