Commitment fear manifesting in weird ways

>>17806260
Avoidant personality disorder. You fear abandonment and so maintain control by abandoning others before they can abandon you.

Could be borderline but you don't sound manipulative and histrionic enough

Could be covert schizoid judging by the emptiness, but 'real' schizoids tend to be pretty rare, and the hypersexual schizoid rarer still

t. armchair psychologist

>>17806260
Why the hell would you even want to commit? Haven't you learned anything through Tinder and other crap? Most women are sluts and/or whores. Commitment is very dangerous and it is totally normal to be afraid.

Don't rush it. Wait until you find a woman that seems actually trustworthy. And it won't be easy to find her.

>>17806286
OP here I actually did see a psych for a bit and he straight up told me I was avoidant

didn't help me get through it though the fucker

how do i fix this

Sounds like you should probably withdraw from the whole 'women' thing for a while, in order to find out some more shit about yourself.

I think whether you like it or not, sex is always about some form of closeness. Even drunken ONS, which people often assume are devoid of meaning, are actually meaningful in many ways.

Take some time for yourself, it's okay to feel empty but there's good empty and bad empty. I'm similar to you and I can say that I'm much happier dating/loving less often and taking more time for myself.

I wouldn't worry too much about avoidance or commitment or deep shit, be more light-hearted. You might find yourself quite insecure, but just keep on working and you'll be fine.

>>17806312
Well, a better psych is one possibility, you're supposed to find one you can work with personally, they aren't a 'one size fits all' like a doctor prescribing an allergy pill

But unfortunately, personality disorders are so pervasive that general 'self-improvement' is usually a pipe dream. With avoidants, what is generally most helpful for them is to have someone to provide assistance with concrete goals as they occur, and getting through situations and acclimatizing yourself to the fact you aren't universally hated. You might still FEEL hated, but if you have someone available to 'reality check' you, it's easier to overcome the 'oh fuck social stress abandon ship' impulse and get back to fulfilling your goals rather than bowing to fears.

This 'reality checker' doesn't have to be a psych, but I think friendship is currently direly suffering in this day and age and I can't assume you have an unconditional friend available (and even if you DO, it's likely you can't recognize them as such due to your self-loathing mindset).

Sorry if that's not encouraging but it's 'true' to the best of my armchair psychologist knowledge.

>>17806260

as you get older you commit less.

becuase you are now aware that girls arent special. the younger you are the more special any girl seems for no reason other than shes 1) attractive and 2) into you.

but you realize she wasn't that much different tha nother girls. there ARE special girls but as you get older you just get better at seeing who is special and 'worth it' and who is not.

some people miss this becuase even though they get older and have dated more girls they are still simply co dependent. you are are not. you got some emotional stuff but if i had to guess you will work those out, reach your self actualization point, and then be content being you until the /right/ girl comes along.

I'm a lot like you im just not emotional about it.

>>17806312
I feel like I relate to some of your experiences, though my numbers aren't as high as yours.

It is really easy to feel like if you avoid getting close to people emotionally that it will somehow protect you from getting hurt. However I know that it can just open you up to other forms of hurt. Ending up in situations where you don't feel valued or like you are being true to yourself, having one sided experiences with people... I got lucky and found someone who I can talk to about the trust/commitment issues, fear of being left and they want to make an effort to trust them. But I know everyone is not that lucky.

In the end you gotta make the effort to confront these issues head on...casual sex is just a way of covering them up. Therapy can help to an extent, but you also have to be honest with yourself about these things. Either you should probably stop these casual sexual encounters especially because they can make you feel depressed after, or if you find someone you really like you can make the plunge and try to work through it as you go (but that might end badly).

There is no easy solution. But if you let people from your past mess up the relationships you have now you are doing yourself a great disservice.