Is my gf trying to cheat on me?

>>17798854
Go and try to catch her.
Good luck her friends stare at you like you're crazy and then your gf dumps you because you don't trust her.

>>17798854
What is shady?
>She has an aunt
>Aunt is going out of town
>She babysits the kids

What's so wrong? And, even if she wanted to go to a club, what's so wrong about it?

>>17798854
So what you're saying is she told you one thing, all the facts line up with what she said, and you still don't believe her.

It sounds like you have big trust issues.

Is there any legit reason not to believe her?

>>17798861

She could be grinding on guys, possibly drinking doing God knows what behind my back. It's kinda unfair to me.

>>17798866
Or she could have fun with her friends and enjoy herself with her friends.

Do you trust her or not? If you don't, just dump her and move on. It sounds like you have MAJOR trust issues.

>>17798854
Go try to catch her.

If she's lying you owe it to yourself to know. If she isn't do not let her know you followed her or it will cause major problems

>>17798863

She hung out with this guy friend recently. She has a "group" she goes to raves and concerts with. This guy is part of the group. I feel like he's been texting her and convincing her to go. I've met him and their relationship is pretty only best friends. She's known him longer than I, and tells me he tried to get with her before but she turned him down. She's also been talking about the event to me the whole month like she wants to go.

>>17798871

Because she has lied to me before. She told me she was with her friends making kandi bracelets for a rave when she was at her house for hours with her best guy friend. Some chubby Hispanic guy. Who she never hung out (to my knowledge) with because I didn't let her up until recently. She's fakedoing going into work once to be with friends.

>>17798854
>I know she likes the party scene. We met at a rave
If she isn't lying this time she will or already has and you too far up her ass to realize it. Why in hell try to have a relationship when someone is still playing. Makes no sense for you or her to do it and wasting each others time.

>>17798854
Send a bro to do it for you. Or text her during the night asking her if she wants you to babysit with her because you are bored and if not youd just go to the rave without her.
Shes in a rock and a hard place then.

>>17798880
Then dump her.
It's unhealthy to stay in a relationship like this one.
You're being stupid.

>>17798861
Once the lies start you know its shady. Youd only lie if you knew there would be a problem otherwise.

>>17798881

I feel like she already has cheated on me

>>17798854

Think about it this way. If you go there to "catch" her, you might stop her from cheating on you that one time. Who's to say she won't try on some other guy? If she's the kind of girl who wouldn't cheat, then she won't give into the temptation. You going over there to check up on her will only make her trust you less. It may make her even more likely to cheat on you in the future.

>>17798880
>when she was at her house for hours with her best guy friend.
wait for it...
>I didn't let her up until recently.
AH! So that's why she lied. Because you're controlling her social life.

>>17798890
It's a cycle.

>You're controlling
>She lies because you're controlling
>You get more controlling
etc.

Stop dating her. Relationships are about trust and communication, you lack in both.

>>17798880
Nothing in the original post brought up any red flags. But if she lied to you about hanging out with another guy, thats an ultimate red flag.

>>17798901

Well she has told me she cheated on her ex because she had a fwb. This was like 2 weeks into our relationship. I mean, it's kinda hard to just trust her. Yea she is an adult and can do things, but I don't wanna feel disrespected or used.

>>17798907
Lying because someone is controlling isnt an excuse. Being controlling is a subjective argument. Obviously the person doing it doesnt think they are being controlling and its up to the individuals to decide whats controlling and whats not.
Like I wouldnt let my gf go to a frat party where being nude is the theme. I wouldnt say directly she cant go but Id definitely tell her in no way is it okay and Id leave her if she did.
That doesnt excuse lying about going then because she thinks Im controlling. Lying is always the problem in a relationship. Any issues that arise are the liars responsibility.

>>17798914
That was her ex. Not you.

Your relationship is unhealthy.

>>17798918
Once a cheater always a cheater. Did she cry and beg for forgiveness. If not shes the same cheater and shouldnt really be trusted.

>>17798911

She told me WHO she was with. Jesse, her best friend who I have met and raved with. I trust they haven't been doing stuff but he has had feelings for her. She told me that day over text they stopped by her house to pick some stuff up. It was the truth. But I went by her place and his car was still there. She never left to hang out with the "group" like she was telling me. She even made me wait 30 min because she lied saying they were driving her back when she was already home. Yes I confronted her and admitted I stalked her. But she said she only did that because she knew I'd be mad that it was just jesse and she needed time to get ready or some shit for me

>>17798922

She never even told him. Once he hit her phone up, she told me to answer, I did and it was her ex wanting to speak to her. She told me no and I hung up.

>>17798917
I'm not saying that lies are justified if your boyfriend is controlling, but it is a very common cycle.
The point is - you don't get to decide what a person does or doesn't do. You don't "let" and adult do something or not.
You talk to them, see if you can come to an agreement you're both comfortable with, and if you can't, you split up.

Again - you ARE controlling if you think you are the one who decides what your partner does or what they don't do. It's not as subjective as you think.

>>17798893
then don't keep chasing this shit. it sounds like she is constantly doing shady shit so refuse to live like this. she's not gonna change so get away from her

>>17798940
>you don't get to decide what a person does or doesn't do
Actually we do it all the time. Its called a contract a abstract social construct created to obligate people to following their wishes.
>my gf doesnt decide what I do, Im going to cheat on her
It doesnt really make since. By being in the relationship you are allowing the person to decide what is okay and whats not okay. You can always walk away. As long as they arent tying you down they are free to set what ever terms they want.

Op here

She's told me before after 7 mpnths of dating that we should just become fwb so she can be by herself and we can still have sex. But I didn't want that because we've become too attached.

>>17798963
Either this is bait or you guys need to break up.

>>17798963
you've become attached she isn't. How much plainer can she be? She wants to party and rave so stop it.

>>17798960
That's not how a relationship works, or at least a healthy one.
When you are in a relationship you and your partner together discuss the boundaries you both have. If you don't want the same thing, you either compromise or you walk away.
You do not decide anything over your partner's will. You do not give up the power to make decisions over yourself. You have no obligation to follow someone's wishes.
You compromise and see what works well for both. It is a mutual understanding, it is not "I have control on you, you have control on me".

The idea that relationships are "Wee, my boyfriend didn't let me go out with the girls two weeks ago, I will start making a huge drama bout him going out with his friends" is very immature.

>>17798970
It's not she really said that to me. Sometimes I feel the same because we both get really mad and hate each other sometimes. We fought a lot. But loved a lot too.

I just wanna know why she can't be honest.

File: IMG_0676.jpg (48KB, 445x469px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 445x469px

>>17798854
>met at a rave

>>17798871
Why would she have to lie about it though you fucking cuck?
Kill yourself

>>17798990
>I just wanna know why she can't be honest.
BECAUSE YOU'RE CONTROLLING

>>17799000

She says to me she isn't a slut, and id hust friendly. She told me she only had a couple ons, but would always leave the clubs alone. and that night we met she only grinding my dick and made out with me. I got her number. We hung out again at her place the next night and had sex. I initiated but she was down to go raw and I said we use a condom. We eventually switched to raw tho.

>>17799004

I wouldn't be if she wasnt so young and reckless while she is with a guy.

>>17799002
Beside the fact that we have no evidence that she lied about babysitting. But ignore it, yeah.

>>17799013
I don't understand why these cucks are so butt hurt. She blatantly told you she has to babysit, but then you think she's going clubbing? If she does go clubbing she lied to you - I don't get the logic behind these white knight betas

>>17799018
You brought up that she can go clubbing if she wants, which would imply she lied. Again, you're a cuck and should kill yourself

>>17799023
She can go clubbing if she wants. OP is not her dad.
She shouldn't lie and we agree on that, but (1) in the OP there wasn't any reason to believe she was lying (2) OP shouldn't have such huge issues with her going clubbing if she trusts her.

She also said to me recently she wants to be eaten out. It's not my thing, I don't do it. I only did it to her once in the beginning of our dating but it was barely for a few seconds. She says she is comfortable with it and it could be a deal breaker to her.

She'll say shit like that and then the next day she says "oh no I like our sex, I didn't mean that" which is precisely what happened.

>>17798990
She wants to sleep around and party not tied to anyone. But she wants to keep you around. The only way to do this is to lie.

File: IMG_0333.png (928KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]

928KB, 640x1136px

>>17799027
I just don't jnderstand why she can't just tell him she wants to go clubbing. She should not have to lie.
Also
>meeting at a rave

>>17798984
>You do not decide anything over your partner's will. You do not give up the power to make decisions over yourself. You have no obligation to follow someone's wishes.
This literally sounds like something a person cheating would say.
>"I have control on you, you have control on me".
This is literally what a relationship is.

>>17799036
You really don't?
You've never had a controlling partner who put up a scene when you went out with certain people or went to certain places?
Because I sure did, and I can understand why she lies.
Not that she's justified or it's okay to lie. But it's very fucking much understandable.

>>17799042
Darn that sucks for you I guess

>>17799032
>doesn't eat his girl out

There are actually people like this?

Op here. Another thing though that's important to understand about all of this is I've been physical with her.

Onr instance that was the worse. Her dad was in town, we were in my car, we got into an argument about money and her not paying her share. I said she needs to be serious with me and respect me. Not doing drugs behind my back. She said she can't respect me and can whatever she wants. I smacked her hard with the back of my hand. Her nose bled all over her to shirt. Yea. That's how we were. I've thrown her around. It's her fault for running back to me and stayingmail but I don't accept it when she wants to be a bitch to me, turn the tables and manipulate me (which is what she's trying to achieve). Like she thinkd, if she goes away for 3 months, I'll take her back. LMAO. Fuck that noise. I told her that straight up I wouldn't talk to her. Of course she was confused.

Either way, she's a woman and holds all the power in this cuck society. So all I have are the tools I've given myself. Because I have dignity and self respect. I can play her games, I'm not gonna lay down and make it easy for her.

>>17799039
>This literally sounds like something a person cheating would say.
What? How is "We both agree on the boundaries we have in our relationship" something that a cheater would say? Just because I would never let my boyfriend decide if I go to a party or if I go out with my friends am I a cheater now? That's plainly retarded.

And no, relationships are not giving up control on yourself. Did you grow up in an abusive household or something? Did you get your understanding of relationships out of some German dungeon porn?

>>17799061
what a fucking pussy you are

File: IMG_0452.jpg (36KB, 428x469px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 428x469px

>>17799061
>met her at a rave

>>17799054

Her vagina smeals. She said that about my dick before too but she was a good girl about that. Honestly it's not the same.

>>17799075
*smells

Fucking phone

>>17799068
>You cant tell me I cant suck my ex's dick
>Stop being controlling
You literally sound like a cheater

>>17799061
>smacked her hard with the back of my hand
Are you surprised she might want someone who wouldnt do that? Its just a matter of time till she leaves. And a you both start fucking other people

>>17799078
Yup, you definitely did grew up in an abusive household.

>We both agree it's disrespectful to hang out with previous sexual partners
is not controlling
>You *don't let me* hang out with my ex boyfriend
is controlling.

The point is that both parties have to agree on the behaviour and your SO is not your child. Duh.

>>17799075
Tell her to have better vaginal hygine practices.

Problem solved.

>>17799092
The only difference is the first on accepts it.
The only reason why the second one doesnt like it is because shes a cheater. That simple. Its an agreement until you dont like it.

File: 20161029_221636.jpg (1MB, 2592x1944px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2592x1944px

This is her. That's me on the left.

>>17798871
What's with the vagina police all over /adv/ these days?

If she is indeed at the club, it doesn't matter if she's grinding or praying because having lied about it is a big problem onto itself.

>>17799144
>cute
check
>furry ears
check

You're done mate.

>>17799251
Of course lies are wrong and if she's actually at the club he is right to be mad.
It's the idea that if she is clubbing she necessarily has to be acting like a whore that is wrong. It's the fact that she needs to hide it from him or ask his permission that is wrong.

>>17798861
clubs are the epicenter of hookup culture

are you retarded?

File: Screen Shot 2016-11-15 at 8.56.31 PM.png (765KB, 1089x915px) Image search: [Google]

765KB, 1089x915px

>>17798854


>What do you guys suggest.


I suggest you talk to your girlfriend about whats going on in your relationship instead of a bunch of losers on the internet, you idiot.

>>17799319
He knew that she liked clubbing before starting to date her. They met at a rave.
If he was so against it, he shouldn't have dated her to begin with.
It's unfair to date a person and then ask her to change.

File: 1479144090616.jpg (159KB, 720x928px) Image search: [Google]

159KB, 720x928px

>>17799144
>DYEL

>>17799295
and yet no one is saying that except you. stop projecting you fucking cuck

>>17798871
"Trust issues" - the #1 phrase women use to brainwash men.

SOME guys do have legit trust issues, yes. ANY guy would have "trust issues" about his girlfriend lying to him and sneaking out to a club. In case you're genuinely unaware, people go to clubs because they want to show off and hook up. If she wanted to be faithful, she'd bring her boyfriend to the club with her.

>>17798854

Start out by trusting your girlfriend you insecure fuck. Aunt is going out of town and she has to babysit, why the fuck are you overthinking this?
Do you suspect her of fucking the entire football team when she goes to the store as well?

>>17799665
Beside OP said so in the post I replied to.
>She could be grinding on guys, possibly drinking doing God knows what

>>17799678
We do not know if she's lying to him and sneaking out to the club.
I posted that after literally three comments when we didn't know she lied in the past or anything.