How do you cope with being ugly and undesirable? I resent how

>>17820386
>near myself up
Should be *beat myself up

>>17820386
post pic and i will tell

>>17820391
I can't because I'm on the phone. Can we just assume for the sake of the thread that I am?

>>17820386
>ugly
Getting /fit/, getting a beard, a fitting hair cut, watching your hygiene and body language (a confident ugly dude isn't even half as ugly as an insecure one) and the likes

>undesirable
Acquire desirable qualities and traits. Fix the undesirable ones.

>I am expected to always initiate, lead and maintain relationships
No you're not. If you have to do all the work, it's a dysfunctional relationshit.

>>17820395
just go to asia

as long as you're white

>>17820402
Nah, I'm short and brown and well aware that this places me well below "desirable" by default. Nobody I know who's taller than me has issues getting dates or lays.

>>17820401
Thanks for the input. Would having to do all the work also mean I'm just very unattractive and thus have to be a "pussy beggar"?

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>>17820386
Well, I'm "unpleasant to look at" without my beard, according to my wife and I'm seriously disabled so I grew my beard, got good at some things, and was honest in what I could offer and wanted in return from a woman.

Still happily married after 7 years.

>>17820419
Well, the most important part is to do it for yourself, not for pussy. If your only motivating is getting pussy ... it's unlikely to work and will be much harder.

Also everybody does all of this, some people simply had easier starting conditions due genetic and growing up in the right environment, meeting the right people at the right moment, etc, etc. so they have to do less work to get to the "desirable person" level.

Besides, on the other hand you'd have the achievement of going from "undesirable" to "desirable" which is pretty cool. Like a fatty losing weight, a druggy quitting drugs, a jobless guy finding a job or some peasant getting a degree.

>>17820401
>If you have to do all the work, it's a dysfunctional relationshit
Men are always expected to be the dominant and more assertive side.

>>17820457
Not really, no. I literally NEVER asked a girl out, still had 3 relationships and tons of females who wanted to date me. Being assertive from time to time is good obviously but it's all about balance. If you're not some passive loser, you're going to be fine.

And I am pretty average looking, and poor.

>>17820443
I mean, I come from a place where all women want is tall white guys with lifted trucks and tattoos. Or they like to party drink and smoke weed.

Me, I am really straight edge. Introverted, I dabble a lot in creative and technical things. I've been this way all my life. I don't find a lot of women appealing relationship wise beyond the physical (this isn't a value judgement by the way, most women seem nice enough, but when their interests don't extend beyond "alcohol weed and parties" i get turned off).

As far as being ugly goes, maybe that's not the right word but that's how it feels. I have a nice haircut and beard, I wear clothes that fit, I am not "fit" in the sense that I'm huge and muscular but I am mean and eat decently. But I'm shorter than a lot of guys and this seems to be something women care about the most. Add to it that I can't relate to them on most things and it becomes a very frustrating situation. I obviously can't just go and get laid since women won't hook up with a guy unless he's super hot, and I'm not. I don't have the social life to meet women all the time and online dating is horrible for guys who aren't at the top.

Even if I'm not totally unattractive, I'm not all that attractive either, and I think that could be the real issue here.

>>17820433
Thanks for sharing. If you don't mind telling, how attractive is your wife to you?

>>17820510
>I come from a place where
Well, you're not bound to it and can move to a better place when you can afford to. Besides, even if the majority are like you described, it's unlikely that all of them are. Sure, they might be harder to find, but the right person is rarely easy to find. Even if you were super desirable in every possible way.

>straight edge. Introverted, I dabble a lot in creative and technical things.
Sounds pretty cool. Obviously being introverted will make finding anybody harder but it's better to deal with that than trying to change your personality completely, since there is nothing wrong with any of this. Although obviously the levels wary and you shouldn't go all the way down to full hermit.

>but when their interests don't extend beyond "alcohol weed and parties" i get turned off
Same here, and it's given for most dudes who want more than giving some random chick the D.

>I have a nice haircut and beard, I wear clothes that fit, I am not "fit" in the sense that I'm huge and muscular but I am mean and eat decently.
Sounds pretty good too.

>But I'm shorter than a lot of guys and this seems to be something women care about the most.
While many care about it, and some care about it a lot, it rarely will be the deciding criteria. Not being able to relate to them and not being social enough affects your chances much worse.

>I obviously can't just go and get laid since women won't hook up with a guy unless he's super hot
Two of of my friends who get laid a lot are like 5'8", average as fuck face and barely even speak the language. All they got is a damn nice beard (one of them doesn't even have that), muscle and charm. The latter is something you can easy obtain with practice ... although given the chicks they fucks are the same that are a turn off for you, it's unlikely that the lifestyle would fit you either way. The grass is always greener yo.

>>17820552
My bad bro I got carried with something else for a while, plus I was driving. Anyways I appreciate the thorough response and it does give me some kind of hope. I probably need to work on my self esteem and for my own sake...not for others. I'll think about what you said though, really appreciate it.