Around two months ago my mom passed away. In the meantime, my

>>17821387

Perhaps you should try talking this with him?

I don't think it's childish. Assuming your still going through the stages of grief then this might be a little soon for you to be able to take this in. Same thing with my parents getting divorced. After they split it was hard to get use to my mom going through new boyfriends.

>>17821391
He just says "I know"

>>17821387

And what is he suppose to tell his dates/lays?

"yeah no, you can sleep here, this is where my wife used to sleep. She's dead now so you have to sleep on the couch, sorry"

You'll get used to it someday. I'm sure he doesn't love your mom any less that she's dead, he has wants and needs too.

>>17821398
So, do I sacrifice my needs and wants?

>>17821422
If you still live with your dad, maybe it's about time to start looking into moving out if his sex life is bothering you that much.

>>17821433
It's not his sex life, it's the fact that I feel my mom's memory is being desecrated.

>>17821443
No, it really sounds like this is about his sex life. His sex partner died and now he's seeing new ones. Your feelings shouldn't really have a big impact on what your father chooses to do with his life, unless you're a minor, but you're not so you can just move on with your own life.

>>17821462
His life, not sex, partner passed away.

>>17821471
Well, I mean, I hope she was both for your sake. But he's probably shopping around for a new one of those too now.

You're a female, yes? It's hard for women to imagine sex and love being separated but thats sop for men. Be aware too that his best friend died and he's probably desperately lonely. Even if it doesn't make all the pain go away, I'm sure another woman helps. Let him cope in his own way.

>>17821387
>Around two months ago my mom passed away.
I am sorry for your loss.

>For the past week, there's been a woman sleeping in the spot my mom slept in. I feel this is very disrespectful to the memory of my mom. Am I being childish?
Maybe. Do you know what passed between them near the end? Different couples handle this sort of thing differently. He could indeed be disrespecting her wishes. Or, for all you know, he could he outright following them. Different people grieve in different ways, and it is entirely possible that your mother anticipated this and released your father to do what he needs to do.

Even if he is disrespecting her wishes, the question remains: what were her wishes? It's sad, but sometimes a dying spouse asks the impossible or unreasonable. Disrespecting "I hope you eventually find someone, but I do hope it's a few months before you start looking" is a very different thing from disrespecting "YOU MUST NEVER EVEN LOOK AT ANOTHER WOMAN EVER AGAIN".

At this point, I'd say the only way you're being childish is that you seem to be passing judgment before you've got all the information. That's a mistake you can correct. It may turn out that your judgment happened to be well-placed anyway, but it might not; that's why information is important.

>>17821395
>He just says "I know"
That could mean so many things. Is he saying that he agrees with you that it's disrespectful? Or is he just acknowledging your perspective without actually agreeing with it?

>>17821477
Okay, but do you think her memory is being desecrated? He's obviously shopping around for a new one, that's the whole point of this thread...

>>17821512
If my mom were to come back, she would kill the bitch. She tried killing the woman earlier in the year that she believes he cheated on her with, and my dad doesn't have the best defense on that story...

As far as his response, I'm not sure. He just says I know.

>>17821387
Everyone mourns at their own speed and in their own way, and you really can't criticize his way any more than he can criticize yours.

What you CAN do, legitimately, is ask him not to impose his way on you. "Dad, I am not judging your decision to have a social life, but I am not quite ready to watch it. As a way of helping me come to my terms with Mom's death, could you and your lady friend stay at her place sometimes, rather than in what I can't help seeing as Mom's bed?"

>>17821778
Best answer here.

>>17821554
I feel like I owe you an apology. Here I was talking about judging without getting all the information, but I was making assumptions about how she died. I'd assumed that they would have had time to discuss these things, but if she'd had it in her to try to kill someone less than a year before, perhaps this was somehing more sudden.

If you don't mind my asking, how did she die? This may matter.

>>17821778

This.

Also, you keep asking whether or not her memory is being disrespected. It seems like you want us to validate you and say, "yes, anon, you're right to be upset. What your dad is doing is wrong."

But here's the thing: there's no objective way to say. You obviously feel like your mom's memory is being disrespected, but there is no list of activities approved for new widowers, nor is there a list of activities forbidden to new widowers. He's free to make his own choices, and it's not mom and dad's bed anymore, kiddo; it's just dad's.

I second the Anon telling you to move out already.

>>17821387
you sound like fag
stop being an entitled little priss and leave your dad alone

For a moment I thought your dad was sleeping around while your mom was dying, Because that's exactly what has happened in my exe's family.

Could have been worse, you see?

>>17821778
this anon wins the award for most sensible advice of the day

shame OP will ignore it though

i feel like 2 months is way too soon myself
>January mom died, so Dad got a new girl in March

Hell i still grieve for my DOG that died 2 years ago

thats just an example, but jesus christ you should still be grieving 2 months in. LET ALONE boning a new girl, your dad probably still has his wifes smell on his clothes.

This must be very difficult for you and I'm sorry you have to go through this.

If I'm honest, I think that the issue here is not your mom because regardless of whether it's right or wrong, it's happening. However, the fact that you're aware that it's happening is not okay. Losing a mother is a very complicated and upsetting thing and then a dad moving forward can be upsetting and confusing and it's completely unfair for you to have to process both situation in such a short time span. I don't think you're being childish at all. I think you're having to process a lot of things which, to be honest, your dad is an insensitive asshole for not being discrete.

>>17821548

There's not enough information about your dad to give a concreate answer. The best thing to do is just talk to him about it, and not a bunch of anons over the internet.

>>17821387
You are absolutely not being childish, and to hell with anyone who says such.

I recall someone who called me childish with I expressed dislike over my father talking to another woman about a year after my mother died. Now, a year may not be too soon for a lot of people but it was something that bothered the hell out of me. It's different for everyone.

I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Well first, I feel sorry for your loss

As for the question, you're not being childish, you just dont know your old man. Maybe he's like ''Oh well, I'm not going to cry like a bitch because she died, but instead I'm going to be happy and live my life, because maybe that's what she always wanted...to make me happy''

Maybe you should ask him, but remember one thing: The slut he dates will never replace your mother, because no one in the world loved you as much as she did

>>17821387

>Am I being childish

Yes, shes dead, it sucks and it hurts, but thats life. Move on

Worrying about her "memory beint desecrated" is no more rational than any other irrational post death coping technique like the concept of an afterlife or what have you

Its ok that it upsets you. But thats on you to process and move past. Not your dad

Two months is way too soon. Some people grieve differently and your dad might be messed up right now, but this is not the way to do it. You should talk to him.

My mom started seeing someone after my dad passed, but it was about 2 years after. The guy she's been seeing lost his wife around the same time actually. They've been together 2 years now and I'm incredibly happy for them. It's great they have someone to spend time with and do things together.

You should be concerned though. Two months is two soon. Also, I'm sorry for your loss.

>>17821778
"Well I'm X years old so I need to get on with my life."

He's also the type to hold that against me in the future. "Well, I stopped bringing that woman by, and this is how you repay me?"

>>17822317
She dropped dead randomly.

>>17823181
What did the coroner put down as the cause of death?