So, my relationship with my boyfriend has been rocky over the

>>17820859
Also, we cancelled our plans for the night so my bf can spend it with his family.

I'm thinking, do I wait a couple of weeks or days or whenever he gets over this? Then do I confront him?

The issue is, even though it's just a "follow" or whatever, I'm honestly just gonna assume he's talking to them again. My bf thinks he's sneaky. I wouldn't doubt for a moment it's back to the same shit again. He disrespects me when he does this. He claims that talking to girls and receiving pics from them isn't cheating whenever I catch him. And I want to leave him. If he claims he is happy with me, then there is no need for a relationship with these girls. Especially after he promised he wouldn't contact them.

shameful self bump

This is so horrible. I am sorry you are going through this OP.

I would wait a day and just calmly ask him about him adding them again.

Something like:

I know you've just lost (dog) and you are having a bad week but the other day, I noticed you added Whore X and Whore Y to instagram. Is there something you are not happy with in the relationship? Are you feeling like you want to be single?

Try this approach OP. It's hard as fuck to remain calm when you want to rip his eyeballs out for being a shady cunt but get him to talk to you so you can understand why he keeps adding and talking to these women.

>>17820917
We've talked about it before and he always says "its an impulsive addiction"

I don't believe it for a moment. I have a feeling he will say it again this time. It seems that he very clearly has some kind of feelings for these girls. He clearly loves receiving attention online from women.

He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I know the answers to those questions already. He wants the benefits of having an irl relationship with cuddles, sex, and someone to care for him AND he wants the attention, the thrill, etc. of girls online constantly texting, flirting, and sending him nudes.

I don't even know if I want to talk to him about it. The arguments get insane, emotionally draining, and he usually somehow blames me for not being perfect.

My self esteem can't take another blow. I don't even want to be there for him for his dog dying. He has no real investment in me. Why should I be investing emotions in him?

>>17820925
Well you shouldn't be investing if he isn't investing anything in you.

If you are strong enough, leave.

I was/am not strong enough and just stayed and now I want to kill myself because I am so unhappy yet so attached.

>>17820927
I just don't get it. I like my boyfriend for who he is in person. He always is flexing online. He had all these girls on his facebook before. And he'd never acknowledge me online (aside from putting that we are in a relationship). Whenever they commented on his posts, he always responded and acted charming. Always avoided having conversations with me on public social media.

It's like, he has someone who loves and cares for him in real life. And he takes it completely for granted all for cheap thrills from slutty girls across the world.

Both of those have boyfriends. He was even talking to the girl from europe when she was in a relationship AND pregnant.

He's not addicted to social media. He's addicted to the cheap, disgusting thrill of sluttly girls cheating on their boyfriends by sending him nudes. Guessing it gives him some kind of gratification.

>>17820935
I guess it does give them that weird gratification.

I will never understand why my boyfriend does it either. They probably need professional help, but so do we, from the damage they caused.

>>17820935
Dump him. It's pointless to stay if this behaviour is unacceptable to you, since you've already given him chances to correct this and he can't seem to be able to. You'll find someone who respects you, and you'll wonder why you ever put up with this shit in the first place

>>17820964
I just don't know when to. He argued with his family about the dog and now he wants to spend the night here tonight.

I'm writhing.

>>17820859
he sounds like hes trying to piss you off if hes not discrete about the following on instagram. also if hes flirting with girls online he does not love you.

op. you know what to do. he does not feeling nothing for you and i know it's hard but you should just dump him even though he says he loves you and stuff like that sadly is not like that.

>>17821007
He legit does not know how most security and privacy things work on most social media websites.

These girls were in the "people you may know" section of my Instagram. I clicked their profiles and it showed my bf followed them. I went to the follower feed section and it showed "(boyfriend) started following whore 1 and whore 2 1day ago"

At this point, I'm assuming he does not know I know. And because it showed up on Instagram like that, I'm confident that he looked both of them up in the same night. Because it seems too bizarre of a coincedence that both the women he has previously cheated with me on online to follow him on the same night.

>>17820859
You should confront him about it. You've already caught him twice. He's playing you. He doesnt really seem to be worth your time.

>>17821032
I agree. The issue is that with the death of his dog, if I argue about it now, knowing how narcissistic my bf is, he will make me look like the bad guy.

When I caught him cheating with the girl from Europe, his uncle had just passed away. He attempted to use it to escape confrontation and make me look bad while he mourned.

I'm gonna wait about a week to be honest. As I said, the arguments that happen after these things are too emotionally draining. I want the upper hand. I want to stick it to him when he can't manipulate me or make me seem like the bad guy. Even if that sounds stupid and pointless. I just don't want to be sucked back in by his crocodile tears.

>>17821042
OP, remember that no matter how right you are, people like this may never acknowledge that you are right. You can be as careful as you can, but he'll be stubborn until the end. Just cut and go, and don't look back.

>>17821062
I know you're right. The issue is that I'm a weak person. I know I am and my boyfriend knows I am. I'm so tempted to just ghost him and let him figure it out. Because I am weak and can't confront him without crawling back or allowing him to convince me it's my fault.

When he takes control of the argument, I end up apologizing in the end. I have literally apologized for my boyfriend cucking me. I just need to find a way to take control over this. So that it can finally end.

>>17820859
Who is this a picture of?

Everybody jumping to conclusions. You didnt stop and think you might be getting a little jealous and posessive here? So he added some bimbos on instagram. Doesnt mean you gotta play it up and read all kinds of 5d chess into it. Shit YOURE the girlfriend, not the side bitch. Thats means youve got more of whatever it is that hooks him in than they do. So if youre worried flex that that power and just straight tell him Hey I noticed you added bitch x and bitch y when I was on instagram that shit isnt gonna fly. Then send him some good titty pics and vids for good measure. If hes looked elsewhere for that it means you arent doing enough in that department clearly. Dont get caught in this trap youve made for yourself in overthinking shit. Sounds to me like your just trying to cone up with an excuse to leave him and coming to start an echo chamber thread on adv of all places.

>>17821075
What if you had a friend there for emotional support? I know that sounds weird but you need to believe in yourself and you could use some encouragement. I dunno if that would really work though - I've never been in your position so I can't offer very good advice other than "you just gotta do it, OP", which isn't great advice to begin with.

Just keep thinking that being with someone who makes you unhappy is worse than being single and alone. I don't know if that's one of the things that scares you about leaving him, but it's something to think about.

You deserve better, and I know you know that as well. Leave his ass.

>>17821118
Not OP, but I feel like you didn't read the thread..

She said she confronted him many times but he continues to do it and says manipulative things for making her feel the way she does. She's given him plenty of chances and tried but the only one not changing in this situation is him. I mean even if she's the one to blame, he didn't voice it to her either.

Whatever's going on, it's clear that these two can't be together happily regardless of who's right or wrong and that's the main issue.

>>17821121
I think youre wrong and everyone saying she should leave him or otherwise overeact is being a pessimist or an idealist. Adding people on instagram isnt exactly one of the seven deadly sins last time I checked. Also past issues should be left in the past. Remember we are only getting OPs side of the story here so of course the only info you have is gonna make the guy look bad because OP is getting emotional af over it.

>>17821170
Yea but this is the girl I told him to cut contact with this summer. 4 months later and he clearly hasn't cut contact. After I caught him flirting with her late nights and calling her talking until the crack of dawn each night.

But I guess the past is the past. Bullshit. She is shady and so is he. I saw their texts. It was not friendly. They can't all of a sudden be "just friends" in 4 months. I don't even know now, if he truthfully cut anything off with her

>>17821109
>Who is this a picture of?
OP, if you don't mind.

>>17821194
I have no idea. Found it on here months ago

>>17821193
Like I said, you sound like youve already made up your mind to find a reason to be mad and just want us to confirm it for you so you can feel justified because /adv/non said it not you. If you come on here and all youre gonna repeat is "he did all this outrageous stuff! I cant even trust him!!!" Obviously youre gonna get 10 replies saying drop him, what did you expect. Also if this is what you see then why cant it be you flirting with him and talking until the crack of dawn?

>>17821221
We talk all day every day. He comes to my apartment every night until I fall asleep then he goes home and talks to her until 4-5 in the morning.

We have an amazing sex life. We keep it passionate. I send him pics, I'm flirty, I play into his fantasies. I cook for him every night. Bring him lunch at work. Buy him meaningful gifts. Paint him things. Put my heart into everything I do for him.

It's not enough. Why is it not me talking to him until 4am? Because I start work at 6am and already stay up with him until I can't hold my eyes open. That's not enough.