Bridezilla

>>17810386
Assuming you're serious about long time shit with your girlfriend, she comes over friendships. Also the reaction over a silly fb argument is way over the top.

You could attempt rolling both way, go there, fulfill your groomsman role and fuck off doing something with your girlfriend afterwards. Suggest it to both of them.

If you've been dating this chick for 3 years and you're a groomsman wouldnt simple apology would do

It's not like she called him a nigger faggot or anything

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>>17810386
>Bros before hoes
Friends are higher on the hierarchy than temporary girlfriends. Go to the wedding, if anything, this provides more gossip for you to validate your girlfriend with.
>"The chairs were so tacky"
>"Literally, all the napkins were shit color brown"

>>17810386
you have to work it out with him but if she doesn't go you better not, groomsman or not. So either he convinces his gf to let it go or you convince yours to apologize to her and bite her tongue.

Women and weddings, fuck

>>17810401
To be fair, by far most friendships don't last long term either.

>>17810408
Friendships tend to last longer than relationships. If she's your fiance then fuck your friend.

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>>17810408
Some are shallow yes.

Then it really comes down to how well he knows the friend and for how long.

Personally, pre-relationship friends that I'm close with come before my GF of 3 years (a coincidence with OP). But if he was with his GF before he met the friend, I would choose the GF

OP here.

I think the diplomatic thing to do would be to to the wedding to be a good friend but after that never hit those crazy fucks up again. I'm not a fan of their engagement anyway. My boy is super paranoid about women and he definitely rushed into this marriage...It's not my life so I'm not gonna tell him that, it's too late anyway. My girlfriend is pretty upset but she also told me it's no big deal if I go.

I'm just gonna sell all my shit and go be gypsy hooker in Alaska cause the stupidity is too strong with this one

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>>17810438
Alaska's pretty cold OP
Don't sell your jacket

>>17810430

I have a similar philosophy towards friends and girlfriends as you. The OG friends come first this is a little unique.

This guy has been my friend for over 8 years and my family let him live with us for a year and high school cause he had nowhere to stay. I feel pretty betrayed by this faggot right now.

>>17810428
>>17810430
But relationships have a higher potential reward in case you do wind up married. Though I think it's kind of pointless to stick to any general rule and it should just be based on the individual relationships involved.

But see http://www.huffingtonpost.com/irene-s-levine/the-seven-year-expiration_b_208468.html for some short source on friendship duration.

>>17810454
We need more context here. How well does your girlfriend know the bride? Was she in any way involved in the planning or were there expectations for you to be involved in the planning?

>>17810386
"Hey, my girlfriend is a big part of my life. It wouldn't be right to leave her and come to the wedding. If she can't come I'm afraid I have to bow out aswell."

>>17810460

My girlfriend and his fiance don't know each other very well. We've hung out as couples maybe 4-5 times. My girlfriend wasn't involved in any of the planning but she was definitely looking forward to this.
I was asked to be a groomsman a while back but they have kept a lot of people in the dark over details and I think it's starting to catch up with them because they really didn't plan well.

>>17810465

I haven't responded to his text...yeah he texted me this fucking shit....but when I do it'll be worded similar to that

>>17810471
Okay, I think the response of the bride was way overdrawn but I don't see why your girlfriend felt the need to criticize the planning of a wedding of people she barely knows, that she's not involved in in any way. Did I miss/misunderstand something crucial?

>>17810454
>betrayed
Honestly, he's probably just face-palming and and sighing and saying yes dear

>>17810477
OP here
Long story short I'm notorious for procrastinating...all of my friends know that, but if I say I'm gonna get something done I do...it just might be last minute. I haven't gotten fitted for my tux yet...and I have until this Sunday too...as a matter a fact I'm going today. But his fiance messaged my girlfriend saying how I'm a shitty friend and how I don't care about my boy and blah blah fucking blah....she should have just messaged me. So my girlfriend tried being all defensive of me and now we're here.

>>17810489

Agreed 100%
But this is definitely going to change our friendship

>>17810496
Okay this changes stuff. It is an absolute dick move to (basically, even if you didn't choose to) let your girlfriend take the heat for your lack of dealing with the situation more timely, and then to enjoy yourself at the wedding while leaving her at home because in the process of doing so she made herself unwelcome there.

She stood up for you, now you need to have her back. Explain to your friend that you cannot leave her alone at home after she stood up for you despite it being your fault. If he has any sense he'll talk to his woman and convince her to go along with things. Otherwise, if he's a reasonable friend he will understand what a dick move that would be.

>>17810528

Yeah I feel guilty as fuck for not doing it sooner but to be fair I work crazy hours and It's not uncommon for me to work 10+ days in a row, I've only known about the tux situation for about 2 weeks...anx I still have 4 days to get it done. But yes it still is my fault for taking so long.

If I had known they were messaging each other I would have told her to stop or be careful with what she says. It happend while I was at work so I didn't hear about it until things went south. I'm not a big facebooker and I definitely don't spend my time arguing on there...call me old-school but a simple phone call to me would have sufficed

>>17810386
Tell the groom exactly what you just told us. The groom should be able to talk the bride into letting your girl back in. Also tell your chick to apologize. Don't care how poorly they planned the event, it's still their wedding and it's kinda bitchy to argue with someone over their own wedding. I'm sure the bride was out of line too but your girl has no right criticizing someone else's wedding, especially not in front of all their friends on Facebook. You and your bro can handle this with civility and get everything back on track.

I actually have some experience with this. My sister wanted to be a brides maid at my brothers wedding and was distraught when the bride chose her friends. It became this big fucking deal until my brother just manned up and told his bride to let my sister be a bridesmaid

>>17810542
I don't disagree that they were just as responsible for the whole tailoring part and guilty of approaching your girlfriend instead of you. But no matter how you want to look at it, effectively it boils down to you throwing her under the bus for an issue they/she initially had with you. That shit doesn't fly and if I were her I'd feel let down by my SO after defending them. Sure you might not have wanted it but I doubt she could hold her tongue back after that accusation and not put in a good word for you, hard to blame her for that let alone let her and only her be punished for that.

>>17810386

There's so much going on here that I don't know where to begin.

If you want big boy points from me approach it like this... Here mate, you're fiancee a bitch and should have invited gf3+ to the wedding, (note should have, not she should). Regardless of stupid facebook crap, even if my gf started it (which according to him she did, even if he knows she didn't). I've been seeing her 3 years and she's going to have to receive an invite otherwise I'm not going to attend, the truth is she isn't even fussed about going and she might not even accept if invited (only you know this and the truth is your gf has fuck all better to be doing because you already know she gets into facebook fights). It's not gonna put any stress in my homelife (because if it is going to put stress on your homelife you should be prepared to drop her and not go to the wedding). Also make it clear that if you two get married in future he can be assured your gf will do something equally or greater in pettiness like not inviting her and putting her seat next to the bathroom and you wont even try to defend it.

Your fiancee already made it clear she dislikes her and I'm not playing stupid little games over this. I've already spent money on clothes/hotels etc... and I'd like to know if I can return while I've still got the receipts. If he's your friend he'll understand. Make it his decision to be a big boy and put his foot down or to let his new wife cut his balls off and put them in her purse. I would even say that last line because at the end of the day if he can't even sway something like this he's not really getting into a relationship.

Things that would change this approach:
Your girlfriends a bitch and not only did she start the facebook wars and is likely cause a scene or argument. But she's gonna make stupid comments, that's a given. Like backhanded complimenting the brides fat ass or awful hair, or ugly dress. Women over 21 know how to deal with this shit, they enjoy it.

>>17810562
Ignore the part about your girl being bitchy, I just saw what you said in previous posts

>>17810562
>>17810566

Thankfully it was through Facebook messages. So just between those 2. I'm really trying to play both sides here cause I know everyone involved in this bullshit is somewhat guilty. I'm not mad at my girl for what she did...but if there's a person to blame I would say it's my boys finance.


Had she just messaged me we wouldn't be going through tbis shit right now. For whatever reason she messaged my girlfriend...I was just shown the messages and I will say my girlfriend legitimately tried being nice but this thundercunt kept going on and on about how I'm a piece of shit (which is kinda true) but if you have a problem with someone go to them...not their significant other.

Ask them to put aside your differences for the sake of your presence. The wedding is happening regardless of you and your gf's opinions. As best man, youre clearly important to the groom, so you should ask him to re-invite her. He should have just as much say as the bride as to who gets invited.

>>17810586
Yeah I agree but she did go to your significant other and did rip her a new one over an issue they had with you, you're only making it worse by allowing her to be banned from the wedding on top of that while you get to have a cool party despite being the very source of their irritation (justified or not).

>>17810572

I don't know if you've been in this situation before but you just pretty much nailed that one. Thank you kindly

>>17810496
>>17810542
Wait, what exactly is the criticism of the bride? How you still haven't gotten your suit or whatever? Is she by chance a 12-year old? That's none of her business (it starts being her* business when you appear at the wedding in jeans, but not before).

* or whoever is responsible for the planning of the event

>>17810586
It is absolutely fucking correct that there was no reason whatsoever to involve your girlfriend in this. I'd say you make this point clear to the bride and that you wish your girl not to be uninvited over an issue that affects _you_. My feeling is she wanted to uninvite you but didn't have the balls because you're a close friend of the broom, so she went for your girl instead. in that case you should try to make clear to her (_her_, and not him) that you aren't coming unless your girl can come.

>>17810386

its a wedding. not a business. unless this is costing YOU some unforseen amount of money, than whats the problem? you are a groomsman for a reason.

it sounds like thi sstarted as a case of bitches being bitches, but you're sounding like a bitch too

>TEH WEDDINGS POORLY PLANNED IM THINKING OF BACKING OUT

jesus you're a shitty friend.

OP here

I'm gonna tell my boy that if she's uninvited then consider me out too. I've never let an internet agument ruin a friendship. I think it's ridiculous that his fiance can't take a little shit being dished back to her while she has no problem dishing it out. I've always told my friends that if I'm doing something that concerns them or upsets them to just talk to me IN PERSON. Its their wedding and all I wanted to do was be there for a good friend on his special day. Now I have this shit to deal with.

So it's either both of us or none of us.

Fuck me

>>17810609

>wedding is poorly planned
>that's on them not me
>bitches were being bitches
>trying to be a good friend
>trying to be a good boyfriend
>OP is not a faggot

>>17810562

I'm siding with this anon

OP

Thanks everyone. Appreciate the input from all. You can go back to /b/

>>17810590

No I haven't been in that situation before. But I can tell you exactly how your friends fiancee is going to respond.

1. They'll have something that ranges from a 30 minute to 3 days and it will be a shouting match, an argument, a compromise or a silent treatment. How this plays out depends on how squishy your boy is, and since he didn't outright just invite gf3+ to HIS wedding when this was discussed (if it even has been) then we know who's gonna be wearing the pants. If this is the case go to 3c).

2. PercyBalls will come to you and say how it was all a misunderstanding and how of course she was invited and PercyBalls fucked up the invitations (even if they were in her handwriting).

3. Who knows if this'll happen:
a)If she's a real bitch who's reluctantly inviting gf3+ she'll write you out a special invitation with +1.
b)If she's drawing a truce she'll write you out a special invitation with your gf's name with a capital letter. (and I guarantee your gf will have it will be on the mantlepiece for everyone to see as a BTFO Bridezilla trophy)
c)If she refuses to invite her still just don't go and buy her a strap on for a wedding gift and put both your names on it. When you see your buddy you can ask him how much use they're getting out of it. I guarantee you he will never live it down.