How to get over it?

>>17811337
Turn to hanging out and doing stuff with friends more

Take up an activity you love, like a sport or a physical activities

Find other guys

>>17811337
Trust issues aren't the end of the world, they do make things harder though. You'll want somebody with patience. Take your time to vet out guys, separate people who are kind (not "nice") from orbiters.

>>17811381
Best way you can spite somebody like him is by being the best person you can be. They will never have that person.

>>17811381
My trust issues makes it hard for me to find other guys and I'm not a one night stand kind of girl.

I do fun stuff and don't think about it then but before I sleep I just think about it and spin scenarios in my head and literary wanna ruin his life

.>>17811388
Yeah I mean he did cry and wanted me back and now I'm living better than ever and all. I just can't get over the fucking hate.

>>17811394
>I'm not a one night stand kind of girl.
It doesnt have to be. Like just know more as friends, maybe go out, etc. but you don't have to be promiscuous about it

Just in general as >>17811388 said, do things you annoy and make you happy

>>17811394
I don't think acting on those scenarios will give you any real closure. It sounds like you still feel he owes you something, and that the only currency you'll take is pain.

I'm sure you've heard people compare hate and love. It can be a pretentious thing, but they're both obsessive emotions nonetheless.

And there might be something to that obsessiveness, given that the two of you were with each other for a long time. Did you think of him this often while the two of you were still together? Was he a common part of your daily life? You said it happens a lot when you sleep, did the two of you share a bed for a long time?

Maybe you're still in the same patterns of thinking of him, but you can't reconcile with the pain he's caused you. And thus, when something triggers his memory, you can only feel spite in a way that almost seems like obsession.

>>17811451
Yes, we lived together for 4 years. He was my life. My whole life was revolving around him and his needs. So I have soo much of this bitterness in me and I know it's wrong. And I would never really hurt him or anything, but thinking about it brings me pleasure honestly.

Thanks anons, what all of you said did help.

>>17811474
That's unfortunate, but the good thing is that you only have room to grow from here on. It doesn't have to happen again after all, right?

I feel you anyways, my friend's going through something similar. She talked the guy up like he was amazing when we first met. But I realized that she was trying to convince herself that she was a good guy more so than she was trying to convince me. Turned out he beat her, controlled her, and cheated on her. But they're separated now, and she's being strong.