Signs of a controlling girlfriend.

I figured it out when she said she would kill herself when i wouldn't come over one night... took me a couple months after that to actually break up with her.

Does she go through your phone? Does she tell you you can't watch porn? Does she hold sex over you? Does she bring up your past fuckups during unrelated arguments?

Need more info

>>17806059
We're long distance, but I have done the vast majority of the travelling. Always complains when I see my family(she lives where I grew up) even if I do it when she's at work. She wants to go away for vacation next Christmas because she can't stand the stress of having to run around to see all of her family, got upset with me when I wasn't totally on board because it's Christmas for crying out loud and I would like to see my family durring it. Gets mad at me for taking a half hour to text back even though she knows how busy I am. She wanted me to move in a while ago and I wasn't ready, she really didn't take that well. Got over it but then started suggesting things like me living with her for just a few months as a trial. It feels like if I give her an inch she takes a mile.

>>17806059
Oh, she lost her shit one weekend when I told her I couldn't visit because I had a ton of school work to do and that there's no way that I could get it all done while visiting her. Didn't threaten to kill herself but chewed me out until I broke down and went.

>>17806202
I don't know you, her, or anything else about the situation... but that sounds pretty miserable. Are you happy? Do you communicate with her that she's being a bitch? That's really all you can do. If she keeps taking miles, I'd ask myself if i wanted to stay with her.

I'm fucking single though, so maybe don't listen to me.

>>17806202
>>17806221
That sounds awful. You don't even make up fake excuses for her. You are totally fed up with her. You should get out of there.

>>17806059
She doesn't go through my phone that I know of or have a problem with porn. What do you mean by hold sex over me. She did for a long time make sex the very last thing we would do for thw day. And not because she didn't want to have it, but because she would rather drink, watch movies, or play videogames all night. I'd ask her to have sex and she would respnd "sure, but just one more beer, just one more episode, let me play for 20min longer, ect" until I'd be blue balled and falling asleep at 2-3 in the morning, when she would finally decide that it was time for sex.

>>17806231
Is it that obvious? We almost broke up a few times, we argue somewhat regularly. I mean, some of it is my fault, I'm not innocent of making mistakes durring the relationship. But she's my best friend of several years and I'm worried that me leaving may be a mistake. I don't seem to connect with people quite like her and despite her neediness she has had some positive impacts on mt life, some negative too. Guess we really should have just stayed friends.

>>17806256
What the fuck is wrong with you. Get that woman out of your life.

>>17806227
In general not really. I am happy when I soend time with her, that is until an argument breaks out. I do talk to her about a lot of this, but it gets turned on me. I don't make her a priority, she loves me more than I love her, she wouldn't hesitate to do xyz.

Oh this is propbably important, so I started seeing a therapist for reasons unrelated to her. She REALLY dod not like that. Said that I was making the therapist my main emotional outlet, that she had coping mechanisms that had worked for her and other people that would work for me. She was upset that I decided to see a therapist first before coming to here. I got shit for it almost daily, telling me that I was a drain on my parents for going tona therapist instead of her, even though my parents were tottally cool with me going and just wanted me to get the help I needed.

>>17806269
First relationship in five years, been a rough patch of life since going into college. Damaged people attract each other I guess. I know she loves me and I admire her to an extent. I guess it's a mix of feeling guilt and wishing it would work. I'm also not sure what a healthy adult relationship is like since I was single for so long after highschool.

>>17806275
She kinda sound like a controlling girlfriend. The "bad" kind of controlling girlfriend: very selfish and unilateral.

>>17806275
>>17806294
Being single would be kinder to you than keeping up with this sick game. You even seem to more or less understand how ridiculous and insulting her twisted logic is.

>>17806294
You basically admit that you don't love her even though she (apparently) loves you. Why the fuck are you even with her? You just don't want to be single?

>>17806311
I'm afraid of being alone again and letting go of someone I have spent so long getting close to. I mean, I'm closer to her than anyone else, and was great friends with her despite her flaws and thenissues they occasionally created.

>>17806311
I do love her, but I think only as a friend. I didn't realize that initially. I've never been in love before. I don't know what it feels like.

The last time we nearly broke up I was finished. We got into an argument and she just flat out asked if we should break up, she's done that before durring our fights. I said yes this time and she acted like she was ready to move on as well. But then she called me when I got home and started asked me crying what she did wrong and why I didn't love her. I couldn't take that. I think I might gave gotten guilted into going back.

>>17806357
>>17806373
Dumb excuses. Masochism. Cowardice.

>>17806392
Cold anon, but you're probably right. It wouldn't be so hard if things didn't shift from good to bad to good again. Makes you feel like maybe things will change, gives you false hope.

How do you leave someone like this? I still care about her, I know hurting someone is pretty inpossible when you break up with them, but what do I do?

>>17806403
You value yourself. You also recognize that she'll never become a reasonable human being if you continue to enable her poor behavior. That nothing will ever get better for good. You know that you're just waiting for the next thing to set her off.

She won't improve while you're with her. She has to figure that out on her own. She'll never have the drive to while you're with her.

When you break up you have to break all contact. Don't look back, don't let her weasel back into your life.

It's for your own good. It's for her own good.

You don't like the you that you are when you're with her. You are bitter and tired.