adderall identity crisis???!?!?!

>>17815487
Two kids go to school. One earns an A, the other earns a C. If the difference is that the child with an A's family is supportive, while the child with a C's family is abusive; did the child with an A earn their A?

People support you for a reason; be that professional, romantic, familial, or platonic. If you don't feel like you've earned the A, at least strive to have earned the support.

>>17815496
That's pretty smart. I'm too wrapped up with what I did/earned/made. But I don't think it's giving my life any value. Maybe looking past the support of others led to my being unsatisfied with my own achievements.

so what does this mean, I am actually a product of my environment? The self made man is never entirely self made?

Now that I read it over, it does seem obvious.

>>17815549
I've been through something similar with ritolin.

>so what does this mean, I am actually a product of my environment? The self made man is never entirely self made?
Not wrong or right. IMO the self made man is somebody who, while a product of his environment, is also capable of shaping himself from it as he needs. Though an opinion is an opinion.

I turned myself into a failure because I had the A kid's support, but was too afraid of success, what would be needed to reach it. Please don't make my mistake.

>>17815570
To add, by that logic I am a failure of my own making. But if I'd followed the steps set out, and support given to me, I'd be a success of someone else's design.

It's hard to say which is better.

>>17815570
>>17815613
Your posts really activated my almonds. I've been mulling something over. I typed something, but deleted it because my neurons were just firing away, and what I wanted to say kept evolving.

I may or may not have some deep ghost-trauma that I unknowingly got from my adderall experience, both in using it and in quitting it.

I insisted that quitting it was for the better by thinking adderall didn't make me act like myself... but at the same time, I tried very hard to reach the euphoric studying mode on my own, without medications.

Shit, I'm fucking dumb. Why did I try to do that and then go on to get depressed about having 'stunted' my studying abilities? I always studied my own way and the euphoria shouldve been relegated to an adderall-only experience.

I believed too much in the power of Muh Mind, I guess. Thinking I could fucking summon amphetamine into my brain out of thin air. I'm not fucking Dr. Strange, I say this now but back then I think I literally had a god complex for believing I could do that.

I have some more almonds to activate. Mainly about how normal studying is, and how it will always be good enough.

Also, I typed something up for you. From reading your posts, it seems to me that you never really failed. You can't choose failure, it's just something that happens despite everything you try when you fought for success. IT seems like something else deeper was bothering you too much to care about succeeding. But this is all rapid premature conjecture. I'd like to hear your real story, ritalin bro.