Why yhe hell did I do that?

File: 14925696_1207425585946676_8938397151129051226_n.jpg (41KB, 960x532px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 960x532px

I have no idea why but it seems that when there's a really cute girl that I'm into that asks me out I reject her on the spot without having my say in what I reply. It's like something else inside me takes control and I'm stuck with whatever that thing said.

Here's few examples.

When I was in highschool there's was a girl that I liked a lot. She was the bimbo type, ganguro almost. We were hanging out my friends between classes at the time and we had fun. One day during St-Jean-Basptiste night we had to drink and at one point she sat next to me and asked me what's up. I replied that I was fucking drunk. She asked me if I was drunk enough to fuck. I replied that I'd rather have a kleenex than her. WHAT THE HELL??!?

This summer there was a cute girl working at the corner store that I liked a lot and she seemed to be into me as well, it was quite obvious. One day she said she was going to the big standup comedy show in town and asked me if I was going. I replied NO in an instant. I didn't think it just went out of my mouth like someone else took over. She was very disappointed and tried to convince me to go and I stood with my decision and ran away. When I came back home I went on skype to call trap that did a cam show for me. I have no idea why I did that and there's no way of rationalizing it.

There were other times as well when similar things have happened. Many times where I went to the night club to dance and have a few drinks, I spent sometime dancing really close with cute girls but then I ran away only to find out the next morning that she was looking all over the place to find me.

For the record I'm not gay, just look at my fap folder you'll see. I just wonder what kind of trauma or weird shit makes me either run away or completely ruining my chances like this. Maybe trauma or something I just don't get it. So far I've only settled with ugly bitches that don't even like me. Seems like I have a very distorted vision of love or something.