Help me understand loneliness.

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>>17810669
When I did my semester abroad in Tokyo I was pretty lonely the first weeks until I managed to find some qt girls there. I often went to Odaiba around evening and walk along the rainbow bridge (the picture you posted) to see the sunset in Tokyo. Your post reminded me of that. To anyone going to Japan I highly recommend doing that. Takes about one hour but everytime I was alone there, no other tourists or whatever. You can smell the ocean and hear the Tokyo noise from distance.

>>17810708
No offense but I don't give a shit about your stay in Tokyo.

I'm lonely as shit and need a way to cope.

The image is just something I chose to go along with the post. Didn't even realise it was Japan.

I will keep bumping this fucking thread until I find a way to deal with it or until my willpower dries out, whichever comes first.

>>17810820
>No offense but I don't give a shit about your stay in Tokyo.
>I'm lonely as shit and need a way to cope.
Different anon, but it looks like your way of coping is shoving off others who are trying to help, or just have a basic conversation. That's loneliness, pushing off any chance at wanting to talk or be around others for isolation and solitude. It can make you crabby and depressed (or happy if you prefer to be alone).

Read Dostoevsky.

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>>17810669

>>17810820
>lonely guy
> acts like a huge asshole to first post

He was trying to help man. I've been lonely all my life and I can confirm that any angry or resentment towards anyone or anything isn't gonna help you.

>>17810835
I don't know which is better. Maybe we need both - companionship and solitude.

I felt like reacting that way so I just allowed it, rather than trying to act nice. It pissed me off that the guy said "oh by the way... I met girls ;)". Like I give a fuck. Pmuch "tl;dr - I don't have this problem"

>>17810870
Will do. Some of his writings are depressing though.

>>17810879
Is it better if I pretend nice and be passive aggressive? Am I not allowed to be myself? Have to pretend nice IRL the whole day, why can't I unwind and behave the way I actually feel like while anonymous? Shouldn't you be able to act the way you actually feel with friends? "we're not your friends" - my point is it gives some relief.

I'm fed up and sick of being a needy beggar when it comes to social interaction. There seems to be no way around it except a number of coping mechanisms - imaginary friends, listening to / watching recordings, focusing on something else.

Every once in a while the situation changes. I think it's usually a case of fooling myself and others of "I'm not lonely/needy as fuck" while clinging to those who give me some of their attention until they get overwhelmed.

I get angry because there seems to be no way around this shit. This has been upsetting me since forever. I'm at the end of my wits. Yeah I know I'm bitching.

>>17810954
Then you need to work on yourself if your default reaction is to be a dick to people and you have to fake it irl. Plus trust me you're not as good at faking it as you think, people notice.

the native americans had a spirit totem for the bobcat. those born under its guidance were meant to learn how to be alone without being lonely.

this didn't mean they were hermits, permavirgins, or forever alone. just that they need to learn how to enjoy time by themselves more than others.

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>>17810669
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYHAzclqArc

>>17810820

>ME ME ME ME ME

anon, no offense, but no one cares about your loneliness. becuase its self inflicted. anon was making conversation. he may not have have had something directly related, but he chimed in to discuss something. at the very least you could have taken it as seeing the beauty in a lonely moment, and at most you could have just ignored it.

but you were a cunt. which is why you are lonely.

>>17810954

the problem is he did ntohing to warrant an angry response. you are not allowed to be yourself is a rude asshole. if he had even said something stupid, i could understand why you got upset, but he didn't. he weighed in on something you posted, and you got upset becuase hes better off than you.

>>17810954
Like I said, I'm extremely lonely. And I value every single drop of interaction I can get. Even with you op. I'm glad you came here for help and I'm glad I can try to help.
But when you claim to have the same problem and don't seem to value human interaction, and act aggressively with other anons.
Im a little confused to why you would do that.

>>17811054

sounds like he isn't truly lonely so much as not getting enough 'attention'. therefore if someone responds and it takes focus away f rom him, it makes him angry.

its kind of like when a girl feels lonely. not that they can't feel lonely but a LOT of the time they just arent getting attention at that moment and they are a bit addicted. gay guys have a similar issue ive noticed.

>>17810988
What is there for me to work on?

I'm just fucking frustrated, bitter and resigned. Am I supposed to pretend I'm not? Wave a magic wand to make it go away?

I need answers. I need something that would make this heap of turds make sense.

So what if they notice? Let them notice. It's real, it's there. Why should they NOT notice?

>>17811003
interesting, perhaps this is the way to go, I don't know

Some say that only when you learn how to enjoy your own company you can truly relate with others. Just not sure how much of it is true and how much is just poetic mumbo jumbo. We have an inbuilt need for social interaction. I'm not sure what to think.

>>17811033
ME ME ME ME

Don't give a fuck if you CARE, I'm looking for fucking answers. Get it? Anon can shove his conversation. I admit I may have been a bit cranky/jaded/negative about it. You got a point there.

I'm not sure if I agree with "you're a cunt - hence you're lonely". This is just being cranky. It's not like I really wish him ill.

>>17811038
>not allowed to be yourself as a rude asshole
then what's the whole point of being yourself? it's only allowed when you're nice? how's it different then from ordinary social interaction in which you strive to be polite and pleasant, whether it's "yourself" or fake?

>>17811054
I like your hyper-appreciative attitude. It's good to be grateful. Not sure what to think. Perhaps you have a point.

>>17811079
>he isn't truly lonely so much
he is, but attention is good too, by adding a little drama I get more replies (hush)

I'm genuinely looking for a solution, and you are free to believe what you want.

Being hyper appreciative / grateful might perhaps be a good hint.

>>17811162
And before anyone replies with "there are no solutions" - change the word "solution" to "hint" or "guideline".

It feels a little bit more retarded to reply with "there are no guidelines nor hints".

Just please spare me the cliche "there are no solutions to anything". It's not true and it's stupid, alright?

Also, why is it not possible to relate in a cranky/jaded way? It's not like the Tokyo anon couldn't respond with "up yours too faggot" to me.

What's all this about being nice. I don't feel like being nice. I'm upset, pissed off, resentful.

>>17811162

>wave a wand and make it go away

no. you are supposed to find an outlet that isn't being rude to other people.

>im not sure if i agree with 'you're a cunt - hence you're lonely'

but its 100% true. you are a cunt. you admit this is just you being yourself. and no one wnats to be friends with a cunt. not when they just bring up japan and you say 'FUCK YOU THATS NOT WHAT WERE TALKING ABOUT'.

>this is just being cranky

no, this is being a bitch.

>then whats the whole point of being yourself

being someone likeable. anon, you can be yourself all you want, but you cant say people have to like it. you are rude and unpleasant. no one nwats to put up with you. no one likes that.

you could channel your frustrations into various therapies and managements, but you choose to thrust them on people. this is why people dont like you.

>>17811179

>whats this about being nice

because people dont help rude people. why would i give you hints or guidelines if you're just going to insult me or someone else?

if you want something, you have to be respectful to get it.

I can be contented alone but I never feel so lonely as when I fall deeply in love and the person doesn't yet know how I feel. This is me about now

>>17811180
>no. you are supposed to find an outlet that isn't being rude to other people.

Makes sense. Or I could make it rhyme - they wouldn't be offended so much.

>but its 100% true. you are a cunt
Depends how you mean it. I'm cranky. As a person I don't believe to be a cunt - as in unreliable, dishonest, deceitful, unfair etc.

>being someone likeable. anon
Like you know how I am as a person based on this single conversation.

>>17811182
>because people dont help rude people.
Tough shit then. It seems they do though.

>why would i give you hints or guidelines if you're just going to insult me or someone else?
Do you see me insulting anyone here for giving hints?

>if you want something, you have to be respectful to get it.
Thanks MOM

>>17811185
This is a very good point. It seems to me also that I don't feel it as much until it is triggered/activated by something - something usually related to opposite gender.

>>17811207

>it seems they do though

yet no ones helping you :^)

>thanks mom

bye OP. good luck with your soul crushing loneliness.

>do you see me insulting anyone here for giving hints

you are a child. you think you are the boss of everyone. so if someone posts anything that isn't what you want to hear, you lash out like the little cunt you are.

>as a person i dont believe to be a cunt

whatever helps you sleep at night. you know... alone.

>>17810669
its just brain chemicals m8

>>17811214
>yet no ones helping you :^)
What's your point.

>bye OP. good luck with your soul crushing loneliness.
Thanks for the heads-up. Good luck to you too. Bye.

>you are a child. you think you are the boss of everyone. so if someone posts anything that isn't what you want to hear, you lash out like the little cunt you are.
Thanks for the character reference. Thought you're leaving.

>whatever helps you sleep at night. you know... alone.
This got me so rused, literally pissing and shitting under myself. 2/10 get fucked

>>17811223
Good point. Ultimately all feelings/sensations are just that. I'm not saying they're not important - but they are what they are. Realising this helps somehow.

The irony in this thread is unreal. Sure the OP made a shitty comment, but the attacks he has been getting for it are even shittier than the original comment.

>>17810669
Get yourself interested in personal development. The way you are now is not because it is who you are but it is matter of circumstance. What it means you can change it but I know as much as you it is not easy. But it is doable. I will recommend you to watch all the videos here
https://actualized.org/articles/
It is a site full of videos on how to improve your life. I know most people are sceptical about these things but it is all free so what can you lose? It helped me with my life a lot. Try it he has a lot of videos about dealing with depression and negative emotions.

>>17811232

someone comes up and punches you. do you only punch him once and say 'there were even' then help him?

no, you punch him as many times as you can and say 'thats what you get for acting like a cunt.'

he acts like a cunt, we treat him like a cunt.

welcome to 4chan.

>>17811162
>What is there for me to work on?

>I'm just fucking frustrated, bitter and resigned. Am I supposed to pretend I'm not? Wave a magic wand to make it go away?

Well you need to figure out why you are that way and work towards fixing it. People make the mistake that women and friends will fix their problems, but a lot of this stuff is just you not liking yourself.

>>17811238
lol you sound gay as shit you should get beat

>>17811236
>What it means you can change it but I know as much as you it is not easy.
This may sound a little strange, but I'd need to be able to imagine/visualise HOW it/I could be "better", currently not being able to. I'll check your vids.
>>17811238
>someone comes up and punches you. do you only punch him once and say 'there were even' then help him?
Sounds like something I would do :^)

>no, you punch him as many times as you can and say 'thats what you get for acting like a cunt.'
You sound like Cartman.

>he acts like a cunt, we treat him like a cunt
Your mom is a cunt.

>welcome to 4chan.
We are leejun. Blow it out your ass faggot.

>Well you need to figure out why you are that way and work towards fixing it.
I don't think it matters why I'm cranky as much as "how could I lighten up more" :^)
progressing > fixing IMO

>People make the mistake that women and friends will fix their problems,
Why are bitches so jealous of each other, and to what extent should I respect this? Is it OK for a "gf" to ask me not to have female friends (because they're POTENTIAL competition)? Imo it's fucked up.

>but a lot of this stuff is just you not liking yourself.
I admit that at times I feel like I'm not likable.

>>17811267

i guess only straight hetero men like yourself let guys come up and punch them then.

>>17811276

>sounds like something i would do

i cant wait to meet you :^)

>you sound like cartman

and you sound like a pussy


no wonder you're so lonely.

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>>17811276

>at times

>>17811288
>i cant wait to meet you :^)
No thanks.

>and you sound like a pussy
Fine with it.

>no wonder you're so lonely
Ohohohoh. Brutal. You rekt me hard bro. I'm speechless. 4chan /adv/ leejun, not so hard please. Have mercy.

>>17810820
LOL this is the most ironic thread I've seen in months.

>Why am I so loooonelyyyyy ;___;
>HEY FUCK OFF I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU

Jesus. How are people so mentally challenged?

>>17811331
>Jesus. How are people so mentally challenged?

Do I have to like every single person/comment? Being cranky is also a form of relating. I would not get so many replies if I replied nicely. Being very appreciative rings true though. Feels kinda pathetic also. Not sure what to think.

>>17811344

>do i have to like every single person / comment

no. but you dont need to be a dick to someone who was perfectly nice ot you. then you get upset when people respond the same way.

tsk tsk.

>>17811344
Here's the thing: you can be or act however you want and that's your thing man, it's whatever. The problem comes from when you don't accept the consequences. That's when people start telling you to fuck off.

You're free to wear rainbow tank tops and short shorts, but don't complain if people think you're gay
You're free to tell the chef that his cooking sucks, but don't expect him to be good to your next dish.

You're free to be an ass to people trying to help, but don't expect anyone else to cure your loneliness and just deal with it

>>17811288
bruh im gay as shit you're just a massive faggot lmao

>>17811365
What's the big fucking deal.

>>17811379
Do you feel that I'm not accepting consequences?

>You're free to be an ass to people trying to help, but don't expect anyone else to cure your loneliness and just deal with it
They did help though. Many useful (to me at least) insights itc. Wrote down some of them.

There are days I can't cope, those are days that ought to be full of distraction. A new day will replace it.

And there are days where the loneliness seems like a sentimental, familiar thing. Like that old friend who you can quietly drink out on the back porch with. Or like a dreary, overcast day that seems somehow pretty. Or the way that an empty bus looks at night as it zooms past -lit fluorescent in a way that's not quite artificial, nor warm; but somewhere patiently in-between. I like the way it looks from the outside, as I peer in on their sleepy skeleton crews of homeless men and nightly commuters. Or have you ever stopped by an overpass or freeway at night, to listen to the whistling noise of cars speeding 90 MPH down the highway? Do you like to stop and watch grass or leaves move in a breeze?Do you like the feeling of being the last person at a gathering, that you might quietly put everything back in it's place while the warmth of company still lingers? Or have you ever walked down the hallways of an old school, and marveled at how small the hallways have gotten over the years?

When I can't ignore how alone I am some days, I try to bring to mind little sensations like these; ones that are best enjoyed all by yourself. If I'm lucky, I can pick some small thing out of the background that I like. I'll know that it's me alone, enjoying it. I don't need to share.

What are some things like these that you've all noticed, and like?

>>17810669
Dunno
I have been alone my hole life and it doesn't bother ms

>>17811033
It takes a special kind of moron to open a thread in a board about asking for advice and then complain that the person who made it only cares about getting help with his problem you know that?

>>17810708
Your problem reminds me of that really cool thing I did back in the day with some girls, it was in an amazing place I'm going to talk about now so everyone can tell how smart and deep I am i truly am an amazing person
Oh, you are still here?

Guys, I'm fucking girls as we speak. Just thought I'd trow in my 2 cents. Glad to help the discussion haha. Please continue.