I'm not sure what happens from here

Consider actually giving yourself a shotgun mouthwash because you sound like a psychopath.

>>17806264
I'm not a yank

guns aren't easy to come by

>>17806237
NARCISISSTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER (pretty sure I spelled that wrong but look it up my mango)

>>17806295
I guess that seems kind of accurate, thanks

I know I'm quite narcisstic and I've been an attention seeker since I could speak

>>17806237

consider the following.

would you say that you 'dont have a personality' or that it changes from person to person just becuase you're lovey dovey with your girlfriend but not with your boss?

we have different RELATIONSHIPS and how we act is defined by our relationship and chemistry.

most tecahers would describe as a nice well to do student. but one thought of me as an insufferable twat. why? cuz i was... in her class. for some reason she brought out the worst in me. i think the other students did to (only class i didnt have a friend in).

my point is that there is still a baseline beneath these actions that sitll make up who you are. you are 'generally' the same person but with different parts of that baseline more extreme than others.

you still like the same things movies, songs, and video games right? that doesnt change from person to person, just the things you tell them.

your personality is real. the rest is just the PARTS you share. people are more complex than TV says we are. we do not act the same way all the time.

when you;'re home alone you might think of yourself as a suave cool badass one minute and a silly fun nice guy the next.

>>17806439
this was incredibly interesting and you bring up some good points.

my original post was that whilst I can act lovey dovey with my girlfriend, it doesn't feel real. most of the time I'm incredibly distant with her, often with people I just try my best to charm them.

in school I was cocky with everyone, arrogant even, I also had one teacher that brought out the worst in me, she was a truly terrible person... I wound up shouting and swearing at her and throwing a chair.

I don't think I'm a psychopath, I know I have an awful temper and I feel rather numb but perhaps it's just a phase.

the idea of being a happy, silly nice guy is incredibly appealing but I honestly don't think I've ever felt like that. I wish I could be some sort of soft, kind hearted engineering guy but that will never be me... I tried to be like that and ended up worse

>>17806449

the best i could reccommend is being yourself. i know it sounds cheesy, but if you want to be happy you got to act authentically. if that means breaking up with your gf, or simply not being over the top iwth her, then so be it.

you will likely find that a lot of the 'forced' relationships are entirely unnecessary and only preventing happiness.

say what you want to say. experiment and go crazy just letting your inner self out. after awhile you'll learn what makes you happy and what doesn't and you'll try to reign what doesnt make you happy in.

but go experiment with yourself.

>>17806481
I think that's what I'm going to do, to be honest it's rare I feel 'happy' my happiness is kind of a sense of arrogance, ie I feel 'pumped up', never really that calm, loving happy feeling people speak about.

>>17806237
So, did you know you're a psychopath? I'm not trying to be cute; you described one perfectly. So what about it?

Psychopath and/or narcissistic.. would need to know more to really understand if you have a kind of narcissistic personality disorder because lots of times people like that will not only obsess over themselves and go crazy about being criticized, but they want to be on everyone's good list - to be well liked by everyone. There are (or atleast very easily can be) social repercussions on being too outwardly manipulative/abusive with screwing people over.

I dunno, seems like maybe a narcissistic wouldn't want to [atleast be seen] screwing someone over.
If you consider them to be personalities, both are types of social climbers, that's what they have in common, but the narcissistic would keep things social and small scale (being well liked, but in a a smaller community for example) if it meant having to openly screw over other people. The psychopath wouldn't give a fuck - as long as it meant some kind of gain for him. Narcissists I think would put social status above all - that's what it all comes down to

>>17807380
I guess I didn't until now, people have described me as one before but it's a tough thing to talk about because I don't want to seem like a total fedora

>>17807404
>want to be on everyone's good list

this is very accurate, when I was in high school, i made sure to be liked by everyone, and people who didn't like me I'd just make it seem like they were stupid, or make it so nobody liked them, thereby making it irrelevant what they thought of me