Follow-up on Cheater and his cucked wifey

>>17811748
I can't really suggest that you stay with this person.

What's to stop him from doing it again?
Why did he even do it in the first place?

Sounds shitty, OP but not as shitty as trying to make a relationship with him work.

>>17811748
There is no reason to stay unless you hate yourself. Jesus christ have some pride and tell him to fuck off.

>>17811794
>There is no reason to stay
It's not that simple.

I'm just trying to be careful. I know the inclination of most girls to rationalize/demonize their partner. I don't like to be considered rash so I'm just trying to weigh my options.

I'm already feeling cringey and disloyal for this thread so I'm just appreciative for some logical reasoning on the issue.

>>17811766
Wtf is the point of aligning houses if something like this in damning beyond all reasoning. Seriously, get me where you are. It's not obvious to all of us.

>>17811805
In that case, we need context.

>>17811809
Context is that "cheating" is almost always about the cucker and not the cucked. I was entirely blindsided by this, although I noticed some distance and a shitty sex life (not for lack of trying). I was ridiculously happy between when the deed took place and when said deed came to light. Reality literally stayed the same, except I was suddenly aware of more information. I don't see how I could possibly be so delusional as to not see something horrifying so I can only come to the conclusion that perhaps the "horrific" nature of said event is societally imposed and not organic?

Still not ruling out my own delusion. Like I said, pretty numb and spinning.

More context: I deferred when he called my career "emasculating" and pulled back on my energy in that area. I'm a pretty high energy individual in general but I'm trying to focus in other areas at the moment. Bottom Line: I now have a degree that I spent 6 figures on and a shit reputation for losing stamina and backing out of certain projects. There are career issues to consider and timing is important regardless of decisions made.

More context: There are younglings involved. There are enough fucked up kids in the world without adding more to the mix.

>>17811807
Not all cheating is equal

Scenario 1:
>Partner away for weeks at a time
>Don't see each other much
>Lonely feels/horny feels
>Sleeps with a work colleague

Scenario 2:
>Partner away for weeks at a time
>Don't see each other much
>Lonely feels/horny feels
>Sleeps with random bar slut

Scenario 3
>In stable relationship
>Goes on dating website/tinder
>Casual sex

Scenario 4
>In stable relationship
>Expecting first child
>Goes on dating website/tinder
>Casual sex

Scenario 6
>Arguing all the time
>No physical intimacy
>Unhappy
>Don't do any shared activities
>Sleeps with someone else

Scenario 7
>Person A has a fetish
>Person B doesn't want to do it
>Person A cheats on B in order to do fetish shit

In each scenario, there has been a betrayal of the relationship. In a stable relationship, most couples expect monogamy. Those that don't tend to talk about this/work it out early.

In certain scanrios, human weakness plays a major role in what is otherwise a difficult situation for the couple (e.g. 1, 2, 6). You can understand that, in the right circumstances of lonliness, vulnarability and stress, two people may sleep together.

However, scenario 3 and 4 are much worse. Here, the cheating partner has gone out of his way in order to find someone for sex. That requires forethought and planning and so the cheating required a more concerted and sustained effort.

4 is worse mainly because of the context

7 is about a lack of respect for boundaries.

Your case is like scenario 3. Your SO has made a sustained effort to find a sexual partner and make a move on them. Thus, this level of cheating is particularly bad.

>>17811897
Missed out 5, I'm tired. Hope you forgive me...

>>17811873
I understand your feeling of "more information", however when I found out my girlfriend was cheating I literally felt sick to my stomach. I was about to throw up. So I wouldn't call it "societal", but if it's not the same for you, good for you.

Why exactly did he come clean? It is a huge risk for him and I see two possible reasons that he could've done it: a) he wants to fix things, or b) he wants to end things. In your opinion, which one is it, and why?

Regardless of his reason, you're left with the same two options. Just continuing like before will not do. Fixing things does not, however, mean giving more things up for him. It means finding his (and maybe your) issues that led to this mess, and fixing those. It means work and counselling.
As a child of a single mother, I would like to urge you to try, but on the other hand, if it doesn't work, better break it up. It's better to have physically seperate parents than to have emotionally seperate parents in the same house.

>>17811897
Probably somewhere between 4 and 7. 7 because I've never gotten an admission of a fetish and you would think after years there would be at least one or two phases, right? Also, card purchases tracked back to a pretty weird fetish site (my card btw.. but ours look alike so idk) and if that's the big secret I do NOT have the right equipment but asked if I could attempt an emulation but he was not interested.

>>17811908 The nausea comes in waves, but the retching subsides as long as I don't think about it.

I'd like to consider the TRP aspect of the thing. Isn't it more disloyal to walk away? Doesn't that just prove AWALT?

>>17811908
>when I found out my girlfriend was cheating
So what did you do? Perhaps biology has something to do with it.

>>17811748

LOL you got absolutely Fucking DOMINATED!

>>17812023
Ok then. I don't see it that way but what you're saying isn't insulting so I'm not sure why you are here.

ok well.. Thank for the help, /adv/. Super productive. Apparently 99% of the population is retarded.

[Please forgive the displaced rage] Cocksuckers, the lot of ya.

Oh yeah I remenber the OP from the other thread, he was quite the asshole really, a reasonable person would just break up with him and be done with it.