Passive Girlfriend

>>17810044
Checked.

How old are you both?

>>17810052
We're both 26 and we've both been in long term relationships before. Her last bf apparently cheated on her which might explain her actions. I haven't really asked too many details.

>>17810058
26? See if she was younger I would say that she's discovering who she is. But she might just be a lazy person deep down. There's plenty of people who don't have any creative hobbies my man. It's up to you if you want that in your woman. The unfulfilling job and the lack of a desire to change it though is a huge red flag for me.

>>17810044
People generally like to stay passive, you said that her previous Bf cheated on her, she could be using passivity as a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt again.

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>>17810044

This is who she is. For whatever reason, she's a relationship chameleon. She just takes the shape of whoever she's dating and whatever they're into because she is either afraid or incapable of establishing herself in a romantic relationship. This probably stems from some kind of shitty childhood thing but its very possible she's just a little emotionally stunted.

She isn't going to change. This is the girl you're dating. Either you can accept her for who she is right now or move on and find a different girlfriend. Do NOT under any circumstances fall in love with the girl you want her to be and not the girl she is.

If she is not what you want then you have to leave because she isn't ever going to be anyone else.

>>17810044

It honestly sounds fine, it's just who she is, if it was everything you said and none of the positives then I'd be worried but you listed at least 5 very assuring things that she does for you. Don't let your insecurity get the better of you when you really don't have a reason to feel that way, insecurity is a massive turn off as well so the more you bring it up and stress the more likely she is to start to resent you.

>>17810044

How can you be worried she doesnt like you if she messages you she misses you, wants to see you everyday, wanted to live with you, rejects friends in favour of seeing you...

Read between the lines and stop being so insecure.

>>17810062
Actually she's pretty good at art but it's just a hobby and she also speaks 3 languages. As for the job, it's unfulfilling as she sees it as a way to build experience to do what she really wants which she hopes to transition to in a years time.

>>17810075
This is the kind of advice I was expecting but also the kind of advice I don't know how to accept. What you said is true - it's who she is and she won't change. I know it's to my detriment but I feel so attached to her and I want to stay even though I might not be happy in the long run. I feel it's hard to just end things.

>>17810096
>>17810098
I can't even deny it. I'm insecure and it sucks. I wish I wasn't. You are right that there are a lot of positives but is it a hallmark on insecurity to want more more more from a partner? I guess the one thing is that when i say I want to see friends or take a night off she just shrugs her shoulders and says "okay, have fun". No drama, no nothing. It's not passive-aggressive, it's just a straight up: "go have fun" and she gets on with doing whatever she does.

>>17810114

Honestly from an outsiders perspective she sounds like a pretty good catch, she prioritises you, wants to see you a lot, doesnt mind when you want friend time and is relaxed and laid back in general. I think you're expecting a bit too much, if she were different you would be complaining she isn't giving you space or that she's clingy etc.

I think you have the best of both worlds because from what you have said she still lets you know you're wanted while keeping the laid back attitude.

Faggots who never had passive gfs ITT

OP, all I'm going to say is listen to your gut and instinct. Deep down you already know what's right in this relationship.

It sounds more like she's really lazy. And she might have only seemed active before you went out to impress you.

So many different responses here. Pretty cool. Thanks everyone. I'm still at odds.

>>17810126
>>17810152
I have a great girlfriend that gives me a lot of space and freedom when I want it. She's pleasant and nice to be around. I've dated clingy girls and it was too much for me.
But she's also someone that is so passive it makes me feel like I could go away for a month and she'd continue life like I never existed. Of course she'd care but she's so casual about everything.
Even when she left her home city (which was a snap decision due to an external circumstance), she just texted her friends to say goodbye. When I made the same choice, I had a big goodbye party etc etc.

>>17810184
Yeah that's definitely a part of it. Forgetful might be better because she'll forget to hang up her wet clothing or will forget to take the rubbish downstairs.