Is it worth settling for a single mom??

Depends. After all, you will have a talking souvenir of her ex for the rest of your life.

Depends on her as a person, how she handles the situation and what you define as "settling".
I'm a singlemom myself and about to get married. Ask away if you have any questions

no

the kid as it grows will start to accuse you of shit like

>you cant tell me what to do! your not my real father

and you cant smack it cause in the case of single mothers the kid is always right

the hierarchy of caring for a single mother is thusly

1. the kid
2. her parents
3. her friends
4. any pets she has
5. you
6. but close to being switched with 6 is a complete stranger


fuck that shit. Get a new car not a used one

>>17818687
We need more information, anon. Your age, her age, the number of kids and their age. How you met her, what does she think, etc.
We need the whole thing to give advice. Start writing.

I'd never, ever, ever. Especially if not a widow.

Single mom is a huge red flag, beside that you become cuck provider for someone else's kid. Someone else's kid will be always put before you by her. This kid might hate you as well.
She's alone with a kid for some reason, and these reasons are huge red flags as well.
You can just keep her for sex but never commit to a woman hitting the wall after her cock carousel ended, on top of that, with someone's kid.

>>17818709
I am just asking in general,
I am not having much luck with the ladies, but ive gotten some matches with single moms on tinder

>>17818710

agree completely with this

the kid can get away with murder but you cant do shit

but you are expected to raise the parasite when the real Dad ran most likely

the real problem however is the work/reward ratio

single moms usually think their shit is hot for some reason. They dont realize that they just bumped themselves down a whole 3 or 4 knotches in the attractive to males scale

>>17818714
Then it's not worth it, plain and simple. You could have more, so strive to have more.

>>17818714
For quick fuck, yes. If they want any more than just the dick then don't do it. It's gonna be shit for you and just leave her feeling sad and jaded when she eventually realises that men just spend time with her to access dat pussy nectar.

>>17818687
It is never worth "settling" for anyone or anything.

But if you find a woman you love, and you wouldn't hesitate if she didn't have the child, then the child should not be a major obstacle.

The fact that it is, and that language like "settle for" suggests that you think of the mother as inferior or damaged goods, is at least a warning flag - not that she isn't good enough for you, but that you are not committed enough to be worthy of her.

>>17818687
I'm a single mother and don't like the thought that someone would settle for me. I've fallen in live for the first time in years. Doesn't mean I would expect them to settle if they didn't feel the same about me. My child has a dad. They don't need a new one. A role model as a step parent is not necessarily problematic. Dad has a partner too. It's fine.

>>17818687
If you can handle being the least important person in her life and having half of a regular relationship with her. See, I thought I could. And I did, for the most part. But then she crushed my heart. It wasn't even about me not loving her son or anything. Perhaps you could have a better experience than I.

He has a child too. Like me, he shares the role of single parenting with his ex. We're not involved with the ex's, just each other

>>17818787
This. Same story here. Only diff is that i am a singlle dad myself. she never built a relationship with my daughter while i treated her daughter like my own. Only to find out I am way down on her priority list. Fuck that shit.

My son is a priority in my life as a single parent, I know he is a priority in his dad's life too. However my ex and are are not a priority in each other's lives. His gf is a priority over me of course. And I'm in the beginnings of something new, that of course is a priority over ex, and he's my whole world. Doesn't mean I suddenly care less for my son. Romantically, this man has become my priority. He would understand this though, having a child himself, but he's not the assuming type anyway

>>17818687
NOPE. Tried it with two different women and results the same though the father was in the picture for one and absent the other. Still not worth it. You will never be her priority, never. In fact you will be way down the priority list. Every decision big or small will be impacted by things outside your control and you don't get a vote. This includes any current relationship/contact, any past relationship/contact or any future relationship/contact with someone related to the child. We're talking the child's father, the child's fathers family, the mothers family, the mother and fathers friends, the childs teachers or coaches and friends and parents.

Here's a silly little taste of what you can look forward to.

No alone time in over a month, gf gets her friend to babysit child for 4 hrs. 45 minutes in and get a call that friend needs to do whatever so we return to pick up the child, night over. Reschedule, nope, got this or that or this or that so offer my mother for babysitter but the father objects slightly to that so a big NOPE. This is simple shit and could go on for hours.

>>17818855
just hopped in this thread to see whats goin on

i had no idea it was THIS bad. i know general advice around here is dont do it but damn

>>17818687
It made me feel like I was a beta orbiter just giving emotional support to a woman who was still a slave to some scumbag. The sex felt like a transaction for things she wanted from me and I was never a proper priority to her, just a tool. I probably just got unlucky though.

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>>17818855
>We're talking the child's father, the child's fathers family, the mothers family, the mother and fathers friends, the childs teachers or coaches and friends and parents.


fuuuuck

>>17818687
>worth
>settling
You're not ready for any relationship, son.

>>17818708
>you cant tell me what to do! your not my real father
"I am your legal guardian, faggot. Now shut the fuck and do the dishes if you don't want to watch how I do your mother."

>>17818868
Look at this post OP: never, ever do this. If you feel the woman wants something from you, whether financial or emotional support or some other shit, don't start a relationship. I cannot stress this enough, find a girl who actually likes you and is attracted to you, not your wallet.

>>17818864
The problem is not thinking it all the way through. You have sex with them and believe they like you and perhaps they do but the reality is you fill a small role in her life with her child. I understand that and most men do but when you did not contribute DNA you got no say despite what she may say.

You are constantly put in a position to defer. If you want to fuck them and move on then ok but do not expect a partnership. Also know you are not the only guy that has given her a shot and the guys give up and move on.

If she's a good Mum and you want kids, yes. Personally I think a good Mother is a very attractive quality.

>>17819037
She's a single mother not a good one read OPs post

>>17818687
No, that is the duty of the deadbeat father.

>>17818786
Even if you don't like the thought, the fact is you are being settled for. You're less likely to give your new partner children, your previous child is a burden with no genetic payoff for your new partner, and he will be looked down on by some people. Only someone whose spirit is already broken would go for a single mother.

>>17818874
Sorry, not everyone is as alpha as you are or think you are. Most people have to settle in some magnitude or other.

>>17819046
what if the father passed away?

>>17819093
I hate defending people who havent asked for it but what are you talking about? "settling" for someone is a formula for loosing half you property after a pethetic heartbreak after a decade. Not being idealistic just advising OP to use foresight.

>>17818714
These women use Tinder because they have no real options. If they were still young, beautiful and childless they would have more options and they wouldn't want to be with you. In effect, they are settling on you because they fucked up.

Do yourself a favor and improve yourself, increase your attractiveness so you can find a nice beautiful woman to be with. Nobody under 30 should be single with kids, holy shit.

>>17818687
So funny. The guy a single mom really wants and wanted as her childs father already hit it and quit it and guys believe somehow they can take that guys place in her heart? The only times I've heard or seen it work is if the father passed away but then you are fucking a woman that is in love with a ghost. The kids might bond with you as daddy but the woman never will see you for more than a baby sitter that helps with the bills.

>>17819102
My gf's husband died by suicide more than 4 years ago. He is still in her life more than he would have been if he was alive.

I am >>17819227 and I approve this message >>17819137

>>17818687

Only if you're going to seduce the children and turn them into your own personal sex slaves

Read the first half or something of the manwha Seduction sometime. It should be like that except you aren't hating yourself like a retarded drama queen over it.

Stop being a cuck faggot. Guys who date single mothers have the sexual reproductive strategy of cucks because they dont have the sexual reproductive strategy of alpha males or betas.

She can always give the kid back to the fater or adoption.

>>17818687
How many kids, and how old? That's important, as you'll have to help support them.

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>>17818687

>>17819508
they won't do that. they want the leverage the child gives her to keep the father in her life. Remember, she wanted that particular man to father her children

The only acceptable time to settle for a single mother is if she's a widow and you're also a single father/divorced yourself.

If you don't meet these criteria then you're nothing more than a pathetic cuck faggot and a laughingstock who's putting his resources into another man's spawn.

>>17818783
>you think of them as inferior or damaged goods
That's exactly what they are.

>you are not comitted enough to be worthy of her
Nice way to spin it but you're wrong. Men do not want women with kids, especially young women with kids. We don't want to pay for your mistakes and we don't want sloppy seconds. The fact is that most single moms crave attention from men and have lower standards because having a kid makes them less attractive. The pre-child single mother doesn't want anyone but the top shelf guys, and most men don't want to be plan B because you fucked up.

>>17819102
Then it is worth it to settle- for a widow.

The nounal distinction makes a difference.

>>17819541
Yeah no single mom loves her kid. Single Mom's are incapable of love.

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Not all single mom's but some are really sweet. I've dated two and one wasn't there for her child. While the one I'm with loves her daughter to death and she treats me the same. I don't ever feel she puts her son before me in the wrong way.
See this hot girl in the picture. Single mom.
The people bashing single parents either hated there step dad's or probably haven't dated one and like to assume how it is. Only take advice with those who have experienced. Or go experience it for self.
> single mom's need love too

>>17819093
Being with a partner you "settled" for tends to end up in misery for you both in the long run, specially if you go all the way to marriage. You'd be better off staying single.

>>17819637
How old is the daughter?

>>17819648
This, there's nothing more cancerous for a relationship than the feel that one of you 'deserves better', whether true or not.

>>17819637
Dated two and both over 2 years and it is the most god awful relationship and should be avoided at all cost. Didn't learn my lesson with the first one and tried again and impossible. Do not do it OP nor any of you others contemplating it.

So anon does yours have a son or a daughter? How beautiful they are tells you nothing about who they are and many times what got them knocked up and single in the first place.

>>17819637
> single mom's need love too
they have it from their children and get plenty of attention from men but do concede most smart men will not hang around. The father of the child didn't

>>17819739
Why do you act like men never fuck up? If she's not with the father its all the moms fault. >>17819706
daughter she's 5. She's a very sweet girl just like her mom. The father is still in the picture but is married to another women. While they dated he realized he wanted a poly relationship which he now has with his current wife. I'm sure him wanting that was my girlfriends fault right? Shame on her for wanting a mono relationship.

>>17819739
Men don't need love they get it from there mothers

Everyone saying single mothers are trash well that applies to single father's as well. Men are dumb

Single mothers are complete and utter mother fucking subhuman scum 99.9% of the time. If she's not a widow, she's scum. The statistics for kids raised by single mothers shows all manner of dysfunction (poverty, mental illness, crime) for kids raised by single mothers, but not widows. So as far as I'm concerned widows are cool it's not their fault the dad died, they're not making bad decisions but shit happens.

But single mothers - they play the victim angle like a motherfucker and all the SJWs/politically correct bluepillers make the wild fucking assumption that it's not the woman's fault, revoking all agency or blame from the dumb silly bitch who chose to raise a kid alone. But the sheep don't see it like that, they start making all these wild accusations that the father was probably abusive or violent and that's why she raised the kid alone.

It's presumed the mother is a victim of circumstance even though 99% of the time she created the circumstances she's in not only for herself, but for her kid(s.) And it's presumed the father is an asshole, but most the time he was a horny guy begged not to use a condom and told she was on the pill when she wasn't. So she gets pregnant and keeps the kid. Sometimes these guys don't even know they have a kid until they get a child support notice out of thin air. Then the poor guy gets fucking berated for being a deadbeat when all he did was fuck a woman under the presumption it was recreational sex and that no baby would be born.

It's never worth settling. You should never settle.

Single moms are okay though, they're people too. They just happen to have a different kind of baggage.

All these kids saying single mom's are damaged goods etc. are silly and just being kids. Grow up.

I'm currently dating a single mom. She is very attractive though. with a 4 year old boy. She is very good with her son and I'm glad to see she is gonna make a good mom. I'll list the pros and cons
I'll start with cons
> the kid isn't mine
> I fear the kid will be a shit to me
> can't smoke in my house when the kid is here
> have to wait till night for sex
> kid can you stop your fucking tantrum
Pros
> fun times with the kid
> interesting to watch grow
> girlfriend doesn't go out
> girlfriend is more serious about relationship
> cooks often
> I feel just as involved in her life as her kid is
> kid can be funny
Op half these stereo types aren't true. Yes some single mom's suck. Some don't. Go have your own experience. My step mom was really cool and did a lot for me.
If you're double thinking it maybe you should just not.

>>17819802
Way to project.
> 99.9%
According to your statistics? Moron.
You sound like a major cunt who thinks all women are bad because they won't take your virginity.
Don't worry a lot of cucks feel this way

You want to hear a sad story? Well how about a guy who married a beautiful girl. Travelled around the world with her. Built three successful companies and then had two perfect little kids. Then after a twenty year relationship she decides to flirt online with Chad Thundercock and abandons her two little kids and husband to pursue her online affair. Moves in with Chad then tells her family that she left due to "physical and emotional abuse". Claims she is unable to see her kids due to her ex-husbands "abusive nature". Every word of it a lie, she is simply an evil slut who wants to avoid responsibility for her disgusting actions. Her kids ask to spend more time with her but she chooses instead to spend every spare minute with Chad. Then tells her kids she would spend more time with them but "daddy abuses mummy". She is right about daddy abusing her, but only after the event. Daddy calls her out for her evil and correctly labels her a vile degenerate whore.

In my 20s I stayed away from single mums like the plague they were.. Shortly after turning 30 however I started realizing that in the Midwest there really isn't much left within a decade of my age so I figured "why not?", I'll give a single mum a chance.

So, I started dating a chick with a young'un, and she was pretty hot so that probably worked in her favor.. Told her I wasn't gonna play daddy, babysit, or marry her (and I stuck to that).. However, my dumbass did let her move in..

Well, life went to shit pretty quick.. Somehow my crotch rocket ended up collecting dust while my life ended up with me listeing to her yell at her kid on the daily. So I told her to move out, simple enough right?? NOPE, she told me to my face I would have to have her evicted, and we all know how fast living with someone being evicted can go south quick..

Actually took almost two years to finally get that cunt out the door.. I'll go full blown MGTOW before I let another single mum have a key to my fucking house..

>>17819084
Actually he already has a son of his own. I'm not simply "settling" for him either. We're in love

>>17818687
dasadsdsa

I was raised by a single mother. It had a severe and lasting negative impact it had on my brother and myself. One of the traits of single mothers is being a victim, of everything. Throughout our childhoods, our mother blamed everything on everyone else and poured her disappointments and problems onto my brother and myself. She had a reviling disdain of my fathers family, whom she held partially responsible for her divorce (despite that she initiated it). She blamed her children (at ages 8 and 6) for her stress levels at work. She blamed her father for leaving her mother at an early age.

Thank goodness my brother and I were allowed at least a generous 5 day a month access to my father (probably more than some fathers get). Even though I was a thoroughly indoctrinated beta, at least my father was able to give me the positive skill set of thinking critically at a young age.

It's clear that the children being in the custody of the mother is not for the benefit of the children; but for the emotionally feelings of the mother.

>>17819802
Your knowledge is based on memes you found at school? Haha

>>17819931
>It's clear that the children being in the custody of the mother is not for the benefit of the children; but for the emotionally feelings of the mother.
Based on your experience. No need to go from that to all single parents.

>>17819084
Also, I'm not sure why you think having a child means we won't have children together. Not that it matters if we do or not

Btw a bad experience of a single mother or single father, is no justification for blaming and judging people whose situations you individually know nothing about

>>17819920
And you can easily switch those genders. You can't blame a parent for wanting to leave there spouse. Either single mom or dad.
Idiots everywhere

I was raised without ever knowing my father, a perpetual toy held by a mentally ill single mother (Is there any other kind?), who continually got evicted from homes, remarried a massive drug addict, and always lived in constant filth.

Almost the day I turned 18, I left and have spent the past ten years remaking myself into a man.

Having lived in that sort of life, I can't see any positives for letting single mothers have children. It's damaging and they're frequently narcissistic alpha widows.

The moment you take a father away from a child, especially a male child, you've fucked that child up to some extent or another

>>17819961
>I was raised without ever knowing my father,
That's because your father is a piece of shit in one way or another.

You weren't "taken away" he probably just wanted nothing to do with you. But sure, blame your mom who kept you alive.

>>17819961
Sounds like the males fault.

>>17819965
>>17819977

>blame your mom who kept you alive
>Sounds like the males fault
Are you a fucking dumbass? He clearly said she was mentally ill, constantly got evicted, remarried a massive drug addict.

It's not the man's fault she's shitty at choosing men and cannot raise a child. Fuck off with your white knight faggotry.

>>17818687
This thread is ignorant as fuck.
My mother was a single mother and everyone posting here is a fucking retard. I was raised by my step dad. Life is more complicated and intricate and if you can't see the bigger picture I feel sorry for your disgusting uneducated peasant mindset

>>17820155
>Everyone else's examples, experiences and anecdotes because mine are different!

No, YOU are ignorant as fuck.

>>17820140
It's also not his fault that he knocks up some mentally ill chick and doesn't try to get in contact with his son or at least pay child support?

>>17820171
You're just making assumptions about the dad without knowing any better. I'm pretty sure that poster has a better idea of his life situation and parents than you. Stop trying to force-feed your own narrative into the situation so that the mom is absolved of all guilt. It's not going to work.

>>17820178
Maybe the assumptions would stop if men would stop living up to the stereotype.

>>17818708
Your hierarchy is literally the most hilarious thing I've ever read, and I think it's completely fucking accurate

Will never date a mom ever again, period. Will only ever date girls who have never been married and never had kids, while I'm young at least

>>17820178
I make an assumption on the info anon posted.

If he never knew his father, that's 99% down to the father. Even if his mother put a restraining order on him, he'd needed to do something for that.

The only potential option how it's not the fathers fault would be him writing letters but the crazy but hiding them from anon; but in that scenario he could still find out the identity of the father from child support payments later. Assuming these exist of course.

>>17819920
I'm so sorry anon jesus christ

>>17819799
yes, but op isn't asking about dating a single father

>>17820171
These mentally ill chicks are REALLY good at hiding it, even for months on end. When she feels safe and secure with the guy a bit more she lets out all the mental illness she can possible muster, and if the guy is blind he thinks "WTF this is probably just her period whatever I'll forget about it..." but if he's experienced and knows how abusive these women are, he'll think "Damnit, time to find another one" and not give her a second thought. Because that's what he SHOULD do.

But oh, what do you know, she poked a hole in a condom so she can get a consistent cash flow

Women never admit this, society doesn't admit it, but it's true and it's disgusting. There's a reason kids grow up more fucked up from single moms than single dads. Dads are competent human beings more often than women are

>>17818687
That's all I can find to date because I waited to long. I was working full time to put myself through college while they were fucking and popping out kids.
You'll find that they have been married 2-3 times because they are nuts. They try to brainwash you to believe they are the victims. You'll believe this for the first six months and then the devil pops out of the bottle. Try not to love the kids as your own. Just more pain after the break up.
Face reality, the good girls were grabbed up in high school or college.

>>17820249
Great post. Sounds just like a relationship I was in. Suddenly she wanted to pick stupid stuff to start a major fight. I kept forgiving her hoping it would change. I was the abused male. lol I loved her though. Had to realize she wasn't going to change because all she knew was fighting.

>>17820263
All the good attractive ones get taken. The unattractive ones? Not usually the case.

>>17820249
>These mentally ill chicks are REALLY good at hiding it
If they are also psychopaths, who are rare. Otherwise it's pretty obvious even if you're not an expert. Assuming you actually date for longer than a month or two.

>if he's experienced and knows how abusive these women are, he'll think "Damnit, time to find another one" and not give her a second thought
Eh, not necessary. A lot abusive relationshits survive because the victim thinks they can change the abuser.

>she poked a hole in a condom so she can get a consistent cash flow
Again, happens pretty rarely and only from the really cray ones, that are even easier to tell. If he ignores the "don't stick it into crazy" rule ... tough luck.

>There's a reason kids grow up more fucked up from single moms than single dads.
Is there any actual data on this? Although I guess it'd could also be related to dads having a harder time to get custody, so if he DID manage it, he's probably more competent.

>>17820281
I don't know and I'm too high to search and find the data, but I have specifically read statistics on single mom and single dad households in general, and the single moms are always worse

I guess you're right, that's a valid point, only the extra good dads get custody so it's not a completely random sample

But either way it still shows our priorities are wrong favoring the women when they're worse than the competent-enough-to-get-custody dads.

>>17820284
Well, this shit is slowly changing to the better, which will speed up with more positive data about single dads. Blame the gender roles on all this "female = good mother - male = good earner" bullshit.

Why you should never date single mothers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbs4fAv2PT8

>>17820284
Statistics from where? Bull shit statistics. Bad parents are bad parents male or female. Good parents are good parents male or female, use your brain

>>17820569
"The genders are exactly the same at parenting when they're alone" give me a break

>>17818744
Is it fairly easy for a quick fuck? Are there a decent ratio of single moms who just want the occasional fuck?

>>17818687
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I probably will. I'm 26 in two weeks and it's beginning to find halfway decent women around this age group who don't have a kid.

'no'

>>17819637
Son or daughter?

>>17819785
Who told you about the poly thing? The girl, i presume.

>>17820161
No you are desu

>>17818783
This anon, NEVER settle for less