ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Guys:

What can make you so obsessed with a certain girl? So much that despite how unlikely it would be for you two to be together, or even after her bullshit you are still pining after her. Lasting years.

What causes such a strong case of oneitis?

>>17799725
>What causes such a strong case of oneitis?
Chemical imbalances? Or sometimes a person just hits that sweet spot of everything you desire in someone, it is hard to forget someone like that is all.

>>17799725
a lot of dudes are spergy and if a single even mildly attractive girl pays attention to them at all they can get hooked. For a more well rounded guy to get hooked like that on someone the chick has to be either exeptionally attractive, or connect with their personality in a way most women don't.

>>17799725

I'd actually like to know the answer to this too. I'm a guy and I get bored of girls really easily and move to the next one every few months. I really want a steady relationship.

>>17799486 #
You might associate aggression with masculinity, strength, passion. You might turn away more quality guys because you shy away from kindness, assuming they're making fun of you or that they have ulterior motives.
Based off of my experiences with girl friends who end up with bad men.

>>17799725
I wish I knew. It would be so much easier. I don't fall in love very often (we're talking 3-5 times in my lifetime so far), but when it happens .. fuck me, it's like my brain is utterly convinced that she is the most perfect woman ever to have lived on this planet. I think there's quite an upside to such kind of attraction, but it has to be controlled very carefully should a relationship ever happen.

Girls:

I met this chick on a friend's birthday, we were both a bit drunk and shared a short 15 or 20 minute conversation where she appeared pretty interested, I asked for her phone number and we texted once but she appeared bored at any attempt for conversation I had, so I decided to not text her again.
Now she invited me to her birthday, apparently she made a facebook event, but we don't have each other on there, so she invited me by text.
Anyway, is she just being polite? Or does she really want me to be at her birthday?

>>17799725
cortisol production increases and serotonin production decreases. Its pretty well studied at this point, your brain functions similar to that of someone with OCD.

Need some advice from people more familiar with this situation.

Turns out, I'm this girl's fall back guy, she's in an online relationship with a guy she hasn't met. I recently started withdrawing from her, and she has begun to put a lot of effort into keeping my interest. Should I just ask her out and get it over with? I am not really one for drama.

Is there that one person that you loved that will always have a special place in your heart?
Would you ever consider getting back with that person even though things wont be the same?

>>17799863
>Should I just ask her out and get it over with?
Yes.

>I am not really one for drama.
If it gets to drama just cut the cord.

>>17799878
>Is there that one person that you loved that will always have a special place in your heart?
Yes.

>Would you ever consider getting back with that person even though things wont be the same?
Yes, probably, depends on how my life were going on at the moment.

>>17799878
Yes
Yes

>>17799725
>What can make you so obsessed with a certain girl?
Generally they get enamored by the idea of her, not who she actually is. You don't actually acknowledge their flaws, and you see them as more of something to strive for than a well rounded person you want in your life. This is often amplified by a lack of experience with women and honestly people in general.

>>17799878
Sort of and no respectively.

soo i have kind of fallen for a girl who might be married, what do i do now? just rot away knowing i can never have her?

>>17799878
Yes and no.

>>17799924
>>17799934
Why not?

>>17799941
I was very immature at the time, she was just using me to get something she needed. Our personalities just don't match. I think she is a great person regardless, and I learned a lot, even if in the hard way.

Is it turn off when a guy hasn't had sex in two years?

>>17799941
Not really a healthy relationship. She was borderline, I'm slightly on the spectrum. Managed to bring out the worst in each other. I've improved and I hope she has too, but I have no interest in playing with fire again.

What are your *real* thoughts on dating, marrying, and raising a family with a transgender girl?

>>17799965
No to all. I wouldn't hate them for being trans, but I would consider them a mentally ill man. You don't hate someone because they suffer from schizophrenia do you?

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Both:

What do you do when:
>You have no real life or online or even FB friends to talk to
>Live in the fucking middle of nowhere
>have no friends
>Nearest town is 10 miles away
What do I even do..

>>17799971

Browse 4chan.

>>17799971
>Nearest town is 10 miles away

Do you drive? You could just go and join some kind of a club in the town. There might be some kind of language or musical instrument class there, or a jogging club or something.

>>17799878
>Yes
>Probably, but only if she starts to try to recover from depression

>>17799971
Move. If you can afford it or get a job so you can afford it, move.

>>17799965
Are you gay

>>17799952
believe it or not you don't have to disclose this. wow i know right??? just be good at getting the girl off and you'll be fine

>>17800028
I'm in a similar position to him. My drive to college is about 50 minutes, and for years the apex of fine dining here was chicken fried steak.

Truly it is suffering.

Does anyone else get irritated how TV and Music normalizes sex so much? They make it seems like a hobby that everyone does. Like it's so casual and all.

Honestly just seeing all that shit, and the way it's treated really makes me not want to do it. It makes me want to avoid sex.

>>17799725
Men who exhibit these traits are usually pretty lonely, have never receive any compliments/affection, or are inexperienced in intimacy. Sometimes they find that girl just looks unique and can't find anyone else that looks like her. I also agree with that other anon that they get attached to their perception of her, even if that's not who she actually is. Getting her becomes a goal that they have to work hard for against all odds. If she's not interested, it doesn't mean the two aren't compatible, it means they've failed their goal, they didn't try hard enough, they did something wrong, etc.

>>17800065
>makes me want to avoid sex
you are so full of shit. If you want to get laid then you have to admit to yourself that YOU are the problem.
Sex will always be part of the media as it is one of the easiest ways to get a person's attention. Its been that way since long before you were born. You only notice it now because you aren't getting any.

>>17799725

This>>17800087

I'm a 26 year old average looking male. but even still, I've never met a girl who actually gave a shit about me except for this one. She was incredible. Gorgeous, and so nice. She helped me make a lot of positive changes in my life. We had a great thing going between us, but she had to move for work. and after time she became busy, so we talked less. She ended up meeting a better man. it torn me up finding that out. that was 4 years ago. I haven't even attempted to talk to any girls since. The last hug I got was from that girl. and I intend to keep it that way. I know I'll never have her back. but there is nothing else I can do. what am I suppose to do??

>>17800092

I'm not full of shit. seeing this shit on TV really does make me intentionally avoid sex

>>17800065
20F here, you're not the only one. I would rather limit sex to a committed relationship and people think I'm weird for this.

>>17800115

I agree with you. TV now adays makes it seem no different than grabbing a beer. like wtf, you're literally molding into someone else's body and swapping fluids. That's intimate as fuck. Why just do that with random people??

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>>17800092
You have to be some kind of deluded to not think today's culture is overly sexualized. And if you don't think it's immoral to manipulate people's sexual desire in order to sell some sort of product or service, I feel bad for you.

You won't listen to what I have to say and you'll just jump around and try to tell me I'm not sexually experienced or whatever gymnastics you'll do to run around this.

>>17800150
IDGAF if people hook up but I'd rather they not rub it in other people's faces.

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When do I have the "relationship talk"? Like when do I ask the girl I'm seeing if we're in a relationship, if we should be exclusive, how we feel about each other, etc. ? How am I supposed to go about doing this?

Don't want to end the relationship before it even starts.

>>17800199
It's hard to tell, and it is always a shot in the dark. My advice is, if you really like this person, you should try your best to be as open as possible.

Hit her up and ask "hey are we dating now?" This has worked for me before. I did it really fucking early as a joke and it just worked. I just started treating her like my girlfriend and she realized she liked it and she went along with it. Just gotta' get lucky, I guess.

Girls and guys

I've been dating this girl for 4 weeks now. We had a discussion a few days ago, and I told her that I'm not going to be ready for a girlfriend for a long time. I have too much on my mind for it. She said she understands and that she hopes I change my mind one day. But she still calls me "baby". all the time when we text. Don't get me wrong, I like her. But I told her for personal reasons it'll be a few years before I feel ready for a relationship with anyone. Why does she still call me baby? I mean she said she understood my feelings. So, would you keep things as they were just for fun sake?

Girlfriend one morning says "if you (me) want kids then we should break up because I don't" I say ok and end it. Few hours later theres many missed phone calls and voicemails. Wants to really talk it over. Get back together on the notion we'll bring it up again in a few months. Time comes and I say we have an expiration date. Tells me she's been talking to her friends and family and they say it isn't that bad and she would with me. I don't really believe it, I think she just doesn't want to lose me and be out of a relationship while her

>>17799965
I'd date one but never marry and definitely never consider raising a family with one. I know a few trans people, have dated some and they can be pretty mentally unstable. So marriage and family is very much out of the question for me personally.

To anyone who there who has given oral sex, what does a dick or a vag taste like? Would you say taste differs from person to person?

>>17800199
My gf and I had the relationship talk after a few weeks. We were just out walking and it was just a simple conversation saying it's a relationship and we're boyfriend girlfriend. Don't over complicate it dude, just let it progress naturally and be casual when it comes up.

When you first start dating someone, do you mention exes offhandedly?

I had a girl I dated not too long ago who broke up with me who did that. I'm thankful she did broke up with me, though I am still a little bitter about it.

She would mention exes and what her exes did and past dates. Once after we had sex, she talked about about giving a BJ to an ex in the past. It was in the context of sex, but I felt weird she brought it up. But she did mention other exes and other dates at other times. I feel it's uncouth to mention anything like that so I never do it - I'm just wondering if it's a common thing to do.

>>17799725
usually loneliness + an average or better girl giving the slightest shit about you. oneitis is rarely flattering
>>17799878
yes and most likely no
>>17799952
only if you are a whiney faggot about it
>>17799965
might casually date one, but i have no desire to marry or start a family with a transgender girl.
>>17799971
pick up some solitary hobbies. buy a guitar and git gud, learn how to/get better at fishing
>>17800428
vag varies based on hygiene and diet. at best, it will taste like skin with a little piss/sweat, at worst it will be putrid
i've never tasted dick, but i'd assume sweaty skin. all bets are off if they have smegma. semen varies with diet

>>17800428
Vag doesn't taste great, I'm sure it varies from person to person but the first I ever had was so horrible that I can't bring myself to try again. It has a very sort of metallic flavor, not like blood or copper but... I don't know, something. The smell of it is also a put off.

That being said though, women I've been with said dick isn't bad really. I'm very hygienic about my own, so I never had any complaints at all, infact they've been more willing since being clean gives it a pleasant flavoring somehow.

>>17800477
if it is appropriate for the context
>"have you been to this restaurant before?"
went here once with an ex, the food was good
>"have you done _____ before?"
once with an ex, it was ______

there are appropriate ways to talk about past relationships and it's healthy, but the trick is to not get too detailed about it

>>17800496
Yeah, she did that a lot. She'd get detailed about it.

"Yeah, once I gave my ex a BJ in a hot tub"

Uhh, yeah okay.

>>17800502
That's really not that detailed. If she gave you some full story about it, then that would be too much but a simple "yeah I blew him in a hot tub once" isn't that bad.

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>>17799965
No to all counts. They can be trans or whatever, but the risk factors with them being batshit is far too great for me to risk having any kind of relationship with them.

We can work together, we can hang out at events together, I am not going to get close to them for self-protection reasons. Sorry, but the risk of my face and name ending up all over Tumblr is just far too great.

>>17800065
27M. Yes I do get annoyed by it. Sex to me is something just so personal. I could fap to porn 20 times a day, but the thought of porking some girl I had just met seems so...cheap? I also had (Married now) a paralyzing fear of knocking someone up so there's that too.

But yes, I'm irritated that seemingly every sitcom and movie makes it seem like if you don't fuck on the first date that you're somehow weird, or that if you don't go to clubs and parties and casually fuck your friend group then something's wrong. I'm not saying it's bad if you're into that lifestyle or that there aren't many people that do that. But there is a huge chunk of people that only have a few partners their entire lives.

After knowing a girl for a long time, and then successfully dating, and now in an actual relationship. At what point should we talk about sex?

This is someone that I can't risk things going wrong with because I really like them. We've gotten physical everytime we've seen eachother, but not as far as sex. This is partly because we don't have the luxury of privacy. So whenever we get intimate, we don't go the extra mile because in our current situation it could be very risky.

Sometimes I feel like the tension is going to build up too much while we're getting physical that things might progress beyond what we've done so far. But the risk is too high for that.

We both come from repressed religious backgrounds, so even talking about stuff lesser than this can be difficult. But the reason we should discuss it is because once we establish that we're both ready, we can figure out somewhere to go where it is less risky and then I could also bring protection

So how do we start discussing these things without the painful awkwardness?

>>17800588
You shouldn't have to? It should just happen, assuming you're both mature adults. What do you even expect to say; "should we have sex soon?"?

Girls:
I dated a girl for 3 weeks, sex was very good and she was cute, but didnt have that perfect body. She asked me, if i wanted to be together with her and said she has fallen in love with me. I didnt feel it at the moment and said i cant see a future with her. We went no contact afterwards.

I miss her and the sex. Should i reach out to her and try to win her back? Or is it a lost cause?

>>17800602
It has gotten close to just happening, but we can't let it happen in the environment that we see eachother in. We are both adults, but both under very strict rules due to cultural/family reasons (we both do not subscribe to them but must appear as though we do). If we were caught then we could lose a lot. And under the circumstances we are in, we do not have privacy. This is why it might be good for us to discuss things, so we do not risk it all in the moment.

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>>17800621
Very lost cause. Imbecile.

Questions for girls

>you dated your best friend of 5 years
>you guys had a perfect 2 years
>you guys broke up because of outside forces and you eventually found another guy
>he still loves you
>instead of begging and being annoying he calls you and tells you to block him instead because he couldn't handle seeing you two together
>he says he will be back in your life one day when he is ready to
>you tell him you'd like that
>you both end the call crying

One year passes and he makes contact. Would you still give a shit at all or be distant?

Any SWs in this thread?

>>17800636
>he says he will be back in your life one day when he is ready to
cringe

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>>17799725
She has a lot of merchandise.

>>17800716
You know what I mean. We'll talk again when I'm ready.

>>17799725
I wish I knew.
Currently dealing with this, and it's gotten to the point that I've done some stalker like things.

>>17799725
I'm incredibly lonely and have never kissed a girl, so I can't stop thinking about the one girl who showed me interest. Even though she knows me well enough to have lost any interest I can't forget those positive interactions, her desire to be with me. For a normal guy that stuff might be routine, he'll meet many woman and get to this stage with them. For me, it's probably the closest I'll ever get to a genuine relationship and that makes it hard to move past. Please kill me.

>>17800621
>>17800635
Another opinion by anyone?

>>17800862
How long ago was this? If its been less than a month then reach out

How do I ask a girl I knew in highschool if she liked me? I don't plan on pursuing it and we haven't talked since graduation (4 years ago) but I'm just curious for an ego boost.

The less awkward/creepy I can sound the better. Its going to be creepy/awkward to some degree.

>>17800867
He said it's been a year.

>>17800636
I respect my boyfriend, so I'd be distant and ask my friend to not talk to me again.

Hey /adv/,

how often do you text each other at the beginning of the phase where you're just starting to date? There's this guy I have been out with like twice and we haven't said that we're "dating" yet and he texts me every day. I am kind of wary about this texting every day kind of thing (it hasn't happened yet, but I don't want the texts to end up as mere "how are you?" "good and you" routines) so I wanted to ask you what your experiences were?

Guys Did i fuck up and can't redeem myself? I like this guy that i'm sorta friends with, but because I'm stupid, i hung out alone and smoked a shit ton of weed with his friend at 2 in the morning watching netfix and didn't realize his friend was trying to hook up with me.. I just excused myself and left when i realized but....fuck.

>>17800960
You better move in on the guy you like because the clock is ticking now.

>>17800979
I don't understand, why is it ticking?

it is finals week and then xmas break coming up so I won't see him anytime soon.

>>17800982
Well you spent time with his friend alone doing the Netflix and chill meme at 2am which might imply you like the friend. He's going to assume that and probably not even consider liking you back in the future, especially if you won't be seeing him anytime soon after this little event.

>>17800985
Thanks this really makes a lot of sense.

I can't think about this stuff right now I've got research and term papers coming up. If it happens it happens and if it doesn't i'll just take it as my lesson learned not to go around hanging out with people willy nilly.

I'll invite him to something my group is doing after break and not his friend (who is also my neighbor) so we'll see if that leads to anything.

>>17800994
Hopefully it does. It still could be worth while catching up with the guy you like some time soon though.

>>17801001

I met the guy i like this month though so it's all a bit new and we're coworker- friends. I'm not sure how I'd see him soon. Ask if he wants to grab food on campus next week?

>>17801006
Yeah something nice and simple. If you want to imply that you like him more than friends, coffee somewhere is the go to way to say it without saying it.

>>17800958
Next time you get physical escalate it to the point where it seems like it's leading to sex then stop it and explain the situation and why you can't do it. Then you can suggest other places to do it.

based purely on messaging how can you tell if a girl isn't as interested as you? Sometimes she reads the message and I see that she reads it but doesn't respond and it annoys and frustrates me because if I read a message I respond otherwise why open the message?

>>17801017
Shit wrong person, >>17800588

>>17801018
you have answered your own question
she isn't as interested as you
luckily many, many girls exist

>>17801016
Thanks anon. I will ask him then. At least if it goes awkward it's easy to avoid someone at my part time job we both have hahaha

>>17801021
I guess. I'm just skeptical it could be that since when we do talk a lot she talks about me being amazing and things like that.

>>17799755
>>17799763
>>17799794
>>17799823
>>17799851
>>17799924
>>17800087
>>17800097
>>17800483
>>17800743
>>17800784
>>17800854

Hey anons, thanks for answering. To those who have oneitis on a girl that doesn't like them back, go completely NC. Stop talking to them at all if possible. Force yourself to move on. Every minute you waste pining after her is delaying you from meeting someone that will actually love you back.

>>17800958
I'll answer yours though. Yes that's a problem if it annoys you. You need to tell him you're busy and he doesn't have to message you every day.

I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. When my girlfriend and I first started out I rarely ever texted her because of this exact reason. I would send her maybe one text per week, usually with a topic or a link to something just so it has substance. If she responds to that then we continue the conversation. She would never initiate with me. Eventually we started talking more when we got more used to each other.

I think it's fine if it's one text a day at most and it has some substance, as in it isn't just saying hello, what are you doing, etc.

>>17801018
>based purely on messaging how can you tell if a girl isn't as interested as you?
You can't. People text in different ways.
>Sometimes she reads the message and I see that she reads it but doesn't respond and it annoys and frustrates me because if I read a message I respond otherwise why open the message?
Some people just take a while to respond. Don't get hung on it. You can't make any absolute conclusions from it. I would even hide the "seen" message if I were you. Sometimes people are in the middle of things or are just not in the mood to talk. Maybe they just don't know how to respond to certain things. Maybe they want to think of something good to say back but can't think of anything. There's a ton of reasons.

The girl I liked took forever to respond, but it turned out she liked me too. So you never know.

>>17800393
>>17800483
>>17800573
Thanks.
Would your thoughts on the matter still be the same if the girl was reasonably well-adjusted, save for some mild seasonal depression and occasional difficulties with self-esteem, with a slim-to-no risk of any mental breakdown or drama?
If she ticked all your personal boxes for the ideal girl, and then some?

From my pov the biggest disadvantage I have is not being able to have biological kids, and I don't know how big if a deal that actually is, especially when there's adoption or surrogate-mothers availible.

Personality and mental health are things that can be improved and managed, at least for me personally.
Thanks in advance. :)

I've got a really stupid question.
I asked a girl if she wants to go out and grab a beer with me anytime soon, she responded with a "Yes".

Should I add that I meant going out together, without anyone else around? We always hung out with other friends and I don't want to be misunderstood.

>>17801064
>Would your thoughts on the matter still be the same if the girl was reasonably well-adjusted, save for some mild seasonal depression and occasional difficulties with self-esteem, with a slim-to-no risk of any mental breakdown or drama? If she ticked all your personal boxes for the ideal girl, and then some?

I suppose in that way, yes I could be swayed.

>From my pov the biggest disadvantage I have is not being able to have biological kids, and I don't know how big if a deal that actually is, especially when there's adoption or surrogate-mothers available.

This would still be a real problem for me. I'd want them to be biologically made up from both of us and the idea of surrogates and adoption in all honesty just isn't the same thing for me.

If it weren't for wanting to have a family, then yes I'd probably marry but for me personally, I'd want there to one day be a family that has come from both of us. This won't go for everyone of course but it does for me personally. Sorry anon.

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>>17799699
alright girls

should I learn how to swing dance or how to dance the Argentine Tango?

>>17799965
No.

>>17800867
>>17800939
Was less than a month ago. Dont know where you i typed that it was a year ago?

>>17801124
Whatever you like most.

I'm in a relationship but I put up so many walls of lies. The guilt is really getting to me already and I'm thinking of ending it. I don't know if this is the right thing to do because she'll be devastated. Or I could just go on with this.

Should I end it? I don't know how else to get rid of the guilt, if any of you have any ideas to share please do.

>>17801185
It's a little hard without us knowing what it is you're guilty about.

>>17801184
the thing is, I suck at dancing, so I dont know how to dance at all

>>17801185
Lies about what?

>>17801187
>>17801205
A bundle of white lies, and a few lies to get my ass out of trouble (like about going out drinking with the lads or anything to do with other ladies). She's a bit of a controlling one. Never did anything illegal or cheated though but I mightily disliked having to inform her of everything I'm up to, so I threw some lies instead.

>>17801201
It's not like you'll ever have to dance tango or swing at the club.

TO girls:
we're classmates in college (but have almost no classes together, no contact there). We talked a few times on FB and all nice like and once I asked if she knew of a place with good music and drinks she said no and minutes later asked me if I was asking her out.
Thing is, I'm always the one to start conversations. So my question is, should I poke some more, or wait to see if she contacts me and, if she doesnt, move on?

>>17800065
Personally I am extremely pick about who I have sex with, but I don't particularly care how the media portray it. Violence isn't as all over the place either as criminal series make it seem, fiction is for exaggerating those aspects of life we find thrilling and exciting (and that in reality all too often are thrilling and exciting exactly because they are rare).

>>17800428
I've only tastes one dick and my own pussy. They both taste "intimate", but not bad. It's a smell/taste comparable to clean skin or fresh sweat. That is provided the person is hygienic and doesn't have a fucked up diet (eg barely getting fluids).

>>17800621
No. It's an asshole move to breach the no contact agreement after probably hurting her a lot because you realized the sex was too good for you to miss out on. Find someone else.

>>17801067
Just add something like "cool, I thought it would be nice chatting to you outside of a group setting".

>>17801281
I think the crucial part is what you replied to the question whether you were asking her out and what her response to that was.

>>17801237
If it isn't anything very bad I'm sure you can try to talk it over. As long as you stop doing it I guess.

>>17801297
>I think the crucial part is what you replied to the question whether you were asking her out and what her response to that was.

Ok, so something like (she asked if it was an invitation):
Me: I like the way you think x)
Her: But what, me you and your girlfriend? xD (because the last time she saw me in a concert I was with my now ex and it was 1 month or so ago)

I then made a joke about her going straight for the throat, asked why she assumed it would be a date and she replied that she didn't assume anything, just seemed like my gf wouldn't find it very funny, since she looks like she wouldnt (I'm not english, so Im translating and some expressions might seem awkward)
I then told her that girl was now my ex but I was not going to tell her my life story, like this kind of moment demands or whatever and said goodbye because we had to study (near exam) to which she replied she wasnt expecting me to and didn't want to hear it and wished me a happy study.

So...Long text that begs the question: No more contact 'till she she contacts me and if not, move on or Move on already?

>>17801316
Are you scandis? you both sound pretty autistic desu

Girls, if you already like another guy, would you give a chance to any other guy who approach you? And has any of them ever succeeded?

I'm a guy, in such a situation. I like this girl but I've found out that she likes another guy. But she agreed to a date with me next week.

>>17801316
Damn I'm on the same boat somewhat. This girl I fancy knows I was with someone else in the past.

What do?

>>17801316
Doesn't sound too promising to me. Honestly it kind of sounds to me like she was hoping to be able to use your "girlfriend" as a quick and painless excuse to not go on a date with you.

Typically when people carry a torch for someone they jump at the chance to hear personal stories.

>>17801323
>I'm barely figuring out that women have cocks thrown at them on a regular basis.
If you're out of high school, it should be a normal thing for girls to "go on dates" with multiple guys.

>>17801323
If I really like a guy, I'd probably have him in my eyes alone. Any other guy to pursue me, probably wouldn't take them up. But if said guy is probably too extreme of a goal(i.e.: already taken by another girl, rejection is certain, etc.) , after awhile I might open up my heart to someone else.

>>17801323
Depends on how much I like the first guy.
If I had a small crush on a guy but I knew I had no chance to go out with him, yeah, I'd date someone else.
If I had a seriously big crush on a guy, I'd wait - I don't like using other people or leading people on, it'd be man.
If I thought I could go out with a guy I really like, even if we weren't already dating, I wouldn't go out with someone.

>>17801281
I'm in the same situation, but the genders are reversed. I would try talking to her in real life. Maybe texting and such is not her forte. If she is still not giving her share of trying, I would give space. Good luck my guy.

>>17801321
>Calls others autistic
>uses desu

>>17801342
That's what I figure. Or simply doesn't want to read a wall of text from someone she doesn't know all that well.

>>17801361
Thanks, bro. I'm easing up. Last conversation was wednesday and now either she starts one or I'll have to declare it a lost cause.

>>17800301

Anyone?

>>17800301
>>17801405
>I have too much on my mind
I mean clearly if the fucking President can have a wife and kids, you're just "too busy" for life.
She calls you baby because she still loves you. Just because you're a spaz who doesn't know how to relax doesn't mean that she stops loving you. She wants to keep things the same because she's waiting for you.
If I were you, I'd get my shit together and make a little bit of room for her. Unless she's a long-distance girlfriend. Fuck that noise.

>>17801405
Because her attraction/investment did not magically vanish when you said you were not interested. She's flirting with you, or she can't help herself and says it out of endearment.

In the future, don't waste people's time for four weeks before telling them that you're not looking for a relationship (which you already knew)...

>>17801409
>>17801416

I didn't mean for this, really. I've just been dealing with depression and can't handle having a girlfriend. I feel like I don't deserve a girlfriend.

>>17801377
desu I used the abreviation of to be quite honest. nukemoot addeed it to the filter list

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How to fix being ugly for a male?

I googled this question into the abyss.

I fucking tried almost everything but drugs/plastic surgery.
-get fit, did this
-eat healthy
-good hair cut
-good clothing
-the skin on my face is clearer than most women

Women never speak to me at college or the gym(non college gym). The last girl who approached me was a dental student who wanted help with a math problem and had no interest in my whatsoever.

Am i just fucked? Im graduating soon and never even been on a date with a girl. I have plenty of guy friends and guys my age or older will talk to me, generally Im friendly to people. Right now Im planning for a life w/o a wife or family and I've already made some decisions that can't be changed, with more of such decisions looming.

>>17801420
That might be the right decision for you, but once again, going on dates and only telling people after weeks that you're not actually going to offer them a relationship is not a good situation for anyone involved.

I'd just tell the girl you feel like she's still holding onto some hope, that's unfair to her, and cease contact altogether so she can move on and find someone else.

>>17801429
Do you try to approach girls yourself?
Normally girls do not approach guys.

Also - post pic if you want advice.

>>17801429
Girls don't approach guys, you idiot.

>>17801429
Sounds like you just lack confidence or good social skills. Fake it until you make it.

>>17801429
You're trying to play the dating game like a woman. Women prep into being as visually attractive as possible and wait for guys to come to them.

Women coming onto men tend to respond to different kind of signals. If you are not in the upper "league" for attractiveness you'll have to accept that women are never going to flock to you based on looks alone, like they won't to 90% of men. But most people do not instantly fall in love with their SO. They learn over time that this is a pleasant person they have chemistry with. So the better way to show yourself off is by letting your qualities shine through in eg a group setting or college course. Be the one who asks insightful questions or mentor younger students. Be the one who holds everyone's attention in a group because of his storytelling skills or wit.
This is the real way to capture women's sexual interest from barely knowing you - if you're not a model.

And if this doesn't work either, resign to needing to ask women out and/or having to grow a connection over time because you're colleagues or neighbors or something.

>>17799699
Shy girls of /adv/, what are some signs you'll give off if a guy is bothering you but you don't want a confrontation? I've got a crush on a very reserved and quiet young woman and I can't tell if she's just shy or I'm barking up the wrong tree.

>>17801430

When we first met, I did mentioned I was surprised how that happened since girls are something that I have not even been worrying about for the past few years.

>holding on hope

I feel bad about this. I know she shouldn't wait for me. I don't know how to explain that to her, that's why I said it could be years.. but I can't just cut contact because i feel like we have special connections, so I would like to be be friends, genuinely.

For Guys:

How does a girl talk to a guy? I want to talk to a guy but I'm afraid of being just an annoying girl. Should I just deem it a lost cause and not? How does one approach the situation?

>>17799965
I can't impregnate a man, so your question is moot

>>17801431
No, like I said none talk to me. I don't even know which ones to approach. The last time I tried talking to like the only 2 girls in my classes they were just disinterested, so Im not a social idiot and I stopped talking to them.
Also I've posted a pic on here asking for adv, I got told I have 8/10 looks by an anon claiming to be female and others told me I could get girls off looks alone if I wanted.
>If i was 8/10 women would approach me
So posting a picture yielded nothing

>>17801444
Context? Just do small talk first.

>>17801441
I'll probably avoid you at all costs and seem cold. If she seems like she wants you around, but is just shy, you're good. What is she like to you?

>>17801444
Just do it.. Most guys don't really notice anything unless you are very obvious.

>>17800960
> wow I want this guy
> so I'm gonna go fool around with his greetings instead of him
Everyday my desire for a relationship dies a little more

Guys and girls

I know girls will relate to this question better, but I'm really curious if any other guys get this too.

Does anyone here get sexual attention from the opposite sex but feel unworthy of it? It's rare for me to get sexual attention from girls, but it does happen from time to time, the thing is I don't feel like I deserve it so I ignore it. But right now I have a female friend who keeps mentioned sex things to me, she's really dropping hints she wants to do it. But I can't get into it because I can't understand why anyone would want sex with me. Why? I don't think I'm attractive. I'm a really skinny guy. I'm 26 but look like I'm 21. I feel gross in my body, so why would any girl want to have sex with me??

>>17801447
We've only talked like twice. He's in my mutuals group, and we have a class together, but we don't really talk. He seems like I could get along with him very well. The only two times we've spoke is when I accidentally texted him (my friend gave me his number but gave no context so when I texted him i had no clue who I was talking to) and when one of our friends was over and told me to send photos of said friend to him. If it helps, he's kind and one could say protective since I'm the smallest one in the group.

>>17801446
That's not true. Guys don't get approached routinely. Not even attractive guys.

Start being more social. Get hobbies that aren't a sausage fest. Join a class. Expand your social circle. Approach guys while doing those things.

>>17801454
Take your head out of your own ass and fuck her brains out

>>17801448
Depends on the day. Sometimes she full on refuses to look at me and actively avoids me, other days I'm the only person she says a word to. But then again I'm one of the only people who say anything to her at all.

But I think you've answered my question, thanks.

I've just never dealt with any woman who wasn't friendly and talkative

>>17799725

I still want to be with the girl that flirted back with me in 9th grade to get me to help her cheat on tests. She showed me attention that nobody else had ever done and she was absolutely gorgeous at the time. This was in 2004.

Even though she has two kids with two different people and is fat and ugly now, I still want her and would do anything for her, but she never gave me an opportunity to even take her out to dinner. And trust me, I tried and I tried and I tried.

I've even lost 75 pounds since high school, look decent now, have multiple vehicles and own my own house, along with a good job. I've still failed, even though we live a few hours away from one another now. I want to be with her still but she's in a relationship right now, maybe when this one ends I'll try one last time. I'm getting ready to turn 27 and I've been unable to secure relationships with other women, so this is really I feel my last chance at having something in life.

>>17801454
>Does anyone here get sexual attention from the opposite sex

Ha ha, no. I know exactly why I'm unattractive , I suggest you get over yourself and enjoy life. No one cares if you don't want to fuck you, what matters is if other people want to fuck you, if that makes sense

>>17801464

I can't..

>>17801474
Are you impotent? I don't get it.

>>17801474
Yes you can
Literally text her "cum over" and get a few six packs our some liquor

>>17801475

man, sometimes I can't even fap because I start fapping and think "I'm unattractive as fuck why am I even doing this" and it causes me to go soft mid fap.

>>17801476

Haha that was clever, it made me laugh

Anons how do i get those single gorgeous girls that fucking maintain that slender body to get interested in fucking a married man? I'm definitely looking for a typical sugar daddy scenario because it's hot as fuck and jerking it to their socially media isn't cutting it for me anymore. My dick needs in on that obviously tight pussy, so bad.

>>17801486
Go to sugar daddy websites or leddit. Plenty of people looking for SD but keep in mind most aren't dtf. They just want a SD

>>17801443
I was afk but
>but I can't just cut contact because i feel like we have special connections
is entirely selfish. She is obviously wanting more from this than you do, you are not able to offer her what she needs.

You don't get to go "I don't have priority for you to be my girlfriend so what you're looking for you're not going to get, BUT I do want to keep you around so you can take this position now". It is obvious that she's not able to flip a switch and see you as a friend or she wouldn't be calling you baby all the time.

>>17801454
You have to let go of people "deserving" sex/love. The only rightful judge of who she gives away her sexual attention to is the girl herself, and she obviously deems you worthy, so that's all that matters.

You don't even have a pussy and are presumably not attracted to men, so why do you think you're a great jury for whether or not you are attractive in the first place?

>>17801486
/cgl/ is full of young idiots who are desperate for money and attention. Find some kind of gothic lolita forums and start spamming your offer.

Keep in mind that age has nothing to do with pussy tightness. Except for maybe childbirth.

I tried to lose virginity with girl on tinder. She came over we hung out /watched a movie for a while, and afterwards I just went in for a kiss and we had sex. I sucked terribly and came quick. I didn't let her know this, and I feel pretty bad. She was cool and I'd like to see her again, maybe get ore comfortable with her first . Do you think I have a chance? What can I text her?

>>17801482
Stop thinking about yourself dude, focus on HER body, and how you are going to touch her butt or something

>>17801501

I don't know, it just doesn't feel right to me. It makes no sense to me why and girl would want me.

>>17801512

Right. But the attention she gives me makes me feel awkward. I really hate my body, so I don't feel comfortable being naked with a girl. the one time I had sex in the past I refused to take off my shirt

>>17801513
Love doesn't make sense. Sex doesn't make sense. Even if you're with the hottest person in the world, you are swallowing someone's bodily fluids and inserting part of your body in someone else's wet orifice in a way that looks ridiculous and makes sloppy slapping sounds while you go at it.

It makes zero sense to feel like this one person you happen to know is the most beautiful thing since the big bang.

But sense doesn't matter. Love and attraction aren't about objective truth but about subjective perception.

>>17801518

>you are swallowing someone's bodily fluids and inserting part of your body in someone else's wet orifice in a way that looks ridiculous and makes sloppy slapping sounds while you go at it

Delete this

>>17801516
You need to train your mind to think about you partner. Describe her for us, is she skinny? chubby? how big are her boobs? this might seem shallow but if it makes you less self-centered then so be it.

>>17801525
What? It's reality, try looking at porn if you're not in the mood at all. Sex is pretty comical and gross if you discount hormones and emotions.

>>17801526

um, she's a short brunette, F cups. she's not chubby, but she's also not as skinny as me. umm, she's a innie.

>>17801533
life is comical and gross though if you strip away all meaning

>>17801533

yes I know, but the way you described it was very off-putting. and it made me think of the 1 time I had sex in the past, and well that's exactly how it was.. I felt gross after

>>17801539
Most human on human interactions stripped of all meaning might be puzzling and weird but not gross or comical. Even if only because they do not focus on naked bodies.

>>17801543
That was the point, to highlight that the appeal in sex goes above and beyond what it technically is. And if he can acknowledge that the reasons for enjoying sex and finding it hot specifically are already for a large part subjective, it might be easier to come to terms with his own attractiveness being subjective.
Sorry to hear about your bad experience.

>>17801543
you should get help for that

ive literally shoved an 8 inch maglite up a womans ass and then double fucked her with it until she couldn't walk and i never felt gross

>>17801536
Now try to visualize the ways you'd explore her body, how would you pleasure her and so on

>>17801547
I doubt the issue they have was with the act of sex itself as opposed to the act in combination with a complete lack of feeling safe, desired and/or attracted to the other person.

>>17801551
you sound like an insecure thot
i hope you find a woman who is willing to handhold you back to normalcy

>>17801547
Hot as fuck.

>>17801557
yea
i miss her a lot sometimes

>>17801555
Okay big man.

Soo I really liked this girl started texting and talking but then one day in class whe every body left expect me and mine friends she strats higging everyone except me
What does this mean????

>>17801550

I just can't. Because I'd have to be naked, and she's be touching. I can't visualize

>>17801545

Yeah..

>>17801506
Bump

>>17801495
Thanks i'll look those up, hopefully i find legit hot girls and not trolls or fuglies hiding on the internet.

>>17801503
>/cgl/
Might you happen to know the stats on how many ladies with the 'hot' toned body type, i'm after a very specific look so not just anybody will do.

>gothic lolita
I'm looking for the hot bikini body type so therefore the girls need to have legit bikini shots.

>tight pussy
I'm sure i won't be disappointed with what i'm after, these kinds of girls seem like the type to not put out to begin with. It's definitely a case of too hot and young for you when it comes down to it.

My ex bf still keeps something that belonged to me, something really useless that i've told him to throw away. Why? Would that mean he still has feelings and has a hard time to move on?

>>17801629

>Would that mean he still has feelings and has a hard time to move on?

Probably. That or it's a reminder of better times. It's like when you go on a vacation and get a souvineer. You look at it and remember the great times you had. Not objectifying you, but it could be the same. He could look at it and think of times you both spent together that made you both happy

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Can I have advice to what to change?
Except haircut I am growing it.

>>17801642

Dude the only thing I WOULD change is your hair. Cut it. Shorter

>>17801642
Glasses and hair

>>17801644
>>17801650
What kind of hair and/or glasses?

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>>17801656

>>17801642
Glass and hair.

And work out a bit more, you look weak.

>>17801672

>you look a bit weak

That's mean

>>17801679
Why? That's easily fixed by dieting and weights. It's not a birth defect

>>17801679
Oh I'm sorry.
You look perfect and you don't need any improvement at all.
Be yourself. You're beautiful the way you are.

>>17801685

It's hard for some

>>17801685
>>17801672
>>17801687
Chill people I am already working out, the angle made me look twinkier than I am

>>17801687

that's not what I'm saying, but just saying "you're weak" is degrading. But saying "you should go workout more" is more positive.

"You're weak" makes me feel like a piece of shit, and unmotivates me completely

>>17801640
I just find it kinda weird. I got rid of almost everything because they prevented me from moving on! I kinda regret doing that but everytime i find something that reminds me of him I can't help but cry.
While he kept a really silly thing that belonged to be even though he wasnt supposed to. I guess he has just moved on.

Girls...

There is this girl, we've met quite a few times, chat quite a bit via text/snapchat. We have kissed and done a bit extra.

Recently she has started sending me poop pics of her own creation. Now, I think this is hilarious and I really do like this girl.

What signal do you think, if any, is she trying to send here?

>>17801701
Mating signal, what else

>>17801506
Bump

>>17801486
Seeking Arrangements and /soc/ (but they're flaky there)
Fetlife, tumblr

>>17801486
Also camgirls tend to use Twitter I guess, and you can probably find girls who cam and sugar pretty easy

>>17801454
Sexual attraction is more than what your physical body is. Because it's a way for our species to decide who would be a good choice for furthering our kind. That goes much deeper than physical. Going into immune system and smells, it can go deeper than anything you can see at all.

Let it happen.

>girlfriend constantly complaining about being lonely (with me) despite spending usually 5-6 hours together every day, she can't really come up with a reason really
>Alright maybe something's wrong let's work to figure it ou-
>she just acts passive aggressive with me and like she's annoyed and angry with me
>doesn't even tell me goodnight before going to bed that's how annoyed she is at me

What's going on? When we're together things usually run smoothly except when she's annoyed about something else and lets it seep into our hanging out.

>>17801441
Turn my shoulders away, hunched to look smaller. Feet pointing away. Avoid eye contact completely. Answering any questions as blandly as possible. Ignoring obvious conversational cues to elaborate on a simple question, or to ask you a question.

Basically, disengage.

If the shy girl makes an effort to hold eye contact, and will ask you questions to continue the conversation, that's good. Or she's too polite for her own good.

>>17801724
She might feel like you aren't connecting intellectually. That even though you are right next to each other, you aren't really doing things together. Maybe she thinks you should be doing cute things for her or whatever.

I suggest discussing the 5 love languages together. Google it. You're obviously not speaking the same ones.

>>17801733
Our days together are usually spent with her being annoyed at something and getting quiet the whole time (then getting annoyed at me for not talking).

Things were fine until 1.5 months ago and I'm acting the exact same

>>17801470
Dude... no. This is really bad. You're in love with the fantasy you have of her, not the actual her. I had this with a guy who was the first to show me any positive attention. He used to be attractive and nice, then at one point completely changed. I wondered why I still had oneitis on him despite him being absolutely unsuitable for me. It was because I was in love with the old him and my fantasy of him, believing he was still there.

You're ruining any chances of happiness with a girl by acting like this. If you do get with her you're going to be severely disappointed and feel even worse.

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A question for the femanon out there.

I used to be quite the autistic fuck, like talked to few people out there, lived most of my life studying law and playing video games.

Got my graduation etc etc, now fast foward, with my career starting to get on track, I finally started meeting women, getting laid and so on.

Though I finally met this women and I felt that we are really close on regards of tastes and body language and thoughts though during the date even we kissed she felt unsure and said that my eyes and the way that I looked to her made her remember someone that brought her problems in the past. So this statement made me feel really insecure and now I'm wondering when I should call her to go out again and how to behave without looking needy.

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How do I look. Anything that I can change?
Bonus: What would you do if I come over to you and start a conversation?

>>17801814

>that coat

Would tip fedora.

What's the difference between someone who says they love you and someone that actually loves you

>>17801829
I don't understand.

>>17801839
You look like a faggot in this coat. Try growing your hair, and perhaps get a fade haircut.

>>17801814
You can improve your photography skills. Has no one told you not to have the light coming from the back of your subject?

>>17801847
I'm balding. Growing hair is no option.

>>17801850
I didn't think about that. Next time I will pay more attention :)

>>17801834
"I love you" is a phrase that is thrown around too carelessly these days. If someone truly loves you, you'll be the only thing they see and they'll make every moment with you special.

>>17801719
>let it happen

You have no idea how hard it is when you feel undesirable.

>>17801814
Gang signs are so passe

>>17801881
>implying
I've had people rather stand than sit next to me in buses.

>>17801884

Ok. Well I'm sorry to hear that..

But, I don't know how to just "let it happen". It feels wrong

>>17801884
I've had women get up and move to another table because I sat down nearby

Sometimes it's hard for others to imagine what it's like for some folks

>>17801714
>/soc/ aka 4chan
I don't believe i'll find any normies there, girls here have proven to be the 'don't stick your dick in crazy' type too, mental deficiency in females on this site is quite unattractive.

>tumblr
Too much extra curricular pictures to sift through on this one.

>>17801716
>camgirls
How do i go about luring one out into the open?

Anyone got sugar daddy stories/experiences?

>>17801712
Yes you have a chance. Most girls dont care that much how the first time. If she decided that she wants to sleep with you the first time, she will sleep with you a second time or more. Just try to make her horny again and finish her off otherwise, best is probably fingers.

How common is it for Asian American (or Western country Asians) guys to be self-hating of their own race?

Recently I met a cute fellow Asian American, but when I tried to flirt with him, he said he doesn't date Asians. He said he preferred to date a white girl. Why date a white girl when he could have someone with the same cultural background and heritage? It boggles my mind

>>17801935

Is he from Idaho?

One of my friends who lives in Idaho and is a stereotypical Asian and super into anime. But he HATES Asians. I don't understand why, but he always would say "I fucking hate my people"

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>>17801951
>>17801935
Very strict family creation summed with some sort of bullying or fucked up goal because of being asian.

There you go, I'm asian south american, but the behavior its the same, I'm still attracted to other asians girls but know several friends that has this issue and don't want to be with one.

>>17799699
Question for girls.
My girlfriend has pretty severe depression and it's destroyed her sex drive. She hasn't been able to get in the mood for a long time. When I try to initiate sex she doesn't really respond to me. What can I do to get her horny?

I like Asian women, just never had any luck with them. Hmong girls seem cool.

>>17799699
Where to go for a first date? I've read the FAQ but it's kind of different. I've know her for years and we've always been close. So the usual shit like coffee doesn't really make sense between us. Any ideas? Movies sounds good?

>>17802036
Is she on SSRIs or something similar? That totally killed my sex drive, not much to be done about it either - I switched to a different kind though which had the exactly opposite effect. Talk to her about that maybe.

>>17802045

She was on 3 different SSRIs and she just stopped taking them a couple of weeks ago. The sex drive issue had been happening before then.

Apparently now she is dealing with SSRI withdrawal. I could push her to try a different prescription, but she doesn't want to be dependent on pills.

>>17800982

>xmas

Tumblr please.

I'm a male here. Does anyone get super depressed after hooking up with someone random? It's like the days following I feel like complete shit despite how much friends praise me for sleeping with a hot girl. Maybe I shouldn't let them sleep over, too much physical contact for someone you don't know well?

>>17801087

>2016

>marrying

>marrying with a tranny

>>17801064
>relatively mentally sound
that's definitely a positive, but my preferences are for biologically female girls. my biggest reason for not wanting to marry/start a family with a transgirl is that the social stigma is too much. my family would never accept it and i'd be socially ostracized. I'm straight, but I'd haver a better chance at being accepted if I were in a gay relationship rather than with a transgendered person

>>17801738
I'm not saying she's being sane. She doesn't know how to express what she wants. Since you speak different love languages, she's thinking "well he should just be DOING the thing if he really loved me" Which is silly. But you gotta talk calmly.
Sounds like your love language might be quality time. She's got something else. Show her the 5 love languages and talk to her.

this is a question to both of you boys and girls
i think someone i know has blocked me from whatsapp
there was a time where i couldnt see their whatsapp profile pic or last seen status
now a friend added me and that person to a group chat and now i can see if theyve changed their profile pic or status if i check the group info and after that the contact changes to that new status and that doesnt happen if i check that persons contact info by myself through my contact list
did that person block me or put me in the not show anything whatsapp list?

>>17802055
That's tough, but I definitely understand she doesn't want to take any more pills.
But if she's off them all now, she should be feeling 'normal' sooner than later, if the SSRIs were (partly) responsible

>>17801444
just talk to them. as long as you're not hemorrhaging spaghetti from every orifice you'll be fine
>trips witnessed

>>17802102
It's hard to adapt this mindset, but there are 2 outcomes. You talk to them, they don't like you, you guys don't get together. This is basically the same as not talking at all, it just feels more awkward at first, but at least you tried, no one will think less of you besides your self, and that's only if you let it get to you.

Or you talk to him and it goes well, you become friends, partners, etc. Success!

>>17799699
On behalf of men, I ask: "Why can't we be friends"?

>>17802197
Hormones.

>>17802197
>>17802218
>This ^

>>17802197
if /r9k/ and /fit/ accurately represent how men see women, that's why.

>>17799838
Not girl but there's no reason for her to be polite she prob wants you there cause you're fun

>>17799928
Fuck her, get the husband to find out she's cheating. Make it seem like he found out because she fucked up

>>17801547
Funny as fuck

>>17802197
because I dont want to hear you mention "Me and my boyfriend..." every 5 minutes you boring twat

>>17802197
If you mean after a relationship its because its literally too goddamn hard. Shit progressed too much for takebacks

If there was no relationship at all though i dont believe theres a reason you cant though. Even if we confessed, its still pretty possible IMO

>>17799928
Find someone who isn't taken. Nothing good can come from this. If she leaves her husband for you, best case scenario, there will be so many twisted feelings about it that it won't be what you're imagining it will be. And remember, if she can do it to her husband, she can do it to you too.

I feel like me and my boyfriend (LDR) are growing distant. When I want to hang out, he's usually playing a game or busy with other stuff.
I'm sure he doesn't mean to be distant, but it bothers me. I don't want to outright tell him "Give me more attention or I'll be upset", but I guess that's really all it boils down to.

>>17801642
Get a nose job

How do i get my ex back?

>>17802578
Kidnap her

The girl I like and have been texting for a while texted me last week calling me "an ass goblin."

what the fuck is this supposed to mean? Does she hate me or is this some kind of modern ironic complement?

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This guy I was seeing broke up with me over text. We're still Facebook friends. Would you:
>defriend
>block
>put on restricted so you can see his stuff but he can't see yours

I'm not particular to creeping, but to be bitchy, I like the slight power play of putting him on my restricted list. Thoughts?

>>17802076
>I'm a male here. Does anyone get super depressed after hooking up with someone random? It's like the days following I feel like complete shit despite how much friends praise me for sleeping with a hot girl. Maybe I shouldn't let them sleep over, too much physical contact for someone you don't know well?

Do what makes you happy. If flings aren't the thing for you, don't do them.

Even before I had my first totally random fling, I already knew I wasn't the type that would enjoy it. One night I was drunk and did it anyway just to see: It was BY FAR my worst sexual experience and proved everything I already knew: I'm not the type that likes sex for just sex.

Fast forward a few years, I meet someone I think is pretty interesting, end up having a one night stand, but this is complete different because, although we don't know each other too well, we just share a certain connection that made us feel like we really got each other and that we had chemistry off the charts (We've not kept contact but we've bumped in to each other again after, same thing still kinda exists--though the reality is we live about half a thousand miles away and neither of us is the LDR type)

That was one of my best experiences ever.

There are no rules in life that say everyone has to do this or be that way, do what makes you happy.

Will my ex ever contact me again?

>>17802612
What's the context?

>>17802653

I was texting her letting her know about my work schedule (actually my band's schedule but that's kind of a minor detail)

Girls:
My girlfriend is friends with her exes. One of them is from out of state and just came into town. She decided to go hang out with him today. She's texted me a few times but she's been hanging out with him for like 6 hours.

Should I be concerned? Or is that normal?

>>17802673

Not acceptable, bruh. You are getting BLACKED as we type.

>>17802687
Fuck, you're probably right.
She checks her phone constantly and facebook says she hasn't been online in over an hour. That literally never happens unless she's asleep.

>>17802642
You're right, but sometimes I feel like I need the validation. Honestly I was having a better time Cuddling on the couch with a movie than having sex, I need to learn to not be self destructive.

>>17802638

Not sure he would give a fuck to be honest.

In the first place... your wording kind of makes me suspicious to be honest...

"broke up" does not pair with "this guy I was seeing"

If you guys were boyfriend/girlfriend, in a mutual exclusive relationship for multiple months, then yeah that was a kind of shit thing for him to do.

But if you guys were casually dating for a few weeks... you weren't really in a relationship to begin with, so you can't say you "broke up", on top of that the shallowness of your mutual history means you don't really owe each other anything, so a "Hey, it was nice to meet you, but we don't really have chemistry" text is perfectly valid.

Anyway.... If you want to "be bitchy", go ahead, but like I said, don't know that he'll even notice....

>>17801834
>What's the difference between someone who says they love you and someone that actually loves you

Actions and consistency. If someone means it, it shows in how they act.

>>17801935
>How common is it for Asian American ( guys to be self-hating of their own race?

Depends on the type of guy, the type of Asian, and the type of community they grew up in.

If you were raised Asian, you only date asians because that's what everyone expects you to do.

If you were raised white, you don't date asians because you've built up so many biases against Asians.

For example, I'm half korean. Koreans are intolerant towards any other race (my mom was basically kicked out of her family and trash talked for a decade for marrying my dad), and have a fucking crazy pride.

I don't hate koreans, but don't date them because of the above (I've dated one Korean girl, but she was white washed like me).

I am American, and have no real loyalties towards the Korean culture.

Other white-washed koreans and half-koreans i know, feel exactly the same.

I could probably breakdown the exact social/psychological reasons why the two cultures don't mesh, but it'd be a wall and a half of text.

Girls, simple question, why are you so delicious?

>>17802790
>If you guys were boyfriend/girlfriend, in a mutual exclusive relationship for multiple months, then yeah that was a kind of shit thing for him to do.
We dated exclusively for about four months but never actually used the words girlfriend/boyfriend. He travels a lot and I barely got to see him, but we texted. I was happy with that and he seemed happy as well. He even flew me over to see him. He told me he'd be back in the city but left it vague and I told him I would like more solid information because I don't know if I should keep my night free to see him or do something with friends. I get a text back saying we should probably call it off. I texted back clarifying I'm not asking to have his complete schedule all the time, but wanted to know if I should get my sex toys ready or not. No response back. Just a bit puzzled.

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Girls: Is it considered weak or cowardly to ask a you on a date through anything other than in person? (like through text)

Guys,

My boyfriend has been quite insisting on marriage and start our own family for about 6 months. This scares me (I'm 6 years younger and I havent graduated from college yet) but at the same time fills me with happiness and the desire to be his wife, use his last name and carry his child. My question is if its actually possible for a man to have the desire of settle down and become a family man? Or should I think that there is something fishy? Everything is so nice that seems like a illusion sometimes.

>>17802673
You're a cuckold, move on.

Girls

What would you think if a guy sent you this message, out of the blue?

>Hey. I realized that even though we have spoken a fair bit, we don't actually know much about each other.

>>17802939
Maybe he is one of those rare guys who actually want to marry. I'll NEVER understand him.
If he will love you forever and never cheat, only time will tell.
Now answer me: >>17802894

>>17802978
That he wants to get to know you more. He wants to get past superficial how's the weather type of conversation.

>>17803008
Yea, I guess.

I just am hoping that it is taken as an invitation to just talk about what ever, instead of School, Work or EMT stuff (which she may be using as a common ground with me.)

>>17802928
>never actually used the words girlfriend/boyfriend.

Then you weren't ever really at a very serious level in the relationship. Until it's formally as one recognized (i.e. you actually talk about it and SAY IT OUT LOUD to one another) it's not a real/official relationship.

> He told me he'd be back in the city but left it vague
This is understandable (especially if he doesn't know his own plans yet, or isn't exactly sure what he feels about you)

>I told him I would like more solid information because I don't know if I should keep my night free

This is 100% reasonable and valid for you to state. You are an adult with your own life.

>I get a text back saying we should probably call it off.
This is also valid (because maybe he was busier than he thought and it's not working out for him, or maybe he's been feeling on the fence and finally made up his mind).

>I texted back clarifying I'm not asking to have his complete schedule all the time,

This sounds passive aggressive and potentially kind of needy

>but wanted to know if I should get my sex toys ready or not

This.... What? Do your sex toys require multiple days to set up? What the hell are you using?

Why are you telling him that line? Is this you trying to guilt him? Or trying to manipulative him by enticing him with sex? I can't see why you'd slip this line in...

If it was me, this line by itself (and the implications behind it) would probably just validate my decision to distance myself (because I HATE when people passive aggressively try to manipulate). But that's just me.

Ultimately, move on, if he's not in to it, he's not in to it, and the reasons don't really matter.

Find someone who is in to the things you are.


>>17802939
> My question is if its actually possible for a man to have the desire of settle down and become a family man?

Of course.

In fact... you thinking it's not possible probably says more about you than it does about him (sounds like you have a fucked up view of men)

>>17801642
Jesus christ.

Okay you look greasy all ready so stop growing out your hair and look for short hairstyle and get one. Looks like you have curly hair and just need a find a haircut that suits that

Thin frame glasses are lame. Either get raybans or gtfo. Honestly thin frame glasses never work. Get contacts or raybans.

Read the sticky you look weak.

Apart from that you have potential

>>17801693
those shoulders say otherwise.

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Oh my god I'm actually retarded. Someone save me so I can go trip again on nothing.

>>17803080
>>I texted back clarifying I'm not asking to have his complete schedule all the time,
>This sounds passive aggressive and potentially kind of needy
Did you misread? I do not need nor want to know every detail; I just want to know if I'd be seeing him that night/day so I can arrange my schedule.

>>but wanted to know if I should get my sex toys ready or not
>This.... What? Do your sex toys require multiple days to set up? What the hell are you using?
Haha, no, they don't. I want to spend time with him. However, it's not good nor healthy to sit at home and wait for a call. I make plans to keep myself busy. I don't want to be in a theatre and him text me asking me to come over. I would feel bad because I'd rather be with him than in the theatre. If he's not free, that's fine, tell me and I'll make plans to go to the theatre/etc. If I know I'd be seeing him that night, I'd arrange to shave and shower close to when I'm seeing him.

>Why are you telling him that line?
I didn't say it exactly as blunt as here. But it's assumed when we see each other, we'd be having sex. I like having sex with him. He's expressed interest in toys, and I wanted this time to be special.

Guys: I want to see/hang out with a cute guy friend I recently made, before finals week and winter break. We haven't hung out 1 on 1 before. I don't want it to be a date, I just want to see him before we leave. Should I do it? And how does this text sound:

>Hey, I hope your thanksgiving was good, do you wanna catch up and grab a snack or something before death week+holidays?

I guess I'd like to broadcast some interest but I'd also not mind just being friends because he's cool anyway.

>>17803195
I don't see any issues with this.

>>17803212
I used to be really clingy and drove guys away by being too interested too soon, so I am always paranoid that I am being clingy and weird again. i will send this message to him right now

>>17803195
Do you want to date or friendzone him?
Answer please: >>17802894

>>17803233
I used to be really clingy and came on too strong and drove guys away before, so I want to avoid that.

He is a recent friend i made so i would like to date him but I don't know him very well yet. And he is the type of guy that would rather get to know someone before dating them (a mutual friend told me this).

>>17803231
Please, tell me how it goes.

Also, what you said leaves it in an ambigous zone, so it can go either way

Anyone turn Do Not Disturb mode on their phone when they're dating someone? I used to find it helpful because I'd get massive anxiety about someone that I was dating texting me back. It got to the point where I had to use Do Not Disturb mode so it texts wouldn't notify me when I was using another app. I was dating someone and we broke up and I'm really glad my phone is no longer imprisoning me. I'm definitely not going to do it anymore. Anyway, just curious to see who else has done it.

>>17803195
I'd be more forthright.

"Hey, I hope your Thanksgiving was good! I'd love to go on a date with you sometime before death week+holidays. Maybe (insert bar name here)? =] "

>>17803341
Also to add, I know this isn't healthy.

>>17803162
>Did you misread?

I did not.

In fact, I already explicitly stated it was perfectly reasonable and fine for you to ask for clarification.

Where your response becomes unreasonable is where he tells you he wants to call it off, and then you knee jerk and then drop some awkward and unprompted explanation as to why you want to know, when:

1.) He never asked for it
2.) Sounds defensive
3.) Is worded in such a way that sounds accusing (as if he was being unreasonable and you're trying to guilt him about it)
4.) Is a rather large logical leap. (Because of how unprompted and defensive it was, it SOUNDS like you assumed the reason he didn't want to see you is because you thought he was squeamish about giving you his schedule/felt smothered--not because he could have any other possible reason (like he was ambivalent about meeting you or was busy). But that is not a normal line of thought, and in itself reveals a kind of a narcissistic/insecure/needy/desperate/something line of thinking.

I'm not trying to judge you here, but you asked for some insight. If I were in his shoes (and I've already made clear, I'm not him so I cannot KNOW how he thinks, I can only guess) these are how i'd probably interpret your actions, and my own reactions would be consistent with what you've said about his so far.

If he's not interested, Move on.

>>17803195
>how does this text sound

Sounds perfectly fine.

If you're worried about being clingly again, just take things exactly 1 step at a time.

Don't get ahead of yourself, don't over hype yourself, just enjoy that moment and don't start trying to think of the future (that doesn't yet exist).

Also... don't tell him you were clingy...

I once had a girl on a first date tell me: "I USED to be crazy clingy. When I was really young. Like 17". She'd just turned 19... I kind of wanted to just face palm and walk away then and there...

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How do I let her know that I am not interested in a serious relationship without hurting her feelings?

>>17803413
>You're really cool but i'm not looking for anything serious right now

You'll always hurt someone's feelings by rejecting them, there's no magic way that it won't hurt, but most people will be ok with the above answer

>>17803413
Just say you're not ready and want to just be slow and casual.

Girls (or guys maybe): What are some good first date ideas? I'm considering tindr and it's been a while since I've dated and I think things on there are a lot more casual. Is coffee fine? Or lunch? Maybe just walking around a mall?

I'm scared of sex

I've done it once before in the past and it seemed so unnatural and stressful. this girl I'm talking to really wants to have sex, but I'm afraid to do it..

>>17803455
i think coffee and lunch are fine, but i think for walking around a mall you'd have to establish that you both get on well conversationally and won't run out of things to talk about or get bored.

>>17803462
>for walking around a mall you'd have to establish that you both get on well conversationally and won't run out of things to talk about or get bored.

Hmm good point. At least coffee or lunch can work well though.

girls how do you feel about a guy being very private? like lets say he can play the guitar well, but wont

guys: what's the cutest/flirtiest/most memorable snap you've ever received from a girl you liked?

So, a girl I used to fool around with is single and I'm currently single and I was thinking of hitting her up to hangout. My only hold ups are that besides a HUGE career boost from the last time we were a thing, not much else about me has changed and I feel like she might not find that attractive so I'll end up looking like an idiot. I'm not outwardly insecure about any of this but these are my thoughts and I was curious what you ladies would say about my situation. Thanks in advance!

>>17803479
>snap
Do you mean snapchat or like a regular photo through facebook or something?

>>17803479
Lingerie.

>>17803479
>durr omfg im too stupid to make my own snaps

>>17803479
She sent me a pic of her face because she never does that and I rarely get snaps from anyone other than her in the first place.

>>17803476
its unattractive. Men with no confidence arent appealing.

>>17802939
>My question is if its actually possible for a man to have the desire of settle down and become a family man?
Is this a joke? Of course a man may very well desire to raise a family. If I was dating a woman and she sprung a statement like that onto me I'd be wondering if she's the one I should build my life with however.

>>17803195
Hanging out one on one pretty much declares interest from the get go. I'm friends with a few gals where we can do so, but we've known each other for ages and everything is clearly defined. Nothing is defined in your situation.

>>17803479
Some updates on arts & crafts really. Selfies and nudes are nice and all but are nothing special.

>>17803491
its more of an ulterior motive thing. like he can play well, and is confident, but doesnt want this out for reasons. or for example can speak other languages, but never does,,even when its applicable

>>17803382
>, and then you knee jerk and then drop some awkward and unprompted explanation as to why you want to know, when:
I felt that the response was just clarifying, but I understand that it can be perceived differently. Thank you for your insights.

>>17803476
I know a girl like this. She can play guitar and sing amazingly but very rarely does so and I'm the only person she has ever played for. I can't figure out why since she's very talented and seems very MEH about her skills.

>>17803476
>>17803511
It would still reek of lack of confidence. And the not wanting anyone to know for "reasons" also sounds like really tacky "so mysterious lol" shit too.

>>17803341
I try to avoid using texting as our main form of communication, because I know I'll just be waiting for the next text all day.
We plan out Skype dates and phone calls. Then I can remember, "oh,it'll just be X amount of time before we talk next."

>>17802939
How long have you been dating him?
I really suggest graduating college before you get pregnant.

>>17803341
I do but I do it in general. My phone goes Do Not Disturb at 8pm every night and comes back on at 9am the next day, so it's a good way of having a night to myself without people bugging me or me feeling like I have to be in conversation until I go to sleep.

>>17802520
You might want to plan things in advance rather than doing things on a whim. That makes it so he can properly schedule time for you, without requiring him to be on call every night.

>>17803483
What's wrong with nothing changing in your life? She liked you then, why wouldn't she like you now?

>>17803524

>you get approached
>he gets your number
>you talk
>go on a couple dates or whatevee
at this point he clearly has to be confident
>now you go to each others places
>be at his place
>see object of intrigue
>inquire, ask for demo, etc
>he deflects and changes the subject
OR
>entertains it, but only once or twice

still lack of confidence?

What am to do with this girl? I can't say we're dating. We've established that we both like each other. Neither of us has been in a relationship before so we're both kind of clueless. We've been seeing each other for about 3 months now, both 21 years old.

This is what's bothering me. What we have between us doesn't feel like a relationship. We're not close. This whole time we've only hugged like 2 times, and that was just recently. We haven't made any further physical contact. Never held hands or anything. When we talk the conversations don't really go anywhere. It's always the smallest of small talk. She doesn't really respond much to what I have to say most of the time. For example I show her something I like on my phone and she flatly responds "oh cool" and ends it there. She never makes eye contact and she's never complimented me about anything, but I do both of those things to her. I can't be myself around her because she doesn't respond the way most people do. It's hard to talk to her and make her initiate things. I'm not really enjoying my time with her because of this.

Can I really just blame this all on her shyness and inexperience? What do I do? I don't want to break up with her because I still really like her but I'm getting increasingly more worried.

Yes I've posted about this before btw

>>17803255
(update) He responded saying he's down and asked me where/what we should do!

Now i have to think of something we can do shit. I think he's implied he wants to spend more time with me than just grabbing a snack so I gotta think

>>17803554
I didn't change a lot of things she and I talked about in the past and seeing as how we only fooled around I'm not sure the qualities she liked can hold up if I'm stuck where I was years ago. I'm probably just over thinking this all.

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How long should you wait before you ask a girl out?
At what point does it become too late and you're stuck in the friend zone forever?