Romance in life --- as a new bachelor

i dont have an answer for your question but if you're dealing with self esteem issues, try working out. it seriously builds a lot of confidence.

>>17806799
You are probably significantly older than me, but I've learned from an early age that no matter who is in your life, the only person that matters most is you. Fuck anyone else. They are all fleeting temporary strings that flit away while you build up your own inner pillar.

Life is a construct of pillars, all supported by the one pillar that they extend from, which is your inner self. Think of it like a domino effect. When one topples over, the others follow through, and the stronger ones will support the added weight, until more pillars are constructed.

Having a great circle of friends is a great pillar to lean on when your self pillar is toppled, but I like to think that all of your connections are supported by your own pillar, and the best way to reinforce your pillar is by never allowing the other pillars to topple yours over.

Friends, family, lovers, money, careers, they are all fleeting and temporary. People die. Management changes. Politics and money change. The only constant that is left is you. As long as you breath and have blood pumping through your veins, you live. As long as you are alive, you are always here. You are the one true constant.

>>17806799
Take up yoga. You need to spend alone time with yourself. Do some major introspection. Gain mental strength and independence. The fact that you wrote that your ex was able to shatter your self esteem means that your self esteem was built upon shallow shit that doesn't matter.

>>17806966
it isn't necessarily that my self esteem was lost, I guess. it's more like she convinced me that I didn't have what it took to love another person.

I know that it isn't my responsibility to make another person happy...but when she convinced me that I wasn't satisfying as a partner, that took it out of me.

>>17806936
Arguing from the oppisite point of view here, that was just a bunch of fancy metaphors to skew a really complicated matter to one train of thought. Honestly you can work on yourself and have deep care for others at the same time. I don't give a shit about myself and I only focus on others, but when I find a weak point in myself I think about how to fix it. I live a happy life depending on others, not because I cant depend on myself but because I enjoy other people. But OP you say you don't understand your emotions. That's a tough one, I go through spouts of losing touch with my emotions, to be honest the only way I can come back is if I put myself in a time where I did have those emotions, usually with pictures, videos, etc. But it sounds like you probably wouldn't have any, so the other way is take drugs, MDMA, ephedrine from Walmart, acid, any psychedelic will bring you back to an amazing emotional state in my experience. Good luck anon.