Please list out most of the red flags in men/women. I really

>>17809702
>Breathing

>tattoos

>>17809708
>drinking water

>Constantly mentioning their mom/dad
>Being unable to think about their future
>Lol I got wasted again this weekend xd

>>17809702

>Dishonest
>Not loyal
>Doesn't communicate issues and/or bad at communication

Fairly obvious things, if your partner lies to your or acts shady then they should be your biggest warning signs.

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>Being ugly as fuck

>having two accounts on any social media

>>17809702
>"You're not like other women"
>Gets feelings too fast
>Close to ex girlfriends/ex fwb
>"Am I better than your ex?"
>Secretive
>Cannot express his feelings
>Gets angry easily
>Yells a lot when he's angry
>"All my ex girlfriends are crazy"
>Unable to look after himself (cooking, cleaning, laundry)
>Bad hygiene
>Bad with money, has a lot of debts
>Cannot have fun without getting drunk
>"I am not like other men"

There are probably more.

>Expect you to solve problems for them
>Princess mentality
>Not committal to stuff
>Always vague
>Bipolar disorder

>All the /r9k/ posts ITT

Sad!

>>17809773
>lies
and
>acting shady
immediate grounds for me being suspicious and if it's a regular thing, gtfo of my house. I don't have the time or willingness to spend a significant portion of the free time in my life to constantly be on top of your bullshit and that's not a healthy relationship.

>goes on craigslist
>4chan even
>doesn't post selfies
>can't bake
>no exercise
>sloth behaviour
>blames others

>>17809816
>doesn't post selfies
Why is this a red flag?

Outside of the most obvious ones I would say

>Always on their phone (social media)
>Needs drugs/alcohol to have a good time
>Complains too much
>Parties too much
>Sudden changes in behaviour towards you
>Secretive about their belongings (phone/laptop)
>Doesn't see you as a priority (within reason)
>Hangs out with "bad influences" or people you don't like

>>17809796

Some of those are a stretch, annoying? maybe, but red flags? seems a bit dramatic.

>>17809796
All true but
>gets feelings too fast
this is me I guess, I wish I could stop it, but I can't.

>>17809822
>ulgy personality

>>17809832

What do you mean? You don't consider people who post selfies constantly to be seeking validation and therefore reflecting on their personality?

>>17809830
>Some of those are a stretch, annoying? maybe, but red flags? seems a bit dramatic.
Which ones, exactly? Out of curiosity.

>>17809831
It's not the end of the world!
I am just a bit wary of that because, in my experience, when someone gets close to me too fast, especially if he gets clingy, I get bored and it gets dramatic.

Guy here, things that peeve me regarding girls, nothing superficial but:

>Expects me to be their therapist, there's a big difference
>Won't talk to me for a prolonged period of time unless they need something
>Doesn't respond to messages
>No sense of commitment
>Entitled
>Easily upset
>Always expects things to go their way
>Mood swings out the wazoo
>Rude to waiters and strangers
>Can't hold a conversation
>Asks way too many questions
>Constantly on their phone in social situations
>Disloyal
>Seldom is straightforward
>"I don't know how I feel"
>Always unsure about almost everything

Just off the top of my head.

>>17809847
I mean I've only done it to two girls, one was just infatuation that died, then she fell in love with me, it was a mess.

Second is current girlfriend of 7 months, and Ive been crazy for her since we first talked, I dunno. Im just a mushy corny dork.

>>17809847

Personally I would be able to look past anything that was written in quotations, a phrase being uttered like that isn't really that big of a deal. Also getting feelings too fast, unless they are telling you how much they love you and want to plan your life together immediately I don't think it's really an issue to be falling for someone early on.

>I don't know how I feel
>I don't know if I will fall in love with you
>Dislikes any form of PDA

>>17809796

>Gets feelings too fast
>Cannot express his feelings

Talk about towing a slippery slope when it comes to dealing with female emotions. Want to be desired but just the right amount, if it's too little then you're being passive and they lose interest, if it's too much then you're being creepy and they lose interest. Has to be just the right amount. Fascinating.

no job
spending money she doesnt have
talking shit about ppl behind their back
drugs, alcohol
being fake

>>17809860
Most of those things aren't dealbreakers.
A red flag is something that warns you that there might be something wrong.
For example if someone says "All my exes are crazy" what I hear basically is "I am unable to accept responsibilities for the failure of my past relationships and/or incapable of picking my SO wisely". If the first time we argue he acts all self-righteous and like he hasn't done anything wrong ever, meh, I'm out.
"Am I better than your ex?" is probably the single most insecure and stupid question I've ever heard. You want me to either make you feel bad about yourself and allow your insecurities or talk shit about someone who meant a lot to me just to make you feel better about yourself. I wouldn't dump him on the spot, but if he tries to pry into my past/sexual history/old relationships a lot, or if he acts really insecure in the future I probably would.

>>17809869
Of course there is a right amount. Like with everything else.
I don't want to date a guy who says he is madly in love with me before I even know his last name, and I don't want to date a guy who is cold to me and uninterested.
They both show emotional immaturity. Not being able to distinguish between infatuation and love means you are immature. Not being able to communicate you love someone is just as immature.

>>17809878
>Not being able to distinguish between infatuation and love means you are immature. Not being able to communicate you love someone is just as immature.

But that's the thing, there are girls who want you to treat them like a merry little princess, and then there are those who want to play the "Let's talk once every 2 weeks but pretend to still be interested in each other" game, it's so very rare to find those who want to take things at a logical step and at a right balance, like you sit down like two adults and you agree that you're going to work towards something and not just blurt out, "I love you" or actively ignore each other to try and prove how not needy you are.

Unless I just attract women who are on either extremes.

>>17809878

I guess my understanding of a red flag isn't the same, If I recognise something that I believe to be a red flag it's almost certainly going to be a dealbreaker.

But yeah I understand your reasoning behind what your wrote, initially I just thought some of them seemed like petty reasons to flip a switch on someone.

Thinking back to my ex she actually asked me if she was the best I've had/best girlfriend etc and of course at the time she was because I was with her, so telling her that wasn't an issue, didn't have to talk shit about anyone either.

>eats babies

>>17809888
I always talked every day or so with the guys I dated, without it getting too sappy.
I don't know. Maybe you've been unlucky, or I'm not like other girls. :^)

>>17809889
I probably am heavily biased about the ex thing. Me and my ex broke up because he didn't want kids and I did, but we broke up on good terms and I definitely cannot see myself saying "Oh yes, you're so much better than my ex, he was horrible" without lying.

>>17809702
If a woman invites you to her home and when you arrive you see that her house is full of Friends dvd's and also she has a sex dungeon in her basement

If they won't go on a serious date with you but only keep asking to get coffee or lunch.

>>17809909
>I'm not like other girls

So they all say

>>17809702
hiding their phone.
lie about small things or exaggerate a lot.
cant accept any criticism.
avoids going certain places in public for no real reason.
doesn't tip at least 10%
creates issues out of nothing.

>>17809939
I thought that the sarcasm was obvious. Heh.

>>17809911
Sounds good to me

>>17809942

I know it was sarcasm buddy :^)

>upset easily
>Has no close friends
>Hates their close friends one day, say they'll never like them again then the next day hang out all day with them
>Doesn't communicate their feelings
>No hobby
>"All my exes are crazy lol"
>Mentally ill
>Hate their parents
>Family hates them
>Needs you to be their emotional crutch at all times
>Offended really easily

>>17809909

I think it's a bigger compliment in saying that your ex was a great person but you value what you have with your current partner more because they can give you what your ex couldn't.

"I don't have friends that are girls, because girls are too much drama"

or

"I'm not like most girls"

Plus, the more guy 'friends' a girl has, the more red her flag gets.

>>17809702
Tattoos/piercings
Hair dyed in unnatural colours
Drugs
Heavy drinking
Being very religious
Low self esteem
Seeking validation
Aggressiveness

>>17809738
I understand why these are bad. But what's do they mean? What's the meaning behind these 3?

[spoiler]>>17810002
Not that person, but my guess:
>Constantly mentioning their mom/dad
Sign of immaturity maybe? They haven't cut the proverbial umbilical cord. Wouldn't be a red flag for me, but that's what I'd guess they mean.
>Being unable to think about their future
People who refuse to think about their future also refuse to do anything to improve it, and therefore end up as losers.
>Lol I got wasted again this weekend xd
Again, sign of immaturity to live the "party life", usually wasting huge amounts of money, and exposing themselves to all sorts of risks

>>17810023
>Sign of immaturity maybe? They haven't cut the proverbial umbilical cord
I wonder how common that line of thought is. My parents are still pretty heavily intertwined in my life even though I'm independent now.

Big one for me is people who say
>"I just say what everyone's thinking"
or words to that effect, everyone I've ever met with that mindset has been a complete liability.

>>17809994

This is the truest of all, girls that surround themselves with guys only and act all ignorant about the matter are the most frustrating people. Most of those guys are just orbiters looking for their window.

>>17810000

>low self esteem
>seeking validation

You just knocked out a few billion females with those

>>17810043

Or "I'm brutally honest"

Those people don't understand the difference between being honest and being an asshole.

>she is poor, has debt, bad with money, or only well off because of daddys deep pockets

oyyy veeeeeeeey

>"I just have no filter it's who I am"
>blaming you for random shit or talking you down to their friends, bonus points if they then complain that you don't get along with their friends
>they treat their mother disrespectfully (father as well but mother is more telling)
>they talk about ex-girlfriends in an immature, douchey way that does not reflect ability to take responsibility for their own part in the relationship ending - also in general, always telling stories that makes them out to be a passive victim
>not respecting sexual boundaries, trying to take condoms off, lying about getting tested
>not letting you know of sexual history with a female friend
>habitually dating women much younger than they are
>arguing to win the fight instead of to solve it
>shaming you for doing something they don't like instead of addressing like an adult that they'd prefer you to, for example, dress differently
>recurring talk of polyamory, doesn't matter if it's "hypothetical"

>>17809841
Ppl that constantly post themselves are obsessed with themselves. Very bad trait. I want a gf that hates it as much as I do. Do people even realize how long social interaction has been around before social media??

>Loses temper
>Smashes objects/punches walls when angry
>Actively seeks out girls with low self esteem/other issues
>Actively seeks out much younger women
>Constantly has to feel superior at everything, and does this by attempting to undermine everyone else instead of improving himself
>Treats his parents poorly
>"All my exes are psycho"
>Lol women are just crazy
>My opinions are facts

Red flags:
Secretive
Vague
Porn addict
Tells lies to avoid confrontation
Doesn't read
Poor hygiene/slob
Easily angered
Yells when angry
Low sex drive
Doesn't drive
Doesn't work at least min wage
Still lives with parents over age of 28
Serial dater
No sense of humor

>wears make-up
>has dyed hair
>paints her nails
>weights more than 120lbs
>hates her father
>has lots of guy friends

>>17810363
>weights more than 120lbs
At what height?

>>17810363
>weights more than 120lbs
And you made me feel super self conscious about my weight. Yay.

>needs to watch porn
>talks about exes
>keeps in contact with exes
>aversion to exercise
>eats like shit
>constant whining about problems with obvious solutions and not fixing them

>>17810367
nothing to worry about. guys have no clue about what is a healthy weight for a girl, especially if they're under 18

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>>17810363
>weighs more than 120
So you like anorexics?

>make-up and nails
Prepare to die alone

>>17810259

You said "doesn't post selfies" thats why people got confused.

Posting selfies for special occasions or just once in a while is fine, it's the people that update their profile picture once a week or more that I see as having a problem.

>>17810366
>>17810367

He's likely being facetious, he's ruled out 99% of date able females with those criteria

>>17810385
I think I haven't been 120 lbs since elementary school.
I am not particularly fat and I've never been, I am 5'7" and I weigh around 135 lbs. I always get complexes when I read stuff like that.
Stupid me, I guess.

My red flags would basically be any sign of immaturity.

>Places significant important importance on first date
>makes monthly anniversaries
>Clingy
>Dependency
>Insecurity
>Need for validation
>Expects returns on their efforts to be equal and complimentary, if not beyond, such as getting a gift of equal value or more
>Demands respect but lacks any respect or self respect
>Sense of narcissism or grandiosity
>Histrionic
>Lacks drive or passion or ambition
>Lacks any empathy
>Compulsive liar
>Controlling
>Lazy


The list goes on really. These are not quirks but defunct traits. A quirky attitude would be someone who is soft spoken and quiet, or loud and obnoxious, or sassy and sarcastic. But when you go beyond the level of just being a personality and deliberately impose certain things , that's when we enter The realm of traits.

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>>17810410
My GF is 135 and she's 5' 9", 135 is a low weight for tall girls

>>17810410
A lot of guys are absolutely terrible at estimating weight. I've seen people here look at images of women weighing clearly 140-150 lbs and guessing they're about 110 lbs.
I guess it's sort of like the equivalent of girls being terrible at estimating dick size, and saying they want AT LEAST 9 inches.

>>17810422
To be fair, it's not easy to be a good judge of dicks when virtually no guy is 100% honest about their size.

>>17810444
And a lot of girls lie about their weight.
My point is, don't worry about some arbitrary number someone throws your way, because a lot of the time, they really don't know what they're talking about.

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>>17810444
Depends, I usually just go with "average". There's no disappointment or high expectations at that rate.

>>17809702
As a guy, mine are:
> Texts during dates
> Posts selfies
> Rude to waiters
> Doesn't offer to pay for a meal occasionally
> Gets money from her parents
> Did not purchase her own car
> Spends any amount of time on 4chan
> Gets mad about little things
> When she has a problem talks at me instead of with me (just wants me to sympathize instead of help)
> Most of her friends are guys
> Can't pop the hood to her car
> Talks to any ex's
> Says "lowkey"
> Has any guy roommates

Any two of these together are a deal breaker. But then again, I'm successful and fit with a great personality so I can afford to be choosey.

>>17810455
True but weight is more complicated in general, you have to account for different people carrying fat differently, being more or less apt at looking slimmer than they are clothed, and height matters a lot more for weight than people tend to realize.

>>17810456
For the record, I have never and will never ask anyone for their penis size, it is a trashy and distasteful question to ask imo. I was just pointing out that you can never develop a frame of reference if you don't have the body part yourself and objective information is impossible to find.

>>17809783
but my gf has one tumblr for her normal art, and another one for her furry porn

is that bad?

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>>17810462
>I'm successful and fit with a great personality so I can afford to be choosey.
I believe you.

>>17810468
kek

>>17810468
Pretty sure they meant two accounts so she can cheat or do other shady stuff without it showing. Not literally just having two accounts for private or publicly shared stuff.

>>17810472
Hahaha I don't really care what you believe. I'm more than comfortable with my house, longtime girlfriend, degree, and salary.

>>17810455
>And a lot of girls lie about their weight.
Definitely. I remember theres this website where a woman plugs in her weight+height with some pictures, I guess the idea was to give a better sense of what women looked like. The issue is I know a lot of the time women would underscore their weight by sometimes shit like 50 pounds, so you'd figure a gal at 140 would be obese if you referenced it.

I don't even know why people lie about that shit. Doesn't matter if I claim my dick is 8 in when its 6.5, won't really change how it feels for the woman either way.

>>17810234
>arguing to win the fight instead of to solve it
Fug
Definitely one of my top flaws.

>>17810487
It matters because many women can't actually tell that your dick isn't 8" (6.5 is well above average as well anyway) so it hypes them up to think they're fucking a porn level dick.

>>17809797
this

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>>17810480
>implies he works
>on 4chan at 10:40 am
sure, man.

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>>17810468
Gr8 B8 M8

R8 8/8

>>17809702

Watch out for gaslighting and pay attention to what you say. Women who do this can be pretty sophisticated in the way they do these things, and I imagine a lot of it is subconscious so she doesn't realise she does it herself... So it's impossible to confront her about it.

If you say I'm meeting you at 4pm on the phone and you turn up at 4pm and she complaints she was waiting for an hour...

Or she hints to go out for a meal then complains you forced her to go out or a meal she didn't want to...

Or she hints she wants something for a gift then complains about it being a crappy gift.

She says you said something you didn't. Like the last time you had 4 drink together you insulted her (even if you didn't) or disrespected her by flirting with a waitress or something, (even if you didn't). It doesn't matter because you're drunk and that's proof enough you can't remember. She just has to lean on it enough to make you doubt yourself.

Look out for stuff like this, women like this can have you doubting your own sanity in no time and the first sign of it run as far as you can... don't even feel guilty, and rest assured she'll have filled your head with crap about her abusive past/abusive ex's/current hardships in her life etc... to make you think you're the only thing holding her together at the same time to make it harder to leave.

It's not worth it, you're not saving her, she's not helping you. You are just her little lapdog/play thing to keep her from going insane in her own empty life.

>>17810492
>(6.5 is well above average as well anyway
Isnt the average 6"? It was never something I thought was worth fretting about, since it's something you can't reasonably change.

> it hypes them up to think they're fucking a porn level dick.
Still seems like a bad idea to me. Best case scenario she doesn't care when it's time to actually have sex.

>>17810508
depends on location, 5.5" is the U.S. average

Africa is like 6 or 7

>>17810462
>>17810480

How insecure do you have to be to try to brag online on an advice board, people who are truly happy don't feel the need to tell strangers online on the advice section of a sock-knitting image board.

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>>17810499
>He isn't nocturnal

>>17810508
No, average is 5" to 5.5".

I wouldn't recommend lying about it either, but there's not zero point in it. Part of sex is exaggeration by nature, like worshiping someone's body like nothing better ever existed even though they're by all standards pretty normal, or moaning about how you never want to do anything else anymore than fuck each other while you both know that after you came you'll go right back to caring about other shit. Hyping up your prospective partner is a way to influence how they perceive you and for a girl who doesn't know what 8" actually looks like and who had a 5" guy prior, she will definitely find it bigger looking and more impressive if she thinks it's off the charts.

But at the end of the day I don't think that the women who care most about this info are the ones you really need most in your life, especially long term.

Only guy friends

>>17810421
Thanks! (:

>>17810422
Of course, I know. My boyfriend once guessed my weight at 120 lbs. I don't know if he was trying to flatter me, tho.

But being taller than average I have a lot of friends complaining that their weight got to three digits. I guess I got "used" to hearing shit like that and it makes me feel self conscious. Sure, I'm a full head taller than them. But heh.

>>17810499
I only work from 7 am - 10:00 am, possibly 8:30-10:30 pm (if I feel like it). I'm a day trader, gross over $170k a year. PhD in Biostatistics.

>>17810511
Just trying to add a little credibility. I live a blessed life, nothing you NEETs can say will hurt me.

>>17810023

>Again, sign of immaturity to live the "party life", usually wasting huge amounts of money, and exposing themselves to all sorts of risks

Or they just like to party and are otherwise responsible adults. Most of the people I know are normal with normal relationships, yet they get drunk almost every weekend. It's not immaturity, it's a preference towards a specific kind of entertainment. The problems start when partying becomes an obsession.

-Obsessed with television/video games/anime/shallow books that serve as mindless entertainment

They're bound to procrastinate a lot and they usually don't consider productive hobbies entertaining.

-Obsessed with sports
If their partner doesn't share their obsession, it will stand in the way of the relationship sooner or later.

-No physical exercise at all
Lazy af

-Clings to strict gender roles, e.g "Women should act X way and men should act Y, no exceptions"

Everyone has traits or hobbies that are usually associated with the opposite gender. It's retarded to expect someone to conform to a general idea of manly/feminine behavior and nothing else.

-Always ready to go out, always has time for you

Has no friends or doesn't bother to spend time with them. No hobbies, no life, no goals, "just lives" day after day with no purpose.

I don't feel like wading through the whole thread. I will pass on what I have learned so far, and hope it serves for you as some kind of help.

>Changes hair colour often and impulsively
>Tells you lots of personal stuff after you've just met (its used to bind you emotionally)
>Seeking (too much) attention
>No self reflection
>Arguments with friends about petty stuff
>Not respectful towards parents/arguing with parents for no good reason
>Indecisiveness
>Relies on others for entertainment/emotional support
>No future plans
>No hobbies

>>17810662

I suppose this one goes hand in hand with lack of self reflection:
>AAAand blames everyone but themselves for their problems

>>17809702
Going on mongolian pedophile board.

ITT: Single people.

>>17809851
Half of these are spot on.

>>17809816
Damn you just described me

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I want a girlfriend, and I'm willing to pay for it.
I am 20, have low testosteron and I'm an average Arab guy living in the Netherlands.

These are the requirements for you:
>not overweight
>live in the Netherlands
>good hygiene
>ability to meetup in the netherlands to go on dates
that's it, literally

You can post a skype name here and I'll get back to you.

I pay 350-400 euros a month for a period of 4-6 months.

>just get a hooker xDxDxD
No, I'm not seeking a ONS, I'm looking for a relationship, even though that relationship is based on money.

Serious comments only please

>>17810285
>Actively seeks out much younger women
>"All my exes are psycho"
>Lol women are just crazy

oh shit all of those so much

>>17810412

>insecurity
>compulsive liar
>controlling
>clingy

Apart from the clinginess and compulsive lies (things that i'm working on), these traits respect me when I'm attracted to someone. How do I stop myself to be so controlling and insecure?

I tendo to plan almost everything I do, like if I invite some friends, I tend to project the evening days before and I follow "the script" to make it go as I planned. It really bothers me, I don't feel "genuine", people tell me all the time I have an hard time showing emotions and that's because I didn't "plan" to show them.

Also insecurity plays a major part in this problem, how do I stop being a chronic insecure bitch?
I don't show it, but inside I know I am one

>>17810531
>Just trying to add a little credibility. I live a blessed life, nothing you NEETs can say will hurt me.

Your dick is probably smaller than your pinky.

>is a mom at under 30
>alcohol plays big part in weekends
>cannot consider their future
>can't look after themselves
>cannot take compliments
>expects rides if they don't have a car and complains when you can't fetch them
>never offers to pay for dinner or at least their part
>hates aspect of not being paid attention to due to video games or anime or series.

Not like I'd ignore them but vidja helps relax.

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>>17809874
I'm fake in social interactions. I wish I didn't have to introduce myself to anyone, but I pretend to be happy to meet them. It's just so people don't figure out I'm a creep.

>>17811187
>>is a mom at under 30

Lol oh wow you must be living in a serious bubble

>>17811255
Found the single mom lmao

>>17811272

But you didn't say single mom, you said, "mom at under 30" you bubbling doofus

>>17811275
I didn't say that dumbass

>>17811283

But you did you idiot, it's right there

>>17811294
Hmmmmm really don't recall saying that sorry bbz x

Self harm?

>>17810462
>Can't pop the hood of her own car
Hahahahahha, that's a good one. Especially for me, since I'm into cars. I wouldn't hate a girl for not wanting to learn how to do basic stuff to her car, though.

>>17810506
Sounds literally exactly like my ex...

>>17811187
>>mom before 30
a lot of people even get married at around 25, I don't see whats wrong with being a mom before 30

my red flags if I was a girl
>me

>>17810506

Good post. Never even thought of this before, well I have, but not in this elaborate way of getting you to think about her all the time by doing some subtle little things like these.

>has a dog
>has an opinion