ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

Guys:

How do I breach the subject of wanting to move to another state to my live-in boyfriend? He's not financially ready to do so, but I got extended an offer to room with a cousin in a state with a better job market. I've been unemployed since June, so I'm willing to try anything to get work.

What's the most caring, sensitive way to say this without him thinking that I'm trying to break up with him?

girls:

why the fuck am i getting attention from sluts now that i have a gf. 2 girls from hs i knew randomly hmu to hang out this weekend they both have me on fb and insta so they i have a gf. And even when i go out i catch girls looking at me. this NEVER happend when i was single

>>17819779
I'm a guy, but it's probably the fact that if they know you have a girlfriend they know that there is a girl out there who wants to date you, which already separates you from all the sad loner types.

>>17819779
>you look happier and more attractive because you're in love/sexually satisfied
>you're able to act confident and "normal" around them because you're not trying to get laid, treat them as human beings instead of ~girls etc
>confirmation that some other (pretty? socially adjusted? reasonably successful for her age?) girl likes you enough to commit to you which makes you look more promising
>girls who are hungry for attention like to get their kicks from taken guys because they won't moan when she doesn't actually want a relationship (or even sex)

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Why do girls do this?

I get this message a few weeks ago, and I get all excited because I really want to hang out with this girl. I've asked her to hang out multiple times since then, but she's always busy (whether it's legit or bs I'm not 100% sure). I'm not sure what to do anymore. Should I continue proposing various hang outs with her?

> Why do girls do this?

dont atach to this girl. maybe there is another one out there that will give you the atation you want

>>17819803
Different reasons, sadly. It could be that she's had second thoughts - you don't know what was going on with her, she could've been buzzed and into the idea only to wake up next morning and realize that shit, she's not over her ex, what is she doing trying to start stuff with this guy?
Not saying I think this is the most common reason or whatever, but to give you an idea that there's a whole different person's world there that you don't know.

It is also possible that she does want to meet up but is genuinely busy and too popular/confident to realize that turning someone down multiple times is pretty discouraging.

I wouldn't immediately give up but you don't want to end up in a situation where you're flogging a dead horse. A single invitation from her side isn't enough to warrant your continuous energy and hope. Leave her alone for some time, shoot her a message for some event she might be interested with when you actually feel like seeing her, and if she doesn't respond leave it at that. See if she steps up her game. If not, nothing was lost, her interest was flaky or shallow or whatever that's not your problem.

how can i stop worrying so much when the girl i'm interested in mentions other guy friends

if i can't stop caring so much, i'm worried that when i get the nerve to ask her out, i could start to get controlling, and i don't want to be like that

i'm fully aware it's hypocritical of me to care about her having (probably) platonic guy friends when i have platonic girl friends

>>17819822
I wouldn't worry too much about that now. She's not your girlfriend yet, you don't know whether she's interested or not, it's hardly surprising to view her male friends as competition then. If you're actually fucking her and nuzzling her in your arms you might feel wildly different.

Not to mention, when you grow closer you get to know her better and you will likely hear from her how she views them and feels about them. Then you can decide from the way she talks about them and what she has to say about the friendships whether or not they're a red flag.
If she's the kind of girl who goes "teehee yeah he's hot but we're just friends yeah maybe we could date but we're frieends" then no amount of controlling her could make her into the girlfriend you want to have. It is a matter of character, maturity and respect for your partner/the relationship.

Girls:

Since 4chan is 30% girls, what boards do you actually visit?

why are all women sluts

>>17819773
Whats the problem? Just explain exactly what you said to us. Youve been unemployed, theres a job opportunity, he can choose to stay with you or not but you need a job, not a boyfriend.

>>17819854
Because they can, we would fuck lots of them if we could as well.

>>17819851
/adv/, /int/, /lit/ if I'm very bored (because it's so incredibly slow), /an/ if I have a specific question or am very bored. Started on /b/ like most people, used to frequent /r9k/ back when /adv/ was more militant about only allowing questions and not general life experiences.

>>17819820
The thing is she always seems like she wants to hang out based on the tone/body language when I suggest something. Just that she's busy. I feel like she's genuine, but the results suggest otherwise.

She actually suggested something to me, which is coming up at the end of week. But she said she'd need to see if she was busy, so she'd let me know. Well it's Saturday and I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to ask for an update anymore. I left the ball in her court, so she should be the one contacting me.

>>17819851
/adv /int /gd
some shit with good content.

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If I was on a dinner date with a girl, and she paid for both of us (fast, the check came and I reached for my wallet but she had her card out by the time I got it out of my pocket), that's gotta be a good sign she enjoyed herself right? I mean, you don't really rush to pay for the other person unless you like them, yeah?

Side note, she wasn't rushing out the door. We paid and then sat and continued chatting for another 10-15 minutes or so, then left.

Another way to phrase the question: Girls, would you under any circumstance pay for both dinners on a date if you had no intention of seeing the guy again?

>>17819773
Don't date 'financially unsound' guys, are you 18? Just don't.

>>17819854
They aren't, you just aren't going nerdy enough.

Girls, what are some standard ways to prolong a standard adult conversation? I know this may sound autistic, but I've been out of the dating game for years now, lost a kid and my mom in a short few years and I currently don't have much going for me aside from the fact that I'm not handicapped. It's a little hard to not just ask questions. What do I do to not seem broken immediately?

Pic related, currently where the convo is at.

>>17819866
She could be genuine. Some people just like all kinds of things and are enthusiastic in the moment and then next minute they're enthusiastic about something else. The thing is that you can only date her (or even spend time with her) if she's willing and putting in effort herself. If she isn't really any other argument or promising sign falls flat.

Yeah, I wouldn't go after that update.

>>17819868
No, if I'm not interested I insist on paying for my stuff and that's that. Just gives the guy an excuse to treat you in return or something otherwise, and makes you look interested (as you can tell).

>>17819887
>patiently waiting for pic related

sister tryed to embarrass me in front of girl by saying i called her hot she acted like she didnt hear it and kept looking at her phone i didnt get mad at myy sister because shes not my type. all of a sudden her sisters added me on fb ( not friends with her).

Is she in to me? Im not in to her and i dont want to give her that idea

>>17819906
yea, get her to suck your dick then dump her

>>17819906
It's possible, people tend to have that extra bit of interest for people they know or think find them interesting. But adding someone on facebook seems like too little info to really say anything about it, just make sure not to give any other wrong signals.

>>17819906
>all of a sudden her sisters added me on fb
wait, who's sister?

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>>17819897
There we go. We were joking about dinosaurs because she said her favorite movie was Jurassic Park. Couldn't remember any funny quotes so I said "dinosaurs love you, too".

I developed a oneitis and didn't even realise.
She has been my world. I found my happiness through her.

As I write this she's fucking a friend of mine.

I feel so fucking shit
Unbelievabley shit

And I have nobody

Nobody to talk to

>>17819932
By the way, this girl has used that same emote 3 times now and hasn't sent more than one line messages. Feels like I'm boring her already and we only just started talking yesterday.

>>17819925
the girl that thinks im into her. its weird cause we go to same uni and everytime i see her we make eye contact and shes friends with these girls im friends with so i see her a lot

>>17819862
>>17819867
>/int/

I'm impressed grils can handle the autism, can't stay on that board for longer than 5 minutes.

>>17819932
Okay I see. In a conversation you try out different stuff and you see what works. A big part is knowing when to reel it in. This specific branch of conversation (favorite movie -> Jurassic park -> dinosaurs loving her) has been played out. Yeah sure, in theory you could go on and say something like "and unlike a T-rex they even have arms for holding!" or something, but the risk is that she'll just reply lol/haha/true/smiley and then you need to drone on on your own. No fun.

So you have to retrace your steps. You can get back to it being her favorite movie and ask her why. Can be fruitful or not. Say she says that it was the first movie that she got to watch late at night. That's a pretty easy one to relate to, tell her about some candy/holiday destination/whatever you love beyond reason simply because of the nostalgia. Solid bonding.

But it's also possible that she gives a lame answer that gives you very little to work with. That's when you tell her okay, and move on to YOUR favorite movie. Ball's in your court then and you can share the detail that you think will make for the most interesting conversation.

Typically I would always recommend to steer these conversations away from neutral (as opposed to personal) territory as fast as possible. You need to be pretty witty and relaxed to make a whole conversation full of small talk interesting. Instead you can branch out to more personal territory, for example by starting to talk about people who try to give commentary while watching something together, or who ask questions in the middle of everything. Then you can share frustration and you can talk about people you know who do that. Or she is guilty of it and you can tease (=flirt) her over that.

It is really difficult to explain how conversations work without just giving endless examples but does this give you an idea? Do you have specific difficulties/questions?

>>17819958
I'm a Eurofag so it is amusing to expressly see a lot of my fellow Euros be autists about local politics and historical slights. Also to fuck around in my native language for once.

>>17819959
>>17819945
DO NOT make this mistake. You are talking -together-. I am placing all the responsibility on you because I can only advise you so I am trying to explain to you how to carry conversations because you will have to do so sometimes.
But she's not some kind of jury who gets to decide whether you're worth talking to. She might act like that, but she has no right to think that you are boring when she invests nothing herself - it literally does not get more boring than that.

Yes you have to learn from how people respond to you but it is -very- important to not always take it personally when things don't work out. Sometimes you don't have that connection, more often they're just being lazy and not contributing and that's not on you. Know when you handled things awkwardly but also know when something was just beyond your control. There is no point in getting discouraged because some lame ass girl is giving you nothing to work with. That will make you insecure for no reason at all.

>>17819803

I feel for you, man. If I were you I would ask her straight-out if she truly wants to hang out or not. If she says anything other than yes, just move on (i.e., maybe if I can find the time = no). If she says yes, then she was genuinely just unfortunately busy. Ask her what her schedule is in advance and make plans, not just "do you want to hang out today?" It sounds old-fashioned but literally everyone else gets on her calendar weeks in advance, so why shouldn't you?

Good luck, man.

>>17819974
Oh, no personal hits taken here. Just asking purely to refine myself as I finally start moving forward. I had asked why JP was her favorite; she replied with "i love dinosaurs lol", which as you said isn't much for me to go on with. I want to urge/ push her to say something funny or interesting but it almost always seems like this is never the job of the female in a fresh dating situation. Just saying, though. I will eventually be honest and say "you must be on this app for the wrong reasons" and move onto the next chick.

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I'm a short guy, only 5'7. I know height matters a huge amount for physical attractiveness, but by how much? If you took two athletic guys with attractive faces but one was 5'6 and the other 6'3, is that the difference between a 5/10 and a 9/10 for you? I know women are attracted to personality and connection and blah blah blah but I mean first impressions and physically speaking.

>>17820011
Alright then. You would've been better off asking her why she likes dinosaurs, could've brought up whether she cares that they supposedly had feathers etc. I mean, not to be insulting because obviously she gave you nothing but "Dinosaurs love you too" is also something that you can only reply to in a constructive way if you're fairly crafty with talking. It's pretty closed-ended and just warrants a laugh or aww.

And changing the topic to more personal stuff they have to actually share things for (instead of passively replying and not adding anything) can help. You want to weed out the girls who are being half assed and entitled, but not those who are shy and fumbly but wanting to connect.

I would just not talk to her anymore or mention that you started dating someone or whatever instead of trying to make her see the light in case it ends up being nothing. She'll just see you as a jerk and move on.

>>17820021
I know my opinion is not universal but I prefer guys around my own height over guys who are significantly (say, more than an inch or two) taller than I am. Natural eye contact, hugging is better when I can wrap my arm around their shoulder and in my humble opinion pretty much anything sexual is better with a same height partner.

Can't answer for anyone else.

>>17820028
Yep, just gonna stop and see if she tries later. If she doesn't, i'll ask if she does this a lot. Her answer from there will let me know what kind of girl she is.

why do i care so much about how attractive i think others will think girls i like are?

is it just that i'm looking for an excuse to not ask them out beyond being scared of rejection?

>>17820188
Because it reflects upon you as well.
You want other people to recognise that you're able to get an attractive mate.

If you're going out with someone people find unattractive, then that looks bad.

Also yeah, you may be just making excuses in your head as well.

>>17820021
>I'm a short guy, only 5'7
Get off the internet. That's like the average height for males in most countries probably. I don't know if that's a fact, I'm just guessing...

When I go out I'm always looking over all you short guys. I do kinda laugh to myself "lol short dudes". So that's proof most males are short.

If a girl's acting a bit too eager, is it a red flag?

Like you've only met them once but they contact your every day as if you're bffs?

It's like how do they even know I'm not in contact with other girls or something?

>>17820001
Thanks, appreciate it. Like I said in another post, she suggested going to another event happening at the end of this week, so I think that will be my final attempt. I'll probably ask about it again on Monday and if she backs out, I'll move past her.

It sucks, though. I don't think women either understand or care how disappointing things like this can be. I would have rather never have received that message if she didn't want to follow through with it.

>>17820021
hey man, you r tall enough.

but if you think u dont make a good 1st impretion, try internet or tinder

Girls:

I'm under the impression that women, of all ages, only like men that they like from afar and don't really care to put effort into a relationship/friendship with a guy unless they're already attracted to them before knowing them. How true is this actually?

Me and a girl hooked up and I asked her to come home with me which she said no to but not unkindly and she explained not because of disinterest.

I get the impression that she would like things to evolve organically and so just us texting for the sake of it, doing our best to keep up a back and forth msg thread seems almost juvenile you know.

But I was actually pretty drunk when I asked her to come home and I'm not sure exactly how I phrased it and I can't remember how it all played out. I kinda wanna text her to apologise for being so forward and to gauge how I should act on Monday when I see her in our lecture but idk if it would make me seem beta or whatever...

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>>17819750
girls:

Iv been giving subtle flirting ques with my supervisor for the last 3 months. All the signs of attraction are there. Lip licking, pupils dilating, total eye contact when talking, when repeating other employee names she says mine cutely, copying things i do for example i do hand guesters when i talk and she copies them as well, but everyone at my work kinda copies me also, standing in personal space, arms bumping when walking past each other and finger touching when giving each other objects, touching hair when talking to me, getting subconscious when we're touching distance and someone is possibly watching us, first time we met she tilted her head and when i was talking to her and the biggest example "although it happened awhile ago" was i was getting personal with her, asking her about her dreams and goals in life. She lied to me and i pressured her into telling me her real goals, it was really intense for her because i was staring her down and pressing her and after our conversation she was acting like a little school girl the entire day...


Recently though i found out she's dating another supervisor and i was completely unaware and ever since i figured out who it was iv noticed she acts more professional and avoids me when we more to the department he's at during the day. Iv heard them talk normally and fluently but iv never noticed any possible signs of a relationship, she plays more with another supervisor then she does with him although i will say she appears more calm with her bf.

I know this is TL;DR but i wanted to know if someone can tell me the mindset of my supervisor, i wouldn't date her now that i know she had a boyfriend but i'm curious what her mindset was the entire time, like was she willing to cheat with me or was she just flirting to make work more fun?

>>17820264

Girls, like any humans, are susceptible to developing a crush on a new person that enters their life somehow. It's very easy to get a little swept up in having fun being attracted to someone. But often people realise they might be getting a little carried away and decide okay I better knock this off. That's what she did.

>>17820248
I think most women have this inclination when young. It's because they are so used to guys paying attention to them - and I don't mean a constant inpouring of suitors, but if you're fifteen a single guy expressing interest in you can easily give you material to think/worry/fantasize about for months - that they are late with learning to be active about their desire and pay attention to what they actually like in a man.
Having said that you still get situations in which you are "forced" to interact (group settings, colleagues, group projects in college) and it's not true at all that girls "close off" to finding someone attractive if they don't see it right away.

I mentioned this concerning young women; I think typically as women (or men, for that matter) age, they both become more aware of what they want and need from a partner and that life isn't a fairytale and they need to get behind what they want to get behind them (get it?!) or it's not going to happen. And obviously older men are less interested in chasing some women when much more women in his dating range will just be upfront about what they offer and look for.

>>17820256
Don't mention it, act normal. If she mentions it, say "oh yeah sorry about that, I was pretty far gone, I don't even remember all of it so I hope I didn't make you to uncomfortable" then move on.
Don't text. If she texts you "it's fine" you will obsess about whether it was sincere or passive aggressive etc. Text tells you nothing unless she goes all out.
Acting beta... eh, I'd say crawling for her forgiveness is beta, or trying to act like you don't remember anything while that's a clear token lie, but apologizing for being off isn't. Having said that most people just prefer to gloss over awkwardness.

>>17820315
>they both become more aware of what they want and need from a partner and that life isn't a fairytale and they need to get behind what they want to get behind them (get it?!) or it's not going to happen
true but the women I'm talking about are closing in on 30. I'm only 23 and I'm sick of that immaturity.

Fuck, I guess I'm going to be single for a decade and marry a 35 year old divorcee

>>17820264
Agree with the crush/attraction answer. You will always remain susceptible to attraction towards other people. This is not a big deal if you are in a solid, loving relationship with someone you're very attracted to AND offers you an arm around your shoulder, a home, a partner when things get tough etc. She was just enjoying the flirting. Probably shut it down because she realized she would lose authority/professionality etc in your eyes if you thought she was starting to fall for you while dating the other guy.

Obviously this is speculation but it seems most likely from what you say. Everything you mention is a sign of attraction, but that's not the same as wanting to actually fuck someone. You don't mention her trying to get you alone, quizzing you on your love life, initiating contact outside of work etc. That sounds to me like she had no real intent to act on anything.

There's this anecdote on a school teacher who got a bit worked up by all the pretty young boys in her class, which resparked her sex life with her husband. When he asked her how come, she said something like "I work with young men who make me hungry sometimes, but I don't want to go anywhere but home to eat".
Probably never happened I just read it online, but I think it's a good depiction of how you balance monogamy with sexual attraction in general.

i managed to arrange hanging out with my crush next week (were going to watch a series on netflix were both interested in in the late evening)

now, because it could be viewed as a 'netflix and chill' date, will she expect me to make a move? she likes me too right otherwise she would've probably rejected such kind of 'date'?

>>17819750
Ladies,

How do you feel about guys who have mostly women as friends?

>>17820321
To be fair, I was mostly talking about age range 40-60+, people who know real long term love and not a relationship of a few years. Who (more importantly) don't think anymore that they have all the time in the world.

You have to learn how to optimize your personal attraction. Only the 8/10s of this world (and some charismatic 7/10s) can afford to cruise by and instantly be wanted for looks. Hell, even girls will have to learn that if they want a real promising relationship (and not some guy kissing their ass because she's cute) they will have to do more than stand around, they'll have to learn how to present themselves to a guy, how to show their interest and their qualities.

If you're not the kind of guy (like most!) who instantly catches the eye of a woman, you need to invest more in being in places (like a hobby course/reading circle/free lecture/music festival, or small parties of friends where you can actually talk, or (volunteer) work) where you can show off charm, wit, intelligence, attentiveness, kindness etc. Not just looks. You need to choose your audience, you wouldn't go do leftist stand up comedy at an old bar in Arizona. So you have to narrow down what your best qualities are and find situations where they can shine. Similar for your looks with how you dress, or your flirting technique with your actual appeal. Quick example: if you're an androgynous, slender guy then you will attract more than average women who like less traditional men. So there is no point in trying to emulate some fratdouche when flirting.

>>17820366
I meet plenty of women through Churches and Church related events

just the ones I'm attracted to are few

the attractive ones I actually enjoy spending even 5 minutes talking to are even fewer

the attractive ones I enjoy talking to would never put forth an effort to talk to me, hang out with me, pursue a friendship with me, etc. unless I'm the one setting all of it up. And by this point they don't like me. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't like top waste time on first dates unless I'm at least acquainted with a girl, have seen her more than once, and had a positive experience with her more than once.

>>17820338
>>17820273
er, sorry is i miss communicated. She didn't "knock it off" although it has died down, i just found out and i decided i'm going to stop flirting with her. Last week she told me she liked my new shirt, licked her lips hard while putting on chapsticks and stood in a doorway so i could brush against her "i didn't"

But again i'll mention she completely ignores me when in the presence of her boyfriend. Only once she bumped my arm behind a desk in the area her boyfriend was in. Also all of this is non-verbal besides a few "i like your hair / shirt" kinda stuff.

>>17820365
Probably gay.

>>17820357
Unless she's really naive she's going to expect cuddles at least.

Be sure not to move too quickly, though. Spend a lot of time in the stage of just doing cute stuff like having your arm around her, holding hands, exchanging kisses and so on. If you are looking for a relationship don't treat her like a hook up, it depends on the girl whether or not that would scare her off and you don't want to take that risk. Look into her eyes, be cute and playful with her, tease her and flirt with her, basically make it really obvious that you like -her- and are not just looking for someone to hook up with.

>>17820365
I've been friends with one, incidentally he had slept with 80-90% of them. He was an odd case.

Anyway, I can understand why, women tend to view and treat friendship differently. It is not so much having female friends that I care about as having the right attitude towards secrecy and boundaries. Biggest one with secrecy is failing to mention that you were sexually intimate with a friend (which in itself is also less than ideal). As for boundaries - no girl wants to be the girlfriend of a guy who is pulling women onto his lap left and right at parties, has pictures online of getting kisses on the cheek from his friend, is called baby by all of them... There's a difference between dating a man who has mostly female friends and dating a man who is simultaneously a lot of women's orbiter.

not >>17820357 but if i do this, how do i make a move without it being awkward

>>17819857
Welp, I did that and he went off about how I'm only thinking of myself and he wouldn't have any place to live if I left (which isn't true, he can easily move back home rent-free, he just doesn't want to.)

I'm going to move anyway, but was just posting to say that being open with some people isn't worth it at all. I shouldn't be dating this person anyway though.

>>17819871
I'm not financially stable either! I'm super fucking poor and can't afford to live outside of a roommate situation myself. So I date within my financial caste, so to speak.

I'd never want to date a person with money and bounce from $8/hr part time jobs constantly, not being able to financially contribute to the relationship equally. Seems like it'd be super unfair to the other person, you know?

>>17820373
Okay, it is hard for me to judge from just your descriptions whether you run in shitty circles or are very picky about appearance if the far majority of the women you meet don't appeal to you.

But disregarding that for a moment, it is a sad truth that at your age a girl who is pretty, smart and educated, sweet and reasonably interesting is going to have a lot of options. Especially if she's in a church community where there are plenty of men exclusively or primarily interested in dating fellow religious women.

If you are only interested in the small top percentage (of all the women you come into contact with) it's worth muling over what you have to offer compared to other guys. And that doesn't have to be money or muscles at all, I'm talking about everything - from conversational skills and nice stories to tell to insight in religion (in this case), whether you come from a nice family, your level of confidence etc.
I have never been active in a church myself but I would wager that if you really put yourself out there a lot with activities (can't you do something - not molestation - with kids like volunteering to do Bible classes for the youngest? this is a really attractive image/trait to women) and make a name for yourself to the point where if your name comes up in the community, many people recognize you as something who puts in effort and has certain qualities etc, that's going to be really really attractive to women within it. There is some deeply ingrained inclination within women to get with the man who sets himself apart and proves himself.

>>17820365
My boyfriend had, in a phase of his life, mainly female friends.
It was okay, I didn't mind. As long as he keeps his boundaries and he is not attracted to them, all cool. I won't date an "orbiter".

>>17819773
explain it like you just did

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>>17820406
See: >>17820385

>too slowly realizing that you've been dating an incredibly shitty person

>>17820383
There is no single secret tip. It depends on the circumstances in the moment. All I can tell you is to make a move when she gives you signs. Signs include:
>laughing/giggling lots
>flushed in the face
>dilated pupils
>lots of long eye contact
>when you talk (and nothing is on) there's lots of random long silences
>she looks at your mouth and/or licks her lips while you're talking
>sitting next to each other (touching), brushing into each other
>she finds excuses to playfully slap you or get offended at random things you say

If she does none of these things, just sits there a few inches away from you intently watching the movie, don't make a move.

>>17820418
Well it's good thing your boyfriend is free now.

>>17820248
If we're speaking romantically, then, I obviously do not care about putting effort into a relationship with a man I find unattractive.
What's the point?
I don't want to date someone I don't find attractive, I'm not leading them on.

If we are talking about friendship, then, no. I am friends with guys I don't find particularly attractive. But, of course, with a friend I won't exactly put a lot of effort - I am not going to text them often or ask them to hang out all the time. Especially when I just met them, unless I want a relationship, I rarely talk to people if there's no reason to.

>>17820385
You probably live in North America or Europe, here in Brazil still much expected for the guy to be the financial foundation of the couple.

>>17820378
>>17820383
>>17820422
thank you!

>>17820396
oh yeah, I mean I do do all of that stuff. I do think about it. Thanks for being level headed. I Do volunteer with kids all the time and have a few close female relationships, but they're all one sided like I said
>>17820427
you're misreading what I'm saying; I'm saying that generally women are attracted to men from afar, before they get to know them, and then only put in the effort of knowing them if they already like them

I see women who have the same opinion of a man the day they met them vs after 3 months of dating. They make up excuses for the flaws they discover because they already happen to like them (for superficial reasons, and yes personality is a superficial reason)

I don't even believe in the idea of friendzoning anymore. I literally don't believe women put effort into friendships with men they're not attracted to, and if they really miss or desire to be close to that man then they do actually like them but for one reason or another have convinced themselves not to go forward with it, and thus those women aren't worth dating because they don't know what they want

what I'm saying is I feel like a woman has to like me right off the bat for me to have any chance with them, and that's retarded

>>17820436
That's a thing in North America/Europe/any country with old-fashioned values. I got guff from my parents constantly because my boyfriend and I split all bills down the middle instead of him paying for everything.

I always thought that would come across like I was taking advantage of my partner's finances. I'd feel the same way if I was making six figures a year, though.

>>17820424
Are you implying that I was in the wrong here? If so, how?

>>17820448
Shitty to hear about the one sided crushes/friendships. What about how you treat women, do you express your interest enough? For the record, I don't think highly of the whole "women are only attracted to assholes", but attraction is not something that is sparked by formal stiff politeness or someone treating you gingerly all the time. Part of the appeal of cheeky flirting and teasing is that you get to see a playful side of your partner that makes it all the more vivid how they would play around with you sexually. Plus humor and banter disarm people and catch them off guard, you want to touch and impress a girl for the girl she is inside, not her public demeanor when dealing with people in a friendly but distant manner.
Just trying to throw out some suggestions.

Well I have to add something and that's that infatuation clouds your judgment pretty intensely and men are not exempt from this either. I know you did not imply this in your post, but it might help you to not get too stuck on these negative unhelpful thoughts to pay active attention to men being dumb and obsessed over bland pretty women to get some more perspective.

And I don't see how personality is a superficial reason, what isn't, then?

>>17820448
Why should I put effort into knowing a guy I don't like, romantically? What's the point?
I acknowledge that guys I like have flaws - I have them, and I'm sure that whoever I will date will have flaws. But it's okay, I won't dump a guy for some flaw.

>I literally don't believe women put effort into friendships with men they're not attracted to
Why wouldn't you? I am friends with women and I am definitely not attracted to them. There are some men I don't find attractive, and I still enjoy their company because of shared interests, similar sense of humour and similar hobbies.

>what I'm saying is I feel like a woman has to like me right off the bat for me to have any chance with them, and that's retarded
Why would someone who doesn't like you put effort into getting to know you?

>>17820461
>Why would someone who doesn't like you put effort into getting to know you?
I'm the other poster responding to him and just wanted to point out that I took it as - the girl might not necessarily put in active effort for him, but if she sees more of him she can grow to like him over time anyway.
Basically, lack of falling in love at first sight doesn't mean you can't get there eventually. He knows that rationally but finds it hard to really believe it.

Girls:

Is inexperience a turn off? My ex was very iffy when it came to sexual stuff. We only had sex once and I only ate her out like 3 times in a 5 year period. I'm pretty bad at finding the clit and like I said have only had sex once. I'm willing to learn. I love performing oral. I just might need a little....guidance I guess?

>>17820456
You are quite obviously the bad guy here

>>17820468
Personally, fuck no. I fucking love the idea of having a male pupil. I would love to blow your mind pampering you and then teach you all about how to fuck a woman properly.

But what I don't love is a guy who is inexperienced and still tries to run the whole show. Who gets huffy when I say something isn't working for me, or who doesn't mention his inexperience so that I can't play into it.

Not every girl will like it but I don't think it's an uncommon fantasy to teach a man the ropes either... for what it's worth. As long as you actually accept guidance and don't try to wing everything.

>>17820478
Isn't it true that will be clear that he inexperienced even before both of you get naked though?

>>17820460
>What about how you treat women, do you express your interest enough?
I used to be really bad at it, but in the last two years I have been good with it. Like I openly flirt with women who know I'm attracted to them, and have even asked a few of them out. They seem to get really skiddish and don't know what to do when I don't fall head over heels for them and just say I really enjoy spending time with them and think I'd like to date them. I realized (way too fucking late) that I need to offer something as a person individually for a woman to want to be with me, and not just capitalize on what I have in common with them.

>And I don't see how personality is a superficial reason, what isn't, then?
I meant personality as in the way a person carries/expresses themselves. I see women talk about this all the time as if that's not the same thing as phyisical attraction.

>>17820461
>Why should I put effort into knowing a guy I don't like, romantically? What's the point?
because, whether you believe it or not, women are horrible judges of a man's character without getting to know them

>There are some men I don't find attractive, and I still enjoy their company because of shared interests, similar sense of humour and similar hobbies.
right, same with me with a few women. I don't put effort into a friendship with them though, and that's my way of letting them know that even though there's things about them I like that I don't like them that way. Same goes for you, I'm sure; I don't think this is a point of contention

>Why would someone who doesn't like you put effort into getting to know you?
because how else are you supposed to find someone you'll actually like enough to get to marry? Honestly I put in effort with anyone who's willing to put in effort to get to know me, but that seems to be close to zero.

"like" is a dumb word when talking about this, and that's why I chose "attracted to."

>>17820478
well thank you. Ive let my current gf know Im inexperienced. Hopefully I can get better. Making a girl cum is like my fantasy. She told me all her previous boyfriends hated foreplay. Just wanted to have sex and be done with it I guess. I want to blow her mind but I understand I will need to follow her lead.

>>17820482
Completely depends. Trust me, men who are experienced can still fuck up. My last partner just came out of a five year relationship but he fingered me way too hard. I think actually because of all the experience he was confident and just went at it without realizing I was a different woman and might not like his ex's preferred touch. There are also plenty of people who like sex but are completely unambitious about it and just do the same old menu in their relationship over and over - aka, are out of moves when a new partner brings in a new vibe and switches things up. And if you have had eighty hook ups, you might be very experienced in a way but you have eighty experiences of a quick sloppy fuck without any feedback.

Also, it is normal for a man to be nervous at first when he's quite into you, or when it's been a while, or just for whatever other reason. It can be obvious that someone is inexperienced but it's not necessarily the case.

>>17820461
cont.

example; I know a woman very well that I like (we're close friends and I laid out how I feel about us a while back, we're still friends, long story) and the men she's been attracted to are all men she doesn't really know at all. Like her fitness instructor and this one guy who was ex military who started going to our church. I candidly asked her if there's anyone she's genuinely known in the last 4 years that she would like enough to even say yes to going on a date with and she said no. I mean she's a special case, but I know another girl who is the opposite; would say yes to almost anyone who put in the time to pursue her but even then would dump those guys in a heart beat for a guy she was attracted to but didn't really know. Get my drift? I feel like women my age don't act smartly about what they want, and chase after (or hold out for) guys they can project onto instead of seeing guys they're genuinely compatible with

>>17820491
>She told me all her previous boyfriends hated foreplay.
Oh, you'll blow her mind alright. Just be patient. Let her teach you how she wants to be touched, what her hot spots are, how she wants to make out etc. Then you attack once you know what to work with. And look up cunnilingus guides, there's great elaborate ones online. Every pussy is different but it gives you an array of moves you can try.

Some tips for great fun that is not centered around penetration (I share her priorities for what it's worth);
>tease each other, do stuff like going out for drinks and talking about your fantasies and the hottest things you saw/heard of from strangers then get home and rip each other's clothes off
>the thighs, small of the back and neck are pretty much all time favorites of most women, also firm grabbing around the hips/ass, pushing her up against things
>grinding is severely underrated as foreplay, also works great with breathy dirty talk and neck kissing/licking involved, amazing for lazy mornings in bed
>let her know when she's rocking your world, make some noise, even if it's just sighing everything's better than nothing at all
>mutual masturbation is loaaaads of fun

>>17820466
Of course, but if I am not attracted to him I don't want to put effort into getting to know him.
It happened to me that I liked someone over time, but it was always because we got to meet each other randomly enough times to grow interest into each other.

>>17820484
>women are horrible judges of a man's character without getting to know them
This is a very stupid generalisation. I always had fairly accurate first impressions.
In general, I don't have any desire to push myself into knowing someone if I am not already attracted to them. Getting to know someone requires effort, and I'm not going to waste my time over someone randomly.

>because how else are you supposed to find someone you'll actually like enough to get to marry?
I liked my boyfriend the first time I talked to him. I honestly liked him even before talking to him. We've been together for many years and I still think he's pretty great.

>>17820484
That sucks, based on what you say about it I can't really pinpoint anything that stands out as something you might do wrong. Obviously not everyone you do things "right" with is going to fall for you but it's still discouraging of course.

>I see women talk about this all the time as if that's not the same thing as phyisical attraction.
It isn't really the same in my opinion. Obviously not the same as personality either but the way we behave is kind of a reflection of our personality. If you find a girl extra adorable because while talking with someone she respects a lot you can see her fidgeting with the hem of her dress under the table, or because she instantly smiles when she sees a cute animal, that is not unrelated to their appearance nor is it unrelated to their character.

>>17820493
I see, if I'm a virgin though, what's the best way to tell a woman about it, and in what moment?

>>17820511
pretty much all women like any attractive man no matter what his character or personality is.

>>17820523
This isn't what I said, at all.
First, attractiveness is subjective. I cannot think of one man that all women find attractive.
I wouldn't date someone with a bad personality or character, or someone I find ugly or with a mannerism I genuinely detest. Shallow characteristics are important, too - you cannot fuck a personality.

>>17820539
But the thing is what you consider a bad personality or mannerism wouldn't be bad if it was performed by an attractive guy.

>>17820520
Ideally after making out and foreplay type things but before intercourse. I think most women would be able to understand withholding that bit of info, but it is still a bit sad to realize that the person you're crazy about didn't credit you enough to be sure that you'd like them with or without their virginity.
And if they're like me, they'll be bummed out for missing the chance to really take charge right away and make sure it was an awesome experience. Which I think is pretty much every woman at least for the man she fell in love with and wanted to be with.

The reason to do it after "foreplay" is because the biggest misconceptions are out of the way. She already knows she likes your touch and the way you treat her in sexual situations. If she's never been with a virgin (or had a bad experience with one) or for any other reason has a negative stigma of virgins, you avoid the brunt of her prejudice this way.
As for how to tell her - be relaxed about it. Don't look for reassurance or approval. For example, you're lying in bed having pillow talk and she asks about previous relationships, you tell her some stuff about why it was never really the right time then say "you're actually going to be my first, I cannot believe what an amazing woman I found in you, my teenage self would've never believed it". Wording isn't perfect because I'm a bit tired and English isn't my first language but you get the idea I guess, present it as a positive that she gets to be the first woman who shows you sex. It is shitty but women will be turned off not so much by virginity as by bitterness, regret, desperation etc. If she is certain that you are not settling for her because she's the first woman who looked your way, and that your zest of life isn't spoiled by >tfw no teenage romance, most of the issue is gone.

>>17820511
>This is a very stupid generalisation. I always had fairly accurate first impressions.
no you didn't

thanks for proving me right

>>17820542
Did you just decide so? Because it really isn't the case, for me.
There are some personality traits or mannerisms I find unattractive on every guy. I don't like rudeness, I am not a big fan of shyness, I detest people who are easily angered and upset, I would never date someone I considered stupid. I detest people who need to treat others like shit to feel good about themselves. I don't like indecisiveness.

Again - an ugly guy is still ugly, even if he is perfect in his mannerism and his personality. But I can definitely lose attraction to an attractive guy if he has a terrible personality.

>>17820551
I am sorry? How did I prove you right?

Complicated situation.
>Friend (B) sets me up with girl (R) despite my refusal to get into something long-term, and how I dislike dating
>actually feel for her, we have great chemistry
>friend turns out to be a fucking sociopath, creates web of deceit so he can set up another friend with her (G).

as it is right now, i did a lot of deductive reasoning and talked to both G and R separately to figure out what the fuck B had been up to, and it's really sickening. I'd jump ship entirely, but I feel strongly for this girl. As in, we connect and relate in our life-experiences and world-views.

So what do I do? I know what both G and R want out of relationship, and their answers don't agree with each other, so that will die naturally, but I want to kill it myself because this emotional stress is too much.

>>17820553
I guess you are a special snowflake then, good for you I guess.

>>17820564
Most adults are like that. I know very few people who would date someone just because they are attractive superficially and not because they like their personality, too.
And it's mostly guys.

>>17820564
Everyone perceives things a bit differently depending on the person who does them. People aren't robots with objective impressions, we see the bigger picture. Think of how a cute slim girl obviously enjoying the shit out of a huge glass of ice cream and doing the "mmm" noises would be adorable/sexy to a lot of guys, yet a slightly fat girl doing the same would be disgusting if you're not a feeder.
And if a girl's really stunning she can be bitchy and guys will think she's so tsundere and they want to crack her exterior and make her all glossy eyed and lovey, but if she's a homely bitchy girl she's just a cunt.

None of this is really news. It's like when you start a thread and aks people what they find attractive and they say stuff like, red hair, thigh high socks, it is presumed that they are talking about these things on girls they already find cute.

>>17820507
How to find out how one likes to be touched?
I masturbate, but when I do I don't need to touch myself.

Girls.

Could this be seen as a good sign?

I was asking a girl about plans over winter break, and she specifically mentioned her 21st bday as being 2 days after xmas.

>>17820590
Don't buy her anything, congratulate her though if you want.

>>17820590
No, a birthday is something relevant enough to be mentioned in a casual conversation without carrying any hidden meaning.

>>17820584
There's preferences for lighter or firmer but the biggest thing is to not be rough and be mindful of your nails. For some people this is the most natural thing in the world, for others not. Anyway apart from making sure your nails don't scrape her (keep them very short just in case, also with fingering), some stuff;
>cup her breasts from below, not straight on, weigh them in your hand, do not clamp down on them like they're stress balls, if you grope them make a slow kneading motion that goes into the fat but doesn't attempt to reach the core of her breast, if you feel something hard (her milk gland) press less far, these are sensitive
>don't be skittish about touching her: touch her outside of sexual things, also just a slap on the ass or some daytime neck kisses, give her a lot of caressing and skin on skin contact during sex, especially heavy limp hands draped on her lower back, ass, stomach etc, make her feel held
>switch it up, no insanely repetitive motions like swirling a finger around her nipple clockwise ten times, but don't be rushed, take your time
>when getting a girl to orgasm (especially with oral or fingering) DO NOT ramp it up right before she cums, steadily keep at what got her so close, at most increase the pace a bit but don't go all out and throw her off

Most of the mistakes guys make are groping too hard and being visibly nervous about touching her body - keeping their hands in the same place for weirdly long or withdrawing them as soon as they can, stuff like that.

>>17820545
Thank you so much. I'm really fearful I'll reek of desperation and insecurity, mainly because my experience even in terms of making out are minimal. Your wording and the implicit playful and pleasant connotation is really good though, so maybe there's a little hope.

To women:
How do I go about seeming approachable?

I've been told before that someone liked me, but never knew if I was "all there"- I usually stare at people, sit in a very closed position (arms folded, legs together), and just generally look sad all the time.
I feel like this is becoming a serious issue, especially if I were to ask a girl out: I don't want her to get creeped out,

>>17820593
True

>>17820591
I was planning on just wishing her a happy birthday.
But, if my some chance we end up together by then, then I will buy something

Girls

Does this give any indication on interest?

I mentioned to a girl I am interested in that we should meet up over break
She replied with this "We can always give it a shot!"

Guys,

I asked a guy out for drinks. He said yes, I gave him my number and he said he would text me. How long do I wait before I know he's not interested?

>>17820625
>How long do I wait before I know he's not interested?

I can go month+ without texting a girl I am into.

But if this is the first text your waiting on, then maybe wait 3 days or so max.

>>17820598
No problem at all. I understand your worries, people are unkind to male virgins online, but then again people are unkind to lots of groups of people online and it hardly ever correlates to how they treat people in real life (thankfully). Don't forget that once you are in love with someone there is a natural desire to want to be their world, to disappear into each other, to know beyond and above all doubt that you matter to them. Knowing that you are the first to express sexual desire and love to this person is a really powerful way of getting that security.

And another thing to keep in mind is that virtually everyone's scared when opening up to a new person. So many people have had break ups that left them thinking "I will never find anyone else who puts up with me like this person did". Everyone knows the feeling of thinking someone is so grand that you couldn't possibly NOT disappoint them, right?
For you it's inexperience, for someone else it's something else but that doesn't mean they don't carry their own bagage and worries. What matters is whether you can live your life despite them and not give in to fears that you're not good enough. Good luck!!

>>17820625
Why don't you text him and ask him. He already said yes. Come up with a date and ask.

>>17820625

How long have you waited so far? I mean, how long ago did you give him the number?

>>17820597
I-I'm a girl myself

girls (non romantic): Help me I am aspie and overthink things. Would you still be mad at me for this if it happened 2 years ago? A lot of my housemates and friends are going to this girl's moving away party and i'm not sure if I should show. My housemate invited me to come.

i was her lab partner 2 years ago but due to medical problems i was a depressed asshole and ditched her when she needed me. luckily other people helped her with the big project while i was in the hospital and she did fine. people knew i was gone for big reasons as I didn't show up for the rest of the semester and it was an essential class.

I apologized to her later and mentioned the medical issues. i don't think she hates me, but i'm not sure.Yesterday I was with a friend of mine and bumped into her and they chatted for a bit. she didn't seem bothered by my presence, but I also wasn't saying anything.

>>17820609
Seems like you already noticed some important things. Smiling, open body language (so no folded arms), leaning (a bit) towards them, easy eye contact etc make it easier.
And obviously there's just replying enthusiastically to what she says in a way that shows that you listened well, remembering what she told you about herself, showing your own personality and stories in your conversations etc.

>>17820616
Not sure if she meant this in a non-committal way ("we can always try it", already setting you up for the message that she's too busy) or that she was just trying to be quirky.

>>17820647
>Not sure if she meant this in a non-committal way ("we can always try it", already setting you up for the message that she's too busy) or that she was just trying to be quirky.

True, hoping just quirky. Which is kinda in line with her personality

Then again her messages though seem to be kinda thought out a fair bit though. And more info than needed is usually mentioned.

>>17820643
Even better! You can practice on your own body to get an idea, obviously another lady won't have exactly all of your preferences, but it goes a long way to at least have a frame of reference for how hard you can grope an ass (just to name something) before it just turns unpleasant.

For the record, I read it as a girl into girls right away, only realized now that you might be looking for tips for men. Men are a bit trickier because it depends on the individual how much they are fed the notion that whole body touching/kissing etc is a thing for women. I would start out safe with touching the chest, kissing his shoulders, stroking his face/playing with his facial hair etc, stuff that is still conventionally manly. If he responds with obvious enjoyment to being caressed by you you can branch out and see if he likes his nipples played with, his ass groped, belly kisses (trace the happy trail!) and so on.

>>17820646
I remember you posting about this some time ago... let it go man, if she wants to resent you over some stupid school project because you ran into some huge issues that's on her. And it doesn't even sound like she does.

>>17820634
I'm really grateful for your thoughtful answer. Take care.

File: 1450027210822.jpg (72KB, 720x960px)

72KB, 720x960px

>>17820634
>Everyone knows the feeling of thinking someone is so grand that you couldn't possibly NOT disappoint them, right?
Oh boy this is the single most frequent feeling I have when talking to women.

>>17820658
yeah this is the other girl in the 3 person lab group, The original girl i posted about is ok with me and she's invited me to stuff, so I guess we're cool now.

I'm sorry it was just a really bad time for me and when it comes to people who were around during that time, i just can't let it go. it's a lot worse than what i wrote about on here and i'm just so ashamed of everything i did. It was bad enough that the cops were involved. But i'm probably projecting

>>17820666
Well, if the original girl who seemed to have bigger issues is cool with you now then what are the chances that third girl isn't? Besides, let me tell you, girls talk among each other, if girl#1 changed her opinion of how you behaved you bet it came up with girl#3 sooner or later.

If it's really that bad that you can't move on yourself, shoot out a really (REALLY) short apology. Say that it still bothers you every time you think about it and you hope they don't hold it against you that you were a lousy partner. That's all you can do.

But for the love of god, you're not some sort of saint, you will make enemies and fuck up in your life one way or another. It is good that you are so conscientious about whether or not you did anything wrong, but you have to come to terms with living your life as a human being who does both good and shameful things.

>>17820664
>>17820634

How about not putting people in pedestals?

>Don't forget that once you are in love with someone there is a natural desire to want to be their world, to disappear into each other

Smothering a relationship under too much pressure is a surefire way to not only extinguish it, but also lose other relationships you have in life.

>>17820654
Yes, I'm hetero. I realise how unclear my questions was. Like I said I don't TOUCH myself, so it's basically impossible to tell my partner how I want to be touched. You can suggest that I try by myself and find out, but it doesn't turn me on, it's not pleasurable.
I also have no clue on how to help him when he performs oral sex on me, I don't know what I like, I'm yet to find somehting I like.

>>17820677
Thanks man this really helped a lot. Lots of residual guilt on my end. But the person 2 years ago isn't me. And i'm sorta friends with the original girl so I think it's ok.

Nah, i don't think any of them want to revisit that time either. I'm sure they've heard through the grapevine more of what was going on (which was pretty bad). I've told one or two people who know the girls, what really happened and that part of my disappearance was for rehab on top of everything else.

You're right. I just gotta move on. I'll cruise by tonight and i'll just wish her well if we bump into each other.

>>17820687
How you feel in the throes of infatuation, when everything is huge and scary and bliss, isn't comparable to how the rest of the relationship plays out.

I mean, when you are smitten with someone you also think every single tiny piece of information related to them is fascinating. After dating for a couple of months, not so much.

>>17820636
I gave him mine, we didn't exchange. It's not like I don't see him in person though. Should I bring it up the next time we see each other? I don't want to be pushy and come across as desperate.

>>17820637
I did it midweek

>>17820697

I get what you mean, but the point is still the same. I'm not saying "don't fall in love", I'm saying "don't disappear into each other". Keep your distance, keep some your friends, keep some your hobbies, keep some of your space, etc. In other words: keep yourself.

>>17820693
Ahhh right, I get it now. I am still unsure of what you write here whether or not you have some sexual experience, though. If you do, reflect for a bit on that: what were the most intense moments you can remember? What are the things he did that you most often remember fondly or pop up in your head while fantasizing?
If you haven't yet, there's not really a point in worrying beforehand whether you'll know what you like or dislike (/like less). It's something you learn along the way, often enough people are very surprised by what gets them going in the heat of the moment.

To take that to the eating out part, you might not be able to tell him how to rock your world but you can tell him when something does nothing for you, or the stimulation is too intense. By crossing off the stuff that isn't doing it for you you can narrow things down together to come up with an individual routine, which is also just great fun.

Guys

Do all of you ignore your gf's when they are upset, even though you ignoring them is what got them upset in the first place?

>>17820705
I didn't mean it in such a "practical" way. I'm talking about staying up at night having heart to hearts and having that aching desire to know everything about them, every last memory of their childhood, to tuck it all away inside yourself. Or to be pressed up against each other wishing you were one person, you could melt into each other.

I'm not talking about literally not wanting to see other people or never having time to yourself. Basically the feeling like you want to disappear inside each other as opposed to actually wanting it.

>>17820703

>I did it midweek

So three days and still nothing? Give him a bit longer, he might be busy/be kinda shy.

But he is taking pretty long, I agree with you there. I mean, he doesn't need to set up a date outright, he could at least say "hi!". Some people don't have a strong texting game, though.

>>17820711

Oh, intimacy is fine. But don't tell me you have never encountered "that couple". Those two that do everything together, that ignore friends, etc.

Your message read that way to me, and /adv/ has way more clingy dudes than cold ones, so I thought a little warning was in order.

>>17820716
Wish I could say that I never encountered those, but yeah, it was not remotely my intention to come across like that.

>>17820616
As I girl,
We would only say that if we wanted be nice at saying that we didn't want to hangout.

>>17820707
I do, I've had two relationships (a previous one and my current one), in the current one, we've had sex up to 3 times a day, so I'm rather experienced I guess
Something of what I like the most is when we rub against each other and I feel his erection
I like being on top because it's easier for me to get off (he always orgasms)
I like having sex spontaneously, for example if I get out of the shower and he's turned on, perfect moment, even if we were planning on doing something else

I've received oral sex a few times now, and I don't like it since the beginning. I don't like not being able to reach out to touch him, I feel like he is "too far away". But focusing on the oral sex itself, I feel like I don't get any pleasure out of it, so it feels it's like a "pause", imagine you're having sex and have to pause, it's hard to go back to having fun again, especially when you know the other person wants do to do something for you and it's not working.

And it's similar for fingering. I don't finger myself. I don't know how to make it pleasurable so I don't know how to teach him. Maybe I should be open about this so that he doesn't feel like I don't wanna help.

>>17820708
He sounds like a terrible boyfriend

>>17820730
Maybe. Then again every person is different.

This one did mention this when I asked if she has an idea of when she's free. (This is like 3 weeks in advance right now)

>Honestly? No clue/ Depending on days people need coverage or call I go to, its hard to tell. But I'll let you know

Still could be either or?

FWIW, she does tend to go in depth with alot of the other texts

Would it be possible as male to successfully hit on a cute female emergency room doctor? How?

Context:
My old uncle was a little ill, so I had to take him to the hospital. The doctor who saw us was young, nice, cute, had pretty feetsies, etc. She asked for some exams and to return afterwards.
We return, she sees the exams, gives the diagnosis while chatting a little. She asked my uncle about his ancestry (she pretty much knew we were Japanese, but wanted a confirmation), then she started talking about Japanese food and how much she loves it, etc.

Main question above ^.
Bonus question: when you talk to a professional who is younger than you and YOU might want to befriend/date them, is it OK to simply say "you" instead of "mister/miss/madam"? The doctor was always saying mister to me, so I called her miss.

Girls:

Why would a girl ask me to feel her arm and then tell me right after that she could beat me up? in a joking way, i think (hope)

>>17820732
Alright, that's some good starters. It is common to get off easier on top. You can also use the things that you know you like to branch out, like trying new positions with you on top, or if you mentioned the spontaneous sex, I think stuff like surprise teasing in public might be nice for you as well.

Not everyone likes oral. For some women the sensation is too soft and they don't feel anything or it just kind of tickles. Others find the wetness of it all icky. You're not obliged to like anything, but if you want to give it another shot, 69 might be a better option. You're not lonely in the bed while he's between your legs, and he can grope your ass etc so there is more going on than just having your pussy eaten.

That you don't know how to point him to perfection right away doesn't mean you can't get there through trial and error. I would absolutely communicate that you feel this way though, it will clear the air and he'll know with certainty that he's not just failing compared to other lovers or something.

>>17820764
She actually wants you to overpower her. This is a mainstay of female attraction.

i think this girl is cute, and i've been telling myself that i'll wait until after break to ask her out because we'll be several hours apart

but as of a couple hours ago, i've been thinking i should just quit delaying and ask her out as soon as we're both finished with finals

what do y'all think i should do?

>>17820761
Don't hit on people doing their jobs dude. It's really annoying and you certainly won't be the first.

>>17820778
How far are apart are you?

>>17820761

hitting on people in their job is... awkward. It can be done, but it's not a sure thing.

It's not advisable to do if you are going to keep going back there, so at least wait until your uncle is alright.

>>17820778
>i think this girl is cute

What does she think of you?

>>17820783
10+ hours

>>17820788
>What does she think of you?
i don't know
isn't that what i'm asking her out on a date to find out?

>>17820789
I would wait then.

If it was like 2-3 hrs, then maybe you coulda done it.

Maybe try if you can do something before you both head home?

>>17820792

Does she at least know you? Do you talk? Do you share classes? Do you only see her walking down the halls?

Usual advice: If you have never even spoken to her, then don't bother her. She'll reject you because, guess what? Most girls don't date strangers. It's kinda dangerous, you know?

>>17820771
Isn't it weird to masturbate without touching youself though?

>>17820708
Generally yes, but if I think she's just going to be bitchy to me about it I'll prob tune her out. Course, I doubt the relationship will last very long if I always feel like I'm being attacked.

>>17820804
>Does she at least know you?
yes, i have her number

>>17820798
i'm just worried that if i don't do it now, i'll make another excuse not to after break

>>17820779
>>17820784
Not even a little "how about we go get some Japanese food some time?" without pressuring her?
Uncle won't go back there, unless the treatment fails, which is unlikely.

>>17820822
>without pressuring her

Who you think you're kidding? That's asking her out. If she's not brain-dead she will know you're hitting on her in a very unfortunate place and proceed to reject you accordingly.

>>17820818
>yes, i have her number

Doesn't say much. You can have it because of a group project, or even from a group in Wassap that someone made for the class. Heck, if we wanna get creepy, you could have gotten it from someone else.

So please, tell us a bit about your relationship with her.

>>17820822

Being asked out is being pressured. I mean, you know you are a perfectly normal guy, but she doesn't. She has to reject you in the middle of her work day, she doesn't know how you are gonna react, etc. It's not fun.

Guys, what are some small things about a girl's appearance that add a nice touch?

>>17820831
we'd been talking to each other a bit in class, so i asked for her number to study together
that ended up just being talking to each other and not studying
got lunch with her earlier this week, so at the very least, we're friends

>>17820835

What's a "small thing"? A little make-up? A hair pin? Underboob?

A nice touch of what? Cuteness? Sexyness?

>>17820840

So you actually hang out! Great!

Do you think she likes you?

>>17820827
I'd accept the rejection.
Sometimes /adv/ tells you to ask everyone out, sometimes it tells you not to. ;_;

>>17820833
>she doesn't know how you are gonna react
I never thought about it that way. Although I think most people see me as inoffensive.

>>17820850
i think she had a crush on me before we talked to each other
not sure if she still does now that she knows me/after i've made no move in the past 4 months

I've never been in a NSA relationship before and now I got myself one. My issue is that I already like this guy and he seem to like me as well. But it seems like it's not going any further than this.

How do I cope with this?

Some friends told me to look for date other guys for a while, I planned to go out with a old friend of mine next week but I don't really feel comfortable. I mean, he might be a great company, but he's not the one I'd like to go out with. Regardless, the guy I'm into doesn't want anything serious with me.
:(

>>17820854

Then ask her out, you seem to be in good track. I'd still wait until after the break, though. 10 hours is a long travel time.

>>17820835
A nice tiara, a nice anklet, well taken care of nails/toenails.
One day, a 30 something girl showed up to her workplace with this really princess tiara. I thought it was SUPER cute. But I never told her anything, because of the fear of getting called creep.

>>17820853
>Sometimes /adv/ tells you to ask everyone out, sometimes it tells you not to. ;_;

Personally, I always say "Don't" when it comes to strangers or people at their job. Specially when it's strangers at their job.

>Although I think most people see me as inoffensive.

Yeah, don't assume. Weirdos don't always look like weirdos. So most people don't risk it and just say no.

>>17820775
do you think she might be into me? or should i just not ask her out and then be depressed about it for a few months.

>>17820865
what about ask her if she wants to get dinner to celebrate the end of finals, but don't mention anything about it being a date?
would that be okay before break?

>>17820878
>would that be okay before break?

It depends on each person. But general vibe: IF you are gonna spend a lot of time apart, it's better to wait. Else, even if it goes well, you'll just lose everything in the intervening time.

Hey, maybe you can make it work. But realize you are taking a big risk.

>>17820888
why does the losing everything not apply to doing nothing?

>>17820892

You go out, you have fun, you build something beyond friendship. Then you don't see each other for a while. Things cool off and maybe you (or her) are not so into it when break is over. Also, you have waited 4 months. Is a few more weeks that much more to wait?

In the end, it's your choice. I'm just saying what I'd do.

reply to this comment with:

>sex
>rather be: submissive/dominant
>age


just out of my own curiosity. ive always suspected that like 9/10 women are submissive.

>>17820711
Ok, in my case it was just i wanted to know what he was up to since he hadnt messaged me much and last night he said he was partying w his friends. Kinda just wanted to know if he was gonna come home tonight or tomorrow night. Then he didnt reply so that got me annoyed desu.

>>17820864
If you want something substantial and he doesn't, it really just leaves you with two options. Either leave, or learn to be happy with the scraps you get. I would never suggest someone to settle for the latter.

I wouldn't suggest going out with that new guy when you're not really that interested in spending time with him but rather to just end things and focus on yourself for a bit.

>>17820853
>Sometimes /adv/ tells you to ask everyone out, sometimes it tells you not to. ;_;
A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if they're obligated to pretend to be nice imo. e.g. there's this waitress I thought that was really cute and while I'd be completely fine with a firm no, I don't think it would be fair to put her on the spot like that.

Girls

What do you like the most, boobs or ass?

Guys and girls

I'm going with my mother to visit some family I haven't seen in years this week. I fucking KNOW that they are going to ask me "so do you have a girlfriend?" And when I say no, it's going to be a "why not? You need to go find a nice girl, you're next to get married!" Bullshit. I fucking hate when I get in these situations. It's always awkward as fuck because I'm 25 and never ever had a girlfriend or taken a girl home before. I don't even feel comfortable talking about any of this shit, I've never ever even talked with my mom about this bullshit.

What can I say to make things less awkward and also end this topic quickly?

>>17820902
That's correct.

>>17820847
Who pissed in your cornflakes?

>>17820966
I always say "no", when they ask "why not?" I say "because I havent met anyone good enough for me". Seems to make people think you are just rational instead of rushing.

>>17820877
plz respond

>>17820962
On myself? Probably boobs, though my ass isn't exactly bad either. On other girls? Don't really care, I'm straight.

>>17820966
Just say "I'm happy where I am in life, thanks. It'll happen when it happens"

>>17820990
>>17820997

I should have mentioned in my first post- I never want to get married. and I'm pretty bitter when it comes to girls, just I don't express it

>>17821003
That doesn't change my answer, just tell them you're happy as you are right now.

>>17821006

Yeah I guess you're right

Question for normies of both genders, but girls especially:

How often do you check your phone and respond to texts/facebook/kik messages? I'm a pretty punctual person, so I feel like I'm in the minority as I respond to any messages I get as soon as I see them, usually within a minute or two of them being sent. Even at work it's not hard to find 5-10 seconds to shoot off a response or something.

It just seems like whenever I talk to people electronically, I'm the one left waiting.

>>17821049
I have a life. Sometimes I'm busy, other times I'm not. There is no 'standard' amount of time between when I check my phone. If I see I have a text, I reply unless I'm busy, but I don't sit around thinking "shit, it's been 10 minutes since I last checked my phone, better see if I have any messages"

>>17821049

Guy here

I usually respond within 5 min or receiving the text. However there are times when I'm busy and I'll go hours.

for you ladies and boys who met someone in a bar
how the fuck did you do it?, when im in the bar drinking with my friends the idea of talking to a random person and maybe getting laid seems alien to me, maybe i just dont have the confidence to do it.

>>17821064
Are you comfortable starting conversation with someone in a less pressured environment?

>>17820468
>I'm pretty bad at finding the clit

There really aren't that many candidate locations, anon.

Especially on the same woman.

> Why can't you find my clit, anon? I've been dropping hints that I put it behind my ear this whole week!

Girls and guys:
Are any of these serious reasons to break off a relationship?
>younger than me (I'm 18) and has had older sexual partners without protection
>says she loves me within 1 month of dating
>talks and acts like white trash at times
>I'm a virgin and have always wanted to share the experience of losing it with someone else and it's making me crazy and judgmental

>>17821150
No, but the fact that you're looking for reasons to break it off is.

>I'm a virgin and have always wanted to share the experience of losing it with someone else and it's making me crazy and judgmental
Better fucking hurry then, if you're 18, the clock is ticking, odds are you've already missed the boat. Also, it's not as big a deal as you think it is.

>>17821150

>>talks and acts like white trash at times

that is absolutely worth breaking off

>>17820804

Dude there is literally another argument going on in this same thread because femanons are saying they ONLY date strangers. Like multiple people claiming to be girls are claiming that they don't date a dude unless he is new to their life. Not dating pre-existing connections is also the reason a lot of dudes compain about how hard it is to get out of the friendzone.

I'm not necessarily saying that YOU are wrong but both of you can't be right.

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Why does sex have to be so "normal and casual"...

>>17821168
It doesn't have to be. But if you insist on doing otherwise, you probably won't be having much.

Girls

What's a greenflag for a guy in your eyes?

>>17820835

Wearing a belt. No joke, wearing a nice belt puts both pants and dresses over the top into "looking sharp" territory. Obviously the belt has to compliment the outfit (no yoga pants, por favor) but something without garish rhinestones or glitter has a 90% chance of enhancing the look.

Very few girls know to do this but the ones that do look great.

>>17821173
What do you define a greenflag to be?

>>17821176
>tfw I have no choice but to wear a belt otherwise my pants fall down

>>17819851
/pol/, /co/, /wsg/, /lit/, and /gif/

>>17821172

what do you mean? It definitely is considered normal.

If they say most people have had sex before they are 18 years old. Then that makes it normal

>>17821214
"it doesn't have to be" = it is, but doesn't have to be. I'm saying if he doesn't want to treat it as "normal or casual", he doesn't have to. But that doesn't change facts.

>>17821218

Society makes it normal. So if you don't go with the flow- such as by not having sex. Then you are weird

>>17821223
You have the reading comprehension of a four year old.

>>17821228

niggers..... :/

>>17821237
Thanks for proving my point.

>>17821241

Should I kill myself? I have the ability to

How do I deal with/explain to my female friend that I want to start hanging out less because I'm starting to catch feelings?

Should I just be that blunt and straight forward? I feel that would burn bridges, which I'm not trying to do.

>>17821250

How often do you guys hang out?

If it's literally every day then it will be noticable if you try to cut back without saying anything. If it's less common, you can just cut back with valid (true) excuses without creating unnecessary drama. If/when it's noticed you can just emphasize the positives and tell her that it's just other things getting in the way.

Eventually it will pass.

>>17821264
We hang out very often

Alright, so I've been working with this girl for a while now that I've been interested in, and she has a boyfriend. But she constantly blushes around me, rubs up against me, and is always asking me personal questions because she says she wants to get to know me. I'm pretty sure she likes me, but I don't know if I she would leave her boyfriend for me, cuz I definitely won't cuck him behind his back. Should I just ask her out anyways?

Girls

If you were very extroverted, how would you feel about dating a guy who was introverted?

>>17821283
I wouldn't say I'm very extroverted, or even really extroverted, but I think I'd have a hard time dating someone who was so introverted to the point where it was a fundamental part of his personality.

>>17819944
Don't worry man, you aren't the only one. I have a chick I've liked for a decade and I've watched her move through half a dozen different dudes. I probably wouldn't date her now even if I had the chance.

>>17821295
Well its not that I don't like going out. I just don't mind staying in?

I can do trips to anywhere but places like clubs and bars kinda make me uncomfortable.

>>17820708
projecting harder than a drive-in movie theatre
>>17820835
taking the time to wear actual pants rather than yoga pants
>>17820902
hot girls are shit in bed because they've never needed to work at it
>>17820966
you could just lie, say you have an online/long distance relationship and never go deeper than that
>>17821150
1 month is pretty early, the white trash thing and older partners are kind of deal breakers

Girls:

Especially those who hang around with guys more than girls. what do you do when they start falling in love with you. how do you deal with this shit. recently got in a situation where our friendship has been strained because of that.

>guy friends falls in love with said girl
>everyone in the group knows it
>one is beta keeping his feelings locked up, >one is courting her.
>girl obviously doesn't want a relationship with them
>she acts like everything's the same
>no advances made by the guys but friendship is falling apart
>guys give up and moves on.
>group not the same anymore an air of awkwardness is present when together
>eventually they leave the group and start anew
>love fucked them up
>nothing i can do but watch and see what happens next.

I really feel bad for my bro's they don't deserve this. as for the girl i understand she doesn't want a relationship right now. but she could have at least address this situation instead of avoiding it. everyone has changed significantly. what's worse is I was in a conflicted stance as I decided not to help any of them and watch everything unfold.

>>17821308
That's not being introverted

>>17821334
She's not responsible for his feelings. She is under no obligation to 'address' anything.

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Gonna see Spirited Away in theaters for a first date with grill (her idea), but I wanna do something fun before that to get to know each other better.

Long story, but she's bringing me some ice cream from her work so no ice cream. The movie is long so I rather it not be a longish activity like bowling or minigolf where you can't just walk away from whenever. Pool maybe? ? Don't wanna do something generic like dinner cause then dinner and a movie. Halp! Thanks

cat unrelated

>>17821359
Take her to a bar lol. But ask first

>>17821366
Neither of us drink.

>>17820703
If you don't want to seem pushy, I'd say that the best thing you can do is make it about the drinks, not the text. When you see him next, try to set a concrete date ("Hey, how's your schedule look this week? Wanna grab that drink on Friday?"). That way, you're not risking any weirdness by specifically bringing up the texting thing, you're just trying to iron out your plans.

>>17821359
play video games together.

>>17821247
Don't kill yourself over an exchange you made on the internet. That'd be petty as fuck. If you want to reserve sex as a special thing, you can do that. You may not have it incredibly often, but that's not necessarily a problem if you enjoy it enough when you do. There are still a lot of people who respect sex as a highly intimate exchange. Sometimes they're just not that easy to find.

>>17819750
Girls:
is it safe to say a good percentage of you have gotten back together with a guy you've dated for atleast 2 years and left?
Like, have most of you had a second relationship with that person that mightve even been successful?

>>17821516
I know absolutely no one who has got back together with their ex. Why in the world would you think most girls do?

>Girl tells me she really wants to go on another date
>Tells me she can't right now because she is too busy but she can go in 2 months
wtf is up with this shit?

at first i thought this was a situation of being ghosted but she explicitely told me she likes me and wants to get to know me but what the fuck should I do?

I mean obviously if someone can't make 1 or 2 hours of free time in 2 months for a coffee for you they aren't the right match for you but still im confused what to do or tell her

>>17821520
Well thats why i asked, i dont know anything about it.
All the people i've been asking have said they've gone through this exact thing, and that they always come back although the relationships weren't successful.

>>17821522
I mean i'm used to getting ghosted and kept telling: "soon, soon yeah someday" and then I immidiately know I got a girl that doesn't want anymore and just keeps ghosting me but this one told me she likes me but is very specific about the 2 month timeframe. She might be a tad autistic too maybe. The thing is this girl is kinda like me with the same interests and all so I wont lie I would be disappointed if i never see her again but then again im also a bit disappointed with myself if I honestly wait for 2 months for someone who cant make a single afternoon free for me, im not a fucking betacuck so im not going to wait 2 months for a date but still wtf should i do/tell her

>>17820966
A friend of mine told his parents he was gay just so they'd stop nagging.

>>17819779
Because they like the idea of being chosen over someone.

>>17819851
/pol/ because i'm shit. /out/ a lot. sometimes /his/ /lit/ and /k/

>>17819854
You're an idiot. Why do all men have casual sex? (yes, all who can, do.)

>>17819944
this happened to me. I was in love with him for three years, I still get the urge to talk to him constantly. it's hard to get the idea of them being perfect out of your head and makes you feel crazy, i know. just separate entirely from everyone involved.

>>17820248
untrue, I've never noticed this in myself or any female friends

>>17820357
obviously.

>>17820365
depends if they're the type of guy who would be trying to fuck/seduce all of the them.

>>17821049
I don't have/use facebook or kik, but when it comes to texts or email it varies. I don't actively check for messages. I usually reply whenever i happen to notice, if i'm not doing something else.

If it was urgent, they'd call.

Girls..
how would you react if you discovered your boyfriend enjoys reading lolicon hentai?
how you rather be red pilled about it or live in ignorance of his guilty pleasure?

test

>>17821547
Break up with him while laughing in hysteria, then probably tell all his friends

So after two months of back and forth with this girl, she came to the conclusion that she isn't in a good part in her life to be in a relationship. Thing is, when I tried to split, she told me that she didn't want me to say goodbye and that she didn't want me to stop talking to her. I think shes cool enough to try to be friends, but the thing is, she makes no effort to talk to me. I'm always the one to say "good morning", she drops conversations, and i'll be the one saying goodnight after she goes 8 hours without talking to me in an endless cycle of trying to conversate with her.

My question is, whats the deal? What do I do? I feel like I could just stop texting her altogether, and she wouldn't notice or care.

>>17821559
good thing I don't have friends then.

Girls, how weird/creepy is to get a random friend frequest of a guy?

I mean, there's a girl in one of my classes that I really fancy. We're pretty friendly and we speak everyday we share that class. But we haven't shared any social network yet.

While drunk last night I searched for her and added her. Idk if I fucked up in any way

>>17821584
If you've talked to her and she knows you exist, there's no problem.

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Ladies: What's it like being taken clothes shopping? I'm no nu-male, just an STEM autist that decided one day that I should dress myself proper. I mainly shop at Uniqlo if that gives some sort of perspective.

is 5.9"-6" good?

>>17821049
Anything from a minute to 10 hours.
I don't check my phone all the time, especially if I'm busy. As soon as I notice, I reply.

So I like this girl and I asked my two female friends if I should ask her out on a date or not and they told me to wait a bit, but they also suggested I ask her to hang out next week during finals week since she is free?

What the hell is the difference? Either way we are gonna hang out and talk?

Also, I'm considering it but I wouldn't know what to do exactly. Me and her don't really have finals. If we were on a date though, I'd have an idea where to go.

>>17821049
The biggest lie you will ever hear is "i have a life, so i get to it when I get to it"

If chadding tadum was texting up a girl she'd be fucking glued to that thing.

Ladies: I'm the kind of person that cleans their things better than a hospital does, but I'm also the kind of person that leaves clothes on the floor all over. How would you feel about this?

>>17821706
Can I pretend to be a lady and answer?

My answer as a lady: I'd be like OHHH you rascal anon! What an odd juxtaposition, the irony of you being a clean freak yet being messy! The duality of man I guess, oh men, what would you do without us ladies

>>17821706
You sound exhausting

>>17821716
Explain please.

I want to reach out to a girl i have dated for two weeks or so after she wanted more than a casual relationship. This happened four weeks ago.
I think i have made a mistake and i wouldnt mind getting back with her. Is ita good idea to reach out to her? How are the chances she reacts positive?

>>17821732
How does that need an explanation? On one had, you'd be incredibly anal about things being germ-free, but on the other, you'd also leave a mess everywhere.

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How do I get my deaf ex girlfriend back? She's dating someone else.

At the moment I'm going hard in the gym to show her what she's missing.

>>17821762
Sadly or gladly never probably. You split up for a good reason, and you wont have a future with her either way.
Work on yourself, try to forget her and move on.

>>17821785
>You split up for a good reason,
Christ, way to assume a bunch of shit you couldn't possibly know.
>you wont have a future with her either way.
Ok, you're straight up fucking retarded.

My parents were together for a couple years until my dad left my mom for a crush. A year later he realized he just wanted her because he couldn't have her and he made a terrible mistake. My mom and dad got back together and have been married happily for 45 years now.

Sometimes people get scared and make stupid mistakes. That doesn't mean the relationship split for "a good reason" and "you won't have a future" with the person.

(I'm not the guy you replied to but seeing posts like yours... :/ )

Can't stop thinking and masturbating to my ex. Especially when she starts talking to other guys. How do I stop?

I may just post my own thread on this as it's just general relationship advice (though I would appreciate more female responses), but lets see how this goes:

I've been in a relationship for over 1 1/2 years now, and 3 months ago it became slightly long-distance when she had to transfer to a University 5 hours away. Its been really tough, almost broke up a few times, but for over a month now we've both gotten used to the long-distance thing and are happy. Only problem is with my girlfriend gone I think I'm developing a crush for one of my friends. They're both very similar in personality and body type, but if I'm being completely objective here, I share way more hobbies with this other girl than I do with my girlfriend.

A long time ago my girlfriend warned me that something like this would happen, since shes only my second girlfriend and the person who took my virginity; she said that down the line I would eventually want to be with other women and that if we got married I would regret not experimenting more. I don't want to say she's right, but I feel like a piece of shit...thoughts? Is this common and I'm blowing it out of proportion?

>>17821807
Not the guy you're responding to either, but whether he believes what he said or not, it's still good advice.

You're describing a very rare occurance. Most of the time when you're hung up on an ex (especially one who's with someone else) it's healthier to just fucking leave it and move on. You're telling this dude to stay fixated on someone who's with someone else, because your dad wanted to fuck another women then come back to your mom, what shit advice.

Guys:

Why do some of you lie or joke about cheating on people? Is it an insecurity thing? My exes all liked to joke about banging my sister, or cheating in general just to make me upset. I really want to understand it, and preferably figure out how to avoid it.

i have a question for the girls.
So this girl calls me and asks me on a date.
We go to the theater and i pay for both tickets and buy popcorn.
We go into the movie and she playfully throws popcorn at me and i nudge her back to stop doing it.
We watched the movie allied.
The ending was very sad.
So later she goes to the bathroom and i go to the bathroom too.
When i come out she's already walking away.
She starts running away and i ask her why she's running she doesn't answer.
So in conclusion i want to know why would she just run away?
It seems strange.

>>17821853
Lying? Definitely insecurity. Joking? Nah, it's just guy humor. Also most guys for whatever reason never really grow out of the "flirt by teasing" thing, which includes joking about banging other girls to your girlfriend.

I do it to my girl all the time, I know not to talk about her sister because that's kind of a sensitive line that guys shouldn't cross, but its gotten to the point where she does the same jokes to me, like after watching deadpool she'd tease me like "you know if you were more attractive you'd look like ryan reynolds". It's all just joking. Childish joking, but joking. Avoid it by being upfront and telling them you're not down with jokes like that and leave them if they don't get it. Plenty of guys don't do that stuff.

>>17821822
stop being a cuckold i guess

>>17821567
try to get in contact with her in person and discuss the issue
if that helps

>>17821835
>You're telling this dude to stay fixated on someone who's with someone els
That's not what I'm saying at all.

I'm saying we don't have enough info to say anything at all. I used an example to prove that. With what we know it could literally go either way.

So way to show how fucking stupid you are dipshit. Use your brain next time.

>>17821923
But if someone shows fixation on an ex who is with someone else, they should probably be told that they should move on. And believe it or not, but the vast majority of relationships end for a good reason.

Like, if someone ever divorced me to fuck other men, that would fall into the "split up for a good reason" category, and I sure wouldn't take them back.

Man here

I'm afraid of rejection and humiliation, and because of those, I fear I might make a seen if I ask a girl out on a date, and I'm more sensitive emotionally than the average person too so it's one of the reasons I'm a paranoid piece of shit.

>>17821864
anybody got an answer?

>>17819851
/cgl/. That's like my main board (and also the only board with a whopping 80% female population according to one of the surveys they did there). Whenever I'm bored of /cgl/, I visit /jp/, /int/, and this board.

I was laying in bed with my boyfriend this morning and he started kissing me. This soon developed and he started touching me all over - I could tell he was extremely hard and the whole thing was very erotic.

Out of nowhere, he stops and says he has this horrible feeling in his gut, like the kind you get when you find out something disappointing. He said he couldn't continue after that and I said it was fine, before giving him a big hug.

He has had a bit of an issue recently, as he has stopped taking Valium, which is causing him a bit of anxiety. Generally this has caused a bit of a dip in the amount we have sex, but has never hit him during the process.

Can any guys shed any light on this?

What the fuck?

>>17822115
Sounds really weird. I suspect that you must have done something in her eyes to make it a bad date, and she was just trying to leave without finishing it. Either way, she sounds like a bit of a bitch, you shouldn't do that to people. Move on and don't let it get you down,

>>17821989
What kind of a scene?
Try seeing a therapist or something. I don't know if that's a male/female issue.

Why do females hug almost anyone? Never understood that.

>>17822188
tbqh as a female I don't understand it either.

Girls,
What would make you forgive a male friend who made you cry and feel like shit?

Some context: I have quite serious family issues which I couldn't cope with at first (now I'm handling them, fwiw).
I kept pressuring her for help which she honestly couldn't provide, and blame her for not doing anything for me. I went way too far a few times.
I apologized like a gazillion time, but still she refuses almost any contact. She confessed I was her best and only friend, and that she misses the times when we were friends, so I know not everything is lost. But still, what do next?

>>17822192
Are you one of them?

My ex would constantly ask me "Are you only with me because you couldn't get anyone better? Anyone prettier?"

How the fuck am I to answer that question?

If I told her the truth "What? No. I could get literal fucking models. You know this. (what I do for a living is very much related to beautiful women. Also, many great deal of people, especially college aged girls, look up to me). You're the most beautiful women in the world. I love you with all my heart and I'm with you because I choose to be with you. Because I love you."

She get's pissed off and says I'm always rubbing it in her face beautiful women want me.

If I tell her "Yup. You're the best I could get.Ugly whore."

I'm sure she would have gotten equally as pissed.

How the fuck do you deal with women? How is this... ok at all...

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Man here:

My gf's unable to get an orgasm, and it's starting to become a problem. She has told me that she has never had one, not solo or with me. I'm her first partner, so there are no exs or anything like that.

I've tried pretty much everything in my power to maximize her pleasure, since pleasuring me isn't that big of a deal. I've tried to focus on her during the foreplay with my fingers. During the act itself I try to focus on the positions that maximize her pleasure (the ones where my dick hits the right spots). She's not really flexible, so some positions are out of the question.

She doesn't want to instruct me or tell me what feels good. She tells me it feels wrong and ruins the mood, but it also feels strange to talk about sex outside of sex. I even asked her to guide my hand, if she doesn't want to tell me those things, but that too feels weird to her. This is also a big problem, since I might be doing something she doesn't like that much and ends up telling me about it during a fight after like 2 months of me doing it (just an example).

She has gotten pretty god damn close few times. 1 time when she was on top, few times from missionary and once from doggy style. The downside of those was that all the acts had already taken like 30-40 minutes and no matter what we did, she never actually reached the climax. Lucky for her, I can last a loooooong time if needed.

She doesn't like oral and doesn't want to give or receive it. She liked the idea about toys, but then had second thoughts when I actually bought a bullet vibrator to use during sex. After that she has said that she doesn't want to use the vibrator.

I'm 17cm in length and 13,5cm in girth, so my dick-size shouldn't be the problem either.

So what the fuck do I do? Sex feels just off, when only I'm enjoying it and having an orgasm. Sure, she enjoys the sex, but she never gets an orgasm, never ever. When I asked her about it, she told me that yes, it is bothering her.

>>17822200
You stop trying to deal with her emotional bullshit and just bypass the question.
It's a shit test she isn't looking for real answer.

>>17822201
Do you understand what a clit is

>>17822200
Don't date blocks of insecurity.

Or if you're stuck with that just don't acknowledge the question.
I do this a lot with girls. When she shittests me. I pretend i didn't process the question.
Example:
Watching TV:
Do you think I'm pretty Anon?
Glare at the TV for a while and than say what I wasn't listening.
If she asks again just srug it off like sure. Give it no more attention after that.
Girls do this stuff to get attention and if you fall in to the trap they do it all the time with more and more complex questions.

>>17822200
It's just provocation to get more attention from you. There is a deeper issue that she can't articulate so she does this kind shit.
Just my 2c, I'm a male who was in the same situation a few times.

>>17822201
Play with her clit you gigantic retard. Also, if you're gonna finger her, do it like pic related, and feel around for a spot that feels spongier than normal. Focus on that area.

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>>17822211
fuck, captcha ate my pic

>>17822201
If your opinion of her is that low you shouldn't have been with her. Sounds like being with you was like being with an especially emotionally unavailable rock.

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>>17822201
Hope this helps.

>>17822213
Meant for>>17822200

>>17822188
I just like hugs. They feel good, they're good for you, and they make people happy. They aren't meant to be sexual or anything.

I don't mind if my date doesn't have a job, I really don't.

But what if I don't have a job?

How many girls would date a jobless man?

Then again I AM in sickleave so I don't know if it technically counts as a jobless person, and where I live it's practically mandatory to have a job.

>>17822224
I know they're not supposed to be sexual or anything that serious, but aren't hugs something special, ergo, not meant to be given to literally almost anyone?

>>17822229
I wouldn't date a guy who isn't financially independent if he's not studying.
Other than that, I don't care.

What are the differences between a whore, a slut, a hooker, an escort, a fuckbody, and FWB?

>>17822232
To me hugs aren't something sacred that I have to reserve for the most special people in my life. It's just a way for me to share my happiness with people I guess.

>>17822236
Oh, okay then.

>>17822214
what should I rub heir inner thighs with? Hands or mouth (as in kissing)? With how much pressure?

>>17822234
>whore
someone you pay for sex, biblical terminology

>slut
someone who sleeps around a lot

>hooker
Someone you pay for sex, modern terminology

>Escort
Upscale, more expensive person you pay for sex. When they're dead, they become hookers.

>Fuckbuddy/FWB
Same thing, more or less. A friend you fuck, without an official relationship.

got lunch with a girl i'm interested in yesterday, and she dressed nicer than she normally does for class
this is a good sign, right?

>>17822242
>FWB
>A friend you fuck

Do people really do this commonly?

If so, how does it happen?

yes I really wanna know for extremely super obvious reasons.

>>17822248
Its just casual sex, how old are you? Pick up a chick at a bar, dick her down good, make sure she cums plenty, and she'll probably want to do it again.

>>17822229
It depends on the circumstances. If you've never been able to hold down a a steady job and don't have any future career goals then I probably wouldn't date you. If you were just in a transitional period I wouldn't care.

I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to date a great guy just because his financial situation wasn't perfect because (unless you were born into a rich family or something) we've all been at a point in our lives where we were struggling financially.

>>17822253
>how old are you?

26

>>17822204
>>17822211
Yes, I do understand what a god damn clit is. I'm her first, but she isn't the first one for me. I know how the female anatomy works.

>>17822239
Just experiment and see what works for her. I'm not the person you replied to, but I think her issue isn't one that you can solve. She has to learn to be comfortable with her body and being sexually intimate with someone, and it sounds to me like she hasn't learned to do that yet.

>>17822214
The problem with this is that she doesn't like oral, like I stated. She doesn't like giving it or receiving it.

>>17822258
Well then either you're not doing it correctly or she has anorgasmia. Focus on the clit and try to find that spongy area I was talking about. If you still really can't make it happen, she's probably shit out of luck.

Problem is probably mental, you mentioned she's shy/unwilling to talk about what she likes. If you can't brute force it, she's going to have to get past that. Ask her if she masturbates and what she does, if she does.

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>>17822211
And to this: playing with her clit yield absolutely no results. She says it feels good, but it doesn't feel "orgasm" good. I've tried multiple techniques, altering the phase and so on, nothing does the trick. Hell, I've watched all kinds of god damn "super technique"-videos and read shitloads of a stuff related to this, but nothing helps.

Now she's just saying that she doesn't really enjoy getting fingered that much. She says it's a nice foreplay, but it doesn't feel THAT good. Since oral and toys are out of the question, I'm starting to run out of options.

She enjoys the sex otherwise and makes moves to get it. So it's not just one-sided, since she also does initiatives as much as I do, it's pretty 50-50 for us.

>>17822259
I'm not the guy with the long post either, just curious.

>>17822266
I'm pretty sure, that the problem is indeed mental, not physiological. She's super shy, and even after 2 years into our relationship she's super insecure about her body, vagina and all that. I've tried to make her feel good, since I god damn love her and her body.

The problem is opening these mental barriers. I know she really wants to have an orgasm and enjoy our sex even more, and I too want her to have those things.

I wouldn't have any problems with it, even if some of our acts formed around "teaching each other" without the act itself. It would do so much good to just actually get to know each other's bodies and preferences. I'm the only one who actually says what I like and how do I like it. Or at least if she could talk to me about these things outside of sex.

>>17822284
How is the relationship itself? Her inability to open up sexually might be stemming from a problem in the relationship.

>>17822293
The relationship itself is stable. We trust each other, we actually have a future together as a couple and everything else is great.

The problem with her not being able to open up about her problems has been a problem since the beginning, that's a fact. Normally she opens up about the problems during fights, that start from small arguments. She may have had something hidden inside of her for MONTHS and then I get to her about it during a fight.

So yeah, that reflects to sex. I've tried to talk her about this, since it's not good for her to hide everything under her skin, without any improvements. She just feels like she doesn't want to ruin the good mood with negative things, and that's the case with sex or just with being together.

>>17822315
Oh yeah, and these problems pile up for those months. Then they just reach the critical mass and erupt all at the same time, and this is normally set in motion by something as stupid as a small argument about some nonsense.

>>17822201
get her a vibrator for her clit, let her hold it up against it, meanwhile you can finger her or play w her boobs or whatever. Most girls can't cum from penetration so, it's not that weird.

But nvm I read she's shy, make her touch herself at home first and experiment like that, it's more relaxing for her at least. I mean she might not want to do it but if she wants to learn how to orgasm it's actually kinda important that she tries it herself.

>>17822342
Already got her a vibrator. After I got it, she had these second-thoughts and said that no, she doesn't want to use one.

She said she doesn't masturbate much, and when she does, she never has an orgasm. I tried asking her that what does she like to do, when she's masturbating, but the reply was something like "It's hard to describe or show."

>>17822202
Well.. we currently aren't together but I have a feeling we will be again soon. Within the month.

How do I bypass a question like that? Even if I don't get back with her, the 2 girls I was with before her did the same thing.
>>17822207
Anon... she's a woman. All women are blocks of insecurity.

What... what happens if she get's angry for you ignoring her? I'm being serious. I'm 30 years old and I have dealt with all kinds of crazy ass bitches but I seriously don't know how to avoid this shit.

>>17822210
The deeper issue thing... yes.

She is insanely insecure. She is almost 30 and that is tearing her apart. Shes incredibly beautiful. Like HOLY SHIT is she the most beautiful woman in the world. I gave her far more love and affection than I should have and nothing works... because she never believes me.

Its one of those "She has to fix herself" things.. isn't it?

How do I help a girl like this though? How do you handle someone as they try to fix themselves?

>>17822213
You might be dumb but... maybe you're just having an off day.

how is
>You're the most beautiful women in the world. I love you with all my heart and I'm with you because I choose to be with you. Because I love you."
bad at all?

The other part was clearly in the "say something ridiculous to point out the absurdity of the question" answer.

Im about to finish college and wanted to try dating, I know nothing about it so bare with my ignorance.

Im getting a degree with zero women in it, so the opportunities to talk to girls are limited. Some classes have no girls, some have at most 2. Plus I commute to school, because my parents won't pay for it even though we are rather well off.

I always see my race in interracial dating scene and it makes me feel bad about myself. I was sitting in class one day zoned out looking at my skin and I just felt disgusting.

Now I have above average looks and Im fit, but Im white. My family believes in eating healthy foods and exercise. So my parents got my gym membership when I was in HS and they buy me healthy food.


Could someone inform me on what races/types of girls would be interested in someone like me. I know don't want to go into like being blind folded throwing darts hoping to hit bulls eye, that's not how I do things in life. I need some sort of strategy or at the very least a starting point.

>Please don't respond w/ go for the ones you like or any, thats throwing darts blind folded.

Thanks, I honestly can't figure this out and google is no help. On the surface this seems rather simple, I assumed Id figure out the answer quickly with google. Shits all over the place though, did not help at all.

>>17822448
The STEM autism is strong here.

Girls:

Is it normal to not want to date someone unless everything is perfect? I mean things like my financial stability, my own mental health, if our plans for our futures/careers line up, and so on?

I don't want to be a burden to the girl I love, so I'm always waiting until I'm "adequate." Years keep going by and new problems keep popping up, and it certainly feels like I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

>>17822453
that's not nice lol, Im not autistic though. There are a number of people who are in this degree.
I've seen a kid wearing fedora too, not as a joke he wore it like every day.

>>17822454
I'm like this, but I'm pretty sure it's neurosis of my part.

What are some good rules when it comes to texting in a new relationship?

I want to start talking to and maybe ask out a girl that I have a small class with.
Problem is I already did the same with another girl in the same class and got rejected which was a little embarrassing.
Do you think it'd make the next girl feel like a second choice or find me less attractive?
Its been a month or so and me and the first gal are just friends who sit together and talk during class.

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>>17819868
Welp, she's ignoring me. Fucking hell, that was one of the better dates I'd ever been on. I thought it was going great, we had the same ridiculously obscure interests and laughed at each other's anecdotes/stories.

Ah well. Guess I got a free meal out of it.

>>17819851
/vp/, /hm/ (eheuhue), /adv/, /r9k/, and /co/

>>17819851
/lit/ (I love books, but its so slow)
/his/
/mu/
/pol/ Mostly out of curiosity.
/r9k/ when I need a laugh with a hint of Schadenfreude
/lgbt/
/adv/ -sometimes.

>>17823134
>/lit/
Do you shitpost about Nietzsche?